Mother in Law Finally Has Decided What to Be Called and I Don't like It!

I think Momma G sounds like a rapper name!! And I would not want my kids calling her that. I had a friend growing up, that she called her grandma "mother" and her mom "mom" WEIRD!!! Hope you get it all worked out.

My grandson's paternal great grandmother was called "Momma M" by several generations of children. I don't know whether she would have chosen that name, but it became traditional and stuck until her death.

Kids know whether an adult is comforting, or dependable, or not. The name will become simply a tag, a handle, but not necessarily have any real "meaning" attached to it. The feelings will come separately. I wouldn't sweat it.

You may not like her answer or feel she's comforting enough, but she's still a mamma. I think you need to leave it between her and the children. Children tend to come up with their own ideas on what they want to call us anyway.

Insist that your MIL call you Contessa Twinkletoes and your daughter will be known as Butterfly Rainbow Cookie (which is what my 4 year old niece wants to be called).

Seriously, your MIL is insane to keep changing her title. Call her what you have already been calling her. She is a Momma to your husband - not to her grandkids.

My mom insists on not being called grandma as well as MY grandmother (her mom)... both names have "Mum" in them...

I'm gonna say PLEASE let this slide. Not everyone called "Momma" is that person's mom OR the "comforting type". I put this under the "choose your battles" category. As in, don't choose this one.

...one mom was also right when they mentioned that kids sometimes come up with their own names for people. Another thing to consider is name evolution. I don't know about everybody else, but for literally everyone in our family, our nicknames specifically have evolved so much that I could challenge someone to guess what the original name was... lol.

LOL--Then you can always call her home "Big Momma's House"!

Reminds me of "Triple G" from the movie Hoodwinked.

I also scoff at your SIL (your MIL's only daughter) who says that if she has kids her kids will call her "Nana". It is my experience that whomever of the children bestows the first grandchildren, gets more of a "say" in what the grandparents will be called. That very first grandchild. After that, the name is usually set in stone. The other siblings' children that come along after tend to just follow in the footsteps- because everyone just naturally uses the same term.

I wouldn't care about her being "Momma G" (doesn't sound very nurturing to me), except that your child is old enough to KNOW her by a different name. That just doesn't make any sense to me that she would suddenly decide to make her grandchild (who is still learning about family relationships and how/why we are "related" to people) re-learn her name!

It least it was not "Your Majesty".

She picked it out, she likes it, I do not understand why it bothers you.
I promise your child will be intelligent enough to not be confused. Many families have multiple people with the same names or titles and it all works out.

This is not a battle you want to get into..

Personally, I'd just have your daughter call her Grandma Geni. Just blame it on your SIL and her kids: "Her cousins call you that, so that's what my daughter wants to call you. It's too confusing for her otherwise."

I think it's ridiculous when people don't want to be called "grandma." What is the goal? To be mistaken for your grandchildren's mother? That seems a little insulting to your children and their spouses. If you look young enough to be able to pass as your grandchildren's parent, wouldn't it be a compliment if someone was surprised that you're a grandma? And if you're not, you're not fooling anyone by having your grandkids call you Momma G.

Momma G actually makes me picture a big, fat, cranky older woman so I wouldn't worry about it. It's different somehow than Mommy G. Maybe it's not in your family so it bothers you more but for other people hearing it, they might not at all think it's because she's this loving, attentive grandmother.

I'd just not get involved. Let the kids call her whatever they want.

And.....Momma G. does not sound nurturing to me. I also think of Big Momma's house in the comedy movie. Big Momma is funny and not nurturing.

my cousins and i called my grandparents different names. my family called one of our grandfathers grandpa and they called him papa. we called one of our grandmothers Nanny and my cousins called her Granny. same thing for my kids and their cousins. mine call grandfather grandpa and one cousin calls him papa. he/they always answered to both. i think that Mama G is a ridiculous name, but ask your daughter what she wants to call her and let her call her that. it might not even be grandma. my mom is Yeaya (from my understanding its Greek for Grandmother) my niece started calling her this when she was 3, and we have no idea where it came from.

