Deleted - Henderson, NV

I raised my two sons by myself after my husband decided he wanted to go and raise another womans children and forget about his own. His inconsistant parenting made my boys angry and out of control no matter what I did. I do believe boys need a "father figure" in their lives, but it doesn't have to be a "Dad". It could be an uncle, friend, grandpa, whatever. My boys are the most loving, caring, rowdy, crazy kids you will ever meet, but they know one thing, and that is that I love them more that anything, and would never leave them. I don't think you are crazy. You can't make someone be a parent!!(Trust me, I tried) I think you are doing the right thing, and I think that if your family can't respect that, they should respect the fact that they need to agree to disagree. One thing to think about, If your son wants to have a relationship with his dad, you should consider letting him try and if the dad shoots him down, then he will never have a reason to blame you for not having a dad. Good luck!!

Hi T.,

I think you are doing the right thing. It is very difficult being a single mom but as mom's we do what we must to care for, provide for and protect our children. Your family may disagree and unfortunatley the only thing you can do is continually reinforce your feelings to them. One day you will meet the man that is right for you and your son. Remember any male can be a "father" but it takes a real Man to be a daddy. I raised my three children by myself for more than two years and I am now married to a wonderful man who loves my children as if they are his own. In the mean time if you need to talk to someone feel free to e-mail me.

K.

PS - Shazia Kirmani is an awesome pediatrician!

Let them know that this is a task that your happy to have. let them know how much happier you are to have all your son's love instead of having him share it with his dad. tell them you would'nt have had the baby in the first place if god did'nt think you were not ready to deal with it on your own. also tell them that this is your life not there's and they need to butt out. LOL well in a nice way.

HI Twanya,

I so feel you, I am raising my sons alone. I have been lucky in the way that my mother agrees that my sons father should not be around. I strongly feel that an inconsistant father is much worse than no father and that it would damage my sons to know him as someone who only comes around when he has to or is bored. Children need real relationships and someone who doesnt want to be really involved can traumatize them and make them blame themselves. I know this because my father would call and make promises and then disappear for a year or 2 and start over. It would have been easier to not know him than to feel i had done something to make him not want to be around me. I never want this for my children. yes a child needs both parents, In an ideal world this would be true. In this world a child needs only parents that are constant and loving and they can depend on them. I have family members that always want me to pursue childsupport and make him visit etc.. But I have chosen to protect my childs heart. If he wants contact he has to proove he will be a father. after I told him that last year I never heard from him again and I am more than happy to keep it that way. So my advice to you is to try and explain this one more time for your family and if they choose to be problematic let them know that you feel you are acting in the best intrest of your child and that is the final say. You are the parent of this child not them. Hopefully they will understand. just keep your heart and family protected and have faith it will work out for you. It really sounds like you are a good mom and want the best for your child.
Good luck

I really have no experience with this sittuation but i guess I can give my 2 cents. Anyway I think if you knew what you were doing from the begining and you decided to keep your wonderfull son anyway then you shouldn't have a problem with being a single mother your not the first woman that has had to do it alone. I think you should let your mother know one final time in a calm voice that you are doing what you want to do and you knew what you where getting into in the first place and you are not angry and that you no longer want to talk about it anymore. I also feel that if a man doesn't want to be a father he should not be forced only because what king of influence would he be for your son you want to raise a man that takes care of his responsibilities and not run like a little boy.and you are fine and there are many men out there that are willing to be a wonderfull father and husband and that this is the end of it and I no longer want this subject to be discussed anymore. I hope that that was not to the point. I wish you nothing but good luck and happiness now and in you future.