Does Facebook Ever Make You Feel Inadequate?

I agree with Lee Lee. Most people only post the good stuff whether real or imaginary. Don't confuse cyberspace with the real world.

Yeah, sometimes FB makes me feel bad. Like the other day when some friends (acquintances really) were posting about a little get together they were having. I guess I was just having a sad day, but I felt sort of bummed that I wasn't invited. And then I thought, no, that's not it, I don't know these folks really well. So then I decided I was sad MY friends didn't get together as often. I don't know. I guess I just wanted to say I know where you're coming from. I do agree with other posters who say "a lot of FB isn't real!!"

Occasionally - like last year on my birthday...NO ONE said happy birthday. NO ONE! I'm the last of eight children, mother of 4, wife of one, in a family with dozens and dozens of nieces and nephews, hundreds of friends on FB. But not a single one noticed it was my birthday, at least not on my FB wall.

Made me sad!

This reminds me of an unusual post that a friend of mine made on FB a few weeks ago. They were heading to an amusement park that was a 2 hour drive from their house and she chronicled how her husband had a short fuse during the drive, was criticizing her singing voice while she was trying to entertain the their two kids, the kids were super cranky, hubby was sullen all day, blah blah blah. It went on and on about how the day had gone, you know the REAL nitty gritty of everyday family life.

At first, I was totally shocked to read it. Totally. I mean, who posts the REAL sh*t in a public forum -- that's NOT anonymous??

I was reading the comments to her post, and her brother -- who I kind of know from some get togethers and who has a wickedly sarcastic personality -- chided her for letting it all hang out and wrote something like "Don't you know that you're only supposed to post about how wonderful your life is, how awesome your vacation is going, how darling your children are" etc. etc. etc. It was hilarious and soooo true!!

Anyway, I totally thought it was a breath of fresh air and she and her husband and kids are very good friends of ours so I know that they are absolutely fine in their relationship, etc. (but her husband WAS peeved that she publicly posted it)

Sooo ... next time you get down seeing all the "awesomeness" of your friends lives, just remember that you're seeing what they want you to see and most people don't post about the warts of everyday life! :)

I saw a friend post this the other day....

WELCOME TO FACEBOOK, the place where RELATIONSHIPS are perfect, LIARS believe they are telling the truth, & the WORLD shows off they are living a great life; where your ENEMIES are the ones that visit your profile the most, your FRIENDS & FAMILY block you; and even though you write what you are really thinking, someone takes it the wrong way. If you agree, post it on your wall..Too funny not to post!

My take on FB, the people who look or appear happiest, probably aren't. It's an image. It's a look at me, I am living the great life with my husband and kids. Reality goes more like this - my kids get on my damn nerves, I think my hubby is probably cheating on me right now, but I want to make sure that all of you out there know that I have the PERFECT life.

Do not feel bad! Be happy with your "normal" life. Most people have it a lot worse than they appear.

Nope! Jealous, sometimes, but not inadequate. This is the life I've chosen and worked for and I love it. It's not very exciting right now, but that's fine with me. I've had a lot of excitement, and I will again. (Ha! Apparently I'm in a great mood today, I'm not always so fatalistic.)

DO remember there are childless people looking at your perfect life in pictures and sobbing themselves to sleep wanting your 'boring' pictures. And there are people who DON'T live in CO who are thrilled at how interesting your 'normal' is.

I'll bet there are plenty of people in cool places who wish *they* had a perfect son to post pictures of :-). seriously - please let me put on my 'armchair sociologist' hat for a moment and offer a few observations of human nature:

1. it's a totally normal/common impulse to want others to think well of us (this, of course, has its totally useful/helpful purposes - it's one of the things that motivates us to be kind, polite, generous, etc.)

2. sometimes that impulse compels us to show only the "positive" sides of our lives (again, this *can* be a good thing in proper context - answering a polite "how are you" greeting with an extended discourse on all that's wrong in my life is usually *not* a good idea ;-))

3. When items 1 and 2 get a bit out of proportion, you end up with things like the oft-parodied Holiday Form Letters ("and our third child has just heard that his Eagle Scout project has him in the running for the Nobel Peace Prize....") and impossibly-idyllic Facebook images.