If your MIL is already called Grandma Geni then that seems like a no brainer. I would object to "Momma anything" since she is not their momma. If she wants something different here are some ideas...mommom, grandma, granny, meemaw, nana, grandmother, or any nickname that works (mom squared?).

When my son was born, he had my mother, my stepmother, my aunt who raised me, and his dad's mother. The bio-grandmothers became "MomMom" followed by their last names while the others were followed by their first names. He now calls my MIL (his stepgrandmother) MomMom Lorraine since he met her and knew her already as his first name. My step-mother, decided when her first bio-grandchild was born to be called "Granny" and acted like my kids should do the same...I told her she was "MomMom" for two years before she became Granny so my kids weren't changing things now.

I wouldn't confront her about it, unless she brings it up when your child DOES NOT call her Momma G! (I like the rapper comment! LOL)
Show your LO pictures of her and ask her, "who's that?" Whatever she says, goes! My mother-in-law was the same way (though she wanted some Lituanian name that meant mother...uh...no...she ended up being "Grammy"...she passed away just before my DS was born...made us realized how short life can be). My father-in-law was going to be pop-pop (decided by my mother-in-law! LOL) Well, we called him pop-pop, and by his name "Bob"...DD ended up calling him "Bop" and it stuck. He's now "Bop" for ever! LOL You never know!

if your daughter is already 3 then why is it being changed. thats silly! my mom loves the title grandma, she has been trying to get my son to say it since he was an hour old lol! my son also has a great-grandma and we did think that was a little long for my son to say so she choose her own name. its Baa. because that is how my eldest cousin use to pronouce grandma so she is use to it.

Maybe I'm not understanding your dilemma. Are you saying that Grandma Geni has chosen a different name for your children to call her - Momma G?

I always thought that once the Grandmother's name was chosen, either by herself or the first grandchild, that is what she should be called by ALL subsequent grandchildren!! Why confuse the grandkids? Either way, I'm with you and don't think ANY grandmother should be called Momma anything! You are the Momma. Unfortunately I think you're going to have to break it to her gently, or get your hubby in on this one!! Best of luck!

Suggest your daughter start calling her G G. It can stand for Grama G. Grama might like the young way it sounds and go with it. Start showing your daughter pictures of her and tell her that's GG,,she will catch on and Grama will be thrilled. My daughter is not happy that one of the gramas is asking to be called Madre'. That means mother in Spanish and she is not the mother. She's the grand mother. I think it's a grasp at their dying youth and its pathetic.

I think kids will call Grandparents what they will...Goodness knows we have had the full spectrum of names...my cousin called my Grandma "Gitta-Gitta-Ga" for forever and I called my Grandma "Grandmama"
My own kids have called their Great Grandpa "Papa two" because when my first born asked why we called My grandpa "grandpa" I said because he is a Grandpa too ( as in as well as) and Papa two just stuck...
My youngest son calls my mom Damn-ma....I think it is Hilarious. He is Trying to say Grandma...he called her Na-ma for a while. My daughter called my mom Na-Na, my cousins call their other Grandma "Nonny" Now my two oldest just say Grandma and Grandpa...there should be a happy medium, something that works for everyones comfort level.

Easy solution - since the other grandchildren already call her Grandma Geni, refer to her this way all the time when you're at home with your daughter. Then your daughter will call her that, even if your MIL "corrects" her when they're together.

I wouldn't go for my Mom or my MIL wanting to be called Momma anything - Mom, Mommy, Momma, Ma, anything like that is MY title - she had her Mommy time - now is your Mommy time. She can be called Gramma G......that is what I would tell her.....

I was going to suggest GG also. My mom's initials are B.B. So that is exactly what my son calls my mom. It's worked out well.

I don't completely agree that she should have to "earn" the right to be called momma by your standards, BUT I also don't think that momma is appropriate. That is your title, even if your child calls you mommy or mom, you are still the mother and any other nickname that implies such is for you alone.

I don't get where grandma's these days think they get the right to choose their name? Seriously! Either go by grandma or whatever your grandkids call you! You had the right to choose your child's name and thats where it ends.

