Did You Ever Want to Get Way to Involved with a Post

Updated on September 29, 2011
J.M. asks from Doylestown, PA
21 answers

Ever since that father bathing his child post, I want to do nothing but call cps myself and make sure that child is ok. I wish there was a way we could make sure things like this were handled right.

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So What Happened?

thats what i thought, even if its innocent, which we know its not, then he'll J. have to proove himself innocent, no childs safety is worth the fear of hurting an adults feelings or relationship
rebecca let M. know what they say, i emailed and asked too
rosebud I kinda agree...shes doing it but think shes doing it so that her relationship stays in tact if she didnt care about anything else but the girls she'd call cps, instead of J. telling him not to cuddle b/c she might think its ok for other guys to. Bascially shes saying don't do it in front of M.....if he stops in front of her she'll ignore the fact hes probably continuing and put herself her daughter and that poor 7 year old in danger, and Seriously shes putting that kids whole future in the hands of her reading his reaction, who shes now for less than 2 years? does she think he might J. say yea i'm doing it??! he may be a great lier...shes not qualified for that, it should be professionals investigating not her saying don't bathe her so much...if it was her daughter i think shes want the gf to call her, atleast call the mom!

Featured Answers

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

I think the woman who posted the question intends to take care of the matter. It's comforting to know that she's not one of those women who puts her relationship over the welfare of the children.

5 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Yes, I am often deeply affected by a post.

I think it's awesome we can reach out and help, where there might not otherwise be any help at all, you know?

There are times when this site really shines.

:)

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

E.B.

answers from Seattle on

I have seen some hard posts here...but that one i think takes the cake.

I am a little beside myself as to why she has not called herself...love or not that is a child.

Sorry. I am not speaking ill of the mom...my heart goes out to her.

Bit if she is reading this...I urge you to call CPS or 9-11. That is something that needs to get looked into. Even if it terminates your relationship.

I am hoping her cry for help is taken seriously here.

8 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Redding on

I know! I didnt even do an input on that one cuz it bugged M. too much. :(

8 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I get involved sometimes...there are times I've reached out personally and did what I could to help out a fellow mama.

My problem with that post is it was her first post - I pray she's legit and not a troll - although it would ease my mind a heck of a lot more if she's a troll...because my stomach is in knots thinking about it....my ex stopped bathing our daughter at 5 and even then he was uncomfortable.

All I can do is pray that she's over reacting and it's nothing...God I would hate to think that another child will be harmed by their parent!!

5 moms found this helpful

♥.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Edited to Add: I NOW think it is fake as well! I hope they can track down this sick person!!!

I think that post has really upset all that read it today. I can't get it out of my mind. Thank you Rebecca for contacting customer service to see if they can step in. I'm curious as to what they say. Can you keep us informed too, somehow?

5 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

Prayers that this woman will contact the authorities.
Also Rebecca below did the right thing,at least she tried something proactive.
B. k

4 moms found this helpful

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

This place is anonymous for a reason. While I sympathise with the thought, I also believe it's more than likely not even real. It's a troll.

4 moms found this helpful

E.S.

answers from Asheville on

Teachers and doctors are required by law to report these things. If they don't, they can be prosecuted.

4 moms found this helpful
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B.C.

answers from New York on

I didn't read the post and couldn't find it but I am glad someone sent it to customer service. I think we all (well I don't want to speak for anyone else) so I will say M. can't help but want to get involved and offer help. That to M. is the basic element of child rearing I believe in the old adage it takes a village. We take care of all of our children together. A few weeks back there was a posting from a mom who was so down on her luck that she was considering put her child up for adoption because she simply could not provide for her and her child. My heart broke when I read it and I still think of that posting almost everyday. I think that's the positive side of this site is that although there maybe a little judgement from time to time on the responses we all are coming from a good place and J. want to help our other mom's out.

