My daughter turned 3 in August. She's been sleeping in her room for the last few months without any problems. Now, all of a sudden, she doesn't want to sleep alone. She has also stated that her stuffed animals are fake, and she wants to sleep with someone real. Last night my husband was ready to let her sleep in my sons room (15months). I said there is no way I'm ruining his sleep habits.
What do you do? She says she's scared. I don't blame her, her room is upstairs and down the hall (ours is downstairs). We have a monitor in her room, so we come right away when she yells for us. She has a nightlight. I think I'm going to buy a small lamp for next to her bed. Not sure if that'll be enough though. Plus, I don't want this lamp being left on all the time. I finally laid down with her last night till she fell asleep,but then she was just scared when she woke up. She did mention that she was scared of a shark on a cartoon she recently watched, so no more of that one. Thanks for any tips. We really don't want her back in our bedroom (we'd made a small bed on the floor for her previously).
Sounds very normal - imaginations of preschoolers run wild, especially at night. Please do what you can to comfort. Sounds like she's too far from you at this point. This may go on for months, so come up with solutions you can all live with. Putting the kids together is the one I'd try at this point. Worth a try.
i kind of think you are allowing your feelings about her being so far away to cloud the issue. deal with the fears ("monster spray" worked for my son) but if you allow it, she'll never sleep in her bed. you'll have to put your foot down for that to happen.
My advise is to ride it out. She's going to complain for a while, but she'll learn to sleep alone. If you go in and lay down with her every night soon she won't sleep unless you do that and you'll have a new habit to break. This is probably a jealousy thing with the baby, wanting some special time with mommy and daddy. See if you can do some special bedtime ritual, stories, bath, painting nails.... This won't solve her sleep issues immediately, but it will build her confidence.
Kids are manipulative, they want what they want now. They are testing boundaries and learning what mom and dad will cave in for. This is part of parenting, teaching them to be independent and not need you all the time. I know kids who've been in mom and dad's bed or room for YEARS. Don't go down that road, it just gets harder as they get older.
Best wishes!
Unfounded or not, she's scared. Unreasonable or not, she's still scared. If you were scared, what would you want? Help her figure out a way not to be scared. She has a problem and you have an opportunity to show her that her parents are here for her and will help her with her problems. This can be one of many lessons to show her that her parents have wisdom she can rely on.
Dr. Sears teaches that kids can sleep together. You sleep with someone else. It's not all that odd. However look for other solutions and you will figure something out.
I don't have experience with this - yet... but something I saw once stuck with me, I thought it would be a good idea if I ever needed it. Take a spray bottle and fill it with water, add some natural scent, food coloring if you want it to look "pretty". You can tell her it is a special spray to keep monsters away (or, in her case, cartoon sharks). Spray it around her room, under her bed, in her closet at night. I thought this was a cute idea. My son is only 18 months, and so far is a great sleeper, so I really don't know if it works. When I saw it I thought it was a cute, cheap, and possibly effective way to curb their fears.
My boys (4 and 2 1/2) are feeling the same way at times. They sleep in the same room, so that helps ease some of the fears. But since that is not an option for you at this time (I completely understand about the sleep habits ~ I'm a big advocate in our house for SLEEP and good habits all around!)
What works for us:
-CD player with soft lullaby music
-air purifier for white noise
-night light
Could you try a glow worm doll?
Also, Amazon (and other places) sell a light up turtle nightlight that I have heard others rave about.
http://www.amazon.com/Cloud-Twilight-Constellation-Night-...
Hope something works, and soon!
We have been having the same issue with my son who is almost 3, these are the things that seem to work for us. We have a ladybug that shines stars on the ceiling in my son's room, it sits at the end of the bed. When he wakes up scared he usually pushes the button to turn it back on (it shuts off automatically). We also have a lullaby cd that plays for him if he asks, he says it makes him feel better. Finally he has his special stuffed animal that he cuddles with when he is scared, it seems to help. Good Luck!
