Your Best Friend?

Yes, lots of moms have close friends or a "best friend." In fact, there is research that suggests women who have a close friend (or friends) are happier and healthier!

This is a great question. I just recently reconnected with my best friend from childhood. We have known each other since we were 4 years old. We grew up on the same street and her family treated me like I was part of their family. I'm so glad I reconnected with her. She lives in a different state than me, so we're not close by, but she's really the only BF I've had over the years. I also got to see her just a few weeks ago. We are so close that it was just like no time had passed between us. I'm so thankful for her friendship and I know she would be there for me if I needed help.

I also have a guy friend that I have known for a very long time. He and I just clicked from the start....never any romantic feelings, we just hit it off like big buddies. I feel like I can talk to him about anything without him judging me. It's also nice to have him as a friend when I want a guy's perspective on something. He was my friend before my hubby and I met, so my hubby met him and also worked with him occasionally and my husband understands that he and I are friends and he doesn't have any problem with it.

When my guy friend found out his 1st wife was cheating on him, I was the first person he told. I think he really appreciated having a female perspective throughout the whole ordeal. I was glad to be there for him.

Then there have been other people in my life that I thought were pretty close friends, but it was only convenience that made us friends. Once there was a change (job position change, having kids, didn't need me anymore), the person who I thought was a really close friend was gone. These situations have been difficult, but I've learned a lot.

I have two best friends, one from 8th grade the other 9th. I can't imagine life without either of them. I also find that it is way harder to make really good friends now, than it was when I was younger.

Oh yes. I have 3 best girlfriends. We've been best friends for almost 20 years. We actually have matching tattoos. Believe it or not, we just got them about 3 years ago. We each have the same little 4 leaf clover on the backs of our necks. You only see it if we have our hair up. We're always talking about how lucky we are to have the friendship we have, so we wanted to commemorate that somehow. =0) I don't know what I'd do without my girls!!!!!!! Each month, we have a Girl Day. We do simple things....sometimes as simple as going to a kid free house and renting movies and ordering pizza in our jammies! LOL We really do work hard to make time for eachother. I think that's why our friendship is so rare. We all have different lives......husbands, kids, jobs, boyfriends, etc. We've seen eachother thru many things. Death, divorce, disease...........My girls know more about me than most people. Their friendship is priceless and I treasure it!

My best friend in the whole world is someone that you would NEVER imagine becoming best friends with! Her name is Debbie and I met her 17 years ago. I was dating her son! After I stopped seeing him I realized over the two years I had forged a strong bond with his mom, helping her move and helping her deal with major issues that were going on in her life. We have remained the best of friends, we talk almost daily and we visit as often as we can (I moved a good distance away from that area but we STILL remained good friends even after that!!) I am very thankful for my best friend. She is always there and I am always there for her! I can tell her anything and vice versa. Everyone needs a best friend to weather the storms of life with, someone you can tell anything and not be judged, no matter how old you are or where you are in life. If you are a mom you need a best friend to show your kids that friendships are important.

I have quite a few good friends but it took me a while to get them. I had my work friends and then I quit my job and all of a sudden I didn't have anyone to talk to and I felt very lonely. I started a ladies group at my church and also became more active in volunteering and voila! I made a bunch of good friends, most of whom I can talk with about anything. I also started back to school to finish my degree and made a couple really good friends through study groups. I am not an outgoing person when meeting new people so I really had to step out of my comfort zone to make new friends, it is so worth it. The friends I have now are the kind I'll have for a lifetime. Things you could try to develop some friendships: go to a moms group, join a class, invite an acquaintance out for lunch, and volunteer somewhere.

No, and am looking also. Its great to have your husband, but you need that confidence also in a woman. It seems everyone already has a best friend that I find. I just do whatever and figure that I at least have friends and that should be all that matters.

My BFF and I have been friends for years. I think we need someone else to talk to other than our husbands. Besides do you really want to talk to your husband about the things that he does that annoy you? I don't!

