Husband Not on Board with Homeschooling

Everyone seems to have given you some great advice! My only opinion is that it seems that you're being a bit controlling. Please don't think I'm being mean! :) I am a total control freak & bossy!!! Probably more than you. I'm trying to work on it after my DH kept pointing it out to me. If I could, I would put my son in a bubble with me at home all the time until he's 30, but I'm slowly (very slowly) realizing that I can't. Good luck!

T.,
God's will won't bring conflict between you and your husband, so if you keep coming up with the homeschool answer and your husband is still against it, then you are putting too much of you, and too little of God in the answer.

I think homeschool can be wonderful. I have never done it but I've seen others that have and it has worked for them. It can also be awful, isolating and unresponsive to the childs needs.

Keep praying.

I would listen to your husband and keep praying about it.

Also, just from my experience from being homeschooled myself, it can be very difficult teaching the ages of your children. Meaning you have two children a grade apart where both grades would need a lot of one-on-one when it comes to reading, writing, and 'rithmetic. Second, you also have a one year old needing your attention,too. Is it possible your husband sees this?

It might be different if your older ones were already reading and writing and they could do more independent work while you work with your little one.

Also, one more word from me and I'll shut up...lol...just make sure you are not making this decision emotionally or out of fear. Both are unstable.

If you and your husband can not come to a meeting of the minds on this - I wouldn't do it. It just seems like that is a big fight just waiting to happen. There are a lot of kids who don't "like" school. I would try to get to the core reason why. I think that it is very important for kids to get not only the education at school, but also coping skills and social skills. Many people are able to do this with homeschooling with extra curricular activities, but I think you are setting yourself up for failure if your spouse is not on board and supportive of this decision. Parenting is a team sport - make sure everyone's thoughts and ideas are heard. There may be a problem that you aren't aware of at school and there may be another solution that is a happy medium for your family. Good luck and know that it will all work itself out for the best.

I don't think it's a good idea to homeschool b/c you want to be with your kids (which you stated was one of your reasons). I think that's placing the emphasis on what YOU want, not what is best for the kids.

I like the idea of trying it out over the summer. That way you can compare the progress your son is making now to the progress he makes over the summer.

I also agree that God won't do anything that causes conflict b/t you and your husband. If your husband keeps saying no, then you need to focus your admitted obsessive behavior in making sure that you are supplementing what the school is doing so your son gets what he needs...

Plus, I don't think it's all that uncommon that a 7 year old boy isn't thrilled with school. :)

He's right - it can be ineffective. It can also produce brilliant, well trained minds who love to learn long after the "education" is over. Why don't you try it over the summer? You don't have to do the whole summer - just six weeks, maybe, of 3 or 4 hours a day (no more!), five days a week. If you're stressed out at the end - well, then maybe homeschooling isn't quite for you. On the other hand, if you and your boys wake up ready to plan learning expeditions for the day - the results should shout volumes to your husband without anyone saying a word.

S.

Just hang in there with trying to convince him if this is something you feel so strongly about. Homeschooling is not for everyone, but the people that do it, seem to love it and have very strong feelings about it. I send my kids to private school right now for reasons of not wanting to deal with public schooll issues.---So I get what you mean about that. Good Luck with the decision and God bless! :) C.

I would try it over the summer. Sure the kids are going to want to have their summer break, but if you can set aside a few hours a day to work on even just the trouble areas, you may be able to get your husband as well as the kids to see how great it can be. I will not kid you. It takes discipline from the parent teacher as well as the kids. However, it can be the most fun learning your kids will ever have. It could make a HUGE difference in how they view school whether it is at home or in an brick and mortar building.

Homeschooling can be very expensive though. You need to know that right off the bat. However, it does not have to be. There are a vast amount of resources on the internet that are free or nearly free. There are e-groups where you can even get items from other homeschooling families for postage only. One such group is http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FreeHomeschoolTools/.

I would also keep praying about it. You may find, after trying it this summer, that it is not something you want to do. Or you could find that your husband sees how excited the kids are about learning and jumps on board. Just keep praying. And good luck on your homeschooling journey - even if it is only for the summer.

T.,

I don't think there is anything wrong inherently with the concept of homeschooling. However, there really might be an issue with you trying to homeschool the 7 and 6 year olds with a 1 year old running around. If you put the 1 year old in daycare? Yes. If he/she is going to also be home? No. That isn't fair to either the 6/7 or the 1 in terms of the amt of attention you can give. Especially if you are really trying to teach the 6/7 year olds and if the 7 really does need more attention. What will the 1 year old do? He/she needs attention and teaching too...but with the ages being so far apart, this will be tough.

