Dad Does Not Want to Be Called Daddy

Exactly what DVMMom said.
How heartbreaking.
I grew up w/ a father that pushed me away and did not know how to be a father to a little girl.
Just so sad.
I hope he realizes this is a form of rejection, and could a have serious impact on their relationship. Forever. :(

You need to sit him down and tell him it isn't his choice what HIS daughter calls him. If she wants to call him daddy then so be it. When she is ready she might shorten it to Dad or if she really wants to irk him she will call him by his actual name.
I would be pissed if my husband tried to force his kids to call him something they weren't ready to call him yet. Mine are older now and I swear both my husband and I miss being called Mommy and Daddy. Now it is Mom or Dad unless they aren't feeling good and then we get to hear that.
If you want a nicer approach well then sit him down and ask him why he is insisting on her not calling him that. Have him explain why he wants the change. Don't start off upset. Just stay calm and talk to him. Let him know that it is upsetting his daughter and in the case of what she calls him that it should be her right now leading that not him.

As for the person jumping on the sexual stuff...come on?? Really you went there??? I don't know any parent that would link the sexual stuff to that when the child has been calling them by that for a couple of years. If he had he would have insisted from the time she could talk to call him Dad instead of daddy.

Some people prefer one name to another. My husband once told me that when my daughter has kids, he doesn't want to be called Granddad, Grandpa, PawPaw or anything along that line. He wants to be called Jefe. I plan to teach my grandkids to call me Granny because it's what I prefer. So I see nothing wrong with him preferring to be called Dad over Daddy.

I wouldn't let him get all frustrated about it - I would expect him to give you an answer. I would let him know that it's really hurting your daughter's feelings and confusing for her as to why all of a sudden she's not allowed to call him Daddy - really, the emotional well-being of a 4 year old child should trump whatever the hell his hang-up is. He's a grown man, he should be able to tell you where he's coming from, whether you agree with it or not. I'd be royally ticked if my husband started acting this way toward our 4 year old daughter, unless he could come up with a reasonable, logical explanation as to why.

Seems like an odd request, I think it is so sweet to call your parents mommy and daddy. But, I would just let him know that she will most likely grow out of it when she is ready.

I would tell him that you can not support his decision to correct her unless you know his reason why. At least then you can get to the bottom of it.

This is weird and he needs to tell you why he wants this. If he's avoiding answering you, then I would think there is something sensitive for him going on. You need to know what it is so you can support him, and if something is hurting him, you need to know why so you can help him. It would just help to know why so you can help either way...

Take your darling daughter to your parents or his parents and then lock and load. I am sorry but privately call him on his bullcrap. Ask him if he was abused by someone that forced him to call him daddy, or if he ever had a weird ex girlfriend that called him that. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he is being a jackass. Not jackassy but a jackass. Tell him that he is hurting her feelings and you think less of him. Stop talking to him and stop the "conjugal visits". He will come around within a week or two. Also tell him that you deserve to know where this asinie request is coming from. I myself rarely get mad enough to yell. My husband can be the most stubborn man I have ever met. However he knows that if I yell and then don't speak to him that he had better change whatever asinine behavior that he is currently pulling. I caught my two year old daughter calling my husband, her father Mike one day. I corrected her. He said No she can call me Mike. Well I let this pass a couple of times then once she went to bed I informed him that if he didn't want to be called dad that I was sure I could find a suitable replacement! Never heard her call him Mike again. I just sometimes wander what gets into men's heads? You might also explain to him exactly what it means to every little girl to have a "daddy." She will most likely stop calling him that on her own... right about the time she starts rolling her eyes at everything he says. So why would he want to speed that up? And tell your husband that she does feel rejected by this. What will you guys do if you have another child? Have the baby call him daddy but not your daughter? I don't think he has thought this through.

Um.... that's just bizaare to me. We have a 4 year old little girl and I think my husband would be heartbroken if she called him "Dad". He calls her "Daddy's little cupcake". I still call my Dad, "Daddy" and he loves it!

My grandson decided to call his parents Mom and Dad around the time he turned 5. He apparently thinks it makes him sound more mature, but I've never actually asked him.

That extra syllable is apparently emotionally symbolic to your husband, and to a lot of responders below. I'm a little surprised at how strongly some moms feel about this. You say he's an amazing father and has a wonderful relationship with his little girl. He may have a very unpleasant childhood association with the word "Daddy" for some reason. He may not even remember what that's about.

But unless he's reminding her harshly or punishing your daughter when she forgets, then I really don't see any harm in his being called a title that pleases him. Just ask him to be kind with his corrections.

I have an 18 year old college freshman who still calls her Dad, "Daddy" and I think my husband would be caught off guard if she were to up and change it on him. Your daughter is 4 and those are really precious years when you should enjoy hearing the words Mommy and Daddy from her. He needs to let it go, when she is ready to call him somthing else she will

My husband said that once BEFORE our son was talking but after he started talking he didn't care.

