Etiquette

Hi K.!

First off ~ CONGRATULATIONS!!

My input is no matter what you do it will come off ofensive or "wrong" to somebody. Do what you and your husband feel good about. I would like to suggest a " come over and meet our family " party. Remember that those who love you and care about you will be thrilled to be a part of such a unique and wonderful gathering!

:)
Best of luck to you!

M.

I don't think that its rude at all. But, I was just wondering if bridal and house warming gifts were the same type of gifts. I remember our shower (9 years ago). It was not really called a bridal shower but a couples shower because it was intended for my husband and myself. We recieved gifts for the home and for ourselves as a couple too. We did register at Marshal Fields before the party so that guests could know what we wanted. This may sound crazy but maybe you could call it "Our New Start" party or something that indicates the beginning of your lives together as a family?
Just a thought

Everyone deserves a shower and gifts of celebration! On that note, a house warming/celebration of your new family is absolutely appropriate. Most likely, the friends and family that you will be inviting will come to celebrate with you and bring you nice gifts that you will need, want and treasure for whatever kind of party you decide to have. Go for it!

It is definately not rude. You might want to check out evite.com for invitation ideas. I'm trying to come up with invitation titles or something to help, but nothing is coming to mind. But, you should put something in there about your marriage and the new house. You could include a picture of all three of you. That way, everyone knows you're married with a child.

I hope my rambling has helped.

I agree with you that I would just leave it as a house warming party. If you say it is both, I would feel obligated to bring two gifts. Your friends know you didn't have a big wedding etc and will just look at it as a big party

I say can the bridal shower part. To me that WOULD appear...not rude, but tacky. It'd be one thing if you were having a small wedding/vow renewal at the same time. Then you could invite to your marital celebration only and that often covers household gifts.
But throwing your own bridal shower and at the same time have a housewarming party....noooooo. It looks greedy to say the least. You're married. A housewarming benefits the house, at the giver's discretion. This is a win/win situation.

I don't think it's 'rude' to have the bridal shower -- just too late. Everyone you would be inviting knows you -- and the house warming is a great idea -- Enjoy your friends and family and all that has happened in the last two years -- you deserve the celebration. My advice though, and I am not an expert by any means, just stick to the house warming and enjoy it!
Congrats by the way!!

Stick with the housewarming party, only. Some people will give you the same types of gifts they would have for a shower anyway. Besides, since you've already been married for over two years, you probably already have a lot of "shower-type" stuff. Or, if not, and people ask what you need, you can tell them "we really need towels for the powder room." Otherwise, yes, I think it would be in poor taste to make any reference to a shower in the party invitations.

Hi K.! I think you should just have a house warming party. You're right, two years is way too long. People will remember that they didn't do anything for you back when you got married and had the baby and will more than likely bring something very nice for your new home. I would just say something when you talk to guests like "We are just SOOO excited to finally be having a house warming party! Especially since we weren't even able to celebrate our wedding and the baby with any parties. It's so nice to finally be able to do that! So, this is just going to be a celebration of it all! I hope you can come, we're going to have SOOOO much fun!!!". I would verbally, casually say somthing like to your friends but I would not put bridal shower on the invitations. It would just look like you are just asking for gifts.
Hope that helps!
C. B

Definitely just keep it a housewarming party - some people will bring gifts, others may not (or will just bring a bottle of wine). Just enjoy the fun of getting family and friends together!

A shower should be thrown by someone else and should be something that is done before the event...sometimes after when it comes to a baby, but then it's more a welcome baby party!

Another thought, if your family still exchanges birthday/Christmas gifts, I would put your household 'wants' on those lists....rather than ending up with random gifts that you don't really want/need. (Same goes for hubby, as I'm sure there are tools and outdoor household things that he may need!) It's just a good way to get more of the things you want or need for the house. Recommending gift cards is great, too - easy to do for the purchaser and gives you guys the option as to what to spend it on.

Best wishes!

