Daughters Hair Is Out of control..HELP

Have you thought about getting her a straight perm. They work great and would be a lot less time consuming on both you and her.

There is a japanese permanent straightening method that Izzazu salon does, but it is pricey! It is really incredible, though. Or try a more reasonable straightening done at the salon at the Marriot downtown. Good luck!

One of my girlfriends gets her hair straightened using this Asian hair process. Granted, it's quite costly -- she'll spend $500 to straighten it. (The cost depends upon length I think. Her hair is past her shoulders.) The process lasts about six months I believe and she wakes up and her hair is pin straight. Even after showering, it's straight.

Let me know if you want the exact name of this process.

Good luck!

T. :)

hi H.. your daughter reminds me of me, when i was little! ive learned over time to embrace the curl... rather then fight it. its much easier that way, and less time consuming. i spent countless hours getting ready for school and feeling so self conscious about my hair... and all along people were telling me how pretty it was??? i hated it! once i got out of high school, i started to spend more money on my hair and salons and so on. i learned how to properly straighten it, and take better care of it. i use a great product made by bed head called superficial. its a smoothing spray, but i spray once or twice in my palm and rub my hands together. then i smooth it over my hair while its still wet and it really helps to tame my curl and manage the frizz. i dont spray it directly on the hair though b/c then it looks greasy. also, when i do have time to straighten my hair... i have to start when its wet and blow it out and constantly brush it with a round brush. you wuld probably have to help your little girl with this, otherwise her arms will get very tired. its a great ideal to use a detangler before this also. then once my hair is blown out and straghtened, i have to go over it all in layers with the straightening iron. i use a chi, which is a salon quality brand name. i remember having a revlon brand one that was only about 20 bucks and it really burnt my hand too. very frustrating. get a better flat iron and it works soooo much better! i also will use the superficial when im done with the flat iron to help smooth everything out. i think its just the natural pattern of our hair though... if there is any humidity in the air, or if i sweat, or sleep on my "straight" hair, its automatically curly again. its just the way it is :o( i wish good luck to you and your daughter and hope you find a solution that works for you. oh... one more thing. i almost forgot. when i was little, my mom took me and had a straightener done to my hair at a salon. it was like the same stuff they use to take a perm out of peoples hair. that worked good for a while, but grew out eventually. just a thought.

no no no!! Don't listen to people telling you to fight the curls or to use a chemical relaxer!! Curly hair is so different and CAN be controlled! I have curly hair myself and Ouidad changed my hair life!! Not only the products, but the specially designed hair cut that made all the difference! I pulled my hair straight for YEARS fighting the curl. Why fight? You can read all about it at their website, ouidad dot com.

Good luck!!

PS.....Boy, I sound like I work for them! I don't.....just love them!! You can find a Ouidad certified salon near you....

H.,

I'm a licensed cosmetologist (hair dresser) and used to own my own shop. You can take your daughter to a salon and have her hair chemically straightened. This can cause damage to the ends, so your daughter may need a trim afterwards. If you go this route, she will have to go back to have her roots chemically straightened every 4-6 weeks.

If you don't wish to go that route, then have her use White Rain shampoo and conditioner. There's something in those products that relaxes hair. Also, I'm assuming your dauther's hair is thick/dense. Your daughter can keep her length, but have layers cut into her hair. This will help greatly with the tangling and will help her hair to lay better. If it were my daughter, I would have her hair layered and use a product that separates, shines and closes the hair shafts. Then she would have a nicely shaped cut, and her curls would become more shiny and defined - a natural look, if you will.

