How Do I Get My 3Yrs Old Daughter to Sleep in Her Own Bed??????

I know of one family who used a spray bottle full of "WATER", but labeled "NO MORE MONSTERS". And they would spray the monster solution in the closet, under the bed, wherever the monsters might be hiding. It worked for them.

"Monster Spray" does wonders for my son. I bought a spray bottle in the 99 cent section at Target and then added a little linen spray to water and shook it up. It's not as potent as air freshener and safe for fabrics and leaves a light scent that "monsters don't like". We spray every night, he tells me where we have to spray, some nights it's under the bed other nights it's certain corners of the room and other nights it's his blankets. Who knows how their imaginations work?!?

Get an empty aersol bottle. Make a big printed label "monster spray". Last place the label on a piece of construction paper that fits properly around the empty aersol can. At night get the monster spray and spray the room saying monsters be gone.

"Monster spray" did wonders for us too, gave him a tool to control the situation should it arise. ;) I also put a small table lamp in my son's room with a blue party light bulb. It is less 'visible' to the closed eye than white light but it did light up the room nicely so he could do his "monster checks" in the middle of the night. He is 9 yrs old now but we still do the pallet on the floor "sleep over" in my room every Friday.

So, give her a day she is allowed to have "sleep over" in your room, show her the pallet you plan on setting out for that night (don't leave it set up - that's an open invitation), but get her a "monster" spray bottle and the blue light for her room for the other nights.

It's a fairly short phase, but can be very trying! Good luck!

This is a hard one. They imagine so many things.

1. Have her choose a stuffed animal to sleep with her. Go out to Build a bear and make a new one.

2. Kiss her goodnight 2 times. Once when you tuck her in and then go back a few minutes later to let her know it is O.K. and that you are still in the house.

3. Reward her the next day. (favorite food, day at the park, ice cream)

4. I read this one in a magazine. Give her only 2-3 chances to get up. Put three objects in her room. a ribbon with three clothespins on it. Everytime she gets up, she has to give you the clothespins. She only has three times to get up. The last time she has to stay in. Wean her each week of clothespins until you don't have to use it anymore.

She can get up to give you a hug-she brings you a clothespin
2.she gets up to use the restroom
3-she gets up to get a drink of water

no more clothespins-goodnight

Hope these help. My daughter is 5 and she came to our bed at 4:30 last night. She is still asleep and I am awake with an aching back- I understand.

We instituted a reward system for our 2 1/2 yr old daughter for staying in bed. I found a basket and got healthy goodies that she could have in the AM and showed her the basket. We wanted to have something she could actually visualize and something that she would value. Things in the basket included juice boxes, gummy bears and lolipops that look like candy but are actually vitamins, etc. The first few nights, we kept reinforcing the special basket all evening and right before bed and we also showed it to her again. The first night it worked like a charm and of course as soon as she opened her eyes in the morning she asked for her special treat !!! It's been working ever since :)

k

I was curious to what your responses were...I see LOTS of Monster Spray. I think this is a BAD idea. WHY? It enforces the idea or thought that there possibly could be monsters. Tell her firmly and directly, no such thing, Mommy and Daddy are here to protect you from everything else, we will leave you light on, sleep with a special object (whatever that may be for her), and it is bedtime. Pick a routine and stick with it. Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child is the best ever in ANY sleep situation at any age. Be honest, don't encourage, don't make little of her very real fear, keep it short and simple. When she comes to your bed at midnight simply walk her back to her bed, this is where big girls sleep, you are a big girl, we love you, goodnight. If it takes 100 times one night then so be it, she will learn. I walked my oldest back to bed 153 times one night! Next night 72, next night 30 and the next night 4, then it was peaceful sleeping. Good luck and this too shall pass. Be consistent.

I am in the same boat with Sally B! My daughter will be 4 in July. From Jan 2006 to June 2006 my daughter slept through the night in her crib. She got sick in June and that has been the last time she has done it. I have a gate that separates her room from mine. I try not to get out of bed but tell her to go back to her room and go to sleep. She has a Barbie Butterfly that she has had for over 5 months sitting in the living room new in the box. She knows that if she sleeps all night in her bed for seven nights in a row then she gets the Barbie. Yeah, it's still in the box. We never co-slept or anything like that. She's not scared of anything (though I feel like it would be a lot easier if she was!) she just for some reason doesn't sleep through the night. She gets up a minimum of twice a night. The only time I get a full nights sleep is if she spends the night with grandparents or her friend. These ladies seem to have some terrific ideas for the "monster" problem and I hope you find one that works for you! Good luck!

Don't know if it will help, but we made "magic spray" - I didn't want to call it 'monster spray' because I thought that would be admitting they were there - know what I mean? We would spray it before bedtime and say something like 'magic spray, magic spray keep the bad dreams away ~ here's to happy thoughts and good dreams'
We put it by their beds so they could spray it if they felt uneasy throughout the night - it worked.
Its at least worth a try!
Good luck!
I would recommend a 'recipe', but I did two diff ones without the best of luck - glitter in water clogged the sprayer and then the cut up sparkly pipe cleaners molded quickly in the bottle - actually need a new recipe!

