Dinnertime Fits

I would just remove him from the room and ignore. After a couple of times,
he will get the hint (hopefully). Then he should sit and eat. Worth trying.
Always worked with my kids.

I'd change things up a bit. Snack for dinner. Grab some bites and make it VERY informal in a different place. Maybe put it on the coffee table and see if the different setting helps. Is he in pain? Teething? Is this the only meal where this happens? Just change things up, drastically, and see if something different happens. Right now, I'd end the meal and take him outside and see if the screaming stops abruptly. You need to find the common thread. Good luck-this too shall pass... :)

I'm not sure why you are sitting there for an hour? If he doesn't want to eat then fine, excuse him from the table and I'm sure he'll be ready for a good breakfast in the morning.
At two their eating habits fluctuate wildly. They can go for days or even weeks without eating hardly anything, and then suddenly they are "starving" all the time and eating like a horse. I suggest getting a book on toddler/child development to help you understand where he is and what is reasonable to expect.
Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, and yet they all seem to come out just fine in the end :)

He's probably, over-tired, by the time dinner time is.
Kids often need to eat, earlier, than adults. For dinner time.

My kids, cannot eat, when they are tired.
Or are over-tired.

Try, not to make mealtime a battle.
Or they will learn, to hate it.
Based on the repeated approaches to it.

Or, IF you have him in a high-chair... then take him out.
MANY Toddlers, HATE high-chairs.
Just let him eat, at the table, on a regular chair or booster seat you put on top of the chair.
My kids, HATED high-chairs.
I hated them too.
My kids, always just knelt on the chair at the table or had a booster strapped onto the dining chair.

Or, get a kid sized table, and let him eat there.
MANY parents, do that too.
It is their, height.

Don't sit there for over an hour with him.
Let him go.

We never battle about eating or meal times or sitting at the table at mealtimes, with our kids.
So we don't have battles.
And they sit.
And they eat.
And if they are tired, they are tired.
Then they need to nap, earlier, or have dinner for them, earlier.

J., I've been there.
I have a child who has eaten every food on the planet. It's not the food. It's the boring factor at a busy stage.

I refused to fight this battle. I simply would NOT have our dinnertime be like that. If he wanted down, he was done. If he came back for a bite or two--fine.
He can always have milk, milk & cereal, fruit before bed.
If it's any consolation, in our case, it was a busy phase. It passed. He's 8 and has been sitting & eating at the table for years.
Good luck!

as soon as he does that, take him away from the table, tell him it is time for bed and put him to bed!!! trust me, 2 days tops and he will realize that if he wants to go to bed with a full tummy and happy then he will eat. that kind of stuff doesnt fly in my house. my 2 1/2 year has done that 2 times, and he learned real quick to eat dinner. same goes for lunch, if he doesnt want to eat lunch then he goes down for his nap without eating. nip this in the bud now, dont allow such unruly behavior.

You are letting him control the situation and in turn, you. Why? Course in our house we say "'Why' is a useless question". It ultimately doesn't matter why....as long as you continue to tolerate the behavior and allow him the control not only will it continue but it will get worse.

I don't know if this would work for your family as I'm sure you share parenting decision with your husband, but we don't demand the children eat. They are allowed to choose whether they eat or not. If not, fine. We don't argue about it, but when they inevitably whine about being hungry later, we remind them they were offered the opportunity to eat at family dinnertime, chose not to, and there will be breakfast in the morning (another opportunity to eat). We don't cook special dinners or requests - I'm not a short-order cook or a restaurant. Everyone gets the same meal. Not everyone likes the same things, thus if they'd rather be hungry than eat that's fine - more for us! :) We do have a few caveats - eg, if they want mac n cheese, they have to eat a defined portion of meat and green veggie first, if they want desert and it is offered they must have a defined portion of everything first, etc.

Don't worry if he chooses to eat nothing - he may not be hungry. He will be in the morning, though! If he chooses not to eat the breakfast you provide, he's still not hungry enough to be thankful for your provision either. When he gets hungry enough, he WILL eat - even if you're only sticking pureed beets in front of him every meal (which we don't do, but I gotta say - love roasted beets).

Also, if he snacks before dinner offer him things that may be part of the meal - like a plate of celery and raisins or raw green beans and carrots. That way if he chooses not to eat at the table, at least he's had something healthy. :) And trust me, by the time he's 11 or 12, you'll be WISHING you could save some money by having your tween son skip a meal instead of inhaling enough for four grown men!

Good luck Mama!

I have a two year old boy who also doesn't eat dinner. He eats a lot during the day though! I've been told that most toddlers get the calories they need during the first half of the day, so I make sure he has lots of healthy things available to him during the day. He loves fruit, yogurt, string cheese, cereal, crackers, turkey slices, etc. I don't make him eat dinner (however I do like him to at least sit at the table with the rest of the family), but I will tell him that he will not get any other snacks after dinner if he doesn't eat dinner. I'll let him have milk though. It's usually not a big issue. Maybe your son really isn't hungry. Or maybe it's a control issue. If I were you, I'd tell him - this is what's for dinner, eat it if you want, but if you don't then that's all for tonight. If he's hungry, he'll eat. Pick your battles. Good luck!

