Desperate for Help!!!!!

Updated on January 04, 2009
G.L. asks from Whittier, CA
10 answers

Hi Ladies,
I want to thank you all for your advice it was very helpful and it made me feel alot better. In that department it is ok now, for some reason he prayed to the lord to help him and he did. The reason I am asking for help is I work with these really bitter women that make my life so miserable. What my goal this year is working from home because we are finally going to start my step-sons treatment on his kidneys and his adhd and I need to be able to be there for him. I am a very hard worker and I don't mess around when it comes to work, I need to help my husband also, because his condition is not getting better and eventually he won't be able to drive so I might be the only sole provider. god bless you all

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So What Happened?

I want to thank all of you beautiful ladies for all the responses you have sent me about my husband. God bless you all. I am sorry to the ladies that have called me about working from home, I have been so busy with my job, home, kids, husband that I haven't had time. But if you can get me started now making at least what I make at my job call me again please. I make $525.00 per week.

More Answers

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K.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

G.,

I changed careers 4 years ago to become a stay at home mom for our 3 children. I got my real estate license used this license to do Broker Price Opinions aka BPO. A BPO is a value that you are giving on a piece of property by driving by, providing 3 photos of the subject, street and address and using 6 comparable to come up with a value. My clients pay be between $50 - $70 an order and I do on the average 100 a month. To get your real estate license, contact a First Tuesday (800)794-0494 (inside CA) or by e-mail at ____@____.com will cost you $149 for the material to study for your exam. Once you pass the test, it is approx. $300 to the state for your license. Then, go to google.com and type in the words Broker Price Opinion and it will provide you with all the companies that outsource. Sign up with every company possible. I have about 10 strong clients that provide me with more than enough work that 2 of my sister are my back of typist for orders. You can outsource you photos, this would eleviate you having to drive out to complete the photos (usually a $10.00 fee) and you handle the research and typing of the order. I make between 5 and 6 thousand a month......once in a while you actually get the listing that you did the BPO on, therefore that's an additional plus. If you have any questions, my personal e-mail is: ____@____.com and my home phone number is ###-###-####. Good luck and really look into this. I have referred several moms that I know that have made this their second income in the home. I work mainly when the kids are at school or after they go to bed.

5 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

try not to take it personally... if your Hubby has diabetes...for some individuals, this REALLY turns their world topsy-turvy...and they can even get depressed.

My Dad had diabetes, and died from it. This is how I know.

Your Husband, needs and should, get emotional support via a support group, or via a Doctor. Diabetes affects ALL circulatory function in the body... and perhaps, even the "virility" of a man. So, do not make him feel bad for this....IF IT IS DIABETES that is affecting him.

Diabetes is all encompassing...affecting circulation, the heart, the vision, the limbs- because it can get numb and if they get any infections in their feet for example, it can get gangrene and amputation is one way to stop the infection. Diabetes ripples into all manners of life. Kidney failure or Renal failure is almost sure to happen IF diabetes is not controlled. My Dad had all of these things...except for amputation. He was on dialysis as well... and believe me, this alone can make a person very depressed...it is NOT fun. My Dad also suffered a stroke... all ripple effects of his Diabetes.

So... the moral of the story is this- have compassion. I know you don't feel "loved" right now... but your Husband probably has HUGE worries emotionally if not physically. He must ALSO see his Doctor, monthly, to monitor his condition. This is what happened to my Dad. Diabetes is not a walk in the park... and it affects the mind, the soul, and the emotions of a person. The person also then thinks down the road... what will happen to their family if something happens to them... what if they go blind...what if they need an amputation... etc., etc., etc.

As his Spouse, it would probably serve you well to also seek a support group as well.

If anything, can your husband open up with you... and perhaps express why he does not want to make love anymore? Maybe he is embarrassed about the way diabetes is affecting his body? Maybe it is something else unrelated? You must both be a "team" and talk about it together... a man with Diabetes, needs strength... whether it comes from his wife, his children, his faith or else where.