My husband and I just had a conversation about this last night. We are each other's best friend and outside of family don't have anyone else to socialize with. I will freely admit that this makes me sad and makes life feel a bit harder at times but I don't say that to devalue my husband's or my extended family's reltionships, I love them and wouldn't trade our bonds for anything. So no I don't have a BFF connection with anyone else right now like I did in school or when I was single. I am still friends with several girls from different periods in my life but we are very far apart and living our own very different everyday lives. I will reconnect with one or two every once in a while (Yea for Facebook!) and it is great but I do wish there was someone close who I could see/talk to everyday.

yes, I have 2 girl friends that are my best friends. They do not judge me and they both have kids so my kids have someone to occupy their time while we talk. I would not trade it for anything. I did not have that in school, so it means that much more to have it now.

I do indeed have a Best Girlfriend. I have been friends with her since college. It is not uncommon for us to talk to each other 6 times in one day. We can also go a week or more with out talking if life gets busy, and that's ok too. What I love about her friendship is she is always with me never against me and vice versa. After so many years we have a loyalty to each other that is one in a million. If we tell each other we are out of line or wrong on something, we know we are because it happens so far and few between. What's nice about this friendship is that we understand each other. If she has to suddenly cancel plans or if I forget her kids birthday, it's not the end of the world, no hard feelings, life just happened is what we say. In the 12 years since we have been friends our lives have taken us far apart and then back together many times. I would encourage you to try and form some new bonds with other moms in your area. I love my husband to death, but it's not the same as a girlfriend.

I have a couple of best friends, but they certainly aren't to the degree as I had when I was younger. We have active lives, so I only see one once a month and the other every few months to catch up, with scattered emails and texts in between. These are friends I've had for ages -- one since high school in the 80s and the other was my second college roommate in 1989.

I'm still friends with my best friend from highschool. Although we live in separate states and we don't talk as often as we'd like, when we do it's like we never were apart. We do plan vacations together with our spouses (who are also best friends) and keep in touch with email and try to catch up on the phone. I consider myself very lucky to have a few very close friends that I've known for a long time!

I'm lucky to still have my BFF from high school. And we still have that relationship where we can tell each other everything and not judge each other. I really do value our friendship and I know she does too! Especially now that we're both married with kids, we often call each other even if it's just to get each others quick option about something, and we always have each others back no matter what. Again... it's a relationship that I truly value!

I don't really have anyone I consider my best friend (other than hubby!). I do have a really good friend that I've been friends with since we were in the 9th grade. As far as after high school, she is the only one that I have remained in contact with, at least off & on.

The kicker? We've never met in person! We met online & would chat a lot through high school. We are now both on Facebook as well. We've talked online, on the phone, and through text. But still have never met. She lives in Missouri while I live in Alabama! :)

But I love having her as a good friend. She's out of my "loop" of family & friends here where I live, so I am so comfortable talking to her about ANYTHING. I can complain about someone or whatever, and she's not going to say anything to anyone because she doesn't know these people! haha

Since high school I've just never been very good at making & keeping good friends. All of my friends are just the people I work/worked with. Even then they are usually 20+ years older than me, male or female. I dunno how that happens, but I get along with them pretty well! haha But we usually don't do anything outside of work.

I have 3 BFF's that I can talk to about anything and everything. One is my best friend from HS and the other 2 I met after my husband and I got married. I wouldn't trade having them to share things with for anything in the world.

I have my best friend from 6th grade, about 21 years :) I also have some very good friends and three sisters. It does help to be able to have that friend you can go to. Husband is not always the same :( Maybe you can meet mom's at your kids school? Or connect with an old friend on facebook?

I had 2 best friends but they each moved on. I am still here around the same area. My mom is my best friend. We hang out, go do things, and talk over anything we want to. I long some times for another friend like I had when I was younger but it is hard to meet some one outside of the computer these days.

It is essential that you cultivate close friends. Men in general and your husband specifically can not be everything to you. I have two friends that I have kept close since H.S., one from college and then I made a few really good friends when we all had babies together and now 20+ yrs later they are my lifeline. We are there for each other. I do not know where I would be without all of my friends.
Take the time to be a friend and to make friends, it is one of the best gifts in life.

Updated

It is essential that you cultivate close friends. Men in general and your husband specifically can not be everything to you. I have two friends that I have kept close since H.S., one from college and then I made a few really good friends when we all had babies together and now 20+ yrs later they are my lifeline. We are there for each other. I do not know where I would be without all of my friends.
Take the time to be a friend and to make friends, it is one of the best gifts in life.

