I have been a mom now for 16 years and happily married for 18 years. I have a great job, I get to have an office at home, set my own schedule, and also be here for my family when they need me. I have done an excellent job as a parent and my kids are now teens and learning to navigate the world more and more each day. So, my question is, why do I feel like nothing that great is really going on here? LOL. Since I don't have colleagues around me in an office at work, I feel isolated and alone a lot during the day. Most of my good friends, including my very best friend, have moved away. I also moved to a different town 5 years ago and although I have tried to make new friends here, there seems to be no one that I really like to hang out with or that I will ever get close to like my old friends were. Everyone is either years older than me or much younger than me. A lot of people have weirdo stuff that they do which I don't feel like being a part of. I have also met a good amount of parents that just seem totally "checked out" or ones that are so damn nosey and gossipy that you know nothing and no one is safe around them! Everything seems very black and white with little gray area. I need to get out of my home and do things but since most people work outside their homes, all they want to do is come home and marinate there!
Oh I so get what you are saying! I went through that phase so I started doing a lot of volunteer work. I made lots of friends and at the same time was helping families in need! My favorite was helping with cleaning up hiking trails. I like hiking so it was a great way to meet ppl with the same interest.
I also got my kids involved!
Best of luck to you!
Hi, I work from home as well and know what you are saying. You could probably look into taking some classes at the local community college or something similar. And as others have said, volunteering is a great way to meet people.
Also, forgive me for saying this but you might need to be a bit more open minded as well. You seem very judgemental about the people in your area. Maybe if you took some time to get to know them and their activities you might enjoy them.
Best of luck.
I was raised an Army brat and am now a Navy wife. I've moved around a lot. The best advise I have is to do the things you enjoy doing, and you will meet others with the same interests. You can go an extra mile and join clubs and organizations or something like that.....
My family is really interested in the middle ages, so years ago we joined the SCA. ( www.sca.org ). I have tried Mommy groups but have often found just because we are women who have decided to breed does not necessarily give us enough in common to form a bond over. Try different things, but remember to just allow things to flow. Otherwise, enjoy your you time. Take some time to reflect, perhaps journal, and develop some long-term plans and goals. Have fun!
Do you go to church? If so, does your church have Bible studies or other gatherings during the day? Have you breastfed your kids? La Leche League has local groups of moms who talk about breastfeeding, but also about other health, parenting & childraising issues. LLL is a great organization that teaches parents to rely on their instincts and not just follow the "experts" on every issue. Are there volunteer opportunities available at your local schools, churches, or community organizations? Try volunteering for Special Olympics or at a local food pantry or soup kitchen. Volunteer with your kids, when possible, and by yourself or with your husband at other times. Join a book club & read & discuss the chosen books. If you're a believer, spend time in prayer, at home or in church. If you're not a believer, spend some time investigating faith to see whether you're missing out on something. I don't know what your home office is like or what kind of work you do, but if you want a suggestion for a great company that attracts the kind of people you'd like to associate with (instead of the kind that gossip & back-bite), my company is great, and we have weekly get-togethers. We feel like family!
Nothing wrong with the way you're feeling. Maybe one or more of my suggestions or the others you'll get from this group will be right for you.
I understand what you are saying. I own an insurance agency and worked from home for a long time but now have an office but still don't see anyone! I leave early to get the kids so I'm home with them in the afternoons. Like the other mom suggested, check out www.meetup.com. It's free. You just type in your zip code and see what is around you. If you have a hobby, you can search that. I type in "business networking" since I can meet other people who can help me spread the word about my business. There are coffee groups where you can just show up and meet new people. Just try a bunch of them and if you meet one or two people you hit it off with, that's all you really need! Then you have someone you can meet for lunch, movie, coffee, whatever. Good luck to you!!!
wow, what's wrong with somebody "years older or younger than you"??? Isn't that limiting your life experiences? & wow, what do you consider "weirdo stuff" to do? What's your "normal"? I would think that being "momtoteens" would be very diverse!
I fear that I would fall into the "older, weirdo" category. AND you know what? I embrace diversity in life.....it's what makes life interesting, fun, & enriching! Try it, you may like it!!
That said, how about adding some "randomness" to your life? That's a phrase that's very popular with teens & youngsters right now! Get out & explore! We live in a very small town, & regularly, I just hit the road with my sons - & sometimes my husband - & sometimes just the dogs. We just "randomly" go from road to road, looking at the sights, familiarizing ourselves with what's new in our community....just to get out & see something new! When my sons were little, I would say "we were going to look for signs of spring (etc)"......& it's set a tone for our lives.