In Him,
C.

hi. i too have curly hair and my hairdresser recommended a keratin treatment to control the frizz. apparently it is not like the japanese water treatment or a relaxer. it doesn't damage the hair and it washes out so you don't have curly on top and straight below when your hair grows like with the water treatment. you can also have curls with it, just more manageable. it is expensive but lasts 4-6 mos. might be worth looking into

Hi H.,

I've struggled with my own curly hair for years (though not as tight-curly as you describe your daughter's). I finally found help in a cool book, "Curly Girl," by Lorraine Massey (a poodle-curl gal herself). Lots of advice for "owners" of all different strengths of curly hair. I searched for a salon that understands curly, and found one in Philadelphia. (Actually -- I'm going there this morning!) It's a major event, and kinda pricey, but for me it's been amazing. (Signatures, on S. 19th St.) Anyway, I think you'll find help and inspiration in the book -- among other things, it's great to see photos of women and girls just loving their curliness!

BTW, my son inherited straight hair from his dad, rather than my curls, so I never had to deal with a child's curls.

Good luck!

P.

One of my daughters has the very same problem. Cork screw curls and ringlets. If she runs a brush threw it after it dries, it looks frizzy and her hair poofs out. Even worse on days it is full of static electricity. She has for years worn her hair up in a pony tail, pulled back away from her face, or some other creative way to try to manage her hair on days that she is being rushed or late to get out the door. She found straitening her hair to be the most manageable, even though it takes a very long time to do. Currently she is requesting to go to a salon and get her hair relaxed with a straitening perm so she does not have to straiten her hair everyday. That could be an option for your daughter as well, if you want to pay the money to have it done. Hope this helps...

I know how y'all feel - I have naturally curly hair too. The secret is to work with it and not against it. If she likes to wear her hair curly, I can help. First, and this might sound strange to you, don't wash her hair everyday. Do it only as needed. Curly hair tends to be very dry, promoting frizz. Use shampoo only every other washing. but if you do wash it every day, still shampoo every other day. Use conditioner every time. That's VERY important! Also, use a leave in conditioner - I use Paul Mitchell. Whatever hair products you use, they must be alcohol free - I use Dep hair gel from Wal-Mart. I also like to use a hair serum (Wal-Mart). I like Zero Frizz. Some hair serums are better than others.
Finally, look up some websites for curly hair -Yes, they're out there! Hope this helps! -E.

Hi H.,

You may want to consider getting her hair relaxed. It will calm the curl, frizz, etc and be much, much easier to fix her hair. If it's relaxed, dampness will NOT induce curl or anything else for that matter. I would go to a reputable salon and talk to them about it. FYI: there are several ways to relax hair, so talk to your stylist about the different methods but make sure you know what you want the end result to be. Hope this helps.

Has anyone ever recommened chemical straightening? This is a process almost like a perm, but without curlers. There is a special chemical that a professional hair stylist can apply and comb through to straighten your daughter's hair. It will eventually need to be reprocessed as the hair grows out, but I think this would be your best option. Also it would not be as damaging as the iron. I myself have used these products on customers of mine and I think they produce great results. E.

Hi H.,
My hair is thick also (I am going to be 40) and it had been most of my childhood. As a teenager, putting my hair in those scrunchies and such...I would suffer from alot of headaches. The weight of my hair was doing it!! My suggestion to you is to ask the hair stylist to "thin" her hair out...it should manage the curls and not cause problems in the future for your daughter!! (and it doesn't cost any extra for them to do it either!!) Good luck..G. from Pittsburgh

check around with some hair salons having curly hair myself I know what your dealing with. But I'm pretty sure there is a chemical straightening process. It's pretty expensive though, which is why i didn't do it. The last prices I heard a couple of years ago was $250 to make it wavy and like $500 for totally straight.

