My toddler daughter just received a doll for her birthday and is totally attached to it. We love seeing her make this new connection, but the doll is caucasian with blue eyes and our daughter is biracial, half black. We would like her to have a doll that looks more like her and are wondering how important this is at such a young age. We tried buying other African American dolls, but she still clings to this one. Should we just let her have it? I thought about trying to "tint" the doll's skin with tea or something. Problem is that most of the black dolls are much darker than she is anyway. I'm totally open to ideas, but don't have that much of this experience from my own childhood. From what I hear from my husband and the dolls I see his sister and mother collecting, I do think it's different for black children. It may be more important to have that representation early on. What do we do? We are also going to a family event this weekend with many of my husband's family (much older set) and I am wondering if seeing her carry a white doll may rub some the wrong way.
Thanks everyone for your great suggestions. I appreciate that everyone was very supportive and respectful of my concerns. That doesn't always happen! I should clarify that I am not Caucasian, but this doesn't change the situation. I did also ask my SIL and she said the same thing, that it's not that big of a deal. I think it worries my husband more, so I guess I became concerned about it after speaking with him about it. I had mostly white dolls when I was young and feel happy with who I am today, but I wasn't always, so I didn't want to use my experience as an example. All in all, I appreciate the reassurance that this is okay and thank Mamapedia for a place to get advice! I'll go with the majority here and take everyone's advice and try to just continue to expose her to different backgrounds. Thanks for the other doll company tips too!
I don't think you should take it away. Why does it have to look like her?
I think if you take the doll away and give her one that's "racially correct" you will be stressing racial differences.
This website has some cute dolls: http://www.sleepysoft.com/site/480020/page/536565
I have to tell you I have a caucasion daughter w blue eyes and her favorite baby doll is a black baby doll that a friend's daughter passed on to her :)
Good luck finding a good dolly!
if she doesn't see the difference between you and her dad than why should you!! you are the one trying to change the way she sees herself. and if the family can't handle that she likes a doll than they don't have to loo at her!!!
This is only an opinion........
I am not trying to remove your concern, and I am no expert, but it makes no sense to me to take the doll away. Your partner is not the same race as you are so isn't the lesson to love everyone? Yes, I think it is great you are going to be sure your daughter gets a bi-racial doll too, but you choose for love. Let her choose that way too.........whatever color.
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My granddaughter is asian and white. My DIL and If have been looking for an asian doll with brown hair rather than black hair and havent found one. Boy, it would be a great market to be in right now since there are so many biracial kids. HINT HINT--- someone take this idea and RUN with it!
I don't really think its all that important to have a dolly that looks like you tho... I think it's more of a "mom" thing to get them that way for their daughters. I doubt there would be any ill effects if your daughter played with all white or all black dolls. I had all sorts of barbies with every hair color and never had a "favorite" of that group. I do recall that my sister always had blond baby dolls and mine always had brown hair now that I think back on it..... but I didnt make that particular decision ;) it was only a way to distinguish which dolly was whose back then I think.
We got a catalog the other day for "twin dolls". You pick a skin shade, hair color, eye color, include a photo of your child and they send you a doll who looks just like them. I didn't keep the catalog (a little soon for my children) but I bet you could google twin doll and find it. As for having a doll of the wrong ethnicity, I carried an african american doll around every where I went when I was little and no one (back then, 35 years ago) thought anything of it. I think if people have a problem with something like that they really need to get a life. lol
P.S. I did the search for you, here you go...http://www.mytwinn.com/
Lakeshore Learning and other teacher supply catalogs carry real biracial dolls. It is almost impossible to find an ethnic doll that looks biracial except at these stores. They are made to last.
As a teacher, I always provided dolls representing all races. It bothered me when the white dolls were picked most so I made sure to let the kids see me playing with different dolls for a minute or two.
She might be a little young for them now, not to mention that they and all their accessories are ridiculously expensive, but American Girls offers dolls that you can customize with skin color, hair color, eye color, etc. to "match" your daughter. But I agree with many others on here that I wouldn't read too much into her preference for the doll she has now. She identifies with it and finds it appealing for whatever reason and trying to steer her away from it or showing your disapproval may make her feel like you don't approve of her or her choices. She may be half black, but she is half white too, and has white relatives from your husband's side of the family. It is still part of her identity. I can understand the sensitivity surrounding this issue, but don't let it swing the other way and make her "deny" or not fully embrace any part of herself. I wouldn't worry about what anyone thinks - this is your daughter and she needs to know her mommy will always support her. You can also talk to your hubby about this and see what he says and what he thinks his family will think.