Updated

It is essential that you cultivate close friends. Men in general and your husband specifically can not be everything to you. I have two friends that I have kept close since H.S., one from college and then I made a few really good friends when we all had babies together and now 20+ yrs later they are my lifeline. We are there for each other. I do not know where I would be without all of my friends.
Take the time to be a friend and to make friends, it is one of the best gifts in life.

My 2 best friends are honestly the only friends I really have. I have a few other people I talk to but not like the other 2. I have been best friends with Megan since we were 5 yrs old, we are both 27 now and with Kelly since we were 16. I am going through a divorce now and I miss the friendship I had with him, but without my girls I would be a wreck!

Yes, but they are both friends I made from before kids. One actually IS my best friend from highschool... and the other is a very dear woman (older than my mum) I met over 10 years ago.

The few close friends I've made since becoming a mom, are just on a totally different level of friendship. GREAT, amazing people... but I just don't have the time/freedom to really develop them into more meaningful relationships. They also tend to be either gay or couples or both.

I make acquaintances easily (I'm not shy at ALL), but I AM both pressed for time and introverted (Actual definition, meaning howevermuch I enjoy people it uses a lot of energy, instead of replenishes my energy. So when I spend a couple hours with people, I then need a few hours to recharge. As opposed to extroverted people who gain energy from being around others, and being alone is tiring for them).

i have 2 good friends and a husband, but no BFF. and i think that's because for me to feel they are a BF they really have to be involved in my daily life and I in theirs. And it think it helps if you go through a crisis together. Catching up with someone every month or so just doesn't do it, and i have so much going on that i can't invest in any sort of daily chitchat right now. Life is going ok and while i would love to have a friend to hang out with, I feel like that would take alot of time way from my husband, kids job and me time. Maybe it's an introvert extrovert type thing?

I have two truly best friends. One lives here and the other lives in another state. Each of them add value to my life. I don't get to really see either of them much (crazy schedules) but we talk every day if not every week. Since I have been friends with one for over half my life and the other for over ten years, we can just cut right threw to the chase and don't really have to dress things up or down. We can be true, transparent and raw with each other. We have been through so very much.

However my husband holds the crown of MOST TRUSTED CONFIDANT. He is simply awesome and even when he has tarnished some of his lustre I can still talk to him about it which is why he holds the crown but I still need my girls.

Besides my sisters, mom & hubby..Nope

All the people I thought were my "Best" friends over the years are no longer a part of my life. Had a friend that I literally knew since she was born. So we were friends for like 20 yrs. totally inseparable, people thought we were sisters. Well I haven't talked to her in years now. Not by my choice. Apparently other people in her life were more important. Other friends I had its kinda the same. Thought I had a best friend for years...only to find out she had secretly been trying to break me & my hubby up before we were married. and so on and so on.

I personally Am used to it by now lol
My hubby is really the best friend I could ever have. I know a lot of women say that, but I literally can tell him anything and we still, after 4-5years together have not a fight that I would consider SERIOUS. Only a small disagreement a few times.

But sometimes it does get lonely. I live over 350miles from my closest sibling. My others & mom live in Los Angeles. So I'm luck if I get to see them ONCE in a year or two time period. Been living in a new state for a year now and still have no friends haha

I do have one best friend - for the first time in my life.
I moved here from the UK in 2006 and was very lonely, and I accidentally found my friend, who also moved over from the UK, we both have a son and a daughter around the same age, texan husbands, and a lot in common lol.
it is nice to have a friend

I have one best friend, and really she's the only one I call on a regular basis. I have a few Husband's wives that I get along with, but I don't call them when I need to talk to someone. I wish I had more. I know I sure could use it at times.

Yes, besides my hubby I have one best friend. We have known each other since we were in diapers and she knows everything about me. We live in different countries right now but we keep in touch through email or phone calls a few times a year. Even when we lived close to each other we didn't see the other very often because we were so busy. I can tell her anything and know that she won't judge me and will give advice when I ask and even when I need to hear something but am just not listening. We have been through many ups and downs but in the end we are both there for each other. We have both chosen very different paths in life but it doesn't matter. We go for months without talking but always pick up right where we left off. I am very lucky to have her.