4 moms found this helpful
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V.V.

answers from Louisville on

I read that post, and it bothered M. as well. Of course, I'm a mandated reporter ... but still, the thought of anyone J. sticking around and "discussing" it with a boyfriend while their own child is potentially in harms way makes my insides spams in not-so-nice ways.

I used to moderate a forum, and we once had a poster who came on, making vague threats of suicide. Like this, everyone pretty much figured it was a troll, but it really bothered a few people. So the other moderators and I got in touch with the site owner. She didn't have a lot of identifying information (the poster had registered with a free email account) but she gave the police department in her city her IP address, along with the other info she did have. About 2 hours later, the police were knocking on her door. It turned about to be a teenage kid, and the police had a long talk with her parents about what she was posting online, why everyone was concerned, and how unsupervised internet access isn't the best thing for a 13 year old girl. So the situation got handled.

I'd much rather overreact in a situation like this, than blow it off. There are two children at risk here. I wish everyone would go report that post, and ask Mamapedia to forward all identifying information to the Logan, UT law enforcement and child welfare agencies. If it is J. a troll - well, I bet he/she won't be doing it again.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

I had extreme anxiety reading that post. I hope cps does get involved because I agree 100% with what you wrote in your "So What Happened".

There is a difference between calling cps on a tiny bit of suspicion and calling them on a LOT of suspicion. There are red flags all over the place with that man's behavior.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.K.

answers from Dallas on

I honestly don't believe that is a legit post. I have seen several from people with similar stories of father's/grandfather's being overly attentive or affectionate to young girls to the point of being abusive. They always give lots of details, not enough to cause it to get pulled but enough to make everyone get very upset. It is always someone who is new and it is their first or second post. I J. don't believe them anymore.

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Not in the least. First of all we don't even know if they are telling the truth. Second even if they are it is their choice to come to a board that they know gives them anonymity. Third you can't find them anyway.

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

Some things keep M. up at night. When someone tells us they are awaiting test results, or thier child is sick or posts about a lost loved one, it stays with M.. I say a prayer of protection over the moms and kids I read about here. Otherwise I would lose even more sleep over it.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

Here is the post and her uncomfortable 'follow up".....

http://www.mamapedia.com/questions/10906210897366286337

'm questioning this behavior as well. I've been seeing a guy whom I have increasingly come to love and have been investing my heart in. He has a 7 yr old daughter and I have a 2 yr old daughter. The first time I needed to change my girl in with him around, I went into her room to do it. I felt he didn't need to see that, but he came into her room and watched. Clearly I didn't need a supervisor so I thought it was awkward. Now I try to keep her covered to get my point across when he steps in as I'm changing her. But the more I spend time with him around his daughter, the more my concern grows. She's 7 and a lovely girl. But he seems to be weird about her, she's a very smart girl and she can do a lot on her own, he brags about how smart she is and takes pride in what she knows how to do, but he won't let her shower by herself. She's completely capable of doing it on her own and I think she probably wants to. We took the girls to my cabin and when it was bath time she really didn't want one. So I offered to let my girl bath with her. She loved that idea. So he scrubs her down with a lufa, I noticed extra focus on her girl parts (J. trying to be thorough?), I was J. surprised that he did it at all. I figured she's old enough to scrub herself. She was grumpy about it until I started distracting her from the bath ritual by talking to her and showing MY 2 YR OLD how to scrub herself. After the bath, and every shower for his 7 yr old, he lays her down as if to change her bum and puts her underwear on for her and gets her dressed and even still puts baby lotion on her. I J. thought that topped it off with being inappropriate. i don't think he needs to lotion her whole body or be putting her underwear on her still. She should do that herself. He's made her shower twice a day some of the times I've been around which J. seems weird! He insists on helping her and making sure the conditioner is rinsed out of her hair. I think she needs to learn to do it herself! When he tells her to pick out pj's and to get changed into her pj's he watches her from his room (across the hall) until she's done changing. Further, he's extra gropy with her. After I noticed some of these behaviors I started watching for them. When he picks her up I've noticed that he often scoops his fingers behind her bum and right to her girl parts! I don't see anything wrong with a dad patting his daughters bum but he really pats, rubs, slaps, and touches her bum a LOT and it J. seems more like a caress. Last night she was cuddling with M. and he reached around M. and started rubbing her bum calling her his beautiful baby and was getting too close for her comfort and SHE moved his hand from her bum to the side of her leg. I don't think she's exactly comfortable with it either. Then when we were taking her home to her mom's he gave her a bit of a guilt trip about not wanting to sit on his lap in the truck. I J. don't know what to think here. Am I being too paranoid or creating a problem out of innocent things? Maybe he's J. babying her? I feel that I need to protect MY daughter from this kind of behavior in case it IS wrong. I can't shake the feeling that it's J. down right inappropriate and needs to stop. I'm sure that it won't go to severe molestation or anything and that if someone said something I think he would cut it out but I don't want to jump to a nasty conclusion if I'm wrong either. Please give M. some feedback!

