Are We Asking Too Much of the School?

No, you're not asking too much. When I taught pre-school, if a child did ANYTHING to another child, I recorded it and let a parent know as well as how it was handled whether that be filling out a report, apology, help clean up or whatever. This is just good business communication as well as respect for the child and parents.

She got hit with a pencil and needed an icepack... this would not warrant a phone call from the nurse. Yes, you are asking too much. She wasn't bleeding and there probably wasn't a bump, no need for stitches or suspected "head injury".

If school nurses called home with each icepack they dolled-out they would be on the phone all day. If you have ever spent time in the school nurse's office the place is like Grand Central Station b/w kids with meds, bleeders, kids throwing-up, insulin monitoring, monitoring lice, monitoring student BMI, vision & hearing screenings, maintaining the health records and calling doctors, parents bringing in notes and physicals (in many schools the nurse is responsible for "sick note collection") I am amazed that they are still greeting each visitor with a smile and "what's wrong?" that is genuine.

These women (and men) are there to make sure that the children get the medical attention that they need. If your child was really hurt, they would have called you. My guess is that your daughter was more upset by the kid throwing pencils (which is an issue that should be addressed by the teacher) and the ice pack made her feel better in general.

My son has been injured in preschool several times and have gotten one phone call mid-day when he lodged a rock up his nose and I needed to take him to the doctor. I don't get a mid-day call when he knocks his head against the bookcase and gets a bump, nor do I expect one. When I get home and ask about his day (he's 2), he'll tell me that "I got hurt and got a ice pack" (his words, not mine). The ice pack works miracles and is more of a panacea than a real "treatment". I expect a phone call if my son is ill or seriously injured, not for every bump and bruise. That's unrealistic, especially in an elemenatry school setting.

My guess is that if she was really injured they would call you. Your daughter was upset about getting hit with a pencil (understandable) but unless the other child has a seriously high velocity throw, she probably wasn't actually really hurt, and the ice was more psychological than physical.

There's probably one nurse to take care of a few hundred children, some of whom have serious medical needs (asthma, epilepsy, daily medication regimens for serious illness) and if that nurse spent time calling home for every minor incident, there'd be no way she could do what she's actually there to do. Similarly your daughter has one teacher to watch probably 20+ kids; if she stopped to call home for every classroom incident, who would be teaching the rest of the kids?

I do think it's reasonable to expect that a call would go home for something "big" (bleeding, large bruise, really upset stomach, etc) but more than that is unreasonable.

I think unless its serious its not the schools job to tell you when your child falls or gets a little boo boo. I think it's perfectly acceptable for my child to tell me that she fell and scrapped her knee or whatever. I do think that the school and teachers have enough to deal with to notify every parent when something small and trivial happens to their children. We do get a note home every time they go to the nurse, it's a copy of the hall pass to the nurse. But also I think some of it is really ridiculous like my daughter got a bug bite.

I think that if every time a student went to the nurses office and the nurse had to make a phone call to the students home then the nurse would be on the phone all day. Kids go to the nurses office all the time and usually its just to make them feel better not because they are hurt. Its kind of like when you kiss a boo boo, it doesn't fix it but it makes your kid feel better.
Maybe you could tell your daughter to ask for a call home next time she has to go to the nurse.
I have 3 boys in elementary right now so maybe thats why I don't worry about the little bumps and trips to the nurses office any more.

i think in your case esp, since your child was injured by someone else, they should just mention it to you. for her to go to the nurse, im sure she was upset. lets just say.... this one kid hit her on purpose. then lets say, he keeps throwing things at her, or pushes her, but never ends up a real injury. is no one going to mention an ongoing issue either?

I am curious to hear what is your school's policy. At my son's school, the nurse is required to tell the parents of any trip to her office. She usually calls and leaves a message on the phone. I think it is important to know because sometimes things don't manifest immediately. What if your child was stung by a bee, never had allergic reaction before, seemed fine at the nurse, and blew up like a balloon at home. If your child does not say something, you would have no idea what was happening. Hopefully the nurse just forgot to send home a message.
C.

