Did I Miss Something?!

I hate to say this, butttttt this is so common in grade school. And the principles usually don't call the parents. Since you are simi new to these situations Right now is the time to let all school authoritys know you are paying attention and won't stand for this kind of attitude. I had to tell the school dist. I contacted a lawyer it was the only way to get their attention.

My 6 y/o rides the bus to school too and if this had happened to him and I was not notified I would be livid. Any time a child puts his/her hands on someone in a rough/bullying manner it needs to be dealt with.

OK... take a deep breath. There is a good chance that your son didn't do anything to provoke the situation, but then again he may have. Keep that in mind, especially if the two have not had issues before. It is also possible that it was an accident that got out of hand.

If the principal spoke to both children and both were fine (physically and emotionally), you would not get a phone call. Truthfully, people who do not work in schools have no concept as to how hectic they are... phone calls to say "XYZ happened and everything is fine" simply don't happen unless there is a history.

M. B, I would not be upset that your son was moved to the front of the bus. This wasn't punishment - this is to protect your son. He is little and should be at the front of the bus.

You should read your school's or district's handbook before the principal returns your call to find out what their policy is for contacting parents regarding bus incidents. Also, find out what the policy is for punishing wrong-doing on the bus.

Though my opinion counts for nothing, I think the school should have informed you about the incident. I don't blame you for being upset. The biggest thing is that I would demand that they call the 4th grader's parents and tell them what he did and give him a big consequence at school if he messes with your son anymore.

Good luck, Mama Bear!
Dawn

At this point, I would write a letter to the principal that is short, polite and direct, saying that you understand the incident has already been dealt with but in the future, you want to be notified directly if there are any similar "hands-on" incidents on the bus or anywhere else, and you want to be notified the day of the incident. Don't get lengthy or angry; that will only cause the principal, possibly, to label you as "one of those troublesome parents" who then get ignored. Sadly, that does happen. I suggest sending an e-mail but also a letter, and ask for a reply acknowledging receipt of your letter. You should have the letter and the reply filed where you can get to them if something else happens. Let's hope you never need them.

Also, I bet you do this already, but reinforce with your son that it's OK to yell, "Don't touch me! You are not allowed to touch me!" ANY time or ANY place ANYone is touching him. Not just adults, but kids too, even kids he's afraid of at that moment. That would alert the bus driver or teacher, and certainly might get the kid who's harming him to stop, if your son is very loud and firm. Rehearse it with him so he hears his own yelliing voice. We tell kids not to yell all the time -- so it helps to tell them explicitly that it's right to yell certain things in some circumstances. Good luck.

I read some of the answers and agree with most...one thing I wanted to re-iterate (and was told to me by my sister who is a teacher) Stand up for your child...if you don't then who will! If you feel more should have been done, address it now! It's ok to be MAMA BEAR sometimes!!!

Oh Lord! Yes, I definitely think you should have been told. Do you see the bus driver at drop off or pick up? Did he have opportunity to tell you?
Little confused by "he did not do anything and that he also spoke with the principal" The bus driver or your son?

Just relax, this stuff happens all the time on the bus. Your son is fine, and will continue to be fine. Sounds like the bus driver handled it. She put your son up front so she could watch out for him. We did the same thing with my son last year when he was having similar problems.
There's just something about the bus that makes some kids go wild and start hitting eachother. Does your son have a big brother or good friend on the bus? If so I would ask them to stick together on the bus. There's strength in numbers.

Yes, you should have been notified. Good luck!

I would think that there should have been a note from the bus driver and also one from the school since the principal got involved. But then again, sometimes I think I have too high of expectations for America's public school system. Isn't it sad we send our kids off to school for about 8 hrs a day and don't know what goes on with them. Then something like this happens and the mom is told, there's too many kids, how can we be expected to report all incidents? Rubbish!!

I'm sorry this happened to your son. I would be irate too!!

You should have been notified by the school and your son should have told you right away. I bet the principal though that since a 6 year old came to talk to him that you had told him to do so. Usually 6 year old don't tell the principal before they tell their parent. The school should not assume but I bet they did in this case. I am a teacher (27 yrs) so I see a lot of what goes on in schools.

I think you have every right to be upset. At 6 years old any conversation with the principal or a physical incident such as this should be reported to parents!

I can't comment on the notifications or who did what... but it might be a good thing that your son is sitting up front now. She will be able to keep bigger/older kids from bullying him. My son only rode a bus for a VERY short time (a few weeks in 6th grade!) and he hated it. There was SO much misbehavior. He actually decided on his own to sit right up front behind the driver so that he didn't get in trouble for what the other kids were doing!

Sadly this is the way schools are doing things now. I would go in there and talk to the principal. Then I would ask why the 11 year old wasn't given an assigned seat, but your child, who is the VICTIM in this case was. A few years back my daughter in 2nd grade was being harassed by 2 boys at school. One day in the cafeteria the principal himself heard these two tell my daughter how they wanted to have sex with her and we were never called by the school. We found out from our daughter. When my husband marched into the principals office he was told the reason we didn't get called was because the boys come from bad homes and the principal felt he has to protect those kids. So sadly, that is how things are. That was the last year my daughter attended public school. Because it is not getting any better.

Some schools feel if they responded to the situation and your child wasn't injured they don't have to inform the parent. Depends on the school I think. My son's school will call with any situation and I am informed of the goings on prior to him coming home. I would definitly ask why you were not informed and also ask if the offender was spoken to and warned about his behavior as well as telling his parents. Good luck, I feel your frustration.

Go up to the school right now and get a face to face if you can. The school didn't tell you b/c they hoped to avoid a conflict. Go give them a conflict! Your 6 yo son was physically abused by an 11year old!

I think you should get and should expect to get a phone call from the principal. If he/she doesn't call you, call them. Make sure you call them out on not contacting you about the matter. Let them know that you expect a call from a teacher or them what there is a matter such as this involving your son. He has a few more years at that school(I'm assuming) so nip it in the bud now.

Don't be surprised if the principal tells you it is a not a "school" problem!