Unfortunately, I don't think you can have a bridal shower for yourselves. Traditionally, showers are thrown by someone else. I think it is sort of tacky to throw one for yourself, because essentially, you are saying, "come and shower me with gifts." It is ok for someone else to do it, because you're not asking for it. A house warming party is fine, but you probably will not receive gifts in the same way...If your family and friends keep talking about, it you could mention that you don't think it's appropriate to throw a party for yourselves, and maybe they will decide to host it!

Hi Kim:
I never saw this until this evening. Did you ever plan it yet? What did you decide? I think having an open house/house warming party would be excellent. If you want a shower then I would recommend someone else put it on for you. They can do it at your home but combine the two. They can do the invitations and write on the invite this is for Kim since they nver had a chance to hold a shower so lets plan it how since they finally have their home so lets make this a very special time for the to celebrate both!!!
How cool is that. Its the way you word it...I hope you are doing something,
L.

I would just send out the invites as a house warming party.Go register at Target or Bed Bath and Beyond (or where ever you thought of). You can always tell people you have registered if they ask about gifts, also let a couple of your friends know that you registered in case anyone asks them. It won't hurt to register, but then if you get things you need, and if people don't want to get gifts they don't have to feel pressured. Plus, the registries are usually good for a year so you can use it for birthday and Christmas gift ideas for family to give you. Congrats on the new house!

I thin you should make it a big wedding reception at your house. I got pregnant before marriage as well. We got married when my son was 5 months old, we had a small wedding. I felt some people did no make it very special for me because we were basically already married living together with a child. But it was a nice small wedding. I started West Michigan Parents Network if you are interested we set up playgroups, have weekly organized activities, moms night out, find babysitters and discussion forum. go to http://www.westmiparents.org and check it out.

Thanks E. Piedmonte

My husband and I had a small wedding (35 people) too. After we got back from our honeymoon we held and "open house" at our house. This was our way to celebrate with all our friends and family. It turned out really nice! I don't know if it's proper ettiquette because it's 2 years later. I just wouldn't draw attention to that fact. I'd just send out invites with saying something like..... We are finally in our new home!Please join us in celebration of our marriage! ... Hope that helps.

I think, just have the house warming party, you can register for gifts for that just like you would have for a shower. If you really felt like you missed out on the bridal stuff, wait another year or two and have a recommital of your vows.

hi kim,
I Think honestly your instincts are the right ones for this specific occasion, considering the fact that you have been married 2 years already, people KNOW YOU ARE MARRIED ALREADY and after all don't you already have most things you would have at that bridal shower anyway? would'nt you rather have gifts for your new home? rather than a cute pair of lingre or panties? thats what you get at a bridal shower other than a few household items that probably would not even go with the decor you are working on now? A housewarming party would be more quaint you know warming!!!! it means your well on your way now in your new home and wellllll on your way in your 2 year old marriage!! besides, most people are already getting a divorce 2 years after they've said their vows. why don't you wait and plan on a Baby shower instead!!!!!! in your new home!!!!! as far as etiquette goes it's perfectly fine to have that bridal shower as long as the guests has the same view as you do, i'm older so maybe nowadays you can do things differently????? just don't get upset when you get a pair of underware and matching towels with your names inscribed on them or get a robe when what you really wanted was a beautiful set of china linen or silverware ah ah oh well water runs deep and i could go on allday bout things like this!

Yes, I agree giving yourself a "shower" is wrong--sorry. I think if you want to have a gathering of friends in your new home that would be great--but I wouldn't call it a shower. I think many of your close friends will bring gifts anyway.

Have fun--Congratulations and GL:)

Hi K.,

I agree with your hesitation about calling the party a wedding shower. Not only is it very belated, it is not proper etiquette to host a shower for yourself. So if you are thinking of doing a belated shower at all, it really should be hosted by someone else in your honor. As you plan to host the party yourself, I would recommend going with the housewarming party theme to celebrate moving into your new home. People will typically bring gifts to a housewarming party, however, I wouldn't specifically mention gifts on your invitation because you don't want to appear to be asking for gifts.

You could always renew your vows in a small little ceremony at the house warming party. That way you could kind of include everyone you didn't before and welcome them into your new home you have made together....