The rest of my family is in St Louis. We employ this "random" exploring on a regular basis there, too! I love seeing how the city has changed since we lived there, love reconnecting with familiar oldies (thinking of Ted Drewes & Soulard!), & tying together past/present. It's fun, & it's "random" !!
On another note, when my father passed away last fall, a very sweet lady said that she would miss his "gentlemanly manners". She said that everytime he came into her shop, he was always a gentleman. He held the door for her, he always took the time to ask about her & her life. He always waited to hear her answers. I have made this a lifeline for myself. I now approach social gatherings with this in mind. I take the time to speak with people I normally would not consider "inside my realm".....& have enjoyed quite a few happy moments with complete strangers! It's eye-opening, it's soul-enriching, & I carry this as my banner......thanks to my Dad.
Maybe something like this would add to your life. Reaching out with kindness, genuine interest, & curiousity .....to complete strangers.....may just give you the spark you need! & if you combined it with volunteering, then you really could be making a difference...... I wish you Peace.
I am in the same boat - want to do lunch..!!!
I worked from home too, and I definitely understand how you are feeling. My best friend moved away as well, and it leaves a void that no one else can fill. While my child is still young, I felt similar feelings. What I did, was to go out and find other things to do that I am interested in-- I like to throw parties so I started volunteering doing events, and I have met a ton of people who are like me-- and interested in doing the same things. So find something you have always wanted to do, and do it. You will meet people with common interests and that will spark a friendship. Another option is to go back into the workplace. I know you said you were happy at home, but a workplace is also a great place to meet like-minded people that you would want to associate with and go out. Get out now that your children are older and can handle themselves. Go places, do things that you have been holding off on. Enjoy your life and others will want to be around you cause you are having so much fun!
I have felt this same way. I just decided what I like to do best, looked into what interested me the most & did those things alone. It took a couple times, but eventually find people I can relate to. Sometimes you find friends in the oddest of situations, but just getting out there can be the biggest hurdle. Just keep going out & doing what you enjoy & you will meet people with similar interests. It felt awkward for me at first to do things alone, but that passed.
I have two little kids and work outside the home, but I know how you feel. I moved here about 6 years ago and haven't really clicked with anyone after all this time. It sounds like you are experiencing some cabin fever too. I have had to come up with either things to do by myself (massage) or get my family out of the house with me to avoid some of that blah time. You are soooooo not alone!
Yes, sort of. My son's 11 and doing great. My husband works at an office, and I work from a home office - and the neighborhood is fairly empty for most of the day. It took me a solid 3 months to adjust to working from home - to not have contact with all the people in an office just threw me for awhile. But right now I absolutely love working from home, and my co-workers are located across 3 or so major continents.
When I'm not running my son around to school and taekwondo activities, I putter in my garden. My veggie garden isn't much, but it keeps me in tomatoes for a good part of the summer. I had a great crop of blue berries this year. My flower/butterfly garden is really taking off and it flutters with all kinds of butterflies (some of which I still need to identify). I have fun identifying the wildlife that shows up in my yard (frogs, toads, blue tailed skinks (so far no poisonous snakes thank goodness) and there is usually a nest of killdeers somewhere in the yard once or twice a year. The neighbors dog (a chocolate lab) comes over for a game of fetch every so often (we all play with her) and a couple of times a month I chat with a few neighbors about school and how the kids are doing, their gardens, etc.
I just don't need a whole lot from other people and I am content.
Awhile ago (before I was a parent and before I worked from home) I took a stained glass class (we made a lamp) and learned how to cut glass and solder together small projects. It was a lot of fun (and I still have the lamp). Take a look in your local adult education catalog and see if there are any classes that pique your interest.
Read "the purpose driven life" ... it will change your life!
I think we all feel that way from time to time. Maybe you can join a meetup group based on an interest. Do you like exploring new restaurants, photography, knitting, philosophy, writing, reading, gardening, crafting or anything like that? There are tons of local groups you can join that have get togethers.
The issue of MORE magazine that just came out has an article about friendship cycles, drifting from old friends, needing new friends, etc. I recommend reading it.
Volunteer work, taking a class, going to new places...these might help.
