Seeking Sleeping Suggestions

Good for you for not doing CIO with a 5 weeks old. That is so young to just leave crying. He is still so new to the world and is still learning to trust his parents. I agree with the swaddling. All 3 of my boys loved to be swaddled.

What worked for my son was to lie a hot water heating pad (can't think of the right term for it at the moment...too tired!) down in his crib before his bedtime. I didn't fill it with HOT water, just warm water. I would cover it with a blanket. I would move it out of the crib and lie my son down on the warm spot, then I would cover him up with the warm blanket for a few minutes, then I would remove it. That seemed to work for him to keep him sleeping after lying him down in the crib. Good luck with whatever you try!

Hi A.,

My son was an awful sleeper the first few months on his life. We found it to be very heplful when he woke up to eat to eliminate as much stimulation besides the actually eating as possible i.e. no lights etc. We also had a baby sound sleeper we played in his crib and that seemed to soothe his as well.

Good luck!

Will he sleep in the swing? My baby spent her first 4 months sleeping swaddled in the swing. At this point, it's all about survival. :)

I know some people would say we were setting ourselves up for sleep problems later, but at 7 months she now sleeps all night in the crib, waking to eat once.

for a while I would let her swing to sleep and then transfer to the crib. Once she woke to eat, I just put her back in the crib and that got her used to falling asleep in there.

I'm curious about the research that proves newborns can be spoiled. Cody, do you have a link or source?

I'd love to see some actual research on the "babies can be spoiled" theory as well. To the OP: you are absolutely right that when a baby cries, they need something. They are simply not that manipulative at that age. Something most people don't think of after diaper changes and food is that he may just need YOU.

My advice is also to co-sleep. I've coslept all of my kids, and we had no trouble transitioning them to their own beds. If you don't want him in your bed, investigate a co-sleeper for next to your bed. Babies need to be close to mom to feel safe and secure.

If you are insistent on putting him in his own bed or room, look at it this way: your son has spent the majority of his life inside you. Warm, dark, always moving, and noisy. The transition to a crib where it's quiet, much cooler than a human body, and without the feeling of anyone else around can be very confusing and scary. So try to mimic the environment of the womb. Some things you can try: get a white noise machine or a radio that will allow you to play something that sounds like a heartbeat, swaddle him in a blanket that you've handled or worn on you so it smells like you, sleep him in a swing or bouncy chair so he's moving, and make sure the room is warm enough.

The newborn stage is the toughest one, but you'll make it through! Good Luck!

I learned with my second child that I needed my sleep and I'd just have to do anything to get my sleep. My baby wouldn't sleep in her bassinet etc. She was up constantly to feed and scream and drive me insane. I finally put her in bed with me and wa-lah problem solved. So we coslept, I didn't want to cosleep because I still have to get my almost 8 yr.old out of my bed because she coslept it can be another habit to break. But to get sleep I just brought the baby to bed with me. It was the ONLY way we got any sleep. When she was a few months old past that newborn stage I was able to get her to sleep in a pack n play by our bed, then eventually her crib. My daughter didn't sleep through the night til 9mos.old. I did what I had to get sleep. Sleep deprivation is horrible and was ruining my relationship with my fiance, I was a mess.

If you ask me I say cosleep, then when the baby is sleeping through the night wean to a crib. I don't think newborns really like that big scary crib. They want to feel warm and secure and they need their mommy.

we didn't let him cry it out either....they don't manipulate at that age! "the happiest baby on the block" uses the principles that have been around forever. 5s's. swaddle,shhh,suck,swing,and i can't remember the last one! anyway, i promise it'll make him sleep longer! good luck!

A.,

Your son may be a little young to spend the whole night in his crib. I think at that age our son was either still sleeping in his carseat next to our bed or perhaps sleeping in his crib until the first feeding and then sleeping with me the rest of the night. (It was a long transition for us, but he is a great crib sleeper now!)

One suggestion I have, however, for getting your son to "like his crib more" is to make it smell like you. This may sound kind of gross, but babies that age are so scent sensitive that it helped for us to basically put my laundry (T-shirts pretty much - not undies or anything like that) in the crib when he wasn't in there. Don't leave it in there with him, though, for suffocation reasons. I would also take his crib sheet and stuff it into my shirt and "wear it" for an hour or so before putting it on his crib to get some "mommie scent" on it. It still took him awhile to spend the whole night in the crib, but it helped a little.

It is exhausting now, but your son is so little and still getting used to his new world that he naturally prefers to be close to you (or dad). I know this sounds crazy, but enjoy it if you can when he wants to fall asleep in your arms because it really doesn't last long.