The Glomate is awesome. Let's kids take their nightlight to bed with them, and it's completely safe. Not sure if this will help, but it did for my son who was scared of the dark- we told my son that "Glowbuddy" chases away the dark and other spookies. It's a little pricey, but worth it for us. There is a battery powered version that is cheaper that you can get at Walmart in the baby section if you want to give it a try.
http://www.amazon.com/MOBI-70175-TykeLight-Portable-GloMa...
Hi, I was glad to see your post. My 3.5 year old son has 3 night lights AND a closet light, but he still gets scared. If you're worried about leaving the light on, you can replace the bulb with a energy efficient type bulb, so it takes less energy. We did that with his closet light. We leave his door open a crack, too. My son says the exact same thing: "He wants real ppl" to sleep with him. My 3.5 year old son has been waking every single night since August -- sometimes 2-3x a night. It's been about 3 months of this non-stop pretty much. It's been so exhausting. My hubby and I take turns talking to him and holding him to calm him down. We are very firm about him going back to sleep on his own though. Usually, after talking to him about other things to distract him (what we're doing tommorow, what fun he had that day, etc.) for about 10 min, he'll calm down enough to go back to sleep. We try to promise him a reward the next day (a piece of chocolate) if he'll be a big boy and stay in his room. It's rough when he comes to our room and pounds on the door crying in the middle of the night, but I have to comfort myself that this stage will pass one day, and he won't always be this way. I read some posts on the internet where you can get a fish tank or a fish bowl, so the child feels like "someone" is in the room with him. Has anyone tried this? I'm open to suggestions, too.
i think she's just wanting back in mom and dads room. kids will use "i'm scared" tatic to get back in bed with mom and dad (my daughter tries all the time). When my daughter tells me something is going on in her room that scares her, i'll go lay down with her and see what the problem is and fix it or tell her what is causing the shadow's, or whatever. got to tell this story, one night she came into my room crying aligator tears because something is making a knocking noice tried hollaring for me, but was too scared to really call for me where i could hear her (my step daughter's just told her a scary story earlier that day...so i'm sure she was really scared) so i went in and sat on the bed, turned out the light, and listened, and surely enough a knocking noice, so i got up, turned on the light, listened and watched some more, come to find out, her standing fan in her room was turning just right to jently blow her hanging calendar against the wall...yeah that would've scared me to, she laughed and said...that scared me mom thank you for fixing that....so cute!
When my oldest turned 3 thats when nightmares started and she wouldnt sleep alone either, so she would sleep on the floor in our room. Then when our second turned 3 she started getting scared too. so for awhile we put her in bed with her big sis and they would sleep together. After a few weeks we decided for them to share a room. and now everything is fine. She may not ruin your sons sleep habits you can try it out. but i believe it is just a phase that most kids go through at that age.
I know how you feel. My daughter is 4.5 and she still gets scared at night on occasion. Our room is downstairs and the kids' rooms are upstairs too.
She's 3 and for her the fears are very real. I understand how having her come into your room again would feel like a step backwards. But, unfortunately she's scared and needs the reassurance. Our daughter has gone through phases like this too. Forcing her to stay in her room awake and scared would make things worse for our daughter. She's an anxious sensitive kid. Our approach was to let her come into our room and downplay the fears. We don't ignore them completely, but we try not to make a big deal. When she was about 3 we allowed her to come down the stairs herself (we have a nightlight so she can see). As long as she doesn't wake us, she can come into our room and sleep at the foot of our bed. We still leave a blanket and pillow there. Honestly, we don't care where she's sleeping as long as we're not being woken up. She's never been a good sleeper and several years of broken sleep has led to an attitude of "do whatever gets everyone the most sleep." lol Anyway, we've had months where we wake to an extra sleeper in our bed every morning and weeks where she stays in her room. As long as we're all sleeping at night, we're happy though. Try to be patient and compassionate because when she's feeling secure, I'm sure she'll go back to sleeping in her room all night. Good luck!