Sometimes the kids go to the nurse for non-issues. Like my son went 2 times on Wed. , once for hitting his lip with a folder and once for a headache. I got a call about the headache, but not about the superficial hitting of the lip with a paper folder although they did give him an ice pack :). It could be that there was no injury so they didn't call. My son will also go down for a cough drop now and then and they don't call me either.

I had a very similar post earlier this week. Our child went to the nurse after an incident with a bully left a goose egg on his head. Aside from the bullying issue...We were almost more concerned that we got no note from the school that an injury was reported and treated. We have ALWAYS gotten a notice no matter how minor the injury.

So I contacted the school and it was just a total mis-communication. My child had a 1/2 day sub that day who didn't know the procedure and thought the notice would handled by someone else, blah blah blah. But heck...What if D hadn't remembered to tell me he got Tylenol at lunch and I gave him a dose before the 6 hour effect window had worn off?!

So no...Not too much to expect and if fact, is probably in their written policies and someone just dropped the ball.

In our school district every time a child went to the nurse, even in high school, the parents were notified or a phone call was made home and message left. It is just common courtesy. I got a few phone calls that just said she or he was treated and sent back to class, no need to worry.

My daughter went to one school for K and 1st grade and I didn't get a call when sh egot hurt. A boy was even hitting her repeatidly in P.E. and I didn't get a call. At the school this year, I have gotten 3 calls already. My daughter has fallen twice at recess and has been okay, but they call to tell me to expect she is coming home a litlte banged up. And my son (in kindergarten) fell once at recess and banged up his knee. But again, he was okay and sent back to class. Regardless, at this school my kids haven't stepped foot in the nurses office without me getting a call. It's the way it should be. I would definitely encourage your child's teacher, nurse, etc to give you a call if she ever gets hurt.

I agree with you I think you should write a letter to the principal saying you want to be notified when your child goes to the nurse even if they think she is hurt or not. How hard is it to write a short note and ask you to call if you have any questions? They could call you back when they got a few min or right after the kids left to go home.

My middle daughter has Autism and I have been having problems with the school, and up to the district level, DOE and they tell me when she goes to the nurse. I'm not sure if it is becasue of the level I am taking my concerns to, I threw over her educational needs not being met long story. Last week she had a problem on the class trip and he sent me an email the other day to apologize for not telling me the day it happened. I wasn't upset becasue she was okay but I am happy he told me. At the very least it shows me they care about the kids/families enough to notify they when things happen regarding their kids.

Also not all kids can or will tell you what happened during the day. They should not be allowed to determine who gets a note just write something short and to the point.Mr/ Mrs. ? Your daughter/son was in the nurse's office today for a bee sting, fell on playground, whatever. Please call Mr/Mrs. if you have any questions. You know what, that took 30 seconds of my time.

I would think any time a child ends up in the nurses office they should inform you. It seems a little strange that you werent.

I was sent home with an inncodent report a "quick" carbon copy paper that the nurse filled in the blanks something like
Your Child ___________ came to the nurse office today for _________ handled it by doing __________ child had no further compaints.
signed _________
I am sure there is more info on that type of form that is already filled out that is circled or fill in or whatever but it would be something that the nurse would fill out and send back to class with your child to bring home. I know day care centers use forms like these all the time too.

Unless the pencil drew blood or was a major event that included crying, trauma, or other hysteria, I really don't believe there is a need to notify the parents. I mean, she's fine...it was a pencil...did it penetrate the skin or poke out an eye? Then honestly it really is no big deal.

If the nurse had to call or notify every parent for every child who came through her doors, she'd be doing that all day long. Notification for bloody noses, headaches, simple scrapes or bumps, bee stings, etc honestly really are not necessary and I would not be upset if I wasn't notified if it happened to my kid.