H.,

I have had naturally curly hair all my life. My hair responds to moisture in the atmosphere so it's especially curly when the weather is damp. I have a flat iron, but I rarely use it because, like you, I've burned myself, too. You mentioned shampoo and conditioner which will help if they're formulated for curly hair or they're the moisturizing variety. What you didn't mention was the type of comb or bursh you use or if you're putting any styling products on her hair. I keep a wide tooth comb in the shower to comb the conditioner thru my hair; I never use a brush. I have a 2nd wide tooth comb that I use for styling. I condition my hair everytime I wash it, but I don't wash my hair every day. Curly hair tends to be dryer and doesn't need to be washed every day unless it's dirty - like from playing sports. On the days that I don't wash it, I spritz my hands with a little water if I need to work my hair back into shape. Also, when she wears it curly, your daoughter shouldn't rub her hair dry with a towel, this make it frizzier. I just wrap the towel around my head to let the excess water seep into the towel and then unwrap it. Putting styling products in while the hair is still warm from the shower is helpful too. Always use a diffuser when blow drying. My daughter prefers Aussie mousse for her hair but I like SAMY styling gel. I too have a 13 year old daughter with poodle hair like mine. She does all of the stuff I've described and her hair is past shoulder length. I have to take her to the hairdresser for frequent trims, but a good layered cut is the key. I found my hairdresser by asking a woman with curly hair who cut hers because it looked so nice. Hope this rambling nonsense helps!

PLease do not damage your daughters hair by straightening at her age. Try finding a leave in conditioner like the 24/7 cream by hairapy.

Hi H.,
You pretty much have two options-one is to teach your daughter to wear her hair natural, and the other is to do something about it chemically.Since she's 13, it's probably a good idea to teach her to wear it natural.A couple of tips-the longer her hair gets, the weight of her hair will probably weigh down and relax alot of the curl. To deal with tangles- use the best shampoo and conditioner(Biolage Hydrating shampoo and Conditioning Balm is hands down the best products I've used)MAKE SURE she is rinsing all suds out completly, comb out tangles with a wide tooth comb and a little detangler, and have her put her hair into a braid at night. When she wakes up, her hair will still be tangle free, and probably slightly damp. If it's not damp, spritz it with water, and scrunch in a curl definer(ISO Bouncy Curl is Awesome). Let it air dry.A little shine spray will help further define and weigh down the curl, too( try Farouk Biosilk Spray).
As for chemical straightening, it works, but it has to be touched up every 4-6 weeks. Hard for a 13 year old.
If she still wants to straighten it with heat every day, make sure she gets regular trims and is very careful as heat damage will make the problem worse.Sorry to overload you-Good luck!
S.

Hi H.. Just wanted to let you know that there is a new process at salon's. I am not sure of the name of it but it is a chinese process. It permentaly straighens the hair and last until it grows out, it is however expensive. I think around $200 at the salon that I go to.

About Me:
Mother of a thirteen year old daughter, Married and trying to have more.

As a former hair stylist (sahm now) I suggest finding a product with silicone in it. You could buy the Frizz-eaze serum in the drugstore. Work this product (a little goes a long way) through her hair when it is wet from washing. Comb it through. It will help to get the tangles out and control the frizz, leaving her with gorgeous curls. I suggest letting her hair air dry. I also suggest that she doesn't wash her hair everyday, unless it is really oily. Just mist it with water in the morning and use a wide tooth comb to get the tangles out. The water will help to reactivate the product. Good luck.

13 is too young for a chemical treatment and to be flat ironing everyday, if you ask me. Tough enough being 13 without having get up extra early to flat iron your hair! What's the message there? We get what we get in the hair department, you know? Try a salon where they specialize in black women's hair perhaps, like the one woman said - a relaxer might be helpful. Or embrace the curls; condition (like the hair dresser commented about White Rain) and use a curl defining spray or pomade. Best when used on wet hair, it's easier to get a comb through than when dry, but you know that part already. Does it bother your daughter or you? Doesn't someone else in your family have the same curls? What do they do? Really, truly though, maybe a short cut is best for now. There are tons of awesome and stylish short cuts. I'm sure your daughter will be lovely no matter what. But all the products and gear will just add stress, again, if you ask me. Keep the routine simple.

Good Luck,
J.

