Do You Know of a Parenting Book That Will Work on a 2 Year Old

She is absolutely old enough to understand time outs and discipline. My 18 month old takes a time out in her bed...alone...when she disobeys. Also, when she throws a tantrum at home she gets a swat on the behind and a trip for 2 minutes to her bed. I also tell her, "No, we do not act like that." I am stern and consistant every time. I also have a 2 year old and when he will not sit in his chair, stroller, etc... I will strap him in and sometimes have to ignore his screaming...if we are in a place that I can do so. You have to be consistant with whatever discipline you do. It sounds like she knows she can get away with the tantrums and other behavior at home and knows the boundaries are different at MDO. I don't think you need a book or DVD, just some consistancy. GOOD LUCK, it will get better!!

LOVE AND LOGIC!! They have dvds, books, books on cd, etc. I have a list of instructors in texas if you need that. My 21 month old now does 'room' time. Here is an example of today:
Me: "here is your vitamin"
child: "no" and throws it on the floor
Me: "I need you to take this right now."
child: puts in mouth and spits out
Me: (singing) "Uh oh, need a little room time, so Sad. Throw a little fit and call me when you are sweet."

I shut her door and wait for her to stop throwing her fit. Then I asked:
Me: "ready for timer?" "Sit down"
she is sitting quietly.
I set her timer for about 1.5 minutes. Once it dings, I say:
Me: "I missed you. Lets go back down stairs."

I did this two times this morning and then she took her vitamins for me. Not sure why she is fighting me on this all of a sudden, but she took them without any issue after the second 'room' time. This method works. It has taught me how to catch myself when I am not taking care of ME. Negotiating and reminding and giving warnings is exhausting to me, so it has taught me to nip it. Singing prevents an angry response. This has worked for both of mine (35 months and 21 months). At first, they don't understand, so I have slowly worked them into the 'room' time routine:
*at first, the instant she was quiet, I made the timer 'ding' and gave hugs and so forth. (don't rehash the behavior...she knows what she did as long as you respond in a manner that is not of anger).
*after that, I set the timer without saying anything or opening the door; gave hugs etc.
*after that, I told her I was setting her timer once she was calm, and after it dinged we gave hugs, etc.
*now, I can open her door, ask if she is sitting and ready for timer, and she will wait for it to ding.

Don't worry about her playing in her room...that is fine. The point is to stop the behavior by separating her from you when she is not listening or being aggressive. Now I can ask mine if they need 'wall' time (if out of the house) or whatever. I use 'wagon' time when we are at the park. Get the idea.

Look onto website: www.loveandlogic.com

We also used Happiest Toddler on the Block, actually do both techniques.

Email if need more help....I understand the pain....but these two things helped. Look on half.com for good deals on the dvd's for Happiest Toddler dvd.

____@____.com

added: when my girls act up when out to eat, one of us takes her to the car, puts her in the seat, and we read or something and ignore her. This has only happened once and after we did this, she responds when we say: would you like to stay with mommy and daddy and eat, or do you need time in the car?

I have a 23 month old also and she has just started "testing" me within the past month or so. When she acts out or doesn't listen, she goes to timeout. As exhausting as it may be, you may have to keep putting her in timeout until she understands that she won't be allowed to do whatever it is you don't want her to do no matter how many times she tries. I have been doing most timeouts in her bed because she wouldn't stay put, but I am out of town for Thanksgiving and have had to do it a couple of times and she is finally getting the idea of sitting where I put her. Just make sure she has NO contact with you during the timeout and that you give her the same consequence EVERY time she does the unwanted behavior. When you're out, it's tough. I've noticed that ignoring tantrums at home works great, but it's harder to do when you're out. I would say to take her out of the store in her stroller and push her somewhere a little louder (even outside a mall entrance) and stand there until she stops. I am in total agreement with leaving the restaurant when she acts that way. Maybe you could just sit in the car (strapped in her seat) for a timeout and see if she is better when you go back. Also be sure to bring things for her to do in the restaurant because they are almost always finished before we are and they get bored so easily! I don't have much advice other than to be consistent and, as you mentioned, don't reward her behavior in any way. Best of luck. I am going to read your other responses too because I am always open to more suggestions.

