M.R.
Honestly, I was just looking for this funny email to forward to a friend....
It is such a hoot!!
Thanks for the post!
Heres a great list of email scares. What is your fav? Mine? The one about my prayers not being answered if I don't forward the email!
As we enter 2012, I want to thank you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I can no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, nor let the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can't sit down on a hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can't touch any woman's handbag for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public toilet.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS for the email about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I can't have a drink in a bar because I fear I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer buy fuel without taking someone along to watch the car, so a serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face, disfiguring me for life.
I no longer go to the movies because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS when I sit down.
I no longer go to malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a huge phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan
THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up a coin dropped in the car park because it was probably placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin Spider and my hand will fall off.
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . .
Oh, and by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
P. S. I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.
NOW YOU HAVE YOURSELF A VERY GOOD DAY…
Honestly, I was just looking for this funny email to forward to a friend....
It is such a hoot!!
Thanks for the post!
what about these???
This e-mail will be tracked and Bill Gates will send you a check...I got a check for $24,935!!!
Or:
I am the executor of the estate for (insert name). You have been found to be the last surviving member of his (or her) family. There is $8,500,000 at stake here.
Please send me your bank routing number and account number so I can deposit these funds to your account.
Oh my gosh...WAY funny!!
I love the serial killer/gas station one...since it has truly made me look around constantly while pumping gas.
How about a similar one....always look in your back seat before getting in your car, especially in a parking garage.
One on fb pi**ed me off the other day. It was something like " if this little girl, who needs a new _____transplant, gets (#) of "likes", it'll be done for free.". It's so untrue, yet people still "like" it. :(
Oh my goodness, your post is hilarious!!!!
LOL
I love this one - I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!! Now, could you explain this to my mother?
Oh yes, I hate them, specially those that tells me to pass it to x amount of friends or everything would be awful.
Not only I don't have x amount of friends to pass it (which I am not evil either to send them) which it makes me depress, but then I think what if, yes, I know, is STUPID to even think about it which it makes me then mad to even think about it.
I have to confess, it was a time when I was selling stuff on craigslist, and I had a bunch of people who would tell me they would buy the stuff and never came, so for once I did had a x amount of people to send one of those e-mails I got, muahahaha!
PS: I get those e-mails from my sister, which is 16, I don't like them but I haven't had the heart to tell her to stop, got to love her!
LOL--good summary!
Also a side note--lots of those emails are viral and that depends on you forwarding them on! Just delete and *poof* no more annoyance! Ah--if only it was that easy in real life!?
Hahaha.
Thanks I needed a laugh today! : )