Yes, I agreeand would want to know too Mom. I dont think it is policy to notify parents in public schools though unless the injury is a serious one. I worked 4 yrs recently as a teachers asst and unless a child had a more serious injury or became sick in class the parent was called just sent a note.The kindergaren teachers I worked 4 always sent children home with a pre-printed " I visited the school nurse for..." or Principal..... note was sent home w/ parents if a child had to go to the nurse or to see the Principal for any reason. THe parent was called by the nurse when there was a more serious injury besides a small cut or bump. It might be wasier for the teacher to send you an e-mail when this happends. To request this I woud send her.him and email msg requesting this and it might be better to also ss the Principal, asking that you be notified with a note or an e-mail in the future if your child is sent to the nurse/front office for any reason. THis request is not out of the ordinary and should be honored without incident. I would also ask the question of how the child who through the pencil was reprimanded too, they wont tell you who did this , (your child will tell you I'm sure ) but you deserve to know this as it is a form of bullying. Hope this helps mom.

My son goes to the nurses office every time he gets "hurt" for an ice pack. It's a break away from school. I work night shift and sleep during the day. I would be annoyed if they called me as often as he went in first grade. I'm serious, if he was having a bad week it was at least once a day.
On the other hand, if it's something serious, or he is in multiple days in a row, or another child caused harm to mine, the teacher has shot me an email, or the nurse called late in the afternoon to say that he had been in multiple times and seemed like he was more worried about something than "Sick" or "hurt".
I leave it up to the school to inform me when they seem it's something bigger than just a visit to the nurse. I have yet to find a time when I didn't agree. I'm pretty much an overprotective mom. He is in second grade and he still doesn't play outside alone without an adult. But I also know that there are days he cries over dropping his penscil.
In your situation, I wouldn't have expected anything from the nurse. She was probably just helping your daughter feel better. Ice pack gets her out of her office faster so she does not get sick from one of the other kids. I would have except a letter or email or phone call from the teacher though because of the nature of the event.

I think that is reasonable, and if I am not mistaken, most schools have incident reports that are internal documents that they keep when ever a child is injured at school, for thier own legal protection, and it just seems logical that they would also notify the parent of the incident.

I have an odd perspective on this, as two of my autistic children attend a charter school for kids on the spectrum, and in my opinion, that school is much less apted to send me a notificiation that something has happened to my child at school, because they handle everything so well, and I don't worry about it much.

The public school my typical child atteneds has a more hit and miss record. Sometimes they report, and sometimes they do not, and it seems to me that they report when they really know it was something to take seriously, or when the actual nurse is the one who saw the child, and sometimes, they just don't think it was a big deal, or the person who gave them the ice pack was a sub, or a secretrary who does not know that there is any need to notify, when the nurse would have more experience in knowing when to do so. It is hard to tell sometimes what really happened, and if the ice was a for the child's injury, or if the incident seemed to the nurse or to who ever gave out the ice, to be more of an amusement. One of my childre was a regular in the nurses office, and you may not know if your child fits into this group. They really are different at school than they are at home. Not suggesting anything here, just that kids are kids, and stuff happens, and teachers and school officials are imperfect and don't always see what we want them to everytime.

If you think it was a true injury, and that you should have been notified, by all means, find out what the policy is, and let them know that one slipped by, but take into account all the other stuff that could be going on here too, the nurse, and your teacher will both aprreciate that!

M.

I think the school should notify the parents, with a note or phone call. I really can't recall a time when my kids were hurt at school. My older kids I know have went to the nurses office when they haven't felt good, but that's not the same. I know my daughter is now if high school and if she misses her class I will get a call from the school, which period she was missing (unless she has been excused). One time I jumped her about it because it was like 5 or 6th period and another teacher had them miss that period and supposedly cleared it with the other teacher, however, I still got the call. So then I have to contact both teachers and the front office. Not that I think she would skip school, but I pressed her about it, and she said I would skip just one period...
I would be upset too!

