Depression & Lonliness

Hi E.,

I can understand why you're depressed! You seem to be having a very isolated experience with mostly responsibility and little time for anything else. I went through a similar situation when we moved back to the US from overseas and I was in a new state where I didnt have friends/family. And believe me, the kids feel it. Im sure you're familiar with the saying "If mom isnt happy, no one is happy" and its quite true. What I did was to find mothers groups or try to make every opportunity to bond with other moms (I volunteered at my son's school). I also became a family mentor for the International Rescue Committee. My husband, initially, was like yours - not very social. But slowly he got involved with friends as well and I think it was also better us. It seems like you take your kids to a lot of extracurricula activities and thats also an opportunity to connect. Are you still figure skating? If you are then its great to keep that up. I always think exercise is an anti depressent. However your situation is not chemical rather its situational. Good luck with building a support circle around you.

J

Hello E., looks to me you need some down time! Try some yoga,accupunture,or check out what your heart desires, step out of your mental system, listen and feel what is going on in your body....

I think if you took some time for yourself either a little every day or weekly then you would begin to feel better. It might help at least. You could take some fun classes like art, cooking, or scrapbooking. Those will put you in a situation to get to know new people. Also you may want to think about talking to someone like a therapist, you may be able to work through your issues with their help.

My husband and I are in the Air Force and I was also raised in the Air Force, so I know somewhat of the feeling of needing to establish new friendships every few years. I'm not a big believer in medications to handle problems that can be fixed another way and, honestly, I have found that church is the best way to connect with people and find friends. I don't know if religion fits anywhere into your life at all, and I really don't want to sound preachy, but it may be exactly what you need. It sounds like all the mental and material things in your life are in perfect order with your children and yourself, but our souls need a little more than that. If religion isn't an option, try getting involved with any kind of group or organization that captures your interest, although with as busy as you seem to be it might be hard.
Have you talked to your husband about how you're feeling? Maybe he doesn't realize that his desire to focus on just your family is isolating from you from potential friends. Even though you could make friends without him, I know how much easier it is when your spouse is on board.