4. Even though part of our brain realizes that these public Facebook lives are not the whole story, it feeds into that fear that 1) we're not measuring up to what our peers are achieving; 2) the proverbial grass really IS greener on the proverbial "other side of the fence" (an example of this thinking, which I've posted before, is one that was provided by a speaker in a video that our church women's group watched a couple years ago - basically, she had us picture two women at a stop light - a SAHM in sweats, driving a minivan with noisy kids in the back, and a single businesswoman immaculately coiffed and dressed and driving a sporty sedan. The SAHM is looking at the businesswoman thinking how lucky she is to be independent, able to dress so nicely and have a car that isn't covered with melted crayons and cheerio crumbs, while the businesswoman is thinking will I ever find the right person and be able to have a family and it must be nice to be able to wear comfy clothes and not have to fuss so much over how you look.

My prescription for the inadequacy feelings? Remember that there are plenty of people living in cool places who, deep inside, would LOVE to be able to post 'dumb pictures of my perfect son'. Give that perfect son a hug and remind yourself that this is a season of your life where the time you spend with him is laying a foundation for his future, and that, in the long run, is of much more long term significance than vacation pictures from an exotic locale. We live in a culture that spends so much time and energy publicizing the glamorous, cool, flashy, trendy, etc., that it's easy to lose sight of the fact that most of the real *significant* stuff of life often looks dull and unglamorous by comparison. But really, the oft-overlooked task of devoting time and energy to nurturing kids - whether they be our own or ones that we coach, tutor, or help in any number of ways - will be a crucial influence on them just as it was for us. Think of the times we've heard an interview of someone who was recognized for an achievement of some sort - whether it be athletic, academic, or even in entertainment - more often than not they'll tell of a teacher, coach, parent, or other adult relative or neighbor who supported and encouraged them. How often have you heard someone say they were inspired by a supermodel or other celebrity?

YES!!!!
This is one of the many reasons I quit Facebook, years ago, and I am SO happy I did.
I had an account for about a year. Things that made me uneasy about FB:
I found myself clicking through picture after picture in my friends' albums and often feeling, like you said, inadequate. Couldn't help but compare myself to them, their homes, their kids, etc.
Similarly, looking at pictures of different events that I hadn't made it to would make me feel like I wasn't keeping in touch with my friends well enough.
OFten felt tempted to look up old boyfriends....then would realize that if I had that temptation, my husband must, too! Ew!
Worried that exes would show up as "friends of friends" in mine or my husband's account.
Noticed myself trying so hard to create the "perfect profile" with the most flattering pics of myself...creepy!
Added too many "friends" early on then realized I didn't really WANT most of these people seeing my pictures and posts!

So i quit...and I feel I have not missed out on anything since. My "real" friends could care less that I'm not on FB, they still call, email and invite me to gatherings sometimes with good old fashioned paper invitations!
My husband never got on in the first place.
I quit by the time we had DD and I am often glad for that because I know if we were on FB we would get a lot more pressure from our families about wanting to get together and see her.
Whenever I see a post on here about FB drama, I am SO glad I don't have an account......
If I were you I would erase your account. :)

Just remember life has different seasons.

Facebook... is just another name for "Keeping Up With The Jones'"

Bear that in mind.

It is a social network.
People have alter egos, online. They depict, what is 'more' than what they are. Some, just put on airs.
Some are just themselves.
It is an online vehicle or venue, to 'show off.'
That does not make the person, better than the other.
It is a 'bragging book' for many people.
Thus what you see online, is not 'real.'
It is an extension of a person's ego.
A person's Ego, does not make one better than the other. Some are just more adept at online depiction, of themselves.
It is, ego.

Why get caught up, in letting it... affect you?
It is just things to look at. Or some use it to then network for employment or jobs etc. Whatever.
Don't take it so seriously.
It is entertainment.
It is.... just people's lives who others look at from the outside. They are just vicariously living... looking at online lives.
No one KNOWS, that person's REAL life.
At all.
It is all just a FACADE.
And things, that describe a person's life. It is not, a definition of their life and that it is better than yours.
YOU are the one, that decides, who you are and you must have your own identity. NOT it being based on entertainment of displays on Facebook.