My Dad, was the strongest most disciplined and compassionate man I know... and he had many moments of despair, some depression, and all because of having Diabetes... I and my family took care of him. It is not easy....

I hope this sheds some light on this, for you.
All the best, pray and have faith... Men derive much strength and faith from "how" his wife views him, especially when he has a disease. They NEED to know and feel loved, unconditionally, no matter what. They need someone to help lift them up, too. Especially when they have a disease.

Take care,
Susan

3 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi G. -

I'm so glad to hear that things are looking up for you. Were you able to meet with any of the woman about a home based business that would satisfy your needs? I think I can help you if you want to take the time to talk with me. ____@____.com.

I hope this message will be of help to you as you look into the new year for hope and happiness. I'm sure your husband's lack of desire is not towards you but due to his diabetic condition and the fact I'm sure you know it causes circulation problems. He may feel embarrassed or less of a man, self conscious, or maybe his condition is just making him feel bad in general. That doesn't minimize your feelings at all because yours are just as important. I know this is easier said than done, but try to find other ways to be close and loving while you work to improve his health to a point where he can get that circulation and energy back. Regarding your son, have you read the book called "The Healthiest Kid in the Neigborhood"? It's a wonderful handbook for parents, the advice has helped my family as well as others I've known with kids who have behavioral conditions like ADHD. I truly believe that diet is the key to improving virtually all health conditions. Dr. Sears gives excellent advice, much specifically about ADD. I recommended the book to a friend a few months ago, she made great improvement in her child's diet and in a few short months has seen drastic improvement in his behavior and concentration. Also, your husband and son could benefit greatly from adding Juice Plus capsules to their diet. If your son is between ages 6 and 15 you can get his for free. It's a way to guarantee they get the nutrients from up to 28 of the most nutrient rich fruits, vegetables, berries and grains in their bodies every day. A friend of mine who's husband has diabetes believes that changing his diet and adding Juice Plus has turned his health around. I can share her testimonial with you if you'd like to contact me at ____@____.com. Juice Plus is not based on testimonials though, it's based on gold standard independent research done at major universities like Harvard and Yale. I love this business I'm in because it not only helps my family and friends' health, but I get to help others which is very rewarding while earning my paycheck. If you want more information about the product, please go to www.wethriveonjuiceplus.com or call 800-942-1260. If you'd like information on how you can also share Juice Plus as a home based business go to http://www.nsavirtualfranchise.com/ and call me at ###-###-####. I wish you all the best in the New Year. We all go through slumps at times, and because you have the will, the love and faith in God, you and your family will rise above again before long.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

G. - wow. You have a lot going on. Your husband may be feeling like that department isn't working right as blood flow does get compromised. Best for him to talk with a couple of doctors to get their take on it, his primary care and his Endocrinologist.

About your stepson with ADHD. Have you incorporated diet changes yet? There are many things that you can do to help him with this. Check out the Amen Clinic www.amenclinics.com and also the Drake Institute but diet is the first and most important thing. Remove anything that is a dye, preservative, wheat/barley/oats-gluten. These have all aggravated those on the spectrum.

About working from home. I am sure you have been bombarded by everything and everyone now:o) I represent Sensaria Natural Bodycare and what makes our company different than the others is several things: no inventory, no deliveries, no minimum requirements each month, Sensaria pays for the hostess gifts, AND check this out, we have a ONE-YEAR guarantee.

When economic times are tough,there are three things people will not go without if they were using them already: cigarettes, booze, and their cosmetics/skin care. If a woman finds something that she likes in skin care, she will find a way to cut back elsewhere to continue using it and Sensaria's products are for the whole family.

Check out my website (which is also included for free).
www.sensaria.com/J.