Is it possible for you to send them to private school? I support and commend home school parents however, if you dont have the support of your husband I wouldnt do it. I too wanted to home school but did not have the support of my husband. We did however compromise and I was able to send them to private school were I feel meet my expectations. To fill the void I voulunteer a lot in the class room the teachers always need help and I can play an active role in his education and I have found that the time a part is good for us both. Your relationship with your husband is very important one and how would you feel if he was wanting to do something with the kids that you did not support. Good luck and I commend you for trying to find a better way, maybe you can compromise and homeschool over the summer this could give you all a trial period to see if it is going to work.

My 8yr old had ADHD and it was just getting really bad having to deal with the teachers all the time, it was taking a big toll on my life, so I pulled her out of public school. It was the best decision I could have ever made. Now that I see it, public school was not helping her at all. She really needed one on one, and now she has improved so much. But, I do regret having had pulled my 6 year old out of public school too, and if she had not thrown such a fit about wanting to be homeschooled, I would have probably left her there. My 6 yr old would have still been in kindergarten. She is very smart, so I am using this opportunity to advance her. I am teaching her 1st and 2nd grade stuff, and she's picking up just fine. We have been thinking about having a baby, and knowing myself, I know personally that I can handle having a baby and homeschooling my kids. But it's not what I am planning on doing. My 6yr old will be going back to school next year, and once I get my 8 yr old caught up and a little advanced, I plan on putting her back in school also. My husband also taught it was strange at first, but now he sees the benefits from it, and he has even recommended it to his co-workers that have children with ADHD. Good luck to you!

Keep on praying about it. Thats the best way to make sure that it whats best for you and your family. Get hubby involved in it to. And at least he is worried about you and how you will deal with it. I know there are alot of programs out there that give you step by step instruction and that there are tons of homeschooling moms on Mamasource. Then show him what you find. Be open to whatever is instore. Have you thought about the prep schools that do like 2 classes in the school and then you are responsible for the other stuff... I dont know of any school names but I know lots of people that attend the school (maybe Christian Prep) Good luck.

T., my husband felt the same way as yours. It was very difficult because I felt I was being led to homeschool and he was very much against it. He thought homeschoolers were weirdos.

It really helped us to go to a homeschool convention. There is one coming up in May in Arlington that you could see if your husband would be open to attending. You can find info here:
http://www.homeschoolbookfair.org

My husband was able to see other men whose families are homeschooling. He was able to see children that looked and acted normal and were not dressed up in what he called "prairie dresses". After talking with all of the different curriculum providers, he was convinced we could do it academically, but he still had social concerns.

My husband is a big football lover, so it helped when he heard that Tim Tebow, a college football Heismann Trophy winner, was homeschooled all the way through highschool. Google his name and share the info with your husband if he is a sports lover. North Texas has an extensive homeschool sports program.

Here are some statistics you can share with your husband about academics, etc:
http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/homeschool-statis...

Here's some information about what helped me when my husband wasn't on board:
http://www.successful-homeschooling.com/anti-homeschoolin...

Ask God to show you the right time to broach these issues with your husband. Ask him to give your husband an open heart. Don't be demanding when talking about it. Let your husband know you understand and respect his concerns. That is so important.

My husband is very on board with homeschooling at this point, so things can change.

T.,

I was in your shoes many years ago. I started looking into homeschooling before my oldest was even in Kindergarten. I just did a lot of research about homeschooling. When we started seeing my daughter lose her love for learning (in 3rd grade), my husband's eyes were opening. It was an extremely frustrating year for all of us. On top of that, my other daughter (1st grade at the time) was way ahead of her classmates and was bored out of her mind. She was tested and ranked 99th percentile in math and 96th in reading. Then there was my son who was a handful. We felt strongly that he would be the child the schools would want on medication because he was an extremely busy and hyper child. One day while we were discussing the frustration of it all he casually mentioned maybe we could look into homeschooling. I went to a homeschool convention that was held within a couple of weeks, gathered a bunch of material and information, brought home papers to sign for an umbrella school (figuring he'd feel better if he could still refer to a "school" but we educated at home) and we were off. At the time we started we had 4 children and my youngest was a baby. We only did the umbrella school for the first year. We have homeschooled for 10 years now and have 6 children. My oldest graduated last June and is now in college. My other daughter is 17 and is dual enrolled in college (taking college courses for high school and college credit). My other 4 children are boys ages 14, 10, 8 and 6.

I will say that you will need that support from your husband. I had minimal support and I would say he had reservations on and off throughout the years. He could see that I have a wonderful relationship with my kids (and so far haven't gone through all those horror stories you hear about parents and teens). Now he has seen that the kids are going on to college and doing really well (my oldest is an honors student).

Hang in there and keep praying. It wasn't over night that my husband got on board. What he needed to see is how our daughter was losing her confidence and her joy for learning was going out the window. I still feel awful that we had to watch that happen before we stepped in, but that's what it took.

If you want to talk some more, feel free to write.

M.