Sorry, no ill intent here, I just don't get this new way of thinking with gma's that think they get to choose.

I suggest you teach your child to call her whatever you want her to be called, hopefully its respectful and pleasent. I certainly don't agree that she should be momma.

She isn't their momma so it doesn't really work. The funny thing is that the kids will call her whatever works for them. My mom wanted a creative name & my son called her Gammie from the time he could talk! Not creative but she loves it.

Don’t stress-the kids will handle this one!

Let the children decide; my husband has a M. and stepmom, so our kids have 3 grandmas. in my family we do refer to grandma as "mama-and first name", but that is a cultural custom. My daughter was referring to all three as grandma 1, 2, 3 and yes she ranked them by favorites. Now that she is older, she calls them as they prefer. I never have corrected her on what she called them. It appears to me that your MIL is the one who is redefining her own identity as a elder for reasons only she knows. If I were in your position I would (in front of her) tell your daughter what she prefers to be called and leave it at that. Good luck and don't sweat it, like you said there are likely to be changes.

Ugh, why are MILs SUCH a pain?!?! Your daughter should keep calling her whatever she's been calling her for the past three years! I have an overbearing MIL myself (can you tell?! LOL) so good luck girl!!

I guess let your daughter choose what to call her.

I call my six grandparents Grandpa, Grandma, Grandpa Pat, Grandma Sweeton, "biological grandfather Henry", and "step-grandmother".

Mom wanted to be called Gram, but she ended up being called Nana (I think it's fitting since her name is Nancy). Dad is called Papa, Paul 1, or Big Paul.

Well that's weird. However I think I like Momma G better than Ga Ga which is what my cousins call their grandmother. Every time I hear that I cringe. If your daughter already knows her by a different name, then go with that one. You can always chalk it up to kids being kids...

My sis's kids call our mom, "Pappa"... weird, I know. I refuse to let my kids call her that and they call her Grandma S. I think it should be determined what the kids feel comfortable with.

Since your daughter is 3, she's probably already calling her grandma something, I would just encourage that... or have her call her grandma by her first name.

I would just tell her, "I think Momma G is too close to Mama and would be confusing to her. So I told her to call you Namma G." Period. Done. It's basically changing the first letter and I can't see that being an issue.

My ex mother in law did that. I told my kids to call her grandma, end of discussion. She accepted it after a while. :p

What about Grammy G? Tell her that you are Momma and that is your title and you do not want that taken away or confused for the kids so out of respect for you could she please make a change or adjustment. My mom is Grammy because she feels she is "an award winning grandma" so she named herself after a greatly coveted award.

I personally wouldn't even go there. I would probably pretend like the conversation never happened and let my kids call her whatever they are comfortable with. If they're use to Grandma, then let it be. Is Momma G" really going to correct your kids if they call her Grandma, she's coo-coo if she does.

Let the kids call her whatever they want. Something will stick and she'll have to live with it.
I had the first child (grandchild for my parents) and I tried to get her to call my dad GrandDaddy (that's what I called mine). She couldn't say it and it ended up being Dede. Eighteen years later and 2 more grandkids and he'd DeDe to all of them. And loves it too!
My daughter called my mother "MomMom" for some reason which made her happy because she wasn't ready for "Gramma". But then one day out of the blue she started calling her Gramma. My mom wasn't very happy about it. But she got over it. And she's still Gramma.
:)

Just tell her another "mama" is too confusing.

Sorry I wouldn't want my children calling anyone but me momma. My daughter was the first grandchild and she decided what my parents were going to be called. Nannie for my mom and grandaddy for my father. However, she couldn't say granddaddy and it came out ringdaddy. So we have Nan and Ring. :) My MIL didn't like being called grandma and she wanted our kids to call her meme which they do. FIL is Papa. We had several Papas. Papa (granddad) Papa Jim (great granddad) Papa Johnnie (great granddad). Sad to say we have lost Papa Jim and Papa Johnnie but the kids still talk about them! Let your child decided.