Hi H.,
I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!! I had exactly the same problemwhen I was your daughter's age. I have had my hair chemically relaxed, straightened, and even permed to try to tame my curls. I actually wear my hair in a short layered bob now. I do not recommend this for your daughter though. my curls have definietly relaxed and gotten less frizzy since I was her age. Yes there is hope. I would definetly recommend letting her go natural. I have actually found Pantene daily moisture renewal to work the best for my hair. Try not to wash her hair every day. I wash every other day and condition every day Also redken makes a great conditioner. It is called butter treat and it comes in a bronze colored tube. I actually leave this in my hair as a leave-in conditioner and then put gel in it. I would recommend layering her hair around her face. I usually tell my stylist to angle it away from my face. This does two things 1. It keeps me from touching it all the time and making it frizzier 2. It definitely adds more shape so I don't look like a mop-head. You can add layers to the back but tell them you want very long layers. Sometimes it can look a little shelf-like if they are not blended correctly.
As far as going to a salon that specializes in African American hair you can try it but I don't recommend it. Caucasians have a lot finer hair and can't really take the harsh relaxers and straightening treatments. believe me I've tried it.
Good luck!! It will get better. I remember what it was like at her age. Save the straightening for special occassions. Rusk makes a good straightening product called str8. I wash and condition my hair at night, towel dry, put the str8 in it and then pull it back in a tight bun overnight. It starts the drying and straightening process. Then blow dry and straighten in the morning. Good luck!

I would recommend using something called cholestrol cream. It helps me with my curls and the frizz. Ceramic irons do not work as well as the tourmeline irons. The hair will not get curly again by the end of the day...trust me...I live at the beach.

I have naturally curly hair as well so I feel your pain! I went through those years never blowing my hair dry b/c it was too much work...that was before straighteners! Even now, I don't straighten on a day I know there is the slightest chance of humidity...and with summer coming, she's in for it! For me, the best thing is a frizz controller like Frizz Ease serum and to blow dry or air dry w/minimum handling. Use a diffuser attachment on the blow dryer for a better curl. Curly hair is gorgeous and she will be the envy of her friends when she learns how to manage it. Get a frizz controller and a curling gel and it will tame it. Good luck and hang in there!

Hi H.!

I totally agree with the woman who said that you should wash it only when necessary. I have very curly hair and I try to only wash it 3 times a week, or whenever it's starting to look greasy or dirty. It seems counterintuitive but it really does cut down on the frizz AND cuts down on the time I have to spend on it.

Try washing and drying her hair at night. Blow dry it "out" with a large round brush. Try to find the kind that are open in the middle so that the heat goes through the holes in the brush. Then, in the morning, run the ceramic straightener through it. It should take a lot less time than starting from scratch every morning. When I use the straigthener on my step-daughter's hair (also curly), I uses a comb to protect my hands from the heat. I have also found that the skinnier (half inch or so) ceramic irons work much better than the wider ones. Not sure why, again, it seems counterintuitive, but I’ve tried both and the smaller one works better!

You could also send her to school with some hair wax-type product so that she can apply as needed in the bathroom or at her locker throughout the day.

Your daughter needs to learn to love her whole self, including her hair. Learn to embrace her look that is unique. She is at a pinnacle age for self esteem. There are products, as the others have mentioned, and finding the right hair dresser is essential. Call around, ask the salons if they have anyone who specializes in really curly hair. You will find them. Save the straightening for special occasions or for a different look every now and again. She will have this hair for the rest of her life and she needs to learn to live with it and love it!

H., Have you considered using hair serum? I have a pretty strange case of the frizzies too, only after I gave birth to my son that my hair turned wild and curly lol (he's 2 now). I use a brand that I found within the ethnic products at Walgreen's, it's Frizz Buster by Fantasia, very inexpensive and it has worked for me very well. I use a quarter size of the serum on damp hair after every wash (I have long hair). I don't have time to straighten my hair, so using the serum keeps the curls soft. If I don't have time to wash my hair that day, I also use a spray leave-in conditioner (any brand is good) to dampen my cotton head a little in the AM and a BIG comb to "kinda" groom my morning fluff lol. God luck to you and your teenager girl. I know hair can be tamed! Hugs xoxox L.