Now my son has MANY nicknames for him. The newest one is Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Don't ask...

ADD: Other ones are Mater because HE'S McQueen and their BEST friends. Awwww. I get to be Sally or Holley Shiftwell.

Wow . .
I'm 34 and still call my father "daddy" .
It's a closer relationship, to me than "dad". They aren't just words. maybe explain it to him like that. They actually have meaning. He may hurt their relationship with all this correcting her.

That is really odd... Dad is inbetween the informal & loving Daddy and the formal & non love based Father. I'd prefer to be called Mommy rather than Mother or Mom. Maybe your husband wants to create a stronger & thicker line between his little girl and himself? I'd ask him if that is his intention, because correcting a little girl like that over a simple extra syllable is going to cause her to wonder why things have changed.

This is odd. There is a saying, any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy. Daddy is a title of honor, I am not sure why he would want to do away with that?

I still call my dad Daddy and I am 50 years old.

It would have hurt my feelings if he ever told me to call him something else.
I bet she is confused about this too.

I may get reamed for this, but I think it's weird when little girls are still calling their dad "daddy" after a certain age. For him, it may just be that he thinks it's weird after 4. It's perfectly fine for him to feel that way and he doesn't have to explain his feelings, although it probably would be nice of him to. But, if he did, would you listen and be okay with it or would you fight him on it? He may just think that it's too much hassle and not want to fight with you so he is just be bull headed and not talking about it with you.
He loves his daughter, he has a great relationship with her, he wants to be called dad. I don't see the problem.
L.

When I was a freshmen in college, my dad was coming to pick me up or visit or something. I was at lunch with a group from my floor, and I remember doing an excited voice and saying, "My daddy is coming today!" One of the girls said something annoying like, "You still called him 'Daddy?'" I didn't get embarrassed, I just rolled my eyes and said, "I'm just really excited to see him." I remember thinking she was being a little immature for saying that, but maybe she didn't have a close relationship with her father.

I wonder if he's just nervous that another kid would tease her. Many dads have those fears more than moms. I would try to be gentle & sensitive when I talked to him about it, but I also would want to try and understand why it's so important to him. Let him know that your goal is really to respect his wishes/feelings and help your daughter maintain that wonderful relationship they now have.

Good luck!

I think you need to keep trying to get to the bottom of this with your husband. I guarantee your daughter feels some rejection. This is really strange since you say he is an amazing father, but I wouldn't just let it go.

Good luck to you! Getting to the bottom of a man's emotions can be like digging to China sometimes!!

wow! i would be furious if that was my husband. you should express to him that she picked that special title for him and he should embrace it. point out that it hurts her feelings.
my daughter calls her dad- dad daddy father... just depends on her mood that day.

doesn't sound amazing to me.

i agree with getting him alone and confronting him. tell him, if there's a logical explanation, let's have it. if it's just a preference, why's he getting so defensive about it?

and tell him to lay off her. or at least be super sensitive and nice when correcting her. doesn't sound like he is.

My husband did this with my stepdaughter right around this age. Yes, it was confusing to her but he insisted. They all survived and now she calls him Dad with no problem. Is this really that big of an issue other than just being a small change in the grand scheme of things?

"He gets really frustrated when I try to talk to him about it." SO WHAT! He is really hurting your daughter's and your feelings too! I agree with Jeanie W. Get the kids out of the house and confront, confront, confront! He OWES you and your daughter a reason why he wants to hurt the feelings of those he loves!

Guess I just don't see the issue here.

I thought I might be the only parent that did not like the "mommy" name. I wanted to be called Mama, Mom, mother....anything but mommy. I am not 100% why this is but when I was in high school and someone called their mom, mommy, I wanted to scream.Weird? I guess so. Only thing that should have been set is to not start out with Daddy if he did not want to be called this. It's very hard to call someone by a different name once started. My kids are all grown now and laugh about the "no Mommy" stuff. We are all very close and love each other very much. So my advice here would be to start calling your husband "Dad", when speaking about him to your daughter. Make this an okay thing and she will never know the difference. My opinion only.

I still call my Dad Daddy. Not all the time but its a special bond between us. Its kinda like me saying I love you in my special way.

My daughter just starting calling my husband Daddy, Dad, Father a month ago... at first hearing any of them after 3 years from him melted his heart.. now he is really missing hear her call him "Howie". We have no idea where it came from.. the only thing we can think of is the older kids ( his step) call him Cody and that was her interpretation....

I would ask him his reason behind it. Daddy is such a special term/ bond between a father and daughter. It would break my heart if my Dad asked me to stop calling him that... at 34.

