For Parents Who Chose to Homeschool

We've been homeschooling for several years. I don't have a degree; I know people who are horrified that I'm "allowed" to teach my kids, but I don't worry about it.

My husband was more cautious than I was, but he's a complete convert now. :)

Extended family members tend to be more skeptical, but my kids are bright, articulate, well informed and have a lot of friends, so there's not much for them to complain about. :)

Well, I know that I have 3 or 4 friends that homeschool and I am actually going to be pulling my own daughter from public school next year so I can homeschool.

2 or 3 of them don't have a college degree so I don't see that as an issue (ion fact they never even started college so you have more than they do)

There are lots of programs and you can always do something like K12 or a virtual school and call it homeschooling.

Homeschooling is a great option and I am proud to live in a country in which we have choices for educating our children. Many people, however, still do not understand how or why home education works, nor do they believe parents can do a suitable job. That is silly considering how much educators stress the importance of the parents' involvement toward ensuring a child's academic success. Go figure. Anyway, here's my response to your question.

First, ask him for a time when the two of you can discuss [your child's name]; whether or not we will homeschool him. Ask him what he thinks. That way, you'll have his full attention and he will be involved. If you both choose to homeschool, it really is better to have Dad's agreement in the matter rather than to just say "I want to homeschool" and go against his wishes. You're right. When you need time to prepare, or when you are sick or have an emergency, you will turn to him to pick up the load, so don't force him into it. Start the conversation at a time that is mutually convenient and quiet. Do not dump on him as soon as he hits the door. Prior to your meeting, write out your reasons for homeschooling on notecards so that you don't forget your points. But, try to state your viewpoint in 5-minute intervals without going beyond 15 - 20 minutes total. When or if he attacks a point, be sure to listen and thank him for expressing concern for your welfare. Do not let yourself believe that he is questioning your intelligence or ability to teach elementary school material. (You will meet people who do, but don't believe it of your spouse. Really does set up a battleground in the mind.) Better to believe that he is concerned about the workload and stress on you. And, those are valid points. It is a lot of work. But, there are so many different types of curriculum, some even scripted for you! Some all packaged for every subject. All you have to know is how to read. And, as you continue to work with your child, you will learn with him how best he learns and how best to communicate a subject. No different than career educators. You also are entitled to attend workshops, seminars and sales directed at educators. These are wonderful, because they do help open your mind to new ways to share information. There are also shared learning experiences for your child, like co-ops and tutorials (which I can explain more in-depth offline or via telephone if you like). And, librarians are excellent resources for compiling reading lists and finding supplemental materials in your public library! So, you're not totally alone, like your husband may believe. You also can join an oversight program that will at least monitor your child's progress over the years, and you can participate in standardized testing to measure the success, though I'm not a huge advocate of standardized tests revealing much, honestly. Though, some homeschoolers love that. Finally, as the homeschool community grows, retailers and nonprofits both are providing more classes and programs to reach our market. There are listserves that can help you stay in the loop.

This area is a homeschooler's dream, and you have access to lots of resources and support groups in your area. No child should be left behind living here. REACH is one of the homeschool support groups in Williamsburg. And HEAV holds a convention every year in Richmond. If you're both still on the fence about homeschooling by June, you both could attend the convention to learn about and purchase curriculum, attend workshops on character development benefits, and talk one-on-one with your state's homeschool advocates. Sometimes, it's helpful for the Dads to meet more homeschoolers, and at HEAV he will be able to talk to those fathers who, like him, were a bit skeptical and now lead workshops encouraging other families along the way. They especially recognize the long-term benefits of home education for sons. Homeschooling can be a bit overwhelming, but there are so many people that can answer any questions or arguments he has. If you want specifics, I'd be happy to answer them via email or telephone. This is our 7th year homeschooling and I wish we had never placed my son in preschool.

If he's still totally against homeschooling, don't despair. Ask if, before he totally vetoes the idea, he is willing to at least attend a workshop or read a book about homeschooling. And, if he's not, then let it go for now. There have been many women who have simply waited. They may have started at grade 2, 7, or 11, but eventually, Dad realized that home education was worth reconsidering.

Homework assignment: Check out the following: http://www.vahomeschoolers.org/support/#Hampton for a list of support groups and tutorials in your area.
http://www.reachhomeschoolgroupva.com/
www.heav.org
and http://www.homeschoolcentral.com/support/virginia_homesch...

