Embarrasing Shout Out in Front of School Classmates, Teachers & Parents

I agree with Lindsay. It is a hard moment when kids start to need things that don't always sit well with us. If he is warm, let him stand in line. This change in behavior for you could change his confidence and how he interacts with his peers and you for the rest of his life. I had very strict parents who always wanted the best for me but never asked me if I wanted the same and it did a lot of damage. I just read "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves" by Naomi Aldort and it has really opened my eyes to how I want to parent. I was always trying to go against the grain because I was always told "no". I am also a product of years of therapy (which I continue until this day) but I am very good friends with my parents now. They have sat down and listened to me and they realize that their way was not the best way because I never had the chance to tell them what I wanted. You might think it is crazy to give a 6 year old a chance to express what he wants but he is person with feelings, they are just immature to an adults but they are real. Respecting those feelings from childhood on up will create a better relationship. Good Luck and don't make yourself crazy thinking about what others might think, they have issues too! Also, you're a great Mom with good instincts, your son is lucky to have you.

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Seems like you were also embarrassed that he used "the word." I have to ask...where did he hear this from? I don't know if any type of foul language is used in your home or not but if so, then he will no doubt use it himself eventually. That's just a given. Or maybe it was from t.v. or friends. Whatever the case, you didn't like the language so I think that should be a reason for some sort of discipline too. No matter where I heard cussing from when I was little, it didn't fly at home....and I knew it. Hope he's better. Seems like he's turining into a very independant young man.

I guess I really don't understand why your son couldn't stand outside with his friends. It seems like there was drama created where it wasn't needed. He is entering a stage where he wants to be a part of a group. I know you did this because you love him, but he is 6 yrs old. He needs to grow socially with children his own age.
By you dragging him inside, you were emarrassing him, not him embarrassing himself. Maybe tomorrow, dress him really warm. Tell him he can stand outside with the other children as long as he keeps his warm clothes on.
As for his outburst, you need to nip it in the bud right away. When he gets home today, I would sit him down and talk to him about it. Don't yell at him. Make sure you are at his eye level. Tell him that the word he used is not appropriate language in your family. Because he said it, he gets "so and so" consequense (ie: a time out, no TV tonight, etc) and he will continue to get a consequense for any more of this type of behavior.

Start out by realizing that you aren't the only one. Probably most of the other parents have had some similar embarrassing thing happen at some point, or will soon. Your son is at the start of first grade? They are really rule-oriented and very focused on figuring out how everything is supposed to work in school. He probably thought you were trying to "take cuts" which is totally wrong in the 6 year old world!

My son, who is a little older than yours, also has all sorts of concerns about school that either make no sense to me or that wouldn't even hit my adult radar at all. Who knows what ideas they get in their heads (but those Ramona books are a good reminder.) I remember my kid truly believed some horror stories about punishment that older kids told him on the playground.

But that doesn't mean he gets away with being rude to you. He should have consequences at home tonight. And you should probably let him make more of his own mistakes now that he's in the big boy world of school (including standing outside in the cold.) Sometimes when they pull away, if you let go for a while, they come back.

(I just remembered that in first grade we had a token system where he would earn tokens for good behavior in school and doing his little chores. That was a very good shortcut in public - instead of arguing, I would just say, "OK, you lose 5 tokens." Or use another consequence - "No TV Saturday morning," or whatever.)

I agree with the previous posts. He was not embarrassing himself at all.And he let you know it! You were the one embarrassed ;) I have also read the book by Naomi Aldort "Raising Our Children,Raising Ourselves" and found it a great eye opener.

I would talk with him out of the moment and let him know why you wanted to go inside and find out why he wanted to stay outside. Validate how he felt and why he felt he needed to use such a strong word. Explain why that word is not acceptable to the public and ask him what the two of you can do to not have such a negative experience next time. I would not use a consequence, I would use it as a chance to connect and communicate.