Geez, I spent several minutes just trying to figure out the right words for the subject...My son turns 8 in June and he seems to be curious about women and men. Ever since he turned 3 I really encouraged us all to be more modest about ourselves in an effort for him to understand more about 'private parts' and our mutual respect for each others space when changing clothes, shower time, etc. I mean, this was all in an effort to help him understand more about strangers too and right and wrong touches, etc. I think this somehow made him wonder more about what the big deal is. I frankly would like to just hide my head in the dirt but know that that's not an option in my efforts to be a halfway decent parent. There must be some good books out there that are age appropriate to help him and us (my hubby and me) really make this all not a big deal...you know, we're different, we respect each other, our space, it's how God created us...etc., etc., etc., Help? Anybody?
R.:
It's totally nature for a child to wonder about their (and everyone else's) private parts. You always want your child to come to you with questions, so be calm and open about it. As far as "the right words", just use the real terminology for body parts. "What's the Big Secret" and "My Body is Private", are both good books for his age group.
OK, We live in a very small house with one bathroom. since my kids were little I was very straight with them. Tell them straight up. Dont let anyone touch your privates. etc. My kids know about everything. I started telling my girls about MY period when they were young. I even told my son. He is going to be married someday. Curiousity Killed the cat. Yaknow. At 8 he should be talked to frankly. Puberty started around 8. it did with my son. He is now 13 and likes girls but doesnot hold hands or kiss them. He sees his mom and dad kiss and nothing. I think you should just be open. I still change in front of my kids and so does my husband. Modesty is not an option in our house. too small. no locks on doors. etc. Just my two cents.
R.,
Im sorry I don't know about any great books but you can do this. Kids want to know all kinds of stuff. And usually in our minds we make it way more complicated than what they really want to know. Just answer each question in as short a form as possible.
Boys and Girls are made different because God made it that way. Boys can stand to go to the bathroom and Girls can't.
The funniest example I just saw concerning this is:
Danny comes running into the house to his grandmother and says "Grandma what's it called when two people sleep on top of each other in the same room?"
Grandma decides it's better not to lie to children so she will just be honest and Grandma says "Well Danny that is called Sexual Intercourse."
Danny says "ok thanks and runs outside to play."
A little while later Danny comes running back into the house and says in disgust "Grandma that is not what it's called. It's called Bunk Beds. And Billy's mom wants to see you right away!"
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Sometimes kids will shock us with something that they know. Usually someone at school said something so your kids come home with half the story but really won't know the exacts of anything. We should however be the ones to share with them what they want to know. Because if you avoid these questions they will ask someone else. Be honest, just give them what you can to answer the question as best as you feel comfortable but answer the question. Then if they ask another question do the same thing.
My kids are 17 and 18 the only thing I didn't answer was personal info about myself. When did you? Did you? etc...
That is none of their business and they WILL use it against you. You may mess up once in awhile - we all do. Pray about it.
I'm sure there are books out there. We had a great book when we were in 6th grade. My kids school does the talk in 5th grade I think.
God Bless you,
L.
There is a book called "Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle" (there is also one for girls) that you read the first part and then go thru the second part with your child. You can customize the book to the age of your son and let him learn what you feel he is ready to learn. We have gone thru it with our girls and it has helped them a lot. Good luck and God Bless.