So What Happened?™

I want to tell EVERYONE thank you for the input! Because we had waited to incorporate our children into our relationship until we were sure about each other, the problem has SLOWLY surfaced. Which is why it has been hard to call. I thought I knew him better. I have been increasingly distant with him but have stuck around for her and have tried to be around as much as I can when he has her. I wanted to be sure to really observe the behavior before I came to a conclusion and that's when I had enough last night. I searched for answers for about 5 minutes when I found this sight, instantly created a profile to discuss the topic and have now, 35+ people to thank for the support. The 7yr old girl is actually sick today and will be staying home from school. I have asked him to bring her to M. while he works and I plan to talk to her about it. I plan to see if she wants to J. talk to M. while I bath my 2yr old while discussing how she's learning to bath herself then to find out how HER mother bathes her. I have to wonder if maybe HER mother is also still bathing her and so her dad (my boyfriend) thinks he should be? Either way I will talk to her about bathing herself and voicing to her daddy that she is a big girl and she wants to do it by HERSELF or that she can have M. help if I'm around. I will be talking with her, I will be comforting her and I WILL be sticking around until I know she is taken care of. No matter what I have developed with this guy previously, I would NEVER compromise my daughter or myself, which is why I asked and thank all of you for the input. It's a very nasty subject and a very BIG thing to accuse someone of and has to be handled with delicacy.
As for the groping and touching, I plan to tell him that this is inappropriate if he doesn't see that and discussing with him that he needs to develop boundaries with her in order to teach her what appropriate contact with the opposite sex is, no matter WHO it is. I will gauge his reactions and explanation if any and decide where to go from there. If I need to I will contact whomever needs to be contacted.

Thank you for the input! She will be taken care of.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.F.

answers from Salinas on

I too was grossed out by that post but I am now very sure it's a fake. When I first read it it didn't really sound like a Mom wrote it, something seemed off. If you look at the profile the poster has responded to only one other post and that too is dated today. The question they asked is exactly the same response that he/she posted previously. They J. cut and pasted the response and made it a question instead. Here's the kicker, the other question was posted in JUNE. What did they do search for a questions on that topic, respond and then because that was soooo much fun paste the exact same words into their question? I guess the upside is there are a lot of caring people out there that are concerned about all kids, yourself included. Don't let it bug you anymore!

2 moms found this helpful

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

I guess I missed this post. I even went back looking for it. From what I can gather though this child needs someone's help.

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I know I felt totally emotionally involved....

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B.C.

answers from Tampa on

I am so traumatized, when I read the post I remember this disturbing movie I can't think of the name, years ago( brain freeze) about this little girl being kidnapped on the way to school. There were two kids in the hands of these monsters a black little boy and a white little girl s e x t r a f f i c k I n g I really want to contact FBI and have mamapedia release her info.

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M.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes. I even PM'd someone once. The response was that they were a little creaped out that I had emailed them to make sure they were okay.

The poster to the child bathing post updated her What Happened.. She's going to talk to the girl.

2 moms found this helpful
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