Go with your comfort level, and I'm reading a comfort level of "house warming party." But ... you choose.
Hey just glanced at a couple other responses, and the "new beginnings" or "celebration of love" idea sounded appealing as well, if you really want to combine stuff.

Maybe I'm missing the point...why worry about what you call it? People will bring one gift anyway and they would probably buy the same thing either way.

Hope it's a fun day - what ever you decide!

S.

well you are asking for an opinion so here goes LOL not sure if I am hip to the shower thing cause the wedding is passed (I understand what you are saying but maybe the wording should be a little creative) I think the housewarming is great idea though and I am sure you have lots of needs so I would register too - I dont think that would be to presumptive. Anyway something along the lines of Mr and Mrs Your Name request your company (I am thinking a formal invite will get the idea across better) at a celebration of life and love culmintaing in the purchase of our family home - or at a celebration of the last two years beggining with our marraige and culminating in our purchase of our family home -

something like that that is creative would be completely acceptable. in fact you could google some wording or ask at your local invitation shop. put in a return envelope and it will be even more formal. If I received a formal invite I would be more apt to think need to get a cool gift and have a great time!!

I think you should stick to the house warming only. If the people who are telling you to have a shower combo party want to, they'll bring a gift without being asked to. Showers 2 years plus after the fact seems a little off-putting to me.

I don't think "rude" is the right term--- but if you don't have a shower before the event, you don't have it. I personally would stick to the house warming and if people bring gifts, great, but the object at this point should be to welcome friends and family and share your home, not receive gifts. If you want to incorporate the baby and wedding you can say something on the invite to the effect of "Jane" "John" and "baby" invite you to share in a belated celebration of our marriage and new home, please join us...blah blah. Or something a little more clever like...it's taken us 3 years, but please join us to celebrate our marriage at our new house....

Kim,
I would just keep it as house warming. You'll probably get the same gifts. I know my wedding shower was all stuff for the house. Anyhow, people that are close to you and your husband should know that you got married. If that's not the case then in your ivitiations, you can write a blurb about what has gone on in the last couple years and that you and your husband want to celebrate it with your family and close friends. If you want to register for certain gifts, I think you can still do that for a house warming. I think your past the whole bridal/newlywed stage. Sorry just my opinion.

Hi K.,
Congratulations to all the wonderful things that have happened in your life in the past 3 years!!! Lots of life change, but wonderful life change :)
My advice: I'd stick to the housewarming party theme

BUT

if one of these well-meaning family/friends who is pushing for you to have a shower/reception offers to throw it FOR you, then that's different. It's one thing to throw one for yourself; entirely different if someone else is giving it in your honor. So maybe just see if someone offers to do it for you - otherwise, I'd just stick with the housewarming party idea and have a BLAST with it! :)

I would stick to just having a house warming party. Seeing as you married in '05 quite a bit of time has passed and I feel it would be rude and tackey to expect "Bridal Shower" gifts.

Housewarming would be great and I bet you will be surprisedd at the gifts you receive.

i agree w/ you. i think throwing a bridal shower for yourself is a bit odd. you will get gifts for your house warming party anyway (we got tons and had been married for two years). i'd stick w/ the house warming party. :)

Having the shower combined is weird. I would feel awkward going to an event like this. Depending on how formal this event will be...I wonder if you could still register??? I don't know if all registries say "wedding or baby"...Some may just be "registries"...check with Lowes or Home Depot to start. Anyway, If I was formally invited to a house warming and there was a registry that didn't have anything to do with wedding, I would be fine with it.
Another idea would be to send out invites with pictures of some of the rooms you'd like to decorate or stock and give general themes for the room or colors. Download your photos to kodak, walmart, shutterfly...any of these have photo cards and you can be so creative.
A third idea is a themed housewarming party like "Help stock our new kitchen housewarming party" That sounds lame, but you get the picture...Pick a room and let your guests pick something they think you'd find useful, or you'd love.
Hope some of this helps! Have a great party.
S.

This would be an absolute no-no in the etiquette book. Why not add to the list wedding present and a baby shower? It sounds to me that you are looking for an excute to get gifts rather than share in a celebration.

