A.T.
oh, girl you've NO idea how much this sounds like my daughter. She's 3 also, and the baby of the family.. She got any writing utensil she could find, and took to the walls. ( we also homeschool her three older siblings) She used to take the lotions, shampos, dads shaving cream, etc... and fill the toilet w/ it if not try to flush things like my cell phone or the digital camera down it first. I would cry every day because she was so out of control. I tried the exact same methods you did.. Realizing that our only time spent together was me discplining her, I decided to allow her to interact with the other kids. I went online and got printouts of how to write letters. She took right to that like an ant in sugar. Then I did colors, shapes, which baby animal goes with this momma animal. etc.. She sat down and actually enjoyed doing her " stoo wort" ( school work) Now she's exceeded my 7 YO in lessons.. She just wanted to be included and was so afraid that if I DI include her I'd be pushing her before she was ready to learn.
Also I want to COMMEND you A THOUSAND TIMES in taking charge of your childrens education. Knowing they're in a safe environment and not having to deal with the outside world till she ready. I commend you a LOT for this. Keep up the good work. My 4 are 12, 11, 7, and of course the 3 YO.) I'll never regret anything about their education,, and they've already exceeded their requirements for the school year and are moving on to the next grade.
Hope this helps,,
God bless,
A.