Empty Nesters

Well mine being all,a year apart flew close together. Eventually my husband and I settled into a routine. My husband retired at 59 after 37 years on the NYPD . I stayed home for the middle school/high school years. We started to travel, they got married, then started having kids! It all seemed in the blink of any eye. Are we "empty" now, no. We babysit our 8 month old granddaughter five days a week and the others on an as needed basis. So enjoy the quiet, settle into a routine and guaranteed right before your eyes, you will be babysitting grandchildren lol.

It takes a bit to find your purpose after your children leave home. But make a routine and find things to do. Take a class, learn a hobby, mentor some kids, learn to garden. As others have said foster a couple of kids if you NEED to have the noise.

You will find your sweet spot.

I worked while my kids were home so that I wouldn't have the depression you described and had my own purpose and could continued to do something for myself. So my transition was not as hard as yours.

The other S.

Not there yet, but have you considered becoming a foster parent? There are so many children in the country that would love to live in a warm and caring home.

If that's not a viable option, then you need to find something that gives you joy and pursue it. Get involved in your church (if you have one), or volunteer at the pediatric ward in your nearest hospital or nursing home. Take up some activities that you think you might enjoy; take some classes. Breed dogs. Travel.

You need to get yourself busy and engaged in activities that you will look forward to and enjoy. You can't just sit around and mope. Find a new purpose, a new passion and go after it with the kind of time and energy you never could have with a house full of kids.

I understand - it is very quiet when the kids leave home. Find somethings to keep you busy- an enrichment class at a junior college, volunteering, catching up on projects you always wanted to start but never had a chance to do. Become a mentor at a local school - what age kids do you like to work with--they need you. Volunteer with a church youth group. Get a part time job. You are so used to giving that you may feel empty because no one "needs you" Find something meaningful to do and your feelings of sadness will go away. Also make a list of things you are grateful for - less laundry, less mess, more privacy. Good luck!

It is different but in many ways much better. We had kids for the past 30 years and finally our youngest will graduate from college in May, she goes to school five hours away so has been mostly gone also. I work part-time, go to the gym almost daily, we have weekly nights out with friends, watch what shows we want, eat what we want (much more shrimp, lol), etc. You need to find who you are again. What you like to do. Figure out your friends again, or make new ones. Join things! You get to have the freedom to be you now, you just have to do it. I know some people struggle with that but you are right, if you don't involve yourself with activities it will be a pretty boring life. Get out there and find your new life. I promise, it is enjoyable and we are almost busier now than we were with all of them in the constant activities. Good Luck.

Sweetie, I'm sorry. Sounds like all the stuff you're doing in your house is helping you figure out your feelings. I'll be in your shoes before long.

When you get your teaching job and have a lot of kids you work with, maybe it will help you get through this.

I look forward to reading the other responses. Just want you to know that I'm sending my hugs and hopes that this gets easier for you soon.

Dawn

....well I have dogs.

Sighs deeply.

:(

Totally second the foster option - kids or animals! They all need loving homes :)

My answer sure won't work for everyone, but this is how we did it. After our kids were all out of the house and married, we decided to start our own home childcare business. Now we have three of our grandchildren and several other children at our house almost every day, get to see our own kids regularly as they drop off and pick up their kiddos, and are having the most fun we've ever had in life. Plus... it's a nice way to supplement our social security!!