V.

I wish I could offer you advice. Unfortunately you have described my daughter, who just turned two a couple of weeks agao. So, instead, I thank you for posting this and generating all this wonderful advice and commiserate with you. One thing I am thinking about is taking another child in to babysit a couple of days a week to see if having her own aged friend with help. Of course, I would have to tell the parent that it would be on a trial basis in case it gets worse. Good luck. I will think of you when I get a free, quiet moment and hope that you are getting a break as well.

Happiest Toddler on the Block -- get the book and dvd. They were really helpful for us.

At 23 months, she's probably a bit young to truly understand time outs but she does sound precocious. We've found that putting toys in time out is far more effective for us but honestly, it took a while.

I would also suggest that you pick your battles. Some are just not worth fighting I have learned. My son went through a phase where he refused to wear shoes. We used to FIGHT over this and then one day I thought, who cares if he wears them or not, he's just going to have to learn that if he's not he's not walking on the floor. So we'd go to the grocery store and he'd stay (shoeless) in the cart. He soon got over his shoe phobia and now it's not an issue. I've seen moms fighting with their kids to wear jackets too. If my son threw a fit over that, I'd just say fine, don't wear it and be cold. If it really is cold we've learned that he will wear the jacket after all.

I am currently reading "Raising your spirited child" and I LOVE it!!!! I HIGHLY recommend it!

Although there are a few things about the Love and Logic series that I do not totally agree with, it might help you to read through the original book just for a few suggestions. It really sounds like you have a very smart little girl, and maybe she is even smarter than you thought for a little while. So, seeing as I have one of those that is now 4 and really we have yet to solve the problem totally, I will say that she loves to feel in control, so offering her choices has really helped. That way, when I do have to stick to a rule, at least it is only one fight instead of the 10 we might have already had normally. So, lay out 2 outfits in the morning, and let her pick. Which bowl do you want for your cereal? I will let you pour your cereal in your bowl as soon as you are in your seat like a big girl. And the big one is that she knows that the rotten behavior does not get any reaction out of you anymnore!! I simply state the rule and the consequence, normally time in her room alone, And then, when she breaks the rule, there is no warning, no counting to three, no second chance...I simply tell her how sad she must feel that she chose to break a rule, and ask if she would like to walk to her room, or do I need to carry her. If she does not tell me with in 3 seconds or so (I count in my head..not out loud) I simply tell her that she must need me to take her. If she is screaming, I tell her that she can stop screaming and sit with the door open, or I will close it so that the rest of us do not have to hear it. It will take some time, but the biggest thing is not to react at all!! And of course be as consistent as possible, and finally, be soooo overly happy when she is good, that she figures out that she gets the best reaction when she is good. I am sorry that this is so long, but I know how frustrated you are, and hope that this gave you some insight. Stay calm, be firm, and for sure let her see you do things with big sister when she is behaving, especially if little sis is not. I have sat in the car with my 4 year old while hubby stayed at McDonalds to play with my 7 year old who had made better choices. It is very hard for her to watch sister doing what she is not, but it works well for us. Good luck!! ~A.~

In my opionion, reading a book doesn't help with your child. All children are different and you can read a thousand books and try everything they say but no one knows your child better than you. At two children are learning their boundaries and seeing exactly how you are going to react and that will be what is set for when they turn three, four and so on. I've read several parenting books and they just seemed to make me more aggrivated than helpful. On both my children, I said no one time, counted to three (which some parents disagree with), but once I got to three, I would swat them on the bottom (not bare bottomed and not hard). It hurts their feelings more than physically, because they can't believe you just did that. Also, what worked with my daughter, I would tell her how disappointed I was that she didn't listen to me. I would get down on her level and say "That doesn't make mommy happy when you don't listen" and that broke her heart. She didn't like making me unhappy. My son, that didn't work so much, time out didn't work, corners didn't work, picking battles didn't work. You have to let your kids know who the parent is and who the child is. With my son,I had to result to spanking (as a last alternative), some parents disagree, but my kids are five and four and once I start counting, by time I hit two, whatever I told them to do is done! It's worked so far!!!!!

A couple to try, "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline" and "Adventures in Gentle Discipline"