Does Anyone Have Any Experience Confronting an Alcoholic Friend?

You can help by going to an Al-anon meeting (friends and family of alcoholics). There you will find the tools you need to move forward.

Dad on Purpose has it spot on.
You can attend an Alanon meeting and that will answer any and all questions about what you can do.
Otherwise....nothing.

That said, if her children are neglected or unsafe--then you need to contact the authorities immediately. I would be more concerned with keeping her kids safe NOW while she works through her issues--which could take years.

Good luck.

You can't help those who are unwilling to help themselves.

Sad, but true, and I speak from experience. Good luck.

Unless their is some desire in a person to change, what you say will fall on deaf ears. You can try talking to her but she has to want it herself. Unfortunately addiction is something that once it has a person may lead them to a very dark place if/when they decide to get help. You can try talking and offering to go to an AA meeting with her just to see if she realizes there is any problem. Wish you and your friend the best.

I agree whole heart and soul with Dad on Purpose.
Not to take anything away from his advice, but to add my own experience...Confrontation is one thing alcoholics are not good with. Drinking is like being overweight. We know it. Noone needs to point it out. We know we need to make changes and would if we knew how. Theres tremendous guilt, and shame. It's embarassing to be overweight and you dont want people pointing it out. It's embarassing, when you think you are keeping your drinking under control and under wraps, only to realize other people know.
Keeping that in mind, if you feel led out of love, you can offer help. Let your friend know you love them and dont judge them or think they're weak. You just want to help be a resource and support system for them. Don't tell them the drinking is out of control - they know! But, just like an overweight person, they wont make changes until they want to bad enough.

I once confronted my sister about her alcoholism. I don't think i did it as good as I could have. It made her angry and initially caused a wedge between us. But she eventually sought and succeeded in her recovery with some glitches along the way. I have no idea if my confrontation played a positive or negative role.

Good treatment centers have the contact information of intervention specialists, and both iof whom often offer intervention classes.

I've gone to aa with my friend for support, but she was ready to go. All you can do is be there for them.

An alcoholic will quit when he/she hits bottom. And bottom is different for everyone. For one person it is when they lose their job, for others when their spouse walks out or their children won't call or come around. Sometimes it is a combination of things -- some quit when they are homeless, vomiting in a gutter, begging for food --- for some bottom is death. All alcoholics eventually quit but some only quit when they die.

You can speak to your friend in a nonconfrontable manner. You can tell her you are concerned and you will help her get help but you can't make her take that step --- she has to take it on her own.

Yes, been there done that.

Ditto to Dad on Purpose's suggestion to go to Al-Anon. Just to make it clear, AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) is the fellowship for alcoholics who want to stop drinking; it's not the same as Al-Anon, which is a fellowship for friends and relatives of alcoholics. Al-Anon helps those people affected by someone else's drinking. For your situation, you might offer support to her children (emotional and crisis referral, NOT taking them into your home to live!). Having sane adults around when one's parent is crazy can be really important to kids. Offering love and a reality check when your friend asks for it also can help her. But you can't make her accept that her use of alcohol is out of control or that she needs help to stop; she will need to do that herself.

@ Patty B.: Yes, having an addicted parent hurts children and leaves lots of baggage to address in adulthood. I sure wish my parent had made a different choice, though luckily, no one paid the ultimate price for the alcoholism. If the parent's drinking is putting the kids in danger, the authorities might need to be involved. However, you are assuming that this mother is thinking rationally, and if she's an actively drinking alcoholic, that isn't the case. While taking that first drink is a choice, addiction is not a choice. Some people are hooked from the first time they use alcohol, while others slip into addiction slowly. Often addicts/ alcoholics are in denial that they are hooked, and that usually means they are denying how their drinking or drugging affects other people. They aren't consciously being selfish. They will only see that they are addicted and need to get help to stop when they are ready. So judging them or wondering why they don't act rationally is pointless.

I have alot of alcoholics in my family... my grandpa was one, my dad, 2 uncles and a few cousins. My younger brother was walking a very fine line there for a couple of years.

My cousin has been a treatment center 4 times, she is there again right now. After each one she starts back up, drinking heavier than the previous time.

My dad refuses saying he doesn't want to change so he isn't wasting his time or money.

My uncle got drunk and threatened suicide. The cops were called and he was taken to the hospital. Seen dr's and psychologists and then had to see a judge before he could be released. The judge made him to go a treatment center for 2 weeks to dry up. The next week after getting out he was back to drinking.

My neighbor got a DUI and had to take classes and CPS was involved because she had her daughter in the car with her. They made her take the AA classes to keep her daughter. Well she went to her classes and then to AA every week after AA a group of them went to the bar down the road and got drunk before coming home. Since she never missed an AA class she kept her daughter but she isn't any closer to being sober.

All you can do is reach out a hand to them and the occasional advice or concern and hope they take it. I agree try al-anon meetings to maybe see what they can help with, I have never been to one so I don't know what they do to help you there. Good luck, its hard to sit back and watch someone drink their life away.

All you can do is make the person know you are aware of the problem.
I have lots of alcoholics in my family, hell, I might even be one, I do put back a few cocktails in the evenings most days.
We did every intervention possible with my stepdad who died of liver failure two years ago, it was a long, slow death and very devastating for my mom especially.
I find it very unfortunate that we can no longer have loved ones committed when they have definitely lost control of their lives with drugs or alcohol or even mental disorders without their permission. Many sick people are too sick to realize they are sick.

The best way to help your friend is to help yourself. Locate an Al-anon meeting in your area. There you will find strength, experience and hope and many of the answers that you are looking for. As the sibling of an alcoholic, I can tell you that it is much easier to be supportive and loving then I am in touch with my own serenity.
Best of luck to you, L+