I know a lady who re-labeled a bottle of room freshener spray as monster spray -- with a picture of a dead monster on it -- and sprayed it under the bed and in the closet every night when her children went to bed. Then the child could keep it on the night stand to keep away the monsters who could potentially visit in the night.

It worked at her house -- maybe it will work for you.
A.

My 4 year old sleeps with the lights on in her room every night. I could never sleep that way, but she feels so much safer-- I don't know if that would help or not, but it might get rid of your shadows!
Good luck!
A.

We had the same problem with our daughter when she was that age. I don't really believe in bribing, but we were desperate so we bought her a cross necklace and said she could wear it if she slept in her own bed. Fortunately, it worked. You could choose anything you think she might like.

my friend told her daughter that montors are very afraid of bubbles- so every night they blew bubbles to get rid of monsters- then one night she didn't need to do that anymore.

My son Jax did the same thing! We tried everything and had the same problems. I finally bought a bed side lamp and a "stained glass" lightbulb from Target. The lightbulb has different colors and is only 25 watts. We left it on all night for a few weeks. Now, either my husband or myself turns it off in the middle of the night. Good luck! I know how stressful it can be on you.

I have a 3 yr old and she is doing the same exact thing so maybe it is just a phase? I lay down beside her bed every night and usually end up asleep before she does and it's killing me as well. lol My boss suggested a small fan to help block out the house noises she may be hearing and I plan to try that, though I don't think it will help the situation. Sorry I have no ideas. I just wanted to tell you that you aren't alone.

If you can get her to sleep in her bed all night and want that advice as well. I have a almost 6 year old that hasn't slept a full night in his bed since he could walk. We've tried everything I can think of such as putting a thing on the inside of his room to prevent him from opening his door and the only person it prevented from opening the door was me. We slept in his room for 20 something days to try to "break the habit" and the next day he was back in our room. We bought him a cool new bed and that didn't work. He goes to sleep with my 7 year daughter and still comes in our room later in the night. I wear him out before we go to bed by having him swim or run around right before we go to bed thinking that if he's REAL tired he'll stay in bed. Anyway, stop it now if possible. Good luck.
S.

We went to the store and let him pick out his "safe puppy". We tried monster spray and it didn't work for us, but he is still convinced that his safe puppy guards his room and keeps the monsters away while he sleeps. You more you get in bed with him, the worse it is. I did this for awhile and when I was about to have baby #2 I knew that I had to put a stop to it. I told him that EVERYONE sleeps in their OWN bed in their OWN room. You have to be firm and stick to your guns. Expect the first week to be rough, but after that, you get your bed and your life back! Unfortuanately, I was pregnant at the time so I was stills leep deprived, but dealing with one at night was much easier than two! Good luck!

I really like the suggestions of the magic spray or mailing the monsters to someone who will get rid of them. Doing something physical to remove the monster will most likely reassure your daughter.
Also go easy on the TV, especially before bedtime. Almost all cartoons and even Disney movies (or books based on Disney movies) have scary sequences that can be really upsetting. I remember being afraid because of certain scenes in Pinochio when I was a child - and those where pretty tame back in the day! ;-)

Sleep fairy? If she sleeps in her bed all night - She'll find a small gift under her pillow. (trinkets type gifts)

How funny that you ask this my daugther is 3 and is use to having her 2 sisters around all the time. They are at grandmas for a couple of weeks for summer break. When we got back and she was alone she freaked out she did not want to sleep in her room alone, she told me that monsters where going to get her. I explained to her that monsters where not real. I noticed that she still had a sense of fear so I put a night light on and had her get this night time Dora (she sings to go to bed) that she loves. I reassured her that monsters are not real, she sang with Dora for a few minutes said goodnite cause Dora said so and feel right to sleep. I think that giving her something to make her feel comfortable, something like a security blanket for them, will help. Since then I have had no problem when I say its bedtime she quickly runs to first turn on the nightlight, then gets Dora and hops in bed. In the morning I tell her what a big girl she was for sleeping in her BIG bed and by herself!!! Hope that this helps you and your daugther sleep better!!!

We had a similar problem with my daughter. I bought a can of purple (a favorite color) Lysol and relabeled it "Monster Spray". I sprayed it under the bed and in the closet and wherever she wanted it at night. Not only did she sleep better, her room smelled great!

After a few weeks, I only got out the spray if she remembered and requested it and finally she forgot and I just put it away.