It sounds like you should just charge a cover for your party and call it what it is.

If you register for gifts somewhere and put it on the invitation then you won't have to say anything about it being a shower, it will be implied to bring gifts to this celebration.

Hi K.,
I think its only rude if you throw it for yourself. Have a family member send out the invites so you don't feel weird, it's not like your asking for hand outs, you want to celebrate your accomplishments and mile stones with family and friends. There is nothing wrong with that. GOOD LUCK

L. B.

Stick to the house warming only, K.. It would really be inappropriate to pair it up with a bridal shower just because you didn't have one. If people want to bring you gifts for your new home, they will. BUT, to ask for "bridal shower" gifts when you chose to get married quickly - and now it's two years later - people won't like it. Bridal showers are for those who are GETTING married to help them out. If people get married out of state (or wherever) and then have a "reception" and people want to give them gifts - great. But to ask for them 2 years later is pretty tacky.

I think it could be perceived as rude or greedy if you are throwing this for yourself. HOwever you mentioned some friends said you should do it. If the invitation was worded correctly and your friends were willing then maybe they can throw it for you. I think it would still be okay to have it at your house and combine it with your house warming. That also works too if the friends who mentioned it aren't willing or capable of supplying the food and drink etc that is normally associated with a shower, you could cover that with the house warming.

First off, congratulations on moving into your first house. It is very exciting. But about the etiquette...it's very "proper" to have a house warming party. It's a wonderful way to share your joy with others, but it is absolutely inappropriate to "throw" your own wedding shower. You have been married for 2 years. If a friend or family member did not see fit to have a shower for you then, it would be rude to have a wedding shower for yourself now. Also, my nephew and his wife were in the same situation you were in. There was no wedding shower but we still sent gifts upon their marriage. Your family and friends could have, too. Many people bring gifts to a house warming, unless you specifically ask them not to. Anyone that regrets not having gotten you a wedding gift now has an opportunity to get you a gift. I would certainly leave it as a house warming only party. Have fun, and again, congrats!

Hello K.,

If you family and friends are aware of your situation and your needs then I would simply invite everyone to a house warming party to share in your good fortune and in your family. Simple is always the best way - please come to our new home and share our joy as our family begins a new life together. Since it has been three years, this shows that you value family and friends and would like to welcome them into your new home. They will probably ask if there is anything that you need or bring a nice gift anyways (I would at least) and then go from there. That way, it seems to me, that you are not looking for a handout and you are not being rude. Congrats on your new home and little one!

C.

K.--Congratulations on your new house!! That is quite a feat to be able to move into your own place in such a short amount of time!
About the party--it is acceptable to hold a house-warming party so all your friends and family will be able to see your new home. Traditionally, guests bring gifts for the new house, and you could help them out by registering with Bed, Bath and Beyond or Target (you get the idea) then slip a note to that effect in your invitation. If you are good with ideas, it might be fun to word the invitation as if the house itself was inviting people and "...by the way, I'm registered at..." This way, your guests could treat the house-warming like a shower without you actually throwing yourself a shower (which would be very tacky!)
Good luck with this and have fun in the process!
J.

Hi K.,

I believe that having a bridal shower is a way to celebrate an upcoming union, not one that has taken place months or years prior. This has happened to a couple people I know, and I've always said that the consequence of doing things quickly is that you do miss out on all the "extras". Unfortunately, you just have to move on from there and let that go.
I think just doing a housewarming party is appropriate, since you've been married for 2 years already, but the house is new. I've seen cute invitations that say "The paint is dry, come and see our new place!" If people want to, they will bring a gift, and those closest to you already know about the wedding situation and may honor that too.
Just my opininon!! God bless your new home and family!
J.

K.,

A wedding shower may be a little out of the ordinary. House warming parties cover bringing a gift. My suggestions would be maybe say we would like to invite you to our house warming party and by the way we are planning on celebrating our long over due wedding reception so bring your party shoes..... That is of course unless you already had a reception.

Best of luck!
P.

