Dear A.,
I always believe that it is best to be straightforward and honest -- with grace. It would have been appropriate for you to approach the mother and say, "Excuse me. I was almost knocked down by one of your boys. I asked him to stop running, because I'm sure that he did not realize that his running created a safety problem for me and other shoppers." Hopefully the woman would at least be courteous, and perhaps you would be making her aware of something she had not thought about. Either way, I would be inclined to add, "You might also want to know that both of your sons have kicked their sister, at least twice."
It is a shame that the store owners did not feel it appropriate to ask the woman to manage her children, regardless of how much she bought. It is their responsibility to set an expectation for the behaviors allowed in their store. Again, if said with a caring attitude, it might be helpful for the mother to hear the store owner say, "We want you as well as ALL of our other patrons to have a good shopping experience. Will you please ask your boys to stay near you and not to run in the store. It is dangerous for them and for our other guests."
Your comments about the daughter are not detailed enough to know if her behavior was, in fact, out of line. In other words, how old was she? Would it have been possible for her to purchase any of the jewelry she was trying on? Assuming that she was too young to be a purchaser, it would have been good for the store owners to take a position standing directly beside her, letting her know that she had SOME supervision. If she was too young to be a customer of the jewelry, the shop owner could have asked the girl if she was shopping for the jewelry as a gift. Both of these actions would probably be enough to encourage her not to "play" with the jewelry, and might at least attracted the attention of the mother. If the girl was underage to be a legitimate buyer, it would be perfectly acceptable for the shop owner to ask her mother not to let her daughter play with the merchandise.
My comment is NOT a criticism of you; it is simply an observation about protocols of human behavior that are evident almost everywhere. Our society (at least in the U.S.) has gotten to the point that we, as a whole, are unwilling to take a stand, particularly on important matters that include MANNERS and public behaviors. I believe that "good" people are unwilling to take a stand on these issues because, over the past 40 years, we have seen spiraling (inappropriate) litigation citing violation of the "rights" of those who exhibit the rude behaviors. Because we TOLERATE undisciplined children in public and in our SCHOOLS, I think it has led to tolerating rude behavior by adults. For example, look at the rude and boorish way that some people treat service personnel -- shop keepers, waiters/waitresses, hotel staff and sales personnel. (In fact, conduct a personal pole; I think you will observe that the only service personnel that generally receive good treatment are those who deliver a personal services that might be messed up if they were treated poorly, like hair stylists, etc.)
We have, sadly, become a society focused on "ME" to the exclusion of the rights and feelings of others. In your example, YOU had a right to shop in the store without being placed in jeopardy of falling. The shop owners have a right to not have their store ransacked by unruly children. Unfortunately, we have done this to ourselves simply by lowering our expectations for behaviors and NOT speaking out (with kindness) against such actions. Also, a major indicator of the "ME-mentality" are the frivolous lawsuits that many people endorse (it is not uncommon to hear others say, "You should SUE them for that.") It would be lovely to hear people say, "I would hope you wouldn't take the courts time and energy for THAT!" On the whole, we do not interact with neighbors, we seek anonymity, and we have not taken interest in elections so that judges hear cases and award judgments to people who shouldn't be in court in the first place.
As a former teacher, I would be surprised if you didn't agree that the rights of ALL the well-behaved children in the classroom, who get their learning disrupted by the distractions of the children with discipline problems, are imposed upon. Unfortunately, as a society we have not taken a stand for the rights of the MANY. We simply buckle to the perceived rights of the FEW that are ME-focused and self-centered.
I do not know if our society's focus on self WILL change, but it cannot change until the more people realize that we cannot remain detached from others, turn an indifferent eye to elected officials and be silently tolerant of bad behavior - whether in public, in schools, and most important, in our homes. We do not have to be discourteous or rude ourselves to affect change. But I do believe that we are going to have to start caring more about others, be willing to accept some small injustices ourselves without filing a lawsuit and try, try, try to return to some standards and expectations of "appropriate" behaviors. It probably goes without my saying that I believe these standards are taught by the Bible:
Mark 12:31 - "The second is this, 'YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' There is no other commandment greater than these."
Exodus 20:12 - "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you."
1 Corinthians 6:1-8 -"If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church! I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? But instead, one brother goes to law against another—and this in front of unbelievers! The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers."
The instructions that God has given us for excellent lives are VERY available to ANYONE in a free country that takes the initiative to obtain and read a Bible. Then of course, there is the challenge to act accordingly following these guidelines. But just imagine the differences in our world if more people actually embraced and acted in accordance with the above three verses, alone.
I am sorry for your bad experience, A.. But next time, speak up.
Sympathetic,
K.