Whether online or not... comparing yourself to others, is not positive.
Be yourself.

I know EXACTLY what you mean. I am glad I no longer have my account. =)

And just like Nikki points out - most of these people you are reading about going on these wonderful vacas are in debt up to their eyeballs.

Whenever I am feeling like this, I go to my bank account and look at the savings I have been putting away. I get SO proud of myself for passing up that Michael Kors purse I have been dying to have, that new suit that I know would fit so much better than what I have on now, or that La Mer eye cream I am dying to try. No material thing is worth that satisfaction of showing my hubby how much I managed to NOT spend this month - now THAT is an addiction!

Also, I look at pics of my kids and think about the life they will have if I save that money instead of spend it on things like vacations and material stuff right now. It works!

Many of my childless friends who can actually afford to go on a vaca would trade having a baby for that Carribean cruise anyday.

Everytime you go to log on, ask yourself why, and why would you want to log on to something that is making you feel bad? That makes no sense. An addiction to something should make you feel GOOD - like my Starbucks. =) Don't do that to yourself. Stay off and do some happy research - like how to save money for that next HUMBLE and affordable vacation.

Facebook is for showing off and lying a lot of the time. People don't post the complete truth most of the time....and id have lovely pictures to post too if i weren't so busy having fun on my vacations.

My SIL just met a friend whom she has only known online through facebook at the airport on saturday. She was under the impression that this person was young, small, pretty and well spoken. This person turned out to be an overweight/middle aged/buck toothed video game addict.....she liked her just the same, but the point is that it was nothing that what is portrayed

'chuckle' You haven't read MY posts on FB! I 'mailed' library books by accident the other day 'cause the PO box was 4 feet in front of the book drop box and I was majorly distracted that day...and I posted it to my status! I also post a lot of pix of my Girl Scout troop 'cause they are awesome girls.

Maybe its just the folks you 'friended'. Do they give off that superior aura in person too? If their posts scream "look at me-aren't you jealous", friend folks that make you laugh at their craziness. Wanna friend me? wink wink!

No. don't compare yourself. Give yourself a break.
Step away from the computer. Ha ha :)
Don't compare yourself to anyone. Live your life, be happy and be loving to your kids!
There's a saying about comparing ourselves to others by "looking into their windows (like of their homes).......it's never an adequate picture. You never know what's going on in there!". It may LOOK picture perfect from the outside but it could be farther from the truth! Appreciate what YOU have and love it!
So be happy. Oh and get outside and move around a little: go for a walk or take the kids for an errand! Have a great day! :)

Sounds like it's time to back away from the mouse and take a facebook sabbatical. Please remember that many people post that which they wish the public to believe is true.

Personally, I'm on facebook (more than I should be some days) because we have moved so many times that my friends are across the country and around the world. And other than my high school acquaintances (we used facebook to plan the reunion, so I friended most of my graduating class), I've kept my friends list to people I actually want to keep up with. Most of them "keep it real" - we post about issues that matter to us (lots of breastfeeding, crafting, and education related posts) or about the daily craziness (who knew that you'd need to say the words "No spears at the table"?) My local friends use facebook as a social planning tool (We're having a clothing swap this evening, in fact.) Maybe it's time to edit your friends list. Keep the ones who you actually "talk to" on facebook. Ditch the ones who do nothing but make "plastic posts." And if you notice yourself mooning over the imaginary lives you wish you had, turn off the computer. There lies madness.

I tend to think people post the pictures they do, to make themselves look really fun and adventurous. But, I think the other 98% of their life is normal and just as boring as any other person! I know with a lot of my friends I laugh at their pictures and think, "I know you're not really like that!" Other friends, I know their marriages are crumbling, they are broke, they are sad, etc. No one is going to posts pictures of themselves being boring! You never know what they are really going through!

Yep, step away from facebook. It's not good for you, to spend that might time on it!!!

I guess I sometimes feel like that- it's not just facebook though, we all compare ourselves to others even though we know we shouldn't. I sometimes get down about not being able to do certain things because we absolutely do not use credit cards for ANYTHING (Dave Ramsey followers here). I see friends taking vacations and such things with their families, and it's hard to not get jealous, but then I remember- they will have a credit card bill waiting for them when they return! haha!