Have you asked him why? It might be a really good reason like "daddy" being a pervy term that some women use like calling there man big daddy. It might be bothering him. I dont think its a big deal to be called dad. I have many names for my dad, father, pop, PoPo, daddy, papa! He might just need to relax a bit. But truly if thats what he prefers why not hop on board? Its not like he is asking her to call him mom!

Its his preference, no big deal and I think you should try to honor his preference. Maybe the sound Daddy is just annoying to him and he shouldn't have to hear it forever if he doesn't want too. He's probably dug in now because he doesn't understand why you are making a big deal about it. At four your daughter will get it eventually. My husband wanted to be Papa - does it complicate things a little when every other kid has a "daddy" , yes, but its what he wants. I'd prefer to be mommy, but usually end up as mama.

Oh and just a thought - When my children whine, Mommy is a WAY more annoying sound than mama or mom would be. Maybe he feels that she uses a whiny tone when she says his name.

Not to sound crass but the word "daddy" is used in a derogatory way sometimes regarding sexual things. Maybe he is thinking along those lines and it is embarrassing for him to talk about (as it sometimes happens in really dirty movies if you know what I mean...) I think you should talk to him in a non-confrontational way. I still sometimes call my Dad "Daddy." Usually after he has given me one of his beautiful wood carvings. Sadly enough I miss being called Mommy. I get only Mom now.

Shewhitewolf95 has the right idea.

You never can tell what happened in his past that makes him feel this way. Just ask him why he prefers one over the other.

With me, I read some where, "Any man can be a father, but it takes some one special to be a Dad". I much prefer "dad" over "father". May be he has a reason too. It won't hurt to ask, but I would ask out of the blue, not when he just corrected her.

Good luck to you and yours.

Aww, that is sad. I still call my dad "daddy", he loves it.
I wonder why he doesnt like it?
I think it's a comfort/closeness thing that makes girls call their dad "daddy" even when they are grown. Dad is so much more formal than Daddy.

I always remember calling my dad "Dad". Maybe when I was a toddler it was "Daddy". My 27 year old step daughter calls her dad "Daddy" and it sounds babyish to me..... The 22 y/o stepson migrated to "Dad" from "Daddy" many many years ago.
~A.

Wow! That would break my heart too. Try not to make a big deal about it and it will blow over. I don't like it when my kids call me "mother." It reminds me of Nellie on Little House on the Prairie! LOL Maybe it's something like that... who knows!

When my daughter is pissed off at me she tells the kids to call me Granny. I hated my mom and she wanted to be called granny so having the kids call me granny is the highest insult. Perhaps your hubby is having flashbacks to his dad making him stop calling him daddy around this age.

Some of my friends kids never called their dad by a "daddy" name, some call their dads "papa" and another family calls him "pop".

I don't see the big deal - if that's what he wants to be called it's a perfectly acceptable name. My son calls his father 'dad' and started it on his own when he was about three. I HATED being called mama when he was smaller and told him that was not my name, mommy is. I still call my father 'daddy' although I call my mother 'mom'.

Maybe he saw a show or movie or something where a sexy woman said, "Who's your daddy?" in a really provocative way. It just might not feel so innocent to him any more.

Or maybe he finds it too babyish. Or maybe he dislikes the sound of it. In any case it's okay for him to choose what his daughter calls him. There's nothing wrong with it and nothing that you need to approach or deal with.

That seems odd. She's only 4. Does he have a bad connotation with "daddy"? Does he think she's too old to use Daddy? You say he gets frustrated. Does he tell you WHY? I would try to talk to him and say that it's confusing to your child (and to you) so please explain why the change. I think that as frustrated as he gets and as confused as you are, you and he need to get to the bottom of it. Most children naturally start using Dad vs Daddy, but it's usually based on the kid, not the parent.

My DH has noticed that I often refer to myself as "Momma" (don't really know why) even though DD clearly prefers "Mommy". Doesn't really bother me, though.

Do YOU call him "Daddy" in reference with your child (Go ask Daddy)? Maybe he'd really prefer you didn't but can't articulate that.

that is just stupid. My 3 yo son calls me 'mama' and I don't know why (easier for him to say maybe??) and I always refer to myself as 'mommy' but I never correct my boy on it.I always wonder when he will start using 'mommy' instead but whatever he likes is ok with me. Personally, I think 'mommy' and 'daddy' is more appropriate for a younger child since 'mom' and 'dad' sound like it should come from someone more mature. My husband wanted to be called 'papa' which I thought sounded dumb, and luckily it didn't stick because that's not what my son wanted to call him (plus he couldn't say it). I hope your little girl isn't feeling rejected because of this.

