Developing friendships, is it hard for me?
You know how there are different types of intelligence? How some folks connect to life and learn through music, or through mathematics, or through mechanics, or through their body (dance/sports/etc.), etc? I'd say my strength is in connecting with people. I learn through communication, and through interaction. I'm geared that way. I can read through a book, for example, and it's not until I talk about it that it really gels and explodes in my mind. I learn a lot about myself, through hearing other's experience.
For me, deep, lasting friendships are imperative. My women friends are like sisters to me. I get so much strength and joy from our friendships. I am truly rich in friendship and community, and it feeds my heart. I feel close to people (and them to me, I think) fairly quickly.
I don't think everyone operates the same way as I do. I think many people connect with and learn from the world in different ways. What works for one person (and is important to one person) might not be a priority or a necessity for another person.
Kind of an extreme example: I have a friend who rarely leaves his apartment. He is not married, he doesn't have children, and his friendship circle is small. He is, however, always in a math equation. His brain is always spinning and working through the next line on the page. He understands the world through mathematics. He's self taught, and just GETS it. It's how he can understand himself, and his world around him. It's beautiful. And it's not how I am geared. It's neat though, 'cause he'll teach me things about the universe that are wild-exciting. Quantum physics? Yah, he can actually grok it. So cool.
Some folks are really fed by interacting with children/their children. That's how they learn about the world and connect. It's not JUST that they love their children (and their spouse), but in interacting with children, they find their *contact* point, their strength, and where they excel. Also, so cool. Also different than for me.
My sister connected with animals. She was a connected, light person while on horseback.
I have a friend who makes music that brings tears to my eyes. That's how he connects.
And so on...
We are really different creatures, and I think it's neat if we're able to understand what get's us connected and dive in. Also, we're not limited to just THAT. We all have lot's of connecting points, just sometimes we excel (and/or prioritize) different things. For me, social interaction is imperative, but that's not true for everyone. So, for me, making friends and staying close is how I work. It's impossible for me not to, because it's not how I'm geared. If it isn't that way for you, and if you don't feel like something is missing, well, that's just fine. It sounds like interacting with children/your children is really a point where you excel and connect. Which is fantastic!