When Is It Time to Stop Joint Bathing?

There is no certain age. I think it is time when somebody becomes uncomfortable with it, whether that is the child or one of the parents.

I have a 2 and a 3 1/2 year old and I shower with them almost exclusevely because it so much faster and easier to get them clean. This topic has come up recently between my husband and I. He thinks I should stop soon, but I have no problem with it. They pay no attention to the fact I'm naked. I am 2 months pregnant so I think it will be practical for my husband to take over bathing the 2 older boys when the baby arrives and it will probably slowly wean off from there for us since I will be doing the baby baths. So I say as all the others, do it until the child starts noticing or you start feeling uncomfortable. I haven't experience either yet and it is truely much much easier to hop in the shower with them vs flooding the bathroom and getting my clothes all wet leaning over the tub trying to scrub em up. :)

You're son will let you know himself. He'll say, "mommy, I want to take my bath alone."

Also, stop when you also don't want to take a bath with him anymore. Soon enough, the two of you will be too big to fit into it together.

I say keep doing it, just put a swimsuit on!!!

I think it's a natural progression that becomes obvious when the kid/parents need to stop bathing together. My kids are boys and when things became uncomfortable for me I would stop that behavior (i.e. bathing together, dressing in front of them, using the restroom). When they started commenting on my body parts and took interest I knew it was time. I didn't stop all behavior all at once. Gradually as they got older certain things became inappropriate (in my house). I think different families have different ideas of modesty. Just go with your gut.

Funny, I have been wondering the same thing recently. With my 2 1/2 year old son it is about 50/50 taking baths on his own or showers with us. Lately he has been really into taking showers with mommy or daddy. A lot of times on weekends I will just take him in the shower with me because my husband is at work and I can cut down half the time getting ready if he just comes in with me. I don't know the answer to that question myself. I just keep thinking that I will know when the time comes. Like others have said too, it depends on your comfort level and modesty and will not be the same for everyone.

Your worries of scarring your little guy with images of naked parents cracks me up. :) I don't have the experience yet, but we have always bathed with our little girl too (she is only 4.5 months right now). I have also thought about your question because we love bathing with our daughter. We have decided that we will make the decision when WE begin to feel uncomfortable with it...don't know when that will be. Perhaps when Charlotte starts asking lots of questions. We think it is definitely important to be open with our child, but agree, that there is a time when we will want to bath her from the outside of the tub. I think the level of comfort with nudity will definitely vary from family to family. And maybe the comfort with nudity and shared nudity in the same space is different! :) I don't know. I remember that my mom used to walk down the hallway with her towel sort of on...forever it seemed. I remember hitting a point where I thought...jeez mom...cover up a little! This wasn't until I was probably a near teen though. :) My sister is the same way as my mom---not very modest. I however, am a bit more so. I think different kids react differently to it, despite the same parenting. :) I guess I went on a bit of a tangent...Just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone with your question.

My thoughts are, is it really bad to allow your family to see you naked. We were never overly modest in my house growing up. Once I became a teenager I was a bit more modest around my dad by wearing a bra and underwear around the house, but if he walked by my room and I had the door open when I was changing I didn't freak out and vice versa. I think the more awkward you are around your family when it comes to our bodies, the more awkward they become as teenagers. I know most people believe in totally modesty, but it's your baby, not just a random toddler.

I have four kids and one on the way and my oldest daughter (15) would bath with her dad everyonce in a while. She was 2 and looked at him in the private area and kinda laughed at him. That was the end of that. But I still bathed with them until about the age of 4. I have two toddlers 3yr son and 2yr daughter and they bath together and with me everyonce in a while, plus they bath with their older sisters 15 and 12. The older daughters love it because this is a way for them to play with the kids as well. So I would say stop when you feel uncomfortable with it. By four years of age, they start to remember the difference of boys and girls, but it is a wonderful bonding time. My husband is trying to stop the boy from bathing with us girls, but I want him to become comfortable with the fact that no matter what we look like with out cloths that we are secure with it. We walk around the house, (windows closed in our underware and bras, even my husband) and it has never been strange in our household at all.

I think it's a matter of personal preference and comfort level (as long as you're not still doing it when he's an adolescent!). I have two boys and although we never bathed together I stopped changing, showering, etc. in front of them when they started commenting on my private parts (maybe age 5?). They know all the proper terms for male and female anatomy, but I didn't feel comfortable with it anymore and didn't think it was appropriate if they were starting to pay attention. My 8-year-old will still sometimes walk in on me when I'm in the shower or bathroom and I just tell him that mommy needs her privacy. I don't see why your husband ever needs to stop bathing, changing, showering in front of him unless it makes one of them uncomfortable; maybe that's a matter of personal preference too.