J.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi G., I would suggest that you check with your health plan to find a support group. At least you would have people who are dealing with the same issue you are dealing with. As a woman of God - we know that we can rely totally on our Father to love and appreciate us.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi G.. It seems like your husband has a lot on his plate and you too. I am sorry for what you are all going through. I have run across the Gerson Therapy and have tried alot of their suggestions. You can call and get handouts on diabetes. It is a natural therapy based on curing any degenerative disease based on organic foods and juicing. I really believe in it and you can go online and learn more about it if it interests your family. It is amazing how by improving your diet, your mood improves, health heals and depression even go away.
Best of luck.
E.

1 mom found this helpful
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F.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi G.,

It may have nothing to do with you and all to do with the diabetes. Do not approach this subject in bed or even in the bedroom. A man this young may be having problems and is too embarrassed to admit he's having problems to you or a doctor. Is he on new medications? Is his blood sugars under control? How about his weight? Does he eat healthy? Is he exercising? Is he worried about being laid-off or having to take a pay cut to keep his job. You know when we women have an off day, we can fake it. Unfortunately, a male can not and may be afraid to try again. If you think it's physical, talk to your doctor to see if he is having side effects from his meds. Maybe it's time to try viagra or maybe just a get-a-way weekend from the kids. Maybe he needs to loose the pounds so that his blood sugars are at proper levels.

There is lots of reasons he might not be in the mood. Be patient. Go to movies that are funny. Laughter may be the best mood elevator of all. Take all the pressure off.

FYI, I almost died 3 Thanksgiving ago and learned that one of the medicines I was taking at the time which was poisoning me, not only caused me to gain weight and made me retain fluids, it also took my sex drive away. It's just reasently returned. It was Paxil. I had lost 144 pounds but yo-yo'd but I have a new product that has helped me stablize the lose and go on to safely loose another 38 pounds and over 11 inches off my waist in just 12 short weeks.I have lots more to loose but my ego feels better. If weight is his issue, consider checking out these products:

http://www.FitAndFatFree4ever.com

Look to his shiny side. Try to avoid any negative talk. Praise him when he trys at anything (not just sexual). He may just be feeling overwhelmed with the way everything is going right now.

Who decided we were the weaker sex?

Good Luck and Happy New Year ~ F.

PS. Since I am wheelchair bond and forced into medical retirement, I have joined this company as their representitive. If you are looking for something so you can stay home with your kids, please feel free to contact me through the website. This isn't for everyone but if I can conduct this business sitting on the edge of my hospital bed with my laptop on my hospital tray, if you truly want to succeed, you can. :^D

1 mom found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Las Vegas on

I am a nurse of 40 years, and I married a man 10 years younger then me. He was a wonderful lover until he contracted diabetes. It's the medication they take to control the diabetes that harms their sex life. Your husband is probably having a hard time maintaining an erection because of this med. It's quite embarrassing for a man to have this problem because they express their love to you when they make love. If he can't maintain an erection, then he feels inadequate.
Fortunately, there is help. Your husband needs to speak with his physician. The physician may either change the medication, or can give him a medication that helps him regain his libido alnd helps him maintain an erection. I know this is the case, because we went through it. I'm sorry if my direct response was so blunt, but this is an easy fix. You are loved, but your husband just needs a little help. Hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi! Well I wish you and your extended family a Happy New Year! 2009. I am not familiar where 562 area code is. I live in Cali in the 626 area code. Has your hobbie been depressed lately? Or maybe you need to get some help and have the kids spend the night somewhere and give yourselves a husband and wife night off. It helps. if you need to talk you can call me at ###-###-#### on tues,wed,thur 8am-11:00am and on fridays till 3pm. I hope to hear from you.
I hope that I can help you as a friend. ____@____.com is my personal e-mail if you want to chat please
sincerely,
D.

1 mom found this helpful
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E.G.

answers from San Diego on

Hi G., I will call you Sunday around 3pm if that is good for you. I live in San Diego now but used to live in Lakewood.
E. www.evelyn1.fourpointwellness.com

1 mom found this helpful
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