If you need more information, send me an email. A. Brown

I've been homeschooling for 12 years. We both like the idea of me homeschooling but would put our kids in school in a heart beat if we didn't want to homeschool anymore or our circumstances changed. We'd still be very much a part of their education anyway. tI started out as a year by year basis. Each year I'd think that I was going to do this for a year, then see what happens. It's been 12 years and I just had my 5th baby. My husband and I both have college degrees but anyone can homeschool. I'm thinking about giving myself a diploma (for fun) when my son graduates from HS....LOL

I think your husband may be nervous because a lot of people in general have reservations about HS'ing just because it's so different and sometimes there is a stigma attached. However, I'm sure if you just give it a 'try' he'll convert before you know it. As long as you are good with kids, creative, and involved your kids will learn very well regardless of what degree you do not have.

In my opinion having a bachelor's or masters or even PHD does not make one a good teacher. My degree is not education (I studied engineering), however I have taught children's piano after I had a baby and based on that experience I have confidence that I am good with children, and know how to respond to each child's different learning styles. As long as you attentive in that way, I think you will be fine! and your husband will see that right away.

Also keep them socially active. I'm sure your husband just doesn't want your kids to miss out things like that. :)

Do some research before approaching him whether or not you feel awkward about bringing it up. My husband was dead-set against it at first. But then through babysitting children and seeing what they are learning (or not), talking to people casually about what they do, showing how I'm teaching our oldest on a day to day basis and watching him grow, reading a couple articles for and against, his attitude changed. Knowing a coworker that he respected and finding out that they homeschool, his attitude changed some more. Then researching what are your choices in your area (curriculum vs public school vs private school)? Are there any homeschool "helps" in your area and if so what are they, how much do they cost, how would you work it in, etc? (By this I mean that in Keller, TX where we recently moved from, they have all kinds of great co-ops (my friend's wife is hispanic and she teaches several children (hers included) Spanish and another friend teaches those same children (hers included) art classes in her art studio. There is a local homeschooling center where you can go for questions, help, and even certain higher classes online. Some homeschool centers I've heard of have a real lab (for science classes, chemistry, etc), computers with software needed for some classes, etc. Lots of local places I went to would have "homeschool days" once a week or month: the place I used to take my son to gymnastics classes offered a special general P.E. class for homeschoolers, or for older kids a deal on gymnastics as an elective. Similar things were offered at a cheer school, a pottery place, a fitness center, Fossil Rim, a wildlife center, an astronaut museum, lots of museums would have a free day every week, all kinds of places! I even received an invitation to homeschool days for special field trips like a tour of the new Dallas Cowboy stadium, zoo, aquarium, etc. It was very easy for my friends to bring their older children to sit in on legislature meetings, court, etc for lessons in civics classes, and they also brought their children with them on voting days. The Dallas-Ft Worth area had endless SOOOO many museums of all kinds (art, modern art, sculpture, western, cowboy, theatrical, science/nature, general history, regional history, airplanes, cars, native american, whatever you can think of), playhouse/theaters, all kinds of things. I even heard of some homeschool baseball leagues, organized by age playgroups, stuff like that where children from families with similar mindsets or values could play together. See what your area has and what you can do with them. When we lived in DFW, we were seriously considering homeschooling for awhile because the options were so rich. Since moving, I think we will enroll our boys in a private school and do things with them on the weekends, because it is a lot more rural and a lot less to do. We will be taking family trips to towns like Charleston or Washington DC on weekends as we can, but the options just aren't the same. Perhaps you can still do a lot, but just need to dig deeper.
Once you have all your research, you can present it to your husband in an organized manner with a lot more confidence.
Another issue some have is "kids need social outlets". What are your options there? My son has friends in church, he joined a local awanas club at another church (ours didn't have that club), and just signed up for soccer. Is that enough? Does he need more? (My oldest, probably yes. He's extremely social and seems to thrive with others to interact with. Other children, it may be enough...my youngest seems more content to just chill, though he is in a mommy and me music "class").
Personally, I think that whether you homeschool or place them in a traditional school setting, as a parent, you are still primarily responsible for their education. Still undecided in where our sons are going for school, at least my husband and I are both in agreement about taking it a step at a time, and still doing good things together as a family, providing every opportunity we can. Instead of just reading history or civics or whatever, we can take them places. We can play games and bring them along with us so they can gain understanding in the everyday errands on how commerce, free enterprise, etc work. Etc, etc. I think it is SO important, no matter what you do, to teach your children how to learn and how to think, not just shove facts down their throats. I think that's where most schools are really failing. I would love to see more logic exercises and teaching children how to learn in our system. We can only go with our children so far. We need to empower them to get what they need on their own and think for themselves too.
But in answer to your question about approaching your husband: lay out your position in an organized manner. Think about what arguments may be able to come up against it, and write them down. Try to make sure you have an answer or suggestion for each argument you can think of, so you're acknowledging all sides. Are there things you should work on now and improve? (For example: probably harder to sell homeschooling to someone if you're all unorganized and can't get some basics done around the house like shopping or cooking. Not to downgrade a mom or say that we "have to" do those things perfectly all the time, but it's an argument that can be made: if you can't keep milk in the house and dinner isn't made half the time, how is it gonna be when you add more to your day? That kind of thing....keep it in mind and see if you can actually (realistically) handle it. Good luck to ya, whatever you guys decide for your family.

