Depserate and Exhaused Mom Seeking Sleep Advice

HI. i have 3 young children and i' m only 24 and another baby on the way by May 2010.So let me start off by saying I've read those books too before our first son arrived my mom gave me some good advice.SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS.Don't worry about cleaning up just get some rest.Because if your in a bad mood your kids will feel it,and they will respond as well as stressed.With the one year old start off by setting a little bed next to yours and stay there until he falls asleep then you go to sleep in your bed, keep an extra bottle close to give to him if he wakes. But what you really want to do is make sure he only gets one nap a day and for only 30min. to 45 min a day.And if he doesn't nap then get him to run around, play, jump to get him tired so when it comes time for bed time he'll fall asleep fast.Or why not sleep with older sibling? My boys sleep together,it's been like that since i can remember.And for the baby, don't it him cry it's just harder to soothed him later on.Play music while his falling asleep, babies get use to patterns that why it gets easier everytime you stick to a pattern. I would play classical music. no singing just insturmental only. Lay him on his stomache they stay asleep longer that way and always make sure he has a clean pamper on babies don't like to feel cold.If you need some more advice i'm here for you.

Hi P.,

I am sorry that you are sleep deprived. My kids are 23 and 13, but I remember how hard that was! Also I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to have a one year old AND a one month old!!! I remember the Richard Ferber book and I remember how much it appalled me even so many years ago when I read it. Listen to your heart (and to your babies!) They need you, even at night. A better book is William Sears' Nighttime Parenting. Also, The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin (an excellent book!). This was how I finally solved our sleep problems. I nursed them both until they were 14 months old and they slept in our bed many nights. They are well adjusted lovely people now and very secure!
Good Luck!
D.

My 2 cents... You need to put your son in his own bed. Whether you or or husband ends up rocking him to sleep or staying in the room intermittently in 5-10 minute periods until he is asleep... but you need to get him customized to sleeping in his room/crib. He may keep waking up in the middle of the night (now is the time to focus on getting him to sleep in his room; don't try to break the wake-up/bottle now. You can focus on breaking him of his midnight snack in 2-3 months. Don't try to break both habits at once). Have a small (4oz) bottle ready for when he cries at 2am, rock him back to sleep and put him in bed. Keep the lights off, don't talk much. You don't want to energize him. Keep telling him that "night time is for sleeping". I did not do the Ferber method. Instead, I rocked my daughter to sleep and then placed her in bed (asleep). At 12 months, your son is old enough to try the Ferber method, but it never seemed appropriate to me. But, my daughter never slept in bed with us and I didn't have two small babies at once... I do recognize that you have a different and more demanding situation than me and the techniques I used may not work for you.

You might want to contact your local 'mothers of multiples' chapter and see if there is some way you can ask for advice on what mothers of twins do and how they react to late night wake ups, etc.

You daughter is waaaay too young to do cry it out on. Even Ferber recommends that the child must be at least 6 months old. At her age, when she cries, she is saying she needs you (or your husband). Doing Ferber too early can cause bonding damage... because that would basically be teaching her that, when she cries, she'll be ignored.

My son had asthma attacks when he was a baby. I had to sleep with him to make sure he was breathing. I wouldn't dare have him in a separate room. The longer he sleeps with you the harder it will be to break this habit. Mine is breathing fine now and I am having a hard time getting him to sleep in his own room. Sleeping with kids=not having a good nights rest.