Does Anyone Feel like a Stupid After Having Sex?

"...after having sex I feel like a stupid for giving in"? If you are married, have a good relationship with your husband, and have started a family together, you're not "giving in". It's part of the joy of being in a commited loving relationship. "Giving it up" is more high school speak, like you gave in on a date and let some guy grope you in the car. You're not at that place anymore. However, you may need to mention it to your doctor; it could be that your hormones are a little out of balance or something. I'm not a doctor, not even going there, but there are reasons that women's sex drives wane but a doctor may be able to help you find why and help "fix" it if you want.

A stupid what?

If you enjoy sex, then you're not giving in but participating. If ypu're having issues with desire, body image, tiredness, etc., that's normal, but ask your doctor about it! It's good for a marriage to have sex and if you're enjoying it you certainly shouldn't feel stupid. More clarification would help us all.

I'm not sure what you are asking but I am going to take a guess. Do you mean you aren't in the mood and you would prefer to cuddle, but you give in and have sex to make him happy? If so, then yes it is normal for some women. After having a baby sometimes we just don't have anything else to give of ourselves for a while. So we would like to be cuddled and cared for after caring for a child all day. . Most men just want to get to the good stuff lol so we either refuse them or give in, so that's where I think what you are saying is normal. It used to drive me crazy when my husband would grab at me, I know he thought it was cute but it would piss me off lol!!! After I communicated why I felt what I felt he got it. Men don't understand sometimes how much of us we give to our children as mommies and sometimes there isn't much else to give, or much else we want then to GO TO SLEEP!!! LOL I think you just need to talk to your husband and let him know that you love him very much and sometimes you just are not in the mood. Maybe he can give you some time for you, like watch the baby and let you take a nice warm bubble bath, read for a while, etc. Just some time to recharge so you can get back in the mood. It sounds like your tired and need some me time. If the low sex drive continues then talk to your doctor about it. Good luck!!

I'm not sure what you mean by feeling like a stupid. What is stupid about having sex? Sex shouldn't feel like giving it, it should be about desire or at least, love. Sure it's normal to have some changes in desire, but at almost two years, you're not in the postpartum period anymore. If it's that you're too tired or overwhelmed, think about what would make the situation more amenable for you - sex on a weekend afternoon while your toddler is at a grandparent's? Sex on a night where your husband brings takeout, cleans up the kitchen and gets your toddler into bed? Dressing up in pretty lingerie and makeup with music and candles? Your sex drive may also simply not be exactly the same after having kids or as you age. It's still fine to go ahead and be intimate with your husband - having sex tends to make you want more. Good luck!

I don't really understand your question.

Not sure what you are asking feeling like "a stupid"

Unless you are being humiliated into having sex I wouldn't feel stupid.

Sounds like you love being close and cuddling...so why not take it one step further to really bond with eachother.

Maybe it is that you are not in the mood and you feel like you are giving in to him and you had planned to hold out?? Really not sure if that is what you are implying...but you shouldn't even feel stupid if that was the scenario.

Sex drive should not only be the "gear" that gets you to make love. Being in the mood or not, it is something that will bring you two closer together than any other action will. (Not saying it is the only thing that will bring you close but it is very important.)

I would suggest talking to a counselor about your feelings.

I agree with others what is a stupid? Do you not want to have sex and that's why you say giving in?

I think this is something you are going to have to talk to your doc about ... just to make sure your hormones are not out of whack first.

I don't know what you mean by you "feel like a stupid for giving in" to having sex with your husband. I get that you're saying you enjoy pretty much everything EXCEPT FOR the actual act of sex. Yes, that's normal especially if you're still breastfeeding. Although this long after delivery it's probably something that you should discuss with your OB because it shouldn't go on this long. There could be some underlying issues that need to be addressed if you're having pain or dryness or other discomfort.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean. Are you feeling insecure with your post-baby body and feel stupid or something? I think it's normal to feel insecure that way, which can also affect your drive and how you feel about yourself. Plus, add a baby that isn't sleeping well, it can wear you out that way, making you much less interested too. So, I'm not exactly sure what you mean when you say you feel stupid, but it is normal to feel differently about yourself after having a baby, which can then affect your intimate life.

Dear NB-

I am not clear on your question. I would talk to my doctor...

Is this a 'fear' of getting pregnant again? There are many options in terms of birth control...and your doc can help with that...and if it is hormonal...or even depression...your doc can assist there as well...

If you mean something else...update us to clarify!

Best luck!
michele/cat

I dont get it either. Maybe explain it better?

.

"after having sex i feel like a stupid for giving in." ??? Giving in, meaning giving in to haivng sex with him? Isn't that what a wife is supposed to do? I am a little confused.