You are not asking too much
but as a prior 1st grade teacher please keep this in mind
Your child may be making it up.
I had a child tell her parents a boy hit her at school and that was why she had a swollen eye and that I did nothing.
However the truth is that I noticed the eye when she arrived at school and my aide and I questioned her. She said she got bit by a bug at her aunts house the night before.
Her parents were irrate. -- instead of talking with me first went to the board etc.
When he called to complain and yell at me I told him the story I got. He said well yes she did stay all night with my sister. I encouraged him to call his sister. I got a call later that night apologizing.
This little girl had never lied I was shocked!
Long story short sometimes kids make up thing to get attention.
Don't be upset until you get the entire story.
It may have happened and they sent a note that got left on the bus. etc.
Or it could you have every right to get upset but please first
do a little investigating:)

I bet it was some sort of over sight. I know here in Austin, the schools do contact parents if their child is sent to the nurse in elementary schools.

I am on the fence with this one.

The teacher could literally be on the phone all day calling just letting you know "Johhny threw a pencil and bonked Sally on the head but there is no bump, redness, blood, or anything, I'm just letting you know"...then calling Johhny's mom to tell her that Johhny is acting out in class and has hit another student with a pencil that he chose to throw.

If that pencil had caused her to bleed, have a big knot, a cut, anything like that then I would be at that school throwing the biggest fit ever that they had not called me. But if I worked and phone calls disrupted my work place and I could get fired then they better not call me unless it's an emergency.

So, I am on the fence, if it's an injury and not just an incident I want to know. If medical treatment/first aid is needed then I want to see an incident report detailing the care they received.

All licensed prescools and Family Child Care Homes in the state of Ohio are required to send an "Incident Report" to the parents for every incidnet that happens during the child's stay. I would think that schools would have the same requirement. I do know that all school personell are busy but a form already preprinted with a few lines for the specific incident would help parents stay informed.

If its something minor then I don't want a phone call just because kids get hurt all the time. If he gets hurt by another kid, I would like a call if it leaves a big gash on his forehead or something big like that. My son gets nose bleeds pretty often, so I don't care for a phone call. Something major, then yes I would like a call. its usually the school nurse that calls. His school calls for every little thing even when his behavior is just a little bit off. For some things, I don't know what they want me to do because they were going to keep him in school because he was fine.

I don't think your asking too much. I have co-worker who wants to be informed of everything that happens even if its a paper cut. If she doesn't get informed then she calls up the school and yells at them.

At my child's school, in order to go to the nurse's office from class, a form has to be filled out as to why the teacher is sending them to the nurse's office. Then the nurse fills out the other half as to what she has done. It is a two-copy carbonless form, and we get the copy. So we get notified for every cut, bruise,and ice pack if my son remembers to pull it out! He has frequent nosebleeds, and I get one everytime he has a nosebleed. I would hate it if the teacher/nurse had to call me every time. I think for minor things, this paper note is fine. Then if I have concerns, I can contact the teacher/nurse and get more info.
So a note every time is very reasonable, a call, not so much.
R.

I'm a school nurse at an elementary school (in addition to being an ER nurse). I know people have the impression that we sit around and just deal with whatever happens at school, but that's not the case. I'm always completely swamped with mandatory screenings, reviewing immunization records, planning care for children with chronic issues, attending case conferences etc. I don't always notify parents when something has happened. The times when I do notify them is when I feel that there is a need for monitoring or follow-up. If a kid gets hit with a thrown pencil, but it doesn't hit the eye, there isn't really any chance of a significant injury. The mechanism (force with which it could be thrown) isn't enough to cause any serious problems. If a kid falls off the playground equipment and hits their head I do call because the parents should monitor the kid to make sure there isn't a head bleed that I can't detect at school. It's a difference in severity of injury. I'd love to have the time to talk to every parent about their kid, but I simply don't. I'm sorry :(

I personally feel that the school has a responsibility to their students and the families they serve to give notification of such incidents. It certainly is not asking too much from the school for such notification. You did the right thing in requesting that you are notified in the future of any injuries, bullying or anything else that puts your child's health and safety at risk. Even if your child was in high school, the school should inform you of incidents that interfere with your child's educational environment. As long as she's a minor, you have a right to know what is going on with your child at school.