Look at LakeshoreLearning. com Mom. It a great educational toy and teacher store, you can one if there is not this store in your area. They have different multi-racial dolls and baby dolls that are just what you are looking for. Our preschool has a number of their baby dolls in many different skin tones and they are well loved. Hope this helps.
I think that nowadays, there is so much variety in dolls and how they look, that to me, the idea of matching a doll to look like your child to support her self-image is a little outdated. I mean, I totally get it, I am guessing that you are a child of the 80's or early '90's and back then, it was actually not that easy to get dolls that were not Caucasian, and that did send a negative message to all non-white children. But, I would like to think that as a society we are beyond this level of categorization, and that we can teach our children to love her dollies because they are representations of human beings, not representations of a particular race or ethnicity. I think it is wonderful that your daughter has a dolly "BFF" -- that shows me her self-image is already robust, healthy, and intact. You can augment this by introducing a variety of doll looks, faces, sizes, and colors. Currently, I hear Barbie has come out with a more extensive line of brown-skinned dolls in various shades. I saw it online, so you may want to check it out if you want.
My daughter (she's 3.5 years old) is very attached to a doll she named Baby Claire. She's blonde, blue eyes, and very caucasian. I'm latina and my husband is Caucasian. I don't think it's a big deal. To them at such a young age don't see the different in the color or the way the doll looks. To them it's a doll they love. Now that she also plays with Barbies I try to tell people not to just get her the blonde barbie. She needs variety.
You have some good suggestions here. Another might be to provide her, over time, with various dolls that show various racial backgrounds.
If members of your husband's family say anything about the doll she has now, just tell them that this doll is your daughter's friend at the present time. Then mention to them what you've mentioned here, and they might have some good suggestions as well.
When I was a little girl I had 2 favorite dolls; one was a Raggedy Ann and one my mom made me for my birthday. Of course, Ann is a red-head and the doll my mom made had blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm hispanic and have brown hair and green eyes. I loved the dolls b/c they were gifts from two people I loved dearly, not b/c of what they looked like.
I am making my daughter a doll like the one my mom made me for her first Christmas this year, and it will have my daughter's brown hair and green eyes, just because I think it will fun to have a doll that resembles her. But I hope she loves it b/c mommy made it for her, not b/c of what it looks like.
If you want to have a custom doll made that more closely resembles her skin tone, hair color, etc, you can go to Etsy.com. There are lots of folks that make dolls and you can request a custom doll, even send her pic to the crafter, and most of them are very reasonably priced.
I don't mean this to sound racist - and I hope it doesn't, but when I was a little girl (I am 36) we had doll's in the U.K called golliwogs - they were black dollies, with afro hair - pretty much everyone had one, and I loved my golliwog to bits - literally - I never even once thought of it being a different race to me.
I think let her carry her white doll with pride, all dollies are the same under the plastic LOL!
Wow, does it really matter what the color of her doll is? Isn't she doing exactly what we are trying to teach our children? Don't worry about it. My daughter's favorite doll was an African American doll she picked out herself. We are caucasian. She took it everywhere. It pretty much was the only doll she played with except for her Asian doll. Even my oldest daughter's favorite doll did not look like her. It was a white and pink rag doll that she still has today and she will be 21 years old soon. The color of the doll only will mean something if you make it mean something. Let her be a kid and enjoy her doll.
For what it's worth, I am white as are my children. My aunt made me a black baby doll when I was young and I loved it to pieces - litterally. My older daughter was attached to a black barbie doll. And my youngest daughter had a black doll she loved. I don't see anything wrong with it.
I'm the same as your daughter. Half black, Half white.
Honestly I wouldn't make it a big deal. Let her keep her favorite doll.
It shouldn't rub them the wrong way.
I know it didn't with my grandparents.
Just had to answer this because it made me think of when I was a little 4 year old. My baby brother was just born, so my Grandmother gave my Dad $$ and told him to take me to Toys R us, and have me pick out a baby doll. She said since my Mom would be bringing home a baby doll I should be bringing one home as well.
Off we went to Toys R Us, and I found a baby doll that was a black baby doll. I am Latin, my Grandma is Puerto Rican and (was racist at the time- until her daughter married a black man, and her other daughter married a white woman :) funny how things work out. Anyway, my Grandmother had a heart attack her cute little grandaughter carrying around a black baby (with no clothes, my choice haha).. She said to my Dad couldn't you have chosen a different baby. He said I tried giving her the same doll but white and I wouldn't have it. I don't know where that doll is now and i don't even remember caring what color skin it was so i dont think it really matters now or later. Baby dolls are baby dolls and maybe it would be good to get her a variety of dolls to show as the united states we are all different colors, shapes and sizes :)