No I don't home school but do know someone who did.
Her mother does not have a degree in education and she HS all through to graduation. My friend went on to get her degree in accounting.
For early elementry there should be no reason why you can't HS your son.
The higher grades it gets trickier when it gets into complex math , if you aren't a math person ,but you can always get a regular teacher to teach him that, I know some teachers moon light as tutors as well.

neither my husband nor i have college degrees. he was and does work full-time, and i worked from 15-30 hours a week the whole time we homeschooled. we pulled my older son out of school in 9th grade, the younger halfway through 5th grade.
my husband was very leery about it at first. like most folks he was concerned not only about the academics (he figured i could handle that) but the ubiquitous social issues, that our kids would be missing out on important societal milestones (prom, graduation and so forth.) we agreed that if after 6 months it didn't seem to be going well we'd put #1 son back. the first few months were VERY rocky while we wobbled our way through, but then it clicked. #2 son was much more social and missed school more, but once he was tapped into the homeschool community it was great. and after a few years of homeschooling, the notion of going to public school just so you can attend dances or a gown for a day seem so very silly. and of course, there ARE dances and ceremonies for homeschoolers too if you want 'em.
i suggest you lay out your plan for your husband, with some back-up plans in place in case things don't work out. please emphasize to him that it will almost certainly change considerably from how you begin. it's an organic experience that grows and morphs with family needs and deepening understanding of how it works for you. it's very individual.
i hope you don't limit yourself to early elemental education. homeschooling isn't just an educational venue, it's a way of life, a family philosophy. public school is always there as an option if you want or need it. so why not think big?
good luck!
khairete
S.

Well both my husband and I planned on me homeschooling our children years before we even had them. We both grew up in the same city and knew that public school was not the way we wanted our children to go. I did work part time as a preschool teacher for three years before adopting our boys and gained alot of experience and wisdom for teaching young children. My husband holds a college degree I do not. I am the one that home schools our sons and he works full time.
I'm concerned that your tone sounds as though he feels that you are not educated enough to teach you son (?). I really think that what is needed to teach is a caring heart something that a mom/dad would already have. Who would better teach your child? Who would better care that he REALLY learn? YOU. I was a horrible student and hated school. But now that I am an adult I understand what education is and how it can be used for a person's benefit. I have nothing bad to say about it. It's good for all concerned.
I think it would be wise for both of you to be on the same page in regards that you both support home schooling him or problems could arise later on for all of you. Having the support you need is an important part of homeschooling. Also it sets the tone for the whole experience and successful outcome of your son's education.
I think that it would be wise for your husband to do some research on the subject and get a clearer idea of what it really is. Plenty of misconceptions about it out there from folks who have never done it :) Also finding a home schooling support group in your area would be nice for you both to check out and get some experience and wisdom from people that are doing it close to where you live.
Hope it all comes into place for you ")
Best Regards,
C.

My boys went to private Christian school for the first few years, then the market fell apart and we went from making a 6 figure income to being on foodstamps and out of work for 2 years.
When my husbands job (mortgage industry) was going down the toilet we started discussing schooling options. We knew we couldn't afford to keep them in private school, so we discussed public.
We discovered we were both on the same page as to what is wrong with public schools (teachers and students not allowed to pray, no more pledge of allegiance, sex education at a very early age with "safe-sex" and "same-sex" relationships being talked about without parental consent, etc.) and decided that for us to send our children to a place for 7 hours a day that teaches (in word and deed) many things opposite what we believe in, then have them home for a few hours and expect our influence to be greater than the school's, was a ridiculous notion.
So I brought up homeschool and we discussed it for several weeks. I do not have a college degree, I didn't even think about my education during the decision-making process. I know how to teach my children, and they are all A students.
My husband was involved in the process as far as deciding what classes to take and what field trips may be beneficial, but not in the daily teaching.