My in-laws are always going on elaborate vacations but then they gripe about not having any money. Hello??

No. Because *I* don't post my dirt. I'll keep it positive, post quick notes about fun/exciting/neat things in my life, put up interesting articles, etc. I don't say, "Today I did very little. I felt tired and anxious and like an inadequate mother. When Max got home, I started a fight. I am going to have a little cry in the shower now." Hah hah hah.

I do post photos, and if they are of my kids in my backyard, so be it. If they are of us in a cool location, great. I love my kids, and I like sharing about them. But I am giving a ONE sided front on facebook. Only the cool and the positive. I assume most people are doing the same.

It's *usually* not productive to compare my life to another person's, (ex. they have it better/worse than me. I am alone, they don't know what that feels like. They get to do way more amazing things!)

I do say, goodness, those photos of New York were amazing. Good for Amanda for picking up and moving there. Maybe I'll start looking into a trip. Or, Wow. My friends are touring in Europe right now. I used to play music and tour. I miss it. Maybe I should make a few phone calls and set up a "play"date.

And, some days I feel glum about my restrictions and about the lack of adventure in my life. That's okay. I get to feel sorry for myself. But, when I want to do something about it...that's when change happens for me ;-)

I love that you posted this! I see you have a ton of responses but had to share anyway. I feel the same, I would look at FB and see the fab things people are doing with their families. Specifically, I would see my sister's posts (she lives in another state). She posted pictures at the zoo, an apple orchard, etc. I was feeling inadequate because I thought she did such an amazing job with her kids. Then she came to visit. She laid on the couch the whole time and was on her phone- ironically doing FB and other games- while the kids watched tv. This was for days. I realized, yes she does those things, but maybe once a week or even two weeks. The rest of the time she does nothing. That cured me. I did realize though, that sometimes FB just makes me unhappy that way, so I've cut WAY down on checking status.

I'm feeling this today...but on the other side. I posted that I was tired because I've been cooking most of the day. (The actual post said "Making homemade hamburger buns, smoked pulled pork, apple pie, ice cream and slicing potatoes thin for potato chips...can anyone guess what we're having for dinner?")

I had a few friends say they were jealous and wish I didn't post pics of my baked goods and food all the time. I know they were just teasing, but I felt bad cause I never want my friends and family to think I'm better than them...I just want to show off my cooking!

I hope your day gets better hon! You're awesome just the way you are and don't need FB to make you feel adequate. Just give your perfect little man a hug and realize he thinks you're good enough! *hugs*

If I were you, I would step away from FB and the computer in general and go spend some time with your son doing something fun. That's what I would do if I started feeling like my life was boring. Go enjoy your day and take the opportunity to appreciate what you have, not what you don't.

oh certainly. I have lots of friends with no kids, or fewer kids. And by contrast my life is LAME. I cook I clean I play games and watch movies with the big kids go to their activities and sports change diapers run errands dance around watching barney just to see my 8 month old smile....it's not exciting, but it's mine, and that's ok.

Wow.. I think you are just down.. I never feel this way.. I enjoy reading the cool stuff friends do and I am proud of the "lame" stuff we do in comparison.. It makes me laugh sometimes, I can mention we went for burgers at a place that has been in town forever.. and the people that have moved away are so jealous..

Or I will say my husband has made me a cocktail and others say, wow, you get to have a cocktail? I am chasing kids around and can't have one..
I remember those days..

This last weekend we did not have much money so we ate here at home and then drove around for about 2 hours looking for all of the "Painted Cows" that are on display around town.. Sure it was 105 outside but we had fun.. We took pictures of each one we saw, and when they were posted people said it looked like fun.. We had been laughing we are so geeky, to be so excited about the goofy cows..

We have a puzzle going in the middle of the living room and we are posting the update each afternoon.. people are commenting.. I have been posting the car temperature each day it is over 112 on the car..

So right now you may feel lame, but in the future you are going to be glad you spent time at home with your kids.. Getting to eat as a family. Struggling to make ends meet and making it through.. .. It may look like others are having more fun, but you are a very fortunate person to have a family (children) and be able to be all together..