We bathed with our first until he was about three; we quit for two reasons: one, I was pregnant, making sitting together harder, and two, we moved, and no longer had a big soaking tub. He still wants to hop in with me if I'm relaxing, and every so often I let him, but we got to a point where practicality, not modesty, won. He wants to be in the tub for an hour or more; I don't have that kind of time, so I put him in and let him play, and it's great time for me to keep him "contained"!

Also, I've found that with potty training, and only having one bathroom, he's always in the bathroom seeing me naked anyway.

Hi, I am a mom of two boys-5 1/2 and 2 1/2. I think it is time for you to stop naked baths, just put on a swim suit, I don't think it matters too much for your husband though, unless he feels funny about it. Have fun with your 2 year old!
C.

This is a personal decision. I think it's great that you all enjoy doing this together. Two is still pretty young. Kids start asking questions about the differences between boys and girls and men and women, and this is a great time for those talks. Plus, the human body isn't something to ashamed of. Obviously one has to learn what's appropriate in our culture! Sorry, I'm kind of all over the place here! I don't think you'll scar your son with images of his naked parents. I think it's important for boys and girls to see what people's bodies look like--they're not perfect, like the media shows us.

Anyway, I think for now you have some time to enjoy this special time with him. I think when you start feeling a little uncomfortable with ii, you will want to stop. Maybe it will just be father and son at that time. . . ?

Sorry this is so rambling.

G.

I believe the best time to stop is when they start asking questions about or talking about your private parts. If there is a lot of that going on, then it may be time to stop. My oldest son is 4 and still showers with mom and dad occassionally. He knows what his private parts are called but doesn't really know about mine. He doesn't seem to pay any attention to that! Although, I am realizing that he is getting older and will start school so we are stopping that. I don't want him going to school saying, "I showered with my mom/dad". But I believe it's very healthy for kids to have a close and comfortable relationship with their parents. You should never show that you're ashamed of your body!

I hope that helps!

~N. S.

my oldest is now almost 4 and I stopped when he was about 2.5, just started getting uncomfortable myself, sometimes I still will bathe but I put a suit on...

S.,
Every family is different. In my house growing up, we were very comfortable with our bodies. We didn't close the bathroom door except when we had company. Occasionally we showered and bathed together till my brother and I hit puberty when everyone got a bit more modest, but my parents still walked around naked and I bet they still would if we didn't both have spouses. =) I'm not scarred for life, in fact, I think I have a really healthy appreciation for my body and others' bodies. If this grosses you out, then it's not for you. I think what is appropriate for your family is what you should do. If any of you are uncomfortable, cover up. If not, that's ok too. Bodies are amazing and I think sometimes kids get the wrong idea if we are hyper vigilant about keeping ourselves covered up all the time.

I stopped showering with my daughter when she was about 2, except for when we were both completely covered with sand and both needed to hop in quick. I still help her to wash her hair though, but now that she is four and a half I started knocking on the bathroom door before entering.

The advice I was given is that at the age of 4, children should not see the parent of the opposite sex naked anymore, and stop bathing with adults. It will always be OK if your son sees your husband naked, but at around the age of 6 he will get a strong sense of privacy for himself and others.

I had my husband give our daughter her baths, because it was some of the only quality time he could get with her. When she turned 2, he just started wearing his underwear in the tub with her. Now at 2 1/2, he still bathes with her, but she kicks him out of the tub halfway through, because there isn't enough room for her to play if he is in the tub. I think he will stop bathing with her when there is no longer any room for him.

I stopped the joint bathing when my son was one. Now I just sit on the toilet seat and watch him play. We can still be interactive together, even though I'm not in the tub with him. I'm sure your child is not scarred by having you guys in the tub naked with him, however. I know it's fun.

My daughter is 6 and just recently started expressing interest in having her privacy and to take a shower without any assistance by herself. So I let her do just that, it took a few times to make sure she could wash her hair properly and get all the soap out and she does a great job.

I still do get dressed in front of her via she will get dressed in front of me, we don't close the bathroom door etc.. We are the only two in the house and were females so that's why.

With a little boy I'd say around 4-6 years old mom needs to stop being nude around son. Dad isn't as big of a deal like if your in a locker room at the gym or local swimming pool not a big deal with dad.

I really think we're way too "modest" in America! (Prudish would be another way to put it!) Have you ever looked at a National Geographic magazine? People all over the world run around naked or half-naked and none of them seem to need therapy later on in life. LOL!

My son is 2 and I have no problem being naked in front of him.

I have to agree with the other moms who said to stop when one of you becomes uncomfortable about it. Certainly just before he hits puberty if you get that far still being naked. (But again, that is just a cultural preference- some cultures families bathe in a communal bath their whole lives or take saunas naked with family and friends their whole lives too.)

If you are uncomfortable being naked in front of your son he will sense that, so you would want to stop at that point so he doesn't get mixed messages.

I really believe if we could be more comfortable with our naked bodies and teach our children to be comfortable with theirs, we wouldn't have so much of the body-image, weight, and self-esteem issues, not to mention the confused feelings about sex later on.