I can see where you wouldn't want someone else to be called Momma. To me, that's a name for a Mother. I think it's best and least confusing for all the grandkids to call her the same thing. My mother was Grandma and so is my MIL. If she's almost 3, I would tell MIL that your daughter is too old for her to suddenly change what she wants to be called, that your daughter knows and calls her by one name and it's too confusing for her. My husband's grandmother, who was a very lovely woman, tried that. Our daughter must have been 2 - 2 1/2 when grandma suddenly told us that she decided what K should call her - GiGi (for "great grandma). I had to tell her that K was too old for her to suddenly be called something else, that K recognized her as "great grandma" and was saying "Mate Meemah" (lol) and a name change would just be confusing, that I was sorry but if she wanted a special name, she needed to tell us that when K was born or an infant. I think grandma didn't realize that kids that age are already very intelligent and aware. Good luck

My 2 year old son is having difficulty say G's so...I am mommy and all the grandmas are momma. It is just a phrase it doesnt mean he loves me any less or them anymore.

If it were me, I'd tell your kids that she is not their 'momma'...you are that she is their grandma. She may not like it & may protest but if you feel uncomfortable allowing your kids to comply & go along w/calling her 'momma G'...just tell your MIL you don't feel comfortable having your children call her that, something she is not, that she is their grandmother, not their mother. Stand firm, good luck!

Hello, I am a grandma. My kids decided that I would be "Grandma" and my late husband would be "Pop". It worked for us. She is not your child's Momma and should not be trying to be called that. Your daughter is old enough to have already recognized your mother-in-law with a certain name. I would refer to her as that and don't let her bully you into changing it. Your child, your decision.
Good luck with your precious little girl.
K. K.

I understand where you're coming from and wish all the best to you! :)

My dad didn't want to be called grandpa so he calls himself big papa! Reminds me of the rapper, lol :) now my kids have taken to calling great grandpa little papa, not so sure he likes that!!

We let the kids call them what they want, which happens to be nana (my grandma), grandma (my mother in law), and grandma krista (my stepmom). The kids will call her what they're used to, or have one of them tell her momma g is silly, she wouldn't get mad at them for saying it (I hope)!

I think that if you don't want a title, then pick a nickname and stick with it. My mom is Nana to all the grandkids. If the precedent has been set by SIL, then the name has already been chosen. Why so many names?

Just let your daughter decide what she wants to call her. My daughter calls both grandma and my dad is poppy or papa and my FIL is papa. We never encouraged her to pick one specific name. She started it. I have a friend who's granddaughter just calls her G. So when you talk about her call her grandma and your daughter will decide what to call her. And if your MIL corrects her just tell her to accept what she calls her cause she is confusing her.

it's kinda wacky, and i can see it confusing the kids for a while if they're already used to calling her by a particular name. but in the greater scheme of things? way minor issue. shrug, tell her she can work with the kids on it if it's that important to her, and go on about your business.
i honestly don't get anyone having to 'earn' the title of momma. i mean, if it's really that important, she IS somebody's momma, right?
khairete
S.

She's not your children's mother so in no way should they use a form of it on their grandmother. It's rude and disrespectful to you and you have every right to over-ride her on this. I would suggest other forms of "grandmother" in other languages.

Nana Geni
Nona Geni
Meme Geni (mem-ay)
Oma Geni

I am with you 100%. I am in your shoes too. My MIL has always had her daughters children call her Mom. Well for her children, my MIL has been more of a mom figure, she cooked, cleaned, and continues to do anything they needed,. As for me, I can't stand the confusion it brings for my kids, now 5 and 8. I named my MIL myself for them and call them abuelita and abuelito spanish for grandma and grandpa, they sometimes refer to themselves as that but still say Mom and Pa usually. My husband did not understand when I objected 6 years ago when my daughter started talking. But I insisted Mom is what I am, he would say have her call you mommy but mom is what I am too, and what would her friends think I insisted. I think you should talk to your husband to get his support since it is his parents. There has to be another term, yet for me it is so confusing since the other grandchildren call them mom and pa. it just seems so wrong you wait all your life to be a grandma, what is the big deal, you were a mom, did a good job, now you have grandchildren, enjoy it :) good luck to you, can't wait to see how it goes take care