You have gotten so many responses already, and I agree with the people that have said that you should only have a housewarming party. Two years after your wedding is too late to have a bridal shower. It really wouldn't be right.

Yes to the house warming BUT NO to the bridal shower. You already got married almost two and half years ago. It doesn't matter than you choose to have a wedding with only two people. I think it looks tacky to have a bridal shower, it looks like your asking for gifts. So just have a house warming party. I am sure people will get you things for the new house anyways.

You've passed the shower stage. Have a house warming party and the gifts you get will be similar to shower gifts. People may call to ask what you need, have a list ready, or available.

I just gave a bridal shower to a new friend of mine (from Jamaica) who had a similar quick wedding in Dec. (I met her from church.) She and her (American) husband didn't have any kind of wedding reception, or bridal shower, etc. She doesn't really know anyone/nor have any friends close by. So we did a kitchen themed shower. I actually explained their situation a little bit on the invitation. She registered somewhere. And we invited ladies from church. It ended up working out well.
As far as etiquette goes, I would probably stick to the house warming and leave out the bridal shower bit. Although, if you have a good friend who could do one for you, why not? I don't really know what would be best, or the "correct" thing to do. Good luck!

i would say just have a house warming party, most likley people will bring a gift anyways

Kim, you could call it a house warming party and go ahead and register for things you would like to have. Call it a wish list for your new home not a shower. If you call it a shower it does seem rude. Hope this helps.

Absolutely throw a party to celebrate your house. Personally, though, I think it is offensive and rude to throw any kind of party where you expect or even hint on an invite that the guests should bring gifts. Anyone with any tact will know to bring you a housewarming gift. You just don't want to come off like you are asking for handouts!

Because you said it first, I don't mind saying that it sounds a bit awkward, if not rude. The problem is that each party has different social expectations with regards to gifts - house warming is usually optional, showers it's required. By putting Bridal Shower on the invitation you are saying that you've been married two years, but you want them to bring presents. Maybe they are badly needed right now, to them that may be beside the point. What you could do is register like it was a shower, put on the inviations "Presents Optional" (that whay they know that you are open to receiving them) and then let them know where you registered. That way they know what you need to make your house a home - but you're not crossing that very fine line in social etiquette. Not everyone is going to remember that you didn't get a bridal shower either. Side stepping the shower saves on hurt or confused feelings. Leave it to the guests to decide if they are going to bring you a gift or not.

Etiquette, shmetiquitte. You totally deserve to have that shower that you missed! If you are concerned about what other people will think, enlist a friend to put his/her name on it. They could put something like, "K. and Husband missed out on that shower two years ago, let's whoop it up for them now that they have a new home!" Or something like that. If people think that it is rude, they won't come and honestly, who needs the wet blankets anyway? If they care about you, they will come and if it is a friend's name on the invite, they can't blame you.

I threw a "surprise" shower for a friend of mine when she was expecting her third baby. She knew about it, but was so afraid that people would call her greedy for having another shower. Life should be celebrated whether that is a new baby, new house, new marriage, new dog, whatever. Any excuse to have a party is a good one for me.

It really would be odd to throw yourself a shower 2+ years after you were married. And it would be really, really odd to register somewhere at this point specifically for this reason. Sorry, but that ship has sailed... Stick to the housewarming party idea, and hope your friends think of gifts. One way that might encourage this is if someone in your family "threw" the open house on your behalf.

Congratulations on everything! Stick with the housewarming and let someone throw you a shower, if they want. It's not unusual to have a houswarming for yourselves to share your new home with your friends and family, but a baby or bridal shower should be GIVEN.

Hi K., I say have the family you were living with send out the invites. Even if they are not actually hosting it. You can send them as if it were them throwing it. The invites could say something like. "They are finally on their own" "Let's give them the party they deserve" K. and "whoever" have finally moved on in their lives in a new home. Come celebrate their marriage, child, and new home. It all depends on how your "people" are. If you feel they will accept it or not. If you feel comfortable sending them yourself, then do it. Say the same thing..We have finally gotten a new start in our lives. Come celebrate our marriage,family, and new home. I don't think it's that odd. Coming from someone who doesn't have a lot, I think it's a great idea. I agree with everyone else with not saying "shower" on the invites but if it was worded more like I said, then I think everything should be fine. I wouldn't register anywhere though. Then it just sounds too presumptious. But if I got the invite and seen marriage, family and home, I would definitely bring a gift. Hope you get something from all of our responces. GOOD LUCK.