I recommend going with the curls instead of against them. Try a shine/smoothing serum. There are a lot of good drug store versions available. Garnier fructis makes a nice smoothing/shine serum in a pump-type bottle. I would lose the straightner and go with a diffuser to dry her hair.

Also - check with a good hair stylist. They can cut her hair (without taking off length) but removing "bulk." It really makes a difference. I go to someone in Collegeville - they're great! Contact me if you want details.

Best of luck!!

I have very curly hair. Other than moving out West...she needs to go curly in the summer and on rainy days. She should also give her hair a break on the weekends and not wash it every day. For example...if I straighten my hair, I only wash it every 3 days...and then where it curly over the weekend (washing it every day when I wear it curly). Sleeping on her hair over night will help flatten it. By the 3rd day it will be pretty flat...but will start to itch due to getting dirty...hence washing the next day. When wearing curly, wear an elixer and a lot of styling gel. Let the hair air dry and DO NOT brush through once dry. Also...if she has trouble brushing through the curls...have her brush her hair in the shower with conditioner in it. Also do a deep conditioning once a week or every other week. Curly hair is dry. Just remind her that Nicole Kidman has very curly hair...and so does Sarah Jessica Parker. It is important that you find a hair stylest that can properly cut curly hair. I go to Jay Michael at the Jay Michael Salon in Ardmore. Good Luck!

Hi! I have curly hair also. I always leave conditioner in it and use some type of gel or mousse. I also hairspray it when it is wet. I grew up in Florida and had lots of crazy hair days! At one point I also had my hair straightened. It was sort of a perm run staight through it.This was no more expensive than a perm. It did work well.

goodluck
J.

Hi H., There is hope, I am a hair stylist. Once you straighten your daughters hair you should get at least two days or three out of it.(it is not good to wash your hair every day , it strips your natural oils out and definately not good to straighten everyday) It should even be smoother after a day or to. There are products out there to specificly help straighten hair, Matrix sleek has a shampoo ,conditioner, and smoothing cream all to help repel moisture. Redken has a smooth down shampoo , conditioner and a heat glide. Always use a protector on her hair before you flat iron to prevent breakage. All these products will help with taming,humidity control,and moisture in the hair, they are designed to help keep hair straight. I do not recommened permanetly straighting the hair, she is a little young. hoped I helped, kristin P

I'm 27 and still getting over the teasing I experienced when I was in school! I have extremely naturally curly hair and everyone says how beatiful it is, but I view it as a curse - always have. I know how your daughter feels. She probably steps outside after all of your hard work and it frizzes, feels dry and "puffs" up. I can tell you one technique that works really well for me. Being an adult however this may be challenging at first for her.

Purchase at Sally Beauty or retailer a hair bonnet dryer, the kind you would sit under at a beauty salon that you turn on that has a "hood". Sally's has them for about $40-I have a pink/white one that I used to put on a small step stool and sit on the floor while I dried my hair. But back to why you need it.... Purchase several, about 10 LARGE RED velcro rollers. After she gets out of the shower while her hair is still soaking wet, put a light de-frizzing cream in her hair. Put the velcro rollers in as smooth and tight as you can getting every little piece of hair. You will literally have to 'jam' her head into the bonnet dryer, but trust me its a LOT easier than pulling at her hair and using a round brush and attempting to manually dry it. After sitting under the dryer for about 30 minutes (or even less-test and see) take the rollers out. Your hair must be dry to move forward! Use a regular hair dryer to settle out the roller marks and a ceramic large round iron or flat iron to style. Garnier Fruic. has a great Anti-Humidity hairspray that works well for me you should try. Also great light style cream to help fight the frizz that is not greasy, which I always hated as a kid. I literally only do my hair (wash) every 3 days. I know this may sound "gross" but I take showers daily with a hair cap, just like my Grandma used to, and it works great. Now of course if you run a marathon your going to have to wash your darn hair! But each morning after I wake up I use the curling iron to style and get out my "sleeping marks" before I head off to work. I have three kids, 15 months, 8 and 11 - so I have to rush and this is something manageable since I don't spend the 45 minutes drying EVERY day - 2/3 times a week is far more manageable. Sorry for the lengthly response, but I feel your daughters pain and know how emotionally scarred I was as stupid as it sounds from such a small isse but back when I was in school kids were ruthless about my "Annie/Shirley Temple" hair and I want to help. Hope it works!