Yes!!! I have 3 very very close friends. 2 from high school and 1 from the first job I got out of college. I have no idea where I would be if it weren't for them! There are just somethings that you can't cry to your hubby about.

I have a couple of best friends who are very supportive and very easy to talk to. These are friends that I met after I became and adult but before I got married. The best friends that I had in elementary school and high school, sadly enough, did not go the distance. Their lives went one way and mine went another.

I'm one of those dorks that consider my mom my best friend (other than hubby of course). She will always be there for me and always wants what's best for me, and is the only other one (other than hubby) that wants to hear every little detail about my kid.

I do wish I had a best girlfriend though, especially when my mom gets too preachy ;)

I actually don't have "one" best friends. I have a few friends that I consider my best friends. All for at least the past 10-15 years. But like someone said earlier, I get to see them maybe once or twice per month with scattered phone calls, texts and emails in between. Everyone has such busy lives.

Whether you have known them all your life or just met, female friends are so important in any woman's life. They are your support system for the "girly" things in life. Husbands do not truly understand how we work, your girlfriends do. Your friendship with your husband is different. I need female friends to keep me sane after working with men all day, a husband and 2 sons. I need the estrogen! cb

I do have that, BUT our husbands are now friends. And she tells her husband alot of what I say, who then will repeat things to my husband. So it has put a strain on our friendship because I feel like I cant vent to her without it getting back. Sometimes I say things just because Im annoyed, and need to get it out. The last thing I want is it repeated. So anymore, I keep alot of things to myself :(
Other then her, my husband is my best friend. And I can tell him anything. Adult friendships get harder, especially when you are married with families

yes i think most ppl have that. there is a right way and a wrong way of having a gal friend. i would not tell your friend every little bad thing that your hubby does. it makes that friend not like your hubby. then there is resintment between the two. now this is personaly what works for us and i find it disrespectufl when girls have a "girls night out" and go to the bar or go to the strip club! its not respectful towards your hubby. if your hubby went to either of those places how would you feel? even if its just a little bit of doubt its there like a little evil seed that grows. be very careful but enjoy friendship in healthy ways. good luck on your friend hunt. perhaps you can even track down anna on fb or myspace!

Yes I have best friends outside hubby and I have always said a best friend is someone who you can cry around and they cry with you. If you can pass gas around them and they forgive it as normal, they're friends. If you can have conflict, get angry with each other, separate and come back, that's true friend. I have one or two like those and I cherish them!

YES!!! I highly recommend it! You can't vent about all your family issues with your husband. It is great that you have the close relationship, but every gal needs a bestie! (or 2)!

My BFF is still the same girl it was my last couple of years of school. We have moved to different parts of the country, and live very different lives (I am a stay at home military mom living in Alaska, she is a single lawyer in LA), but when we talk on the phone or get together it is just like old times. We try to get together once a year, and for me that girl time is soo important.

No, I don't. It would be nice though. My sister and mother are very close, but I still don't tell them everything.

I know what you mean. I have best friends from high school that I am still close with, but I have only managed to make one truly close friend in adulthood, and she and I are not nearly so close as I am with my high school friends. I met her while volunteering, and I love her and we talk - but I can't tell her everything the way I can my other friends. I don't know if we can have that as adults or not - perhaps husbands do take the place of those friends as adults. I'm not sure. But you're not alone.

I have a BF from college that I talk to just about every day, even though we live in different states now. I also have a few other friends that I don't get to see/talk to as much as I would like, but when we do hang out, it's like no time has passed. I have several other "Mom" friends that I hang out with on a regular basis, but we usually have the kids with us, so that's the topic of discussion! We do have "Girl's Night Out" every so often and that helps us chat about us too, but I would say that my best friend is my friend from college. I have found that the older I get, the harder it is to make those connections just because of how busy my life (and those of my friends) is because of my family and kids. That's not to say it isn't possible though!

No, I don't, and I wish I did. Even just girlfriends if not a best friend. I just have my hubby.