Actually children are VERY comfortable with their bodies- it is WE who teach them to be UNCOMFORTABLE.

Sorry, I know I stepped up on my soapbox there. But I really don't think seeing your parents naked needs to be something that "scars" somebody later in life :)

If either your husband or you are uncomfortable being naked around your son, you should stop, for the simple reason that he will pick up your feelings and get the vibes that you are doing something "wrong".

Also, if your son is uncomfortable, whether it's because he's old enough that he doesn't want mommy to see him naked, or he just wants to bathe alone (and can do so safely), you should stop the communal bathing.

Unless you run an extremely modest household, your son is going to see your husband naked on occassion, I would imagine, and I don't see any problems with that.

Swimsuits are a great idea if you want to continue showering together!!

You won't scar him by letting him see you naked. It's a cultural thing, and we Americans are way prudish in that department. Many European beaches are "topless" without anyone thinking twice about it.

I am the single mom to a three year old boy. He's nearly three and a half and I've stopped letting him shower with me. Occasionally if he has an accident or needs a shower at the same time I'm planning to take one, I will still let him in, but when he turns three and a half I'm going to quit altogether. He'll be starting preschool in the fall and I don't want any tales of my nude body circulating around his school! :) Seriously, I think it's a good idea to quit showering with opposite-gender children by about the age of 4. However, each family is different and there may not be a "correct" answer to this question.
I did shower occasionally with my daughter until she was 7 or so.

I always did the same with my children. I have a six year old daughter and a four year old son. They still occasionally ask to do so, and I still somestimes do. My husband and I decided that it is inappropriat for my daughter to see him naked being that she is getting older, but both of my children see me naked (mostly if they have to use the potty when I'm in there or I'm changing).

I personally feel that when they start asking to many questions or getting too curious is when you should consider changing habits.

I have always taught my children how important that NOBODY EVER touches them.

I also grew up in a house that we always ocassionaly saw my mom naked and I believe that it helpes grow up being comfortable with our bodys.

Being that your son is 2 I really think that it won't affect him all being that they rarely remember that at such a young age.

I hope this helped. I you have anymore questions feel free to contact me.

Good Luck and you sound like great parents.

Hi
I have never been a fan of joint bathing, however I think its o.k. for your son to see his daddy naked but not mommy.

I quit showering with my oldest when he was old enough to be curious about my body and wanting to touch. He was around 14 months. My youngest is just starting to become aware. I figure they don't need to have pictures of a naked woman, no matter who she is, in their head at such a young age. They've got many adult years ahead of them for that. =)
My boys (ages 5 and 1) still shower with my husband occasionally. It's WAY easier and faster than hassling with 2 active boys in a bathtub. Their bodies are built the same so there's not much to be curious about.
My 5-year-old is mature enough to know about and respect the human body. He'll stop the group showering when he starts becoming self-conscious or uncomfortable with it. Right now, he's a carefree little boy who has very innocent views on nudity and that's just fine with me.

I really think the solution is simple: wear swimsuits! The closeness of a family bath is good for your 2 year-old, as well as for his parents. Actually though the big issue here is when his cognitive memory kicks in. Usually this isn't at age 2. I'm not a medical specialist or anything, just an opinionated person, but it seems to me you could keep doing the family baths until he is age four. Nudity isn't a bad thing. If you are worried, either only you or all of you wear a swimsuit when he turns three. Until then, I think you're safe.

I'd say you're past the point. We took ours in the shower as
infants, but by the time they were a year we stopped that, including having them bathe with naked siblings over five years old. After that, the kids had to wear swimsuits and a bath was likened to playing in the pool. You can tell for sure that it's time to stop when they start grabbing privates or focusing visually on them. That signals awareness of gender is starting, and it's time to work on developing privacy.

SAHM of seven

I have a 2 year old son and my husnad takes him in the shower . It is easirer for the both of us. I have no problem with it. I take him in the shower with me when I need to. When my husband has to work late or is doing an over night shift. I also have a 5 year old daughter. I take her in the shower with me too. I do it usally after we go to the beach or if we have been at the race track all day and we both are just too dirty to get clean.It makes it so much easier. She no longer showers with my husband. As soon as she strted going to school at 4 years old we stopped. We didnt want her to say something that the staff or teachers would take the wrong way and then you have a mess on your hands. So My thinking is stop the oppositte sex showers when they are ready to start school and do the same sex showers until you or your child is uncomfortable.

I would honestly say, when you are no longer comfortable with it, or your son is no longer confortable with it. My daughter is 5 and if we are at a new place, more often than not she'll shower with me. She doesn't like being in a bath in a place she doesn't know. I have no problems with it, as she gets bathed and is not scared. There isn't a "time" I think you can say it should stop. You know your child best, and if you think it is time, then it is. My husband will give her a bath, but does not bathe with her. He is uncomfortable with that.