My hubby and I are both products of the public school system. He feels children should be in a school environment and if I die that is where they are going. No discussion, no Christian school, Public school only, that's where they belong. (according to him)
He does see the benefits and the complete turn around my daughter has made. He does see that my son is now ahead a full year than he was before. He knows I can do it, and supports me. But he wouldn't continue or try to locate a less stressful situation for our daughter if I were not in the picture.
That being said I tend to tell him what I am doing and then do it. He thought I was nuts, said I really wasnt a 5th grade teacher. Said she'd fall behind. I said I'm doing it anyway and I did and now she is fine and my son is too.
I tend to do things by jumping in with two feet while he wades in cautiously.

If you believe that it is the best for your son, get educated. Find out what curriculum you want to use, find a homeschool group. Set up a table that is school only.
Make the commitment to do school and not bills between 9 adn 3 or however long it takes for you to do his schooling.

I have three and a half years of college, ( psych and math). He holds advanced degrees in computer science.

I have two very good friends who home school (one in NC and one in FL). Their husbands are both VERY supportive. Then one in NC home schools 4 kids and the on in FL home schools one. They both have college degrees--but not in education. They both use programs, but I'm not sure which one. The girl in NC is very religious, so she probably uses a religious-based home schooling program. They are both amazed at the amount of activities available for the home school children to interact with other children (home school sports teams, programs at aquariums/museums, cooking classes, etc)

I think with any major parenting decision both parents need to be supportive. Do your research and have information available for your husband. Also, take it year by year.

My oldest is in kindergarten and I love his school/teacher. I would not consider home schooling at this moment. I do have a bachelor's and master's degree in education, so I would feel comfortable doing it when/if the time came. It would take a lot to convince my husband!

Best of Luck!

I plan to home school my son when he gets to school age. I have a teaching degree and taught in public schools for 5 years before becoming a parent and wanting/being able to stay home with him. My husband wants me to homeschool more than I want to. Yes I think it will be better for my son, but also I kind of want a breather! We'll approach the "what to do when my son is in calculus and I don't know a thing about calculus" in many years when we get there. For now, we would prefer he have one-on-one time with me to learn as opposed to being 'forgotten' in a class of 20plus kids.

If you are not sure, or husband has doubts, both of you write a pros and cons list and talk about your fears/worries/goals with homeschooling. Good luck!

Since you're only talking about early elementary schooling--why don't you put the children in school and go back to college while they're there?

The only concern I would have is alot of kids have a very hard time transitioning from home schooling to going to school at an early age. I have a few friends that have tried to do it with the same thought process of only for a few years and tried to send thier kids to school and the kids did not make it in the classroom. Alot of the reason is because the long hours at school, opposed to the short hours at home.

i was homeschooled when i was in grade school and am now homeschooling my kindergartener. my husband and i both agreed that this is how we wanted to teach our kids and there are not any really good catholic schools near us. prior to starting last fall i got involved in a homeschooling group in my area. we went to some of the weekly events they had and i asked a lot of questions about curriculum and such. there are also homeschooling conventions where they will show you different types of curriculum and you can purchase books there. i would definitely figure out the type of program and books you'd like to use and sit down with your husband and look through them and discuss each other's fears and expectations. i think starting when they are young is less intimidating and it is fun to supplement with subject areas that you know they will enjoy. good luck to you and your family!

I am homeschooling for the first time this year using A Beka Academy. I have a 3rd and 5th grader. They watch their subjects on-line so they have a classroom with a teacher and students (it is pre-recorded). You as the the on-site teacher get a manual with instructions. You have the option of the fully accredited program where A Beka issues report cards and transcripts. I live in VA and hold a HS diploma but with this program I check the correspondence school box on the form. Due to my husband's schedule I do the studying with the kids and he will sometimes review spelling words in the evenings or they will read to him. As far as one parent being for it and the other not being as excited - everyone has their own opinions or is just not as informed.

I chose to homeschool because I did not want to play along with the political games in the public elementary school to ensure my kid got into the "good class". Also, after having them in private the public schools "dumbed down" the subjects. They are more challenged this year.