I do have a very best friend and I don't know what I'd do without her. I hadn't really had a friend like this since high school (like you mention). It wasn't a forced friendship; God just brought us together. My advice to you is to put yourself out there. That's how it happened for us. She was a neighbor and discovered we had a new baby. She knocked on my door one day and the rest was history. We swapped numbers; I called her to go for a walk. The key is, don't let it dwindle, keep asking them to get together. That was 6 years ago. So, when I say "put yourself out there," what I mean is mingle as much as possible. Join a mother's group (MOPS, neighborhood mom's group, etc.) Create your own, if you have to. Even if you don't find your soul friend, I feel confident that you will find a good friend. Have your neighbor friends over for a girl's night (after the kids are already asleep). Send your hubby to another room. You will find that you will cherish this time. I think it's awesome that you have such a good relationship with your hubby but sometimes you need the advice of a friend.

I've had the same best friend for 13 yrs! Since freshman year of high school =) we actually haven't lived near each other in about 7 1/2 yrs (my hubby is in the Army), but we usually see each other once a year. We usually text each other every day and call each other at least once a week. And I know that if I needed someone to talk to, she would be there for me night or day, and vice versa.
My husband is also my best friend, but on a way different level. I think it's good to have same-sex friends who you can talk to about everything, including venting about your spouse =)

I have four friends that I'm pretty close with but I really haven't had a "best" friend in a long time. Friendships change when you are an adult, when you get married and when you have kid(s). I am a stay at home mom and two of my best friends are busy with work and they don't have kids. The others have kids but sometimes when the kids don't get along, it can put a strain on the relationship. Also the fact that we are all adults now with responsibilities, doesn't open up much time to cultivate a close relationship. My mom was my closest best friend but she has passed away. My husband is nice but he already has a best friend and he is usually too preoccupied to be a really good friend. Sometimes I really do miss having a best friend and it makes me sad. So I hear ya.

I am lucky enough to still have a best friend. We grew up next door to each other (although she is one year younger than I am). We live about 20 minutes away from each other now, but we talk every day and we tell each other everything. As we get older, we realize how lucky we are to have known each other our entire lives. I don't know what I'd do without her. We don't see each other all that often, but we do try to get together for breakfast at least a few times a month without the kids to have a good talk. There's something to having a history with someone. Although I share a lot with my husband, he's actually thankful that I have a friend I talk to every day. there's something different about talking to a woman. My friend "gets" me like no one else does.

I have other friends who I met when I was working. I've known many of them for 20 years or more. Good friendships are so important. My daughter is almost 11 and doesn't really have what I would call a best friend. Makes me a little sad sometimes, although she's fine with it.

Good question.

I am still close friends with 5-6 people I grew up with...Coming up on a 35th anniversary with one! But my girlfriends are (surprisingly) those I inherited from my husband's pool of friends. I think the fact that he has such a great group of friends -- so great that I feel they rank among the reasons I married him -- just shows what a decent guy he is. Thank goodness for girlfriends tho cuz there are just some thing only they can appreciate.

Christina,
I am 49 years old, and I have MANY friends that I tell things to! I have BEST friends! I believe you can have more than just one best friend. Some people are just "acquaintences"....so, I share just basic info with them. The ones I TRUST, and, I mean ABSOLUTELY TRUST!...I honestly consider a Best Friend. Some things are just NOT to be shared with a husband.
S. J.

Yes! I still get together with a few of my best friends from high school and have another best friend or 2 that I've made since. Every woman needs girlfriends to talk to. You can't tell your hubby everything, especially about girl stuff. They just don't get it. Girlfriends give you the support you need from other women and an ear to listen when you have a problem. We have a group that gets together for dinner club once a month. We eat and have a glass or two of wine and just talk-about everything! We've been doing it for about 10 years and none of us can do without it! I love my girlfriends!!

No, I really don't. I have a few long time friends that I check in with periodicaly and call when something really big happens. I have "frienemies" at work that I tell the mundane details of my weekend. I guess my best friends are my family members. I have a couple brothers and 2 sils that are my favorite people to talk to, spend time with, share with. It saves time - rather than having friends and family - I just make friends with my family! Pretty efficient and cuts down on my Christmas
list.