Divorce - Shakopee,MN

Sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you guys. My daughter just turned 4 when her dad and I split and she reacted much the same. I've reassured her that I'll never leave her no matter what. Also let her know that daddy's always there for her even if he doesn't live there anymore. She'll take it hard but the more positive spin you put on it will determine how long she'll act out and blow him off.
When you put her on time out tell her it's because you love her and don't want her to act that way. When you let her up, reassure her again that you love her - the other advice you've had is really good! You might want to try counseling - I did with my kids and it really helps the parent and the child(ren).
Call me if you find yourself in need of an ear to listen - sometimes it helps too, if she has "friends" who've been through it. My daughter thought it was the worst thing in the world til she found out how many other kids have dads who don't live with them. Talk to ya soon - hang in there!!

Wow! Sounds like she is having a really hard time with this. I was 6 when my parents divorced, and I was the rare kid who was happy about it. I guess I would try to keep your normal schedule as much as possible, and make sure she gets plenty of time with her dad so that she doesn't feel so abandoned by him. I am sure you have explained to her that daddy and mommy both still love her and want to be with her, but daddy can't live there anymore... I am not sure what else really would help. It sounds like she is too upset about this for you to handle it on your own to me, I think you might have to try counseling. I usually try to avoid things like that because I think it is done too much, but this is a very hard thing for a child, and if you don't find a way to help her through it smoothly, that wonderful little girl that you had before might have tantrums and hate as she gets older, and I know you don't want that! Sorry, I know I am not much help, but that is what it sounds like your situation needs to me. I hope things get better and your life settles down so you can get back to raising her... not just dealing with her pain. Good luck!

J.

I'm gonna guess your daughter needs some hard core reassurance Mommy isn't going anywhere and mommy isn't ever gonna leave her. My daughter did this too, they act naughty to test you. And while disciplining them and using punishment or repremanding them just reassure her no matter how naughty she is your NOT LEAVING. I use to tell my daughter over and over and over again things to reassure her like how much I loved her, she was my favortiest person in the entire world, I'm so thankful God gave me a little girl, she's my best buddy etc. etc. I really made a point of telling her things like this a few times a day and I also would watch other kids act up at the store and make an example out of them and say boy they are so naughty I'm glad your behaving so good today and tell her how much of a baby that child is acting. I would find reasons to praise her for her good behavior and after doing this for a few months things are great! You could try and bring her to a children's pyschologist/therapist I did this when my daughters Dad walked out of her life at age 4 and it helped me more than her, the psychologist gave me so many tips on what to do, or say around her and how to explain things etc....

When she is hitting, spitting, screaming or whatever - don't say anything and hold her as tight as you can until she calms down.
Hold her with love
Hold her with empathy
Hold her with all your strength
Be quiet and hold her
Be quiet and hold her
I've been there, done that and wanted it from my own mom.