L.

Have you tried a chemical relaxer? Take her to a salon and ask the stylists there if they think that would help.

I had a problem with real thick hair growing up. My aunt thinned my hair and it was so much more easily managable. Maybe you could talk to your local salon gal and ask if it's possible to have your daughters' haired thinned out. It should help.

I work in a salon and we see these kind of people all the time.

A few things you could do is once you get her hair straightened, let her go a few days without washing it afterwards. This way you'll only have to go through the issue of straightening it once to three times a week.

Also, there is a straightening process that can be done at the salon that will keep curly hair straight for up to six months if properly maintained. However, it costs anywhere from $450 a session on up.

Anti-frizz serums and straightening balms do work. I used to help a friend of mine straighten her hair. I would work several quarter sized dollops of Got 2 B's straightening balm (which has been discontinued, but Bumble & Bumble's Tonic is awesome!) through her damp hair and used a CERAMIC round brush and hair dryer set to Medium heat. Yes, it took awhile, but she was able to keep it straight for three days by not washing it and the shine was amazing!

Thinning out your daughter's hair some will help, but depending on her hair texture it might give it a little more texture and body by doing that.

Here's a website that you can go to that deals strictly with stylists and salons that specialize in curly hair:

http://www.curlyhairsalon.com/curly-hair-salons-directory...

Hope this helps.

get a straightening relaxer. after a period of time the ceramic straightner will dry out the ends of her hair. My friend Leslie has curly hair and when i lived near her we used to put a kiddie perm in her hair for african american people. If you not feel comfortable to do this at home go and have it doen professionally.this would be the best solution if she wants her hair straight all of the time. Also look for the frizz ease products by john sebastian which they sell at cvs or rite aid.

My daughter has same hair, and so do I, but to a lesser extent. We find that if we at least dry it with a hairdryer it is tamer, and we put lots of cream hair products in it to make it easier to brush through. There is a chemical straightening process that salons can do that lasts for months, but it is very expensive, like hundreds of $, and takes a couple hours (and smells bad). A friend of mine did it and it looked great and she loved it. I just worry about chemicals & kids health, though.

You could go to a salon and have the hair straightened with a perm solution. It is basically like an anti-perm. What they do is use a perm solution and then straighten the hair. The results last as long as getting a curly perm would. Not sure if it would completely straighten your daughters hair, or just loosen the waves, but worth a shot. You could also go to the salon and have her hair relaxed. They make it so the curls aren't so tight and unmanageable. If her hair is really thick they can thin it out too. Just talk to your salon about possibilities for more permanent solutions to this issue.

My daughter's hair is the same as yours. We both cried as I combed her hair, which was long enough to sit on. Dad didn't want it cut. I finally got smart and tried a relaxer. There are kid friendly versions that are mild--such as Just For Me--found in the ethnic hair care section. The beautician should have recommended that. I don't know how much the beautician charges but it is simple enough to follow the instructions on the package and leave it in for the minimum amount of time. It costs about $5 at dollar stores. Another thing to think about instead of burning your hand with a flat iron--get a
Vidal Sassoon Ionizer or comparable product with a detachable comb and brush. Walmart, about $15. Start at the ends of the damp hair and work toward the roots. Less stress on the hair and you.