Drama - Carpentersville,IL

adrenaline is addictive. it's also avoidable. watch for the ones who say loudest how much they hate it.
khairete
S.

Some people, moms, dads, kids, singles love drama and make sure it's in their lives all the time. Others of us work at eliminating drama. Then there are those of us who end up with drama anyway because someone who loves drama is in our lives.

There is a fair amount of drama on Mamapedia. Some of it is obviously self created. Some of it happens due to circumstances. Some of it is preventable and some of it isn't. I see life as the opportunity to learn how to live without so much drama. I had more drama in my life as a youth and as I matured I found ways to avoid it. Drama still sneaks in once in awhile. lol

I could write an essay on drama. Saw it big time in my job as a police officer. Experienced it in my personal life until I recognized it for what it is, drama, and not the way I wanted to live.

Birds of a feather flock together. I'd have to say the majority of my friends did not and do not have a lot of drama in their lives, we are a pretty mellow down to earth group.

I think it depends on the group. I tried two first-time mom support groups and it was like night and day. One was gossipy and critical. The other was a group of moms who just wanted the support and camaraderie that comes with sharing a very intense experience. Even now the friends I made are pretty darn cool - they are positive and genuinely nice people.

But, I've got to say, I had to sift through some flakey and insecure (because that's the root of gossip) people. Its a learning process and sometimes I would get frustrated and vent. I'm always on the lookout for new friends and what I've also discovered is that the people who are a little reserved end up being the coolest people once I spend more time with them.

This is a side note and I hope people don't take offense but I've also noticed that cool moms also tend to have courteous and cool kids. So I sometimes consider the child when looking at the mom (not just for the mom's personality but also the child's compatibility/influence on my child).

What do you mean?
Here on MamaPedia or in daily life or with Moms of school age children?

Personally, I don't get or have 'drama' from other Moms/my friends. They are not "drama" types.
I don't make friends with "Drama" types.
Too high maintenance and mentally not healthy.

I thought it was between mothers and mothers-in-law. :^)

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Oh my gosh! Ok, so most of my friends are very normal, I have been friends with them forever and we have never had any problems. I am SO naive and thought once you are a grown woman, you act like it and just gave everyone the benefit of a doubt. I recently got closer last year with an acquaintance of mine (Shes actually the SIL of one of my good friends) our girls are the same age and going to the same school. This woman, lets call her "Kelly" had expressed a lot of interest in us hanging out. She is 6 years older than me. I hung out with her and her friends and they are the most immature replusive people I have ever met. They have nothing good to say about anyone, its ALL gossip, trash talk, its horrible! They were like vultures when it came to talking bad about people. Their lives literally are based on drama. I even found out they were talking bad about me. WTH?? Shes the one that wanted to get closer and talks bad about me??
I cannot believe grown woman act like this. Its so sad. I actually feel bad about how miserable they are with themselves that they have to act this way. I was very disappointed.

Oh, my gosh...yes.I agree with the other moms here that you have to avoid the drama queens. In my neck of the woods we definitely have some prima donnas who are, to say the least, unfriendly and exclusive and gossipy. I try to ignore them and don't even try to deal with them at all.
But there are also good people as well. It's sad that you have to try so hard to find the really nice ones, but they are there.

I'm kind of with Susan on this one. I don't understand the purpose of keeping 'drama people' in one's life as friends. I do have a fair amount of family drama at some times or others, but I choose not to seek it out in my friendships, especially those with other moms, where our connection is more about the kids than another common interest to bond over.

I've found that I tend to drop the 'drama friends' pretty quickly. As for moms, I know where my sore spots are, and I'm not inclined to go there. So I don't tend to hang out with moms that I know are going to push my buttons (radically different parenting, for example), because there are plenty that I get on with just fine. This is different, too, from being supportive of a friend who has something dramatic going on in their life, but mostly the moms I know and like are pretty grounded. If something bugs them, they have the skills to approach it in a problem-solving way, proactively, and I appreciate it. There are still differences in personalities and approaches to parenting, but if I am smart enough not to take it personally-- to know that's just 'them' being themselves and that their parenting is what works for them-- it really works out well and we can all be respectful to each other.

YES! I had a good MOPS group that was NOT this way and I miss it. Whenever I see the leaders, I thank them for working so hard to make it inclusive and welcoming to me.

I belong to a parents' organization at school that has many moms who have run to the princiapl telling on others. The most common crime? "She signed up to do x and I said last year I wanted to do x again so I should not have had to sign up and I didn't l. I want to do x." Or "I suggested x and the group voted y, but I think x is the right way." They also do things to exclude people they don't know because "We are more comfortable working with moms we know and we don't like drama!."

I questioned if they had my correct email because I was not told about something that I signed up for and a chain of emails were sent to others asking why I was asking. Several moms I have become friends with told me I really upset them. I reminded them I asked a question and could show them the email. They already saw it!

The people who "don't like drama or mean girls" are the ones acting like mean girls and causing drama. It is really something I would never have believed if I read about it beforehand. And most of us are over 30.

I do not choose to be friends with these people. I choose to volunteer at the school and they are there every chance they can be. I became M. friends with several because we needed to get information and the room moms were not letting everyone know. We also needed to feel like someone had our back. This is elementary school, not the real housewives. Two of the officers even begged me to come to the meeting and to stand up for something so the others would not get mad at them. They are that hard to work with. And these women work PROFESSIONAL jobs that require at least a Bachelor's degree.

That's why some of my friends are guys!!