Congrats on your son.

You might try swaddling him for sleep time. It makes babies feel more secure.

Hi A.,

If this happens every time, I'm pretty sure that if you've fed him, and changed him, that there probably is nothing wrong, especially if there was nothing wrong with him before you laid him down the first time. I've heard newborn babies can't be spoiled, but that's been proven wrong over and over again. I would say he likes to be held to sleep, and that is why he cries when you lay him back down. You might try swaddling him to comfort him, and make him still feel like he is being held. I'm sure, also, the reason he cries the second time you lay him down, and not the first time, is because he's probably not quite so tired the second time...he just needs a little encouragement. It won't take long for him to learn that it's okay to go back to bed as long as you hang in there and don't give in....I know it's hard, but well worth it in the end. Happy babies make happy families!!!!

C.

First, congratulations!

Second, read Baby Wise as someone else suggested. It covers feeding and sleeping. I have 3 beautiful, healthy, very well behaved children and I used that book. So did my sister and brothers with their children. Our kids (11 in all) all slept through the night in the first 6 weeks. Even the 2 with colic! And there are chapters to help with special needs and issues like GERD (which my son had).

Third, whatever you decide to do, your baby will likely be perfectly fine, as you can see from the variety of differnet success stories in this post. :) But it is you and your husband that may suffer (and your marriage). Think about this before co-sleeping or other methods that don't result in a full night sleep very soon. Co-sleeping works very well for some, and certainly won't hurt your baby if you do it safely, but if you want an uninterrupted peaceful night's sleep you may want to follow the Baby Wise method or the Sleep Lady method.

Best wishes to you and your wonderful family.

Cosleeping...works like a charm if you do it the way Dr. Sears recommends. 5 1/2 weeks old is pretty young to be so independent at night. It is so nice that you do not make your baby cry it out.

good instincts about crying it out!! and i hope that dispite any and all advice that you are given, that you are able to keep responding to his cries. the more you listen and respond with sensitivity now, the easier it will be later to listen and understand what it is that your child needs. you will even notice the difference between an infant need cry and a cry that doesnt need an immediate response, though that wont happen until around a year of age.

try www.askdrsears.com
sleep is a VERY difficult thing, and unfortunatly this is common and normal for a baby this age. if you are comfortable sleeping with your baby, go ahead and do it while taking the proper precautions; no heavy bedding, keep baby away from pillow, dont sleep on a couch, dont sleep if you are taking a medication that increases drowsiness.

check the website. dr william sears is the father of jim sears on 'the doctors' and is one of the biggest names in parenting peacefully and sensitivly. the idea is attachment parenting, and it WORKS. my son is 2 1/2 and i have never met a 2 year old who behaves like him, and i feel like i know what he needs when hes throwing a tantrum... its totally different from anything i had heard about 2 year olds. and i really owe it all to dr william sears.

sleep is hard, and you may never sleep through the night again :P my son did not sleep through the night regularly until he was between 15-17 months old.
it is important to note that babies have tiny tummies; about the size of their fist. it fills up fast and it empties fast. when they are going through a growth spurt it is even faster. the idea is that you always always feed a baby when they are hungry, and if bottlefeeding, know when to stop. this means no bottle propping, and dont make a baby finish a bottle. so mnay times a baby gets fed more than necessary in order to eat a certain amount, and ends up losing their ability to feel full and know what that means.... think of the overindulgence in appetite today...

so just do what your heart suggests that you do. your baby could be teething, you could try giving tylenol before bed, and when he wakes up. i know cosleeping works, but it isnt comfortable for everyone. my son has NO bedtime isues, never cries or throws tantrums at bedtime or naptime. he goes to bed like a dream because he KNOWS that when he has a need, even at night, i have always been responsive to him... and allowed him to have his own needs and feelings, no matter what time of day :P there are sidesleepers that you could also use. :D

anyway,
if you need or want more support, or information, or want to hear more about my personal experience, go ahead and send me a message. but check out that website. its a lifesaver! this time only lasts for a little while. i wish my son still woke up at night.. i really miss it! :P

Hi Amnda,

We read Health Sleep Habits, Healthy Child! It was the BEST book for us in regards to sleeping! Author is Marc Weisbluth (I think). LOVED IT! It helped explain so many misconcetions. Good luck!

Try propping him with a wedge...he may have a case of acid reflux as he does it after eating. This was case for my daughter, and her doctor put her on axid. UNREAL the difference. Slept through the night almost immediately. Good luck!
Christa

Do you swaddle him? That worked wonders with our daughter.

