Hello,
My 4 year old son has recently started "exposing" himself and showing his privates. He plays with kids who think this is funny and now is starting to ask to see other kids' parts.
We have read him stories regarding what is "private" and have discussed that anything that is covered by a bathing suit should not be shown and/or should not be asked to seen by others.
He is still playing these "games" with other kids though. I don't want him to feel ashamed for being curious... but, I also don't want this to lead into anything more.
Any advice?
Thank you for the responses...im curious for those of you who say to "nip it in the bud" and "take care of this problem" before I have "social services" at my door...my question was for advice as to HOW to do this. I understand that this is a problem and that is why I was reaching out...not to feel attacked that my son was going to become a threat to society or anything.
As a group of moms, Im hurt that I received more attacking responses towards my question than helpful ones. I hope no one else has to go through this totally normal, but slightly embarrassing issue!
My daughter was told that anything that her bathing suit covers is not to be shown to anyone but mom, dad, or the doctor. Keep reinforcing it if you see him showing them to others or asking to see theirs.
Some kids at this age, do not know what "private" is.
Or how to be, it or act it.
Your son may not know.
And to him, it is just a funny "game."
So, he does not understand the literal, meaning of it.
Tell him, stop it.
Don't do that. Don't do that in front of others.
It is not appropriate.
I think you have to start punishing him for this. This is not a "game" and he needs to understand that. If he doesn't start to realize how wrong his behavior is, you could be looking a something extremely serious in the future.
If my GD came home and told me your son did that, I would be contacting you and you would REALLY not like what I have to say. I don't think you should contact the other parents either. There is no way you can approach this without making it seem like you are putting the blame/responsibility for this behavior on the other children. Those parents CAN'T make their kids not laugh; it is up to YOU to make your child stop the behavior.
My Mom's generation too care of it with a spanking and a grounding.
Kids learned to keep their pants on in a hurry.
Just keep reminding him. He'll get over his fascination.
You can't have friends over if you are going to do that. It's not nice and there will be other consequences if I ever hear of that again. There are things in life that are not appropriate and I will enforce my rules about it at will. Curious is one thing, but this is just immaturity and showing out.
I had a friend whose kid did this in school in first grade because the other boys dared him to. You can imagine how embarrassed and mad she was.
She was also questioning how he got to that age without understanding how inappropriate it was.
This is pretty normal.
You see, privacy hasn't really been taught at this age. You're probably still helping him clean up sometimes after using the toilet, seeing him nude in the tub or shower, and he likely runs around the house half dressed when he's getting his clothes on.
So it's time to start introducing the idea that we keep the door closed when we're using the toilet, getting dressed, etc. And that he shouldn't come into your room when you and Dad are doing the same. That we need privacy when we're nude, and we give others privacy.
This is knowledge he needs to grasp the concept of not showing his private parts to others. So start there.
:-)
It will pass. I think my son was about this age when he started showing his rear-end to any available pair of eyes. Now, at age 7, he is the picture of modesty. :)
It appears he's too young to fully grasp what you're trying to teach him. I would continue doing as you are, but then also speak to the parents of these children, and have them ask their kids to not encourage this behavior. They don't see this as bad, just funny. He's going to keep doing this until he doesn't get the laughs and attention. That's natural. Kids like to please and make people happy, and by them laughing and encouraging, he's getting a pay-off for doing it. So, yeah.. I would speak to the parents (be sure not to come off as accusatory or insinuating that their kids are bad).