FB also can show you how hard other people's lives are. They are trying to help their ill relatives,

One of my best friends is battling Cancer.. She got excited because she was in no pain yesterday.. We all cheered for her online.

We have a friend who's teen son ran away from home at the beginning of summer and found out he was killed while trying to cross a busy road in another state a month later.. We were all devastated.

So you are allowed a pity party for a few minutes a day, but really stop every once in a while each day and really look around you.. It is all a blessing. Go outside and look up at he sky. Really look at the buildings, the other people and then go and look at your family.. Post that on your FB..

Sure, I think it's only human. But I go on there and play games. Sure I chat, post pix, etc. yeah I wish I was on their vacation or went to eat at a restaurant they did. But then again I think they don't need to know my every mood and I don't need to know theirs. Most friends post stuff to "look good" and I know they have a crummy life. I try to stay positive because I broke the rule and friended my boss LOL. Same as Google Plus, trying to figure that out and Linked In and Twitter. I go on them all. Wishful thinking but it's all good. Hope your day gets better. You live in CO, I've been there and love it! So see, I'm jealous your there and I'm stuck in FL. I like the snow and country. Not a beach girl as I grew up in Ohio. I miss the seasons.

Just remember all those people taking all those cool trips, buying new cars, shopping trips every day, eating out...they are all putting it on their credit cards and getting further and further in debt! I like FB and keeping in touch with friends and family...its cheap entertainment! =)

No, not really, I'm happy for my friends and family if they are doing something cool. NONE of our family members live close to each other - everyone lives in different states! And we moved from our home in Alaska about a year ago, so it's a way to keep in touch with those friends as well as grad school friends and college friends. It makes me SO happy to be able to see what everyone is up to with a glance. And I love seeing photos of their growing kids or sharing photos of mine. It's a pretty cool way to know a very small part of what is going on in your family/friend's lives. Our parents just adore FB bc they get to see and hear about their grandchildren more often. You sound like you need to beat your addiction. Try to go a whole day without getting on FB! Try to look once every other day or something...give yourself a goal if it's bringing you down!!!

Haha, honestly, yes. Some of my friends are doing such amazing things--living in China, Spain, and Indonesia while working for prestigious organizations; others are commanding military ops in Iraq or Afghanistan; some are super moms who are also working at least PT; one is doing her OB residency; one lives in Yosemite and is park guide; one lives with his wife and 2 kids in a rural area and are self sufficient food & shelterwise.

These people amaze me, and I am so proud of them all and the choices they have made in their lives. But none of them have MY kids and MY family, and although we don't get to travel much and I haven't earned my Masters yet or founded a company, I am so happy with my family and life. One look at my 3 boys and it banishes the temporary jealousy/inadequacy.

yes, other peoples fabulous vacations make me envious. As well I heard this is a very real phenomenon (other people's great lives making you feel awful). For this reason alone, I no longer post pictures of our vacations, instead I make albums of our vacations for my parents to see. I keep my photos pretty basic and should I include vacation ones, I don't lable them as such or put pictures of how great the room was. Just show family pictures with no big pronouncements about where we went. All I can say is, if it brings you down, stay off the site.

No, because FB is only a small snippet of someone's life. I also think a lot of people either create or a see a false reality on there.

I knew someone who posted pictures of all her new, big, expensive material items (Coach purse, new car, new house, every single room after it was redecorated, new Tempurpedic bed, Tiffany bracelet, etc.), or pics of herself after her 20 millionth time of getting the same haircut. It got old because she had no appreciation for it and she posted things every other week. It was not like buying things was a rare, special occasion for her. She never posted about how happy she was, her kids, her husband, and it came across as really insecure & attention seeking. I thought is was kind of sad, actually, because I knew that all the "stuff" she had didn't make her a happy person.

Not after getting over 200 wall posts wishing me happy birthday yesterday! =) That felt pretty good!

But I know what you mean, it's like when you bump into someone and have nothing interesting to tell them about how you've been, what you've been doing, etc...

I guarantee you have people who look at the pictures of your perfect little son and love them! And some of them may not have kids and wish for a simpler, albeit happy domesticated life. You never know!