If you list the wedding or baby shower on the invite, I think you could offend people. However the house warming idea is great. Just make sure it's about time with your family and friends, not the gifts.

I think thats a wonderful idea!! My friend did something simular, she was married in front of a judge, then had a shower/housewarming party a year or so later. But they did it almost like a wedding reception. Dinner, music, etc. That way people feel like there participating in something, not just bringing you gifts. Anyway, good luck and congrats!!!

I would say send out invitations for a house warming party but also creat a registry. Instead of including information about the registry with the invites just tell your parents and close friends and family and have them casually spread the word. That way people don't feel obligated to buy you something buy they can if they want.

Congrats on the move into your new house! If it were me, I would just say house warming since you've been married for 2 years ... you can register at places too (for a house warming) just like you would for a bridal shower & include it in the invitation if you wish. People will make their own decisions from there! GOOD LUCK! Let us know how you end up deciding to handle it!! I know how hectic can be to move into a house w/ a 2 year old! :)
my response is REALLY late!! It just popped up on my screen for some reason ... sorry & hope things went well if you already had your party!

Well, if we're talking etiquette, it is not your place to throw yourself a house warming OR a shower. If some of your family/friends would like to do this for you, then fine. If you do it...you're just asking for gifts. If I were you, I would simply send invitations to everyone inviting them for a barbeque or whatever and let them know you just want them to see your new home and new baby and have a party. I'm certain people will still bring gifts but it is not appropriate to ask for them. C.

Hi K.,

Honestly I agree with you, 2 years "after" you get married to have a bridal shower in my opinion is not in good taste. But a house warming party where people would most likely bring the same type of gift would be in perfect taste. If in your gut you do not feel comfortable with it then don't do it.
Unless of course you want to do the whole wedding all over again and renew your vows in front of family and friends and throw the big party, then by all means have a bridal shower before hand, if not, it just looks like you don't want to go through the expense of a party/wedding ceremony/reception, but do want everyone to buy you something.
Again, this is JMHOP and I would tell my daughter the same thing if it where her.
Good Luck & Congratulations on your marriage, baby and home!
J. in Macomb

K.,
I would have a house warming party, and make it a celebration about your house and the family you've become. I had children before I got married and didn't get the whole shower stuff but a few friends did do a new house party once I bought a new house.
Best wishes for many happy years and memories in your new home.
D. in Newaygo

How about a "New Beginnings" party? You can say that it is to celebrate your marriage and new home? Just a thought.

Actually, I think it is not that uncommon to see your situation and people register for those house warming parties. My neighbors had a housewarming, the basement is finally finished and we are married party last summer. They sent out invitations and most of thier close friends and family already knew it was a combination event anyways. I had friend two years ago, include in her housewarming party invitation the tags for where they registered at (and they were not married). I really think it is no big deal, just register somewhere and put it on the invtiations. If people chose not to participate then do not be offended and those who do that is great for you and your family.

Have not personally been in this situation, but if you were my friend, I would be in favor of it. I think what you might do, is look up one of those etticate books online or at the library...they have ways to word everything correctly. And my other thought, is to register somewhere that has childrens things also, and register for the things that your child needs for the new house. Target, Sears, Khol's, and there are other stores that have great children's selections as well as all your housewares, etc. I don't think you need to double label it, just call it a housewarming shower/ party. I think people will be excited for you since you never had anything for the wedding or baby. Good luck!

Hi K.,

I would agree with you, it's been too long to have a bridal shower. I think you should stick with the house warming. You could make a list of the things you need, like a registry so people would know what you need or would like for the new house.
Congrats on your new home too! Enjoy.

I suggest you stick to the house warming theme. It has been 2 years since you married and while you didn't have a shower - that was your choice to get married so fast and with a small private ceromony. Instead of a shower, when you hit a milestone anniversary how about renewing your vows (say 10 years).