We just went through the same thing with our daughter transitioning her to a big girl bed. The first night was horrible. She too was afraid of monsters, so together we would check under the bed to confirm there were no monsters. I tried to talk to her about everything I could think of, but in the end what worked was talking to her about how proud of herself she would be the next morning when she woke up in her big girl bed. When I asked her if she wanted to be proud of herself she said she did... so she went to bed with a few more tears, but has woken up in her bed every morning since saying "Momma I'm so proud!"
Other things we have done is to get her ready for bed and then get her excited when we go to her room to read a favorite book before bedtime. Also, we keep the nightlight off. If you feel she needs it for her safety when she gets up, you could maybe leave one in the hallway instead.
Lastly, I used to watch all those Supernanny/Nanny 911 shows, and they would tell the parents to put the child back in bed without saying a word, everytime they got up. Finally the child would stop getting out of bed.
Good luck with your new transition!

R.,

We moved from Missouri to Texas in 2006. My son was 2 1/2 and we lived with my Mom for 2 months before finding our home and moving in. This is a tender age. You've had a HUGE change of moving from one home and state to another. And then there's new people, new environments, everything is new! I'm sure your daughter is overwhelmed and trying to adjust and having a new big room can be a scary thing.

My son had difficulty adjusting too. He eventually came to like and love his room and bed. Consistency is key! And don't down play her fears because they are real to her. My son has a night light but he also found comfort (and still does) in having his closet light on and door cracked.

We also got him an alarm clock and told him that he was not to get out of his bed until he heard the music in the morning. When he obeyed, we praised him and celebrated reinforcing the good behavior.

I know it's frustrating but consistency, patience, and understanding that this is a lot for a little one are key to helping you through this period.

It'll get better!!! I wish you the best.

A. H.

My son used to be the same way. I got a spray bottle and filled it with water. I told him it was 'monster spray'. Every nite before bedtime, we would spray the threshold at the closet door, around his bed and at the bedroom door. I assurred him that this 'monster spray' was dangerous to monsters and they couldn't come in or cross where we had sprayed. The phase finally passed, but the 'monster spray' gave me many nites of peaceful sleep with him in his bed and me in mine. Good luck!

My almost 3-year old went through a phase of thinking that there were monsters in her room. We listened to her talk about the monsters and let her know that we understood that she was scared but that there really were not any monsters and no matter what we were there to protect and comfort her. She asked me every night if she could sleep in my bed but I did not let her. We told her that we could hear her through the monitor and if she needed us she could call us. The turning point seemed to be when we went to Babies R Us together and bought her a "Tyke Light." This little person-shaped light can be charged up and they can sleep with it in their bed. I showed my daughter how to turn it off and on and let her know that she was in control of it. We never said anything about the monsters. The first night she slept with it but never turned it on. After that she has NEVER said anything about being scared at night. I think it has been a few months. The Tyke Light is very safe and I have no concerns about her sleeping with it.

I work for a pediatrician that told me something she does the other day that I thought was a great idea. she had a child who was afraid in their own room from dreams and thinging there were monsters there. she told him to go home and put the monsters in an envelope and send them to her and she would get rid of them. You might try doing this and make like you are sending them to someone that she know and trusts and see how it goes. it's worth a try.

P.

we went through this with our 5-yr-old. we finally decided, after fighting a losing battle like you are, to tell her she's welcome to sleep in our room but must sleep on the floor. i kept blankets and a pillow beside our bed and had it ready for her each night. after about 4 months of this, when we felt like she was coming to our room more out of habit than fear, we started giving an incentive.....if she stayed in her own bed all night for three nights in a row, then we got to do something special. if she did it seven nights, then we did something even bigger. this kicked the habit pretty much. she was five, but it might work with a three-year-old too. good luck. i feel for you. ( :

I had a similar situation with my 4 year old son. I explained to him that when he woke me up in the night I wasn't getting the sleep I needed to be a good Mommie. Then I told him I would make him a pallet on the floor so if he needed to be in my room he could sleep there. He was not to wake me up, just crawl onto the pallet and sleep there until I was awake. He used it one time and has not been in my bed since. :)

Hope this helps!

L.

Leave the light on. Night lights are great for some, but like you say, it makes shadows. Play a soothing child music tape when she goes to bed, & like you are doing sit by her , read a story etc. And if she gets up in the middle of the night, gently walk her back in her room pat her, say mommy is right here, and hopefully within a few nights she will break the habit & all will be well. I know those few nights will be no sleep for you, but then after that you should get some sleep. And it really won't hurt to keep the light on all night. This helps for a child that is scared, from someone that knows first hand.

I just read some great SPECIFIC advice on that in "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". Try that book. :-)

We also recently moved here from Florida, what a coincidence! Our 3 year old daughter was also a little afraid of her new much bigger room. I have a white noise machine in there, as well as a nightlight that helped a lot. I also put a step stool in her room & told her if she gets afraid she can turn on her closet light. I have found a few mornings where she did do that herself. I think it made her feel empowered to do it herself instead of calling out for us. We also told her she could read books in her bed as long as she wanted, and this really helped as she usually falls asleep looking at her favorite books, and I think it gets her mind off being scared. There's enough light from her nightlight to see her books. Hope some of these suggestions help!