If you want to just do some behavior modification stuff then put the food in front of him, and if he starts to scream or even just refuses to eat then take him down from the table. Be super nonchalant about it and just tell him "We are here to eat. If you don't want to, go do something else." Then when he tells you he is hungry, put him back at the table with the same food and do the same process.
OR you could throw in some humor and reverse psychology (this works way better in my house and we all end up smiling instead of crying) - look at him and say with a twinkle in your eye "I sure hope you don't eat your dinner! I don't want you to grow up big and strong! I want you to be a baby forever, so NO EATING....." Most kids will gobble up everything in sight with a giggle. The next two years of parenthood will go so much better if you are able to take a deep breath, use humor and creativity, and enjoy your child's natural silliness.
Battles of wills or seeing who is more in control usually leads to a lot of frustration for everyone involved - especially at mealtimes.

Hi J.,
I feel your pain!! I have been through this with my son and I can tell you that it is not a battle worth fighting!!! Don't fight with him about it. I would offer him the meal, but as soon as he doesn't want to eat, take the food away. He will outlast you any day of the week and make you even crazier. Your son will not allow himself to starve so do not worry. When he is hungry, he will eat. I know how hard this is because you want him to eat and be healthy - you need to let it go. (Don't let him snack between meals or fill up on milk though, otherwise the natural process of him getting hungry for the next meal will not be there!) Best of luck to you!! You can send me a message any time and I'd be happy to commiserate with you. (:
Cyndi

.

could he be too tired?? sometimes at that age naps can get wonky, will he eat a big lunch, what snacks does he have before dinner???

when he starts put him down on the floor and ignore him while you all eat af he says he wants it put him up in the chair and let him eat if he doesnt want to eat right then so be it. when he says hes hungry put him back at the table with his plate and let him eat alone he will get the hint soon :)

I would say he is either too tired or not hungry. It has always been my conviction that you are required to offer your children a nutritious meal and they decide if and how much they will eat.
I am pretty consequent when it comes to this, some nights my daughter eats but two bites. I remind her that we won't have any snacks after dinner and she will have to wait until breakfast for her next meal.
There were a few nights (really maybe two) where she was testing boundaries and went to bed without touching her dinner, She did complain and cry that she was hungry and I stuck to my guns...she tried this twice and never since.
She does sometimes not eat a lot for dinner, maybe a quarter cup of food, but I know that she likes to eat at daycare and I think some nights she just isn't that hungry. So I leave a be and not make dinner a fight.
When she does not want to eat I will have her sit with us for a while and talk about our day before I excuse her from the table and ask her to play in her room and DH and I enjoy a quieter dinner.

Two year old children can be very picky. Relax, they really will eat when they are hungry enough. Don't make a big deal out of it. I have been a nurse for seventeen years. And we have never had one two year old starve himself to death. What we have had are lots of frantic moms who eventually realize that their two year will eat. Two is a funny age. Usually by four yrs they are a bottomless pit . ;). Please do not place him in time out. He is still a baby. I am sometimes amazed that some people take a child saying " No" personally. # 1. This is the age that they start to realize
they do have a voice. # 2. He does not have the cognition or verbal skills to politely say. " no thank you dear sweet mother. While I appreciate that this meal is made with much love and thought, I simply must tell you that my tummy has not quite caught up with my body". He will start to eat again. I promise. And before you punish your son, please call his pediatrician. I am sure she would disagree strongly with placing a two year old baby in time out.

Honestly, what I would do? Is ask him if he is ready to eat, and if the answer is "No" let him NOT EAT.

Just be sure he does not get sugary drinks during the day or food (liquid or solid) right before dinner.

I'll tell you what our ped just told us. You need to pick your battles. Is fighting over food really what you want to deal with on a daily basis? Try easing off for a month or two and then trying again to introduce more foods.
Our son is 4 now and has never really been a good eater. It literally feels like he eats absolutely nothing! He doesn't even want to try a food and we had gotten to a point where we would stop snacks at 2pm so that he would be hungry for dinner at 7. Neither DH nor I were really comfortable with this, though, since he is barely on the chart for weight and I can't have him losing more weight. It's a control issue for him since he would be asking for food all the way till it was time for dinner and then say he wasn't hungry and was fine with just drinking water. So, I talked to our ped about it and she said to ease off for a while. If he doesn't want what's for dinner, we let him have cereal or an instant breakfast or something that he likes and is at least mostly nutritious.
I also make sure he he gets extra vitamins by supplementing stuff that he does like. For instance, he loves spaghetti (thankfully he likes meat sauce or he would rarely eat any meat at all) and I puree vegetables and mix them into the sauce. He never realizes that they are there since all he tastes is the tomato. I also make smoothies. I shove as many fruits as I can in there (everything from avocados and berries to peaches and apples) and make sure that I also put it bananas and strawberries (which he loves in smoothies but will not actually eat) because those flavors are strong enough to cove any other flavors.

Also, I wouldn't keep him at the table that long. The bigger deal you make of it, the bigger the battle of wills it will be. He doesn't want it, fine. Let everyone else have a good meal.

regardless of what is actually driving him to this behavior, it is up to you to take control.

Do not beg, bargain, or negotiate. This is simply a case of teaching him to cooperate, to NOT throw fits, & to be a functioning part of the family. If he cannot comply & has refused to eat, then he is removed from the table & placed in time-out until you are finished with dinner. His plate is saved & offered again before bedtime (or when he's hungry). Eventually he will eat.

You cannot allow him to continue to rule your world. For the 2nd time tonight, I am recommending watching "1-2-3 Magic" video. It will save you!