Fb is for people who have bit too much free time. I would rather spend my free time with people I love. Fb obsession is just a cry for attention and a true disorder. I love the networking idea, if used for positive benefits. I don't care what anyone is having for breakfast or that they are mad at their husband. People have to be careful what they post or what they friends tagg or post. Facebook has cost my friend a corporate position job. Companies have access to see your post for 7 last years, even deleted posts. The young kids will have to change their identities in order to get a good jobs one day etc.

Know exactly what you mean! I have been saying I was going to delete FB for a long time , but yet I never do lol. But I REALLY should! lol Don't let it get ya down. Have a great day and enjoy your little angel!

I feel like that sometimes then I remember the things I do that don't get posted to FB. Some people put every blasted thing they do as an update, so I think they're lives do seem more interesting than mine.

I personally do not have fb, but you do not have to do anything big or elaborate to have fun! More than likely the people who go out all the time and don't have a family are not complete and you are way happier then they appear to be!! Not that you have to have kids to be complete, but it sure completed me! I would take a day of being with baby taking silly pics and goofing off over a night out on the town any day!!!
Just enjoy the blessings you have! But you are right it is hard to not compare to others sometimes! But I personally think you have a pretty cool life! Even if the only fun is with your oh so perfect son!! :)

Nope! I don't do Facebook, so I'm never tempted to compare myself to others.

Yes and no. Yes, in that I don't have a ton of "real' friends. I have 2 really good friends and don't get to see them very often. When I see pictures or status updates of old friends that are still getting together and have a lot of pictures posted of them having a good time, it makes me a little jealous.
But, I am sort of a homebody and really enjoy my weekends with my husband and kids. So when I see those pictures and status updates, I remind myself how happy I am with the life I have. I don't have to prove it by posting on facebook.

I don't do facebook and if anyone should, it's me. I do advertising and marketing for a living, and facebook is one of the best ways to get the word out about your business and goings on. I think you need to get yourself off if you are feeling jealous. All you are doing is ruining your quality of life and asking for a good solid depression to kick in if it hasn't already.

My husband and I have not been able to do any great travels since I quit my job when we had kids, now we have 4 and REALLY broke. I would love to go to all these wonderful places others seem to have money and time for, but that is not where I am at right now. The beautiful part is, I get to stay with my kids and enjoy them before they grow up and move out into the world. That opportunity will never come back, all these exotic places will still be there when my kids are grown.

Enjoy!

Either you have super cool friends or you are just really down on yourself. It has never occured to me to feel inadequate. I don't travel or have a job like a used to so hopefully I don't sound like a total loser when I post about what I do and pictures of my perfect son. But if I do...who cares. I only wish I could write what I really think something when people are totally trying to front or be phony. I have to control myself sometimes.

Nope, not at all. My husband on the other hand...he can't deal at all. For some reason he's under the impression that nobody else has the issues we have, nobody struggles with money, nobody fights about petty stuff, nobody has kids that drive them batty sometimes, nobody else has ever been laid off from a job, etc. etc. etc. On the other side of things, he thinks that everyone else goes on fancy vacations, buys whatever they want for their kids for Christmas, drives fancy cars, etc. etc. etc. In my mind, it all works out EXACTLY like how Nicole P. said. Sure there are people that have more than us, drive fancier cars, go on fancy vacations. Some of them haven't ever been laid off from a job (I was laid off from 3 different jobs, each in the construction industry, over the course of 4 years & we're still trying to recover financially 3 years after the last lay-off). Some of them however are in debt up to their eyeballs & charge everything they ever buy. We barely scrape by week by week. It feels like we fall farther behind all the time, though that's not true. We do not have any credit cards or personal loans. We have a mortgage on the house with a low fixed rate and about 6 months left to pay on his car before it's paid off. We do owe some money to my parents, but otherwise, there's not much going on, it's just hard to stay above water sometimes.

Anyway, that was a really long-winded explanation to your question, but my bottom-line answer is No, I do not get jealous looking at other people's facebook pages because I know that nobody is perfect & while they may be winning the game of money, I'm most likely winning the game of happiness!