I think the crib may feel too big - my oldest slept in it (sideways), but he liked being swaddled, so he wasn't moving around in there. My youngest didn't want to be swaddled, and after the first couple of weeks slept in his bouncer (which I didn't like, but was the only place he'd sleep well), and then in the bassinet for his stroller (quite small). It gets better - I think by about 3 months the startle reflex is gone, and that seems to help a lot.

5 1/2 weeks is probably a little young to be able to do much about his sleeping habits and 6-8 weeks is an especially fussy stage for babies. Those first few months of parenting are especially exhausting! I've heard that 4 months is about the time you can start working on it. I highly recommend Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." Her class was very helpful for me when my boys were about 4 and 7 and I wish her book had been around when they were babies and toddlers. For safety reasons, I would be wary of the suggestion to have him sleep in a swing. My husband is a product liability attorney, and I'm a little paranoid about using products as intended. The swings aren't designed to leave babies unattended. It's very rare and it usually only happens when a baby is much smaller than average, but babies have been known to slip down and strangle on the straps. Both of my boys did spend some time sleeping in infant seats as babies, but I tried to be very careful. My older son was in his carseat without the straps with the car seat placed in his crib. My younger son was in an infant seat sitting on the floor for awhile and it didn't have the cord kind of straps. Babies do like smaller spaces. Have you tried a bassinet or pack and play instead of a crib? Good luck. BTW, I don't believe in CIO either, especially at that age. Even with older babies whether or not it works can really depend on the temperament of the child. Hope you are all getting some sleep soon.

I sympathize - there's a reason they use sleep deprivation as a torture technique! Have you tried swaddling? My two month old calms right down when we "wrap" her up - and can't jerk her arms and legs around and startle herself back awake again. Adan and Anais make great, light-weight gauze swaddling blankets.

We also use a co-sleeper (bassinet that connects to our bed) so I can just lay my hand on her when she fusses or nurse quickly and fall right back to sleep. It was a life saver with my first who was colicky.

Good luck!

my 4 week old is doing this too... my boyfriend says letting them cry it out helps them learn how to sooth themselves. however i think he is absolutely too young for this. the only thing i can advise is rock them for like 10 mins after they have already fallen asleep and then try to lay him down. that way they are in a deeper sleep and it will be easier to transition them to their bed without waking him up. its worked a couple times for me so hopefully if its something you havent tried yet it will work for you. :)

Go buy the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It's fantastic and will help you determine how to help your baby to sleep all through his life.

Hi A.,
Sounds like your little man may have colic. My twins had that for a few weeks. I would feed and change them, then I would put them in their carseats and put them on the dryer. Turn on the dryer and they slept wonderfully. The motion of the dryer soothes them so they sleep. We had to do this for 2-3 weeks and them it went away. Hope this might help. L.

Read the book Baby Wise. It saved us twice! Our babies slept through the night at 5 weeks and 10 weeks on this system. Loved it and have recommended to many friends, with great success. Good luck.

Please, please don't let a baby this young cry it out. Your baby needs to be fed and comforted and absolutely cannot self soothe at this age. Sleeping with your baby makes great sense, as long as you do it safely. If you aren't sure about how to do it safely, try swaddling your baby well and keeping him close to you in a bassinet or pack and play. It takes a long time for babies to be really able to sleep through the night. Accept that and do your best to comfort, soothe and feed him. Your baby is not manipulating you and will be healthier and better adjusted knowing that his needs will be met.

If your significant other can't handle the night wakings, let him sleep somewhere else and get his help in other ways. I know its hard and tiring, but really, it is so important.

Good luck,
B.

Is it absolutely imperative that he sleep in his own bed so soon? Considering that only a few short weeks ago he slept totally inside you only inches from your heart, I think that sleeping outside in your arms is a great start to independence. Of course, it would be pretty tough to sleep yourself if he only slept in your arms (though I do love to sleep the night in the recliner with my newborn in my arms sometimes--this age is gone SO fast). But would he sleep next to you in bed? You could get so much more sleep if you never had to get up in the night to feed him or comfort him, but only had to roll over toward him. Dr. Sears has good info on how to do this safely. And contrary to a lot of the propaganda these days on SIDS, it is actually a good preventative. Dr. Sears is more knowledgeable on SIDS than most people telling you how to prevent it--he has written a book on it.

So my best advice on getting him to sleep in his own bed is to make him feel so secure as long as he needs to be with you that one day he will confidently move to his own bed because his life thus far has taught him that there is nothing to fear--Mom and Dad will take care of him.