Congratulations on your new home and new future.

Congratulations! How wonderful for you and your husband. You need to what you and your husband feel comfortable with...you don't want to feel awkward at your own part. Stick to the housewarming theme. People who want to give you a shower/wedding gift will...you will be amazed at peoples' generousity. Congratulations again and enjoy!

A house warming is perfect. I do not want to sound mean but if you were going to have a shower it should have been before the wedding and then you would invite the ladies that you planned on inviting to the wedding also. A shower is to help a couple get started especially when they have the big expense of a wedding ahead of them.

You are showing class by saying it is housewarming. The wedding was two years ago, and you are right to say that that is too long ago to have a missed shower. However.... you can frame your housewarming with "a new life together" type theme. And you can register for gifts for any kind of party. Those who feel it is a housewarming won't be offended, and those who feel that it is a missed shower will have some options. Just don't use the term bridal shower. Say "Celebration". You are showing good judgement.
L.

Technically, a bridal shower is given by someone who is not related to the bride... althought that bit of etiquette has long been lost on most.

You're already married, so it isn't a bridal shower -- you ceased being a 'bride' October'06 (you get a year.)

A housewarming is an excellent idea, and aligns with your real reason for wanting a party and needing the gifts: your new home.

Yes, a bridal shower thrown by a married woman for herself is about as tacky as I can imagine at the moment. A housewarming by a couple embarking on their first home certainly isn't.

You shouldn't really ever host a shower for yourself. Someone who cares about you should do that for you, however, I think you can kind of accomplish that goal with a celebration in your new home. You don't have to peg it as anything specific if you use invitation language that says something like this:

"Please help us fill our new house with the joy and laughter of family and friends as we celebrate the blessings of our wonderful marriage, our darling baby and our beautiful new home."

Follow with date/time/place details. I think people will get the idea, especially if they know the circumstances regarding your low-key wedding, and they'll shower you with gifts.

I would stick with the housewarming party theme too. I would feel wierd not only having a shower after 2 years of marriage, but also throwing one for myself. Maybe let the people who are close to you know what kind of things you would like for your home (parents, best friends), because they won't think it's strange.

First off - Congratulations! Second, I think you should have the house warming party and maybe instead of combining it with a shower, combine it with a "come celebrate our wedding" party. So it would be a house warming party/we're married party.
I don't think it's rude at all. You want to celebrate you love for each other and your new home that you've worked hard for. I'm sure your friends and family would want to celebrate with you :)

Congratulations and good luck!
J.

How about saying its a "Celebration of Love" or somehow combine them into a party to share the milestones in your lives? Otherwise, skip the wedding inference all together. Sounds like you're asking for 2 gifts if its 2 occasions. I don't think its appropriate to have a "Shower" after the wedding.

K.,

I would suggest having some of your friends or family throw the party for you and just have it at your new house. This could take the weird feeling away as it would be "their" idea to have a shower in your honor.

Good luck!

I'd say that, unless you get get someone else to host the bridal shower, you should stick to the housewarming party idea. Do you have someone who can host a shower for you - maybe a house warming shower - so you could register for what you hope to get? Mom, sister, cousin, friend, or a group of such folks? I think people will think it's a bit much if you yourself are directly asking for gifts vs. come see our new house now that we're settled. Hopefully, they will bring gifts one way or the other. Sounds like you're making a lot of progress. Good for you! G. B.

Wow, lots of responses! Just adding my 2-cents, but whether you throw it or someone else does, I would avoid the "shower." Present it as something like... "Please join our family as we celebrate the new beginning of the rest of our lives together. As we embark on our latest journey as a family, we invite you to help us make our house a home by allowing us to enjoy the company of our family and friends. Date, time, etc." Obviously reword it slightly if someone else is giving it for you, but I see it as perfectly acceptable to have a housewarming for yourself. If you want to register, do so, but don't advertise it by telling people in the invitation. Reserve it for those who specifically ask you if you've registered anywhere. Good luck and congratulations!