WHAT? What is his problem with "Daddy"??? That is sooooooooooo sad!! My Daddy was my Daddy up to the day he died at 86 years old! He wouldn't have had it any other way!!! I'd give anything to still have him with me so I could call him Daddy a million more times!! I think it's probably a "girl" thing but I couldn't have imagined calling him anything else.

There is a favorite quote my Mom cut out of a newspaper years ago and I have it on my fridge: "Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy!" Maybe your husband doesn't feel "special" - is there some underlying problem with the word "Daddy"? Sounds to me like there needs to be more talking about it. Good luck!!!

I just think it sounds really sad, my boys call their Dad, Daddy or Da Da. I cannot figure out why he would make this change except that maybe he got some bad advice somewhere and hasn't chosen to share. I think it would upset me if my husband did this, but then he calls both his Stepdad and Bio Dad, Daddy to this day. I agree with the other mamas that trying again to talk it over and find out why would be a good thing. Wish you the best!!

I called my dad daddy until i was a teenager. I think its wierd to want a 4 yr old to call him dad and not daddy.
No clue on how to deal with that. WHy does he not want to be called daddy???

Maybe its about respect. Not that being called daddy is disrespectful by any means. Some man can feel weird about being called "daddy" when their children are older. I think it is more of his insecurity then anything else. He may feel that now that she is older, she should call him Dad out of respect for him. I don't know. It's not like she is 18 or something..She is only 4 years old. I would talk to him about it if it really is bothering you, and especially confusing your daughter.

What does he call his dad? Is there some history between him and his father that could be making him feel this way?

That's really weird. My husband corrects our just-turned 5 year-old if he calls him Dad instead of Daddy! He LOVES being Daddy and says he wants a few more years of it. Fortunately we also have a 2 year-old so he should be safe!

My 7 y.o. dd calls hers "da da" still sometimes. She says daddy, dad, and da da interchangeably. I'm wondering what is going on with your hubbie? Does he have daddy issues with his own father? If so, he needs counseling.

Well, I've met little girls of 8-10 who still call him DADA. So it could be 'worse.' I think it's silly to say that you have to say daddy at a certain age and Dad at a certain age. I said Dad and Mom at 2, and my parents hated it, they said I wasn't "Old enough." I think parents should take the child's lead on this one, except when the child calls the parent by first names. I know families who do allow it, but it's not generally accepted so if you don't like it, correct the child with one of the more culturally appropriate names. Otherwise...Daddy, Dad, Pop, Papa, Dada, it's all good! I don't know what to say about your DH....it's kinda weird so you should try to get him to explain the whys. If he can't say why, then he doesn't need to be doing it.

How sad...my hubby LOVES that our daughters call him daddy. They sometimes call him dad, but usually daddy. I hate to think of them ever not calling us mommy and daddy. I also love when they call me mama.

My girls (25, 23, 21) call my husband Daddy. I call him Daddy when referring to him to them. They call me mami. My son calls us Mom and Dad (he's 14) but the girls insist...and I love it.

There are SO many other names they could call us...glad they chose the loving ones!

Has he ever told you why?

I hate to state the obvious, but I think that you should ASK HIM WHY, instead fo just being angry or annoyed. I don't think that you should confront him, but I think that when you first became aware of this desire to make the change, you should have pulled him aside and (gently) demanded to know his reasons. You have a right to an open and honest discussion about this with him, but you should approach him with respect and in a way that is more likely to get the response you desire.

In my family I have a step-sister, so being able understand which "mom" she was referring to was important. "Mom" was her biological mother, "Mommy" was our mother. For us there was an emotional difference between the two different names. Mommy took care of us, loved us, kissed our Boo-boos. Mom was just the lady who gave birth to her and only visited her once to my knowledge. Perhaps you can tell him that anyone can be a Dad, but it takes something very special to be a Daddy. That he is someone wonderful and loving, he is more then just Dad, he's a Daddy. In today's age where there are blended families, it's important to be able to tell who is who.

Also I'm Mom Mom and my husband is Dad Dad. Perhaps this could be a compromise.
Good luck.

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he is being silly! I still call my mom and dad "mommy and daddy" and I'm 31! Tell him to get over himself. She is only 4 and she will grow out of it when she gets older. For me, it's just habit and something that stuck with me. I only say it when I'm talking directly to them

I think it's too much to request a 4 year old to stop calling you what they've called you (or him!). It's a maturation thing, kids change from Mama/Dada to Mommy/Daddy to Mom/Dad over time, as they hear their friends use the more mature sounding titles. It's not normal to ask them to do it. If she calls him Daddy and he corrects her, pull him aside and tell him that it's upsetting her, it's too much pressure for her to have to remember that he has a new name now and that it's a natural progression from Daddy to Dad, not a rule. My daughter was 6 before she started calling us Mom and Dad. My son, having a sister four years older than him, was doing it at age 4. It seemed so young to me.