So, again not a mom question, but I am just boggled. I posted yesterday about wording an invite for a housewarming I was throwing for my sister. I JUST asked her yesterday about confirming the date, and she said the date was a go. I also asked my mom who is "supposed" to be helping out, and she also said ok. I am halfway through filling out the invites this morning when i get a message that the day really isnt going to work for EITHER of them!? I say ok, but why didnt anyone know this when i asked YESTERDAY? Now my mom makes EVERYTHING about her, and she just learned that her sister from out of town couldnt make it that day and thats why she wanted the day changed. But she got mad at my sister for telling me that. Makes no sense!
Anyways, I tell my sister that I will change the day, but as of tonight when all the invites are filled, that will be the final date so make sure its ok. I get a message back about how she is so busy, and stressed out and shes tired of making people happy so do whatever i want? I nicely tell her that I am trying to make HER happy, so all Im asking is for a date. She says, just stick with the original date, "I could care less." ???????
I really feel like I should just forget the whole thing now. I'm getting MY head bit off when Im trying to plan something nice for her, and being made to feel like its a big inconvienence for anyways the way she's acting. So I told her, Maybe we should just wait on the whole thing. Im pretty angry. Should I even pursue throwing her a party at this point?
After thinking about it all day, I've decided to forget it. No matter what I have tried to do in the past when it comes to my family has turned out negative and stressful. I always find myself regretting my efforts in the end, so I am stopping before I start this time. My husband totally agrees too, he says he was surprised I was even trying. My family doesnt have the best track record :(
I wouldn't go through with a party at this point. Sounds like she doesn't care O. way or the other anyway. I'd schedule it for the 12th of NEVER! lol
It sounds like you want the party more than your sister. So let your sister off the hook. Instead of holding onto anger, ask her how you can help with her stress level instead. If she says you can't, then give her a kiss and a hug and remind her that she has your phone number. Forget the party and buy her a nice gift for her new house.
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ugh! sorry you're going through this. I agree with the other ladies...don't throw a party for someone who doesn't want it. It was a nice gesture but apparently it's a problem and you're getting upset too.
And definitely talk to her and just tell her there's no need to get stressed...you just wanted to do something nice for her but it's no big deal. Don't go into the whole explanation to prove your point....reading this I can see it's your mom who is making it unnecessarily stressful. :(
It sounds like your mom has frustrated both of you, and your sister is giving up. I would TALK to her and see if this is what is going on. Ignore whatever your mom's issues are with the date and do what works for your sister, if she still wants one. I am one that will do the, "Do whatever you want!" thing. I know it is frustrating on the receiving end, but she is probably just overwhelmed. If she is still nasty, and/or doesn't want it, then don't.
Nope. Don't throw the party. Since mom wants to make it about her, then she can plan the party. Don't borrow trouble. Save the time and money for something you want to do that benefits you and yours.
L.
Not a chance. She sounds like an ungrateful, spoiled brat. Not saying she is one, but she's acting like one. It sounds like this party you are planning as a nice gesture for her is not being received as such, so I'd save yourself the trouble and forget it.
I would cancel it. Sounds like your sister does not have a back bone and is a little flaky right now.
Your mom has forgotten that since she is not the hostess, she cannot change the dates
Instead just give your sister and her family a really nice house waring gift and pull yourself out of this..
Throw a nice party for you and your husband instead for friends.Sometimes, families just need a break from each other.
It sounds like your mom is the one stressing you both out and she's taking it out on you. I hate messages. Call her and find out how she's feeling. If she is truly unappreciative, then yes, cancel your part in it, but if your mom is the one causing the drama, you should try to work with her. Good luck.
She told you to keep the original date, so keep it and leave it at that. Don't stress the small stuff. And if anyone else has a problem with it, tell them you can't make everyone happy and truly if people wanted to go, they would make it a priority. Good luck.
Reading some of your previous posts, I see you as a person who really, really wants to do the "right" thing to bring about family and neighborhood harmony. It's a lovely impulse, as long as it's in touch with reality.
What I'd like to suggest is that there could be a touch of co-dependency in your efforts. Could you be so busy mind-reading what others want or expect that you are failing to consider your own feelings and needs – at least until they get stomped on? I know whereof I speak, because I've done similar heroics for my family and friends for decades.
It's not healthy. Read a couple of good books (Co-Dependent No More is a good starting place).
And let the party idea go, accept that you'll probably get some flack for that, too. But everybody around you is working at cross-purposes right now. The party might happen, but put too much strain on too many people for reasons that are beyond your control.
If people ask you why you aborted "their" celebration, just observe with a smile that it seemed to be causing too much trouble, and you noticed you felt no pleasure in all the confusion that was arising.