I'll admit that it is easy to get caught up in the "Why them and not me?" garbage....BUT I look at it like this:

The "friends" that are my age that have the big houses, fancy cars, and go on big vacations each year......HAVE NO KIDS (they don't want any at this time, not that they can't have them). I would rather have our perfectly sized for our needs right now home, our two low-budget cars, our ridiculously low salaries, our every so often mini-trips to the park, zoo, or museum, our once a year trip to PA (our home state), and MY KIDS (my precious almost 4 year old princess who lights up my life in a way that money or stuff could never do and the little bundle of all boy that is currently growing and getting ready to say hello to his mama for the first time in a few short weeks).

Sure, we could have waited much longer to start our family and have the means to buy the bigger house, the better cars, take trips around the world......but the choice we made to marry at 21/22 and start our family after an unplanned pregnancy that led to a devasting miscarriage shortly after is nothing I would change because it is WHO I AM! I can't imagine my life without my daughter or this new blessing that is about to join us! I wouldn't trade it for the world....so, yes, they appear to live a better life in the terms that society uses to describe success....BUT I KNOW my life is great just the way it is. :)

Blessings to you and yours and stop worrying about what you don't have and focus on what you do have. You have more than you know.......:) Take care!

Every time I see someone who seems to be living a life on a lawn much "greener" than the lawn I am currently standing on, I play that old lending tree commercial in my head. You remember the one right? If not this is how it went.

Happy looking dude comes on screen and says, "I'm Stanley Johnson."

Screen switches to him standing in front of a nice house hugging his smiling family and he says, "I've got a great family."

Switches again and he's standing inside a nicely decorated living room with expensive looking furniture and he says, "I've got a four bedroom house in a great community."

He's now driving down a tree lined street in a shiny new car and he says, "Like my car? It's new!"

Now he's teeing off with some people on a lush green golf course and says, "I even belong to the local golf club."

A puppy runs up to him and he pets it fondly all while still smiling and says, "How do I do it?"

Now he's cleaning out his fancy private backyard pool and let's us all in on the dirty little secret by saying, "I'm in debt up to my eyeballs!" while continuing to smile his plastered on plastic grin.

Still smiling, the next scene is a bbq with his family in his nice backyard and he confides, still smiling to the camera, "I can barely pay my finance charges."

Finally, you see poor Stanley on his expensive riding mower, mowing his expansive lawn and... still smiling he beseeches the listener, "Somebody help me!"

So, whenever I see someone's amazing facebook life, I picture them riding an expensive riding mower and begging for help with their bills and it helps keep the green monster in his hole where he belongs.

Here's the commercial for those who haven't seen it yet:

http://youtu.be/r0HX4a5P8eE

Heh...I know exactly what you mean. Looking at an ex's wedding photos and seeing my friends there, etc. I was also getting depressed, but I nipped it by closing my account and stayed off for a while. It's hard the first 2-3 days, but you start feeling much better, and HELLO, way more productive. When I think of all the time I wasted looking at FB I get so angry. I have a husband and 3 kids and it got embarrassing when my husband would catch me on it several times a day. If you think about it, it's a very superficial way to socialize, and I found that I was not socializing and reaching out less to my close- by friends because of it. I'm a firm believer that it can lead to feelings of depression and inadequacy. Realize that people only post the most positive aspects of their lives not the boring, unattractive, other aspects. And what is with those people that are constantly posting their pictures and changing their profile pics? Need attention much? I say give yourself a two week time out..I bet you'll feel less tethered to it and much better. When you deactivate your account it's so easy to reactivate it, again, nothing changes it's as if you never left. I think FB is smart to do that cause it's too easy to log back in.

Yes, yes and yes! I see other's homes and their vacations - and while we both work, we don't have the money to do these things. Yet, we are the same age, even better educated..but it it what it is....

When I was going through secondary IF (have primary too) - I couldn't look at ppls happy families or look at birth announcements, I stayed off FB for a very long time.

I am overweight too - so dont post pics of myself :)

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes"

Look at your life through new eyes today. You have an amazing life. Yes, some of your friends probably go out and travel and this or that. You have a child. How AMAZING is it to be a mom and to have a baby that loves you so much? Be stoked on your life =)