OK hoping someone can lead me in the right direction! I have raised my children on my own for the last shall i say year or so without any kind of custody in place i am very well aware of the laws and know that at any time he can pick them up and take them at any given time. Not gonna happen he is so far wrapped up in his own little world and not to mention a functioning alcoholic who quit his job the day there was an order for child support which i will add i don't receive and has failed to appear to not one of his court hearings. Now there is a bench warrant for him and $7000.00 later they still has not picked him up. Money is not an issue although it would be nice i want to file for full custody of my children but i am afraid the courts after a year will set up some kind of visitation . So do i hold off on the custody because of my fear after him having no contact with the children for over a year. Or file and open a big can of worms with the courts. My children are very well aware of what is going on and i want to keep them safe, love them, and do whats right for them not for the adults. any suggestions please feel free to give me your input the negative or the positive thanks
Hi S.,
From what I understand-the father cannot have visitation if he is not paying child support-but I'm not certain.
Also, you mentioned just opening in-home daycare. I am interested in doing this as well and wondered if you have any advice-maybe we could talk sometime for me to get an idea of how to start to go about this.
Thanks!
A.
Hi S. ,
You are not alone . I am going through the same thing. You can file for a abandament after 6 months of the outher parent not seeing the child . You have a very good case as long as he has not been trying to see the child. I have a good lawyer if you are in need of one just let me know. Good lick and god bless and if yo need to talk to someone email me .
In PA, parental rights can be terminated after 15 consecutive months of no contact with the children. Unless that has changed in the last few years, all you would have to prove for custody is that he hasn't had any contact with them. Maybe you should contact North Penn legal services and ask them some advice. They helped me with my custody papers.
There is no court in their right mind that will grant him custody especially with a bench warrant out on him, and the fact that he is an alcoholic and their hasn't been contact in a year. And in all honesty, if he hasn't shown up to this point, even if he does get visitation (which he won't) do you think he will show up? I would say go for it and at least try and get yourself some money for your kids. If you don't need the money, put it aside for college funds. Make good out of the situation!
It all depends if he is visiting them or not or requesting visitation. I am going through this right now and the law states that both of you have access to the children when there is no custody agreement on the table and this custody agreement has to be through the courts. If you decide to hand over your children to him without a custody agreement, he does NOT have to give them back. An oral agreement between the two of you does not count either. You have to go downtown and get it put in writing through the court. If you guys can come to an agreement, you can go to court on Tuesdays and Thursdays and they have some department there on the first floor where you fill out the paperwork and there is a fee I do believe that you have to pay. When filling out the paperwork, you both are stating which days he will get the kids and signing your agreement which will be filed with the courts. It is in your best interest and in your children's to get something in writing if you are handing your kids off to their dad. Also, in the state of Pennsylvania, in the situation I dealt with, if the dad wants to spend time with the kids and as long as he is not abusing them, they will let him spend time with them. The courts want the dad to spend time with the kids and they will let him. The only reason you would need to file is if he wants to see the kids and the both of you cannot come to an agreement. More than likely, you will get primary physical custody which means he will have to pay you child support and visitation means that he would be able to take the kids with him for some set amount of hours. It all depends on how much time he wants to spend with them.
Check with an attorney regarding the custody/visitation issue. In some places,if the other parent has had no contact with the child for a year,then they are considered to terminate their rights. Good Luck.
Good luck! My husband is 29 and his dad left when he was 10 and never paid any child support, quit his good job to avoid paying, and left his mom in back taxes. He owes like $90,000 by the time everything is said and done and they will probably never see a penny of it! My husband did find a couple of addresses for him and they gave it to them, but nothing has been done. HOpefully for you things will be handled differently. The worst thing you can do is to not try though. At least if you get the money you can put it in accounts for your kids for when they are older. Good luck again!
Money and visitation are two seperate issues... Failure to pay will never affect a parent's right to see their kids. Even if you had a formal agreement u couldn't keep your kids from him for not paying.
In regard to custody... just hearing your story it seems clear that you would get primary custody no problem.
But here are is something to consider...regardless of your thoughts of him, your kids still love him whether they say so or not. If you go to court to keep him away your kids wiill feel guilty for loving him. Of course you want to protect them, but they will also want him in their lives even if he is/has been a jerk. If he eventually wants to see them maybe you should leave that option open... not for his sake... but because your kids deserve the opportunity to be with their dad. Get a formal agreement for custody but don't try to take away his parental rights entirely.
In some ways I wish my ex would just "go away" or that I could shield my kids from the pain he's caused... but they love him and so I have to just accept that.
S.
For off good luck with your child care business.
Secondly you might want to get something in place.When my ex and i seperated we had a verbal aggrememnt that he was to bring my oldest home and no overnights.One night he called to say he was keeping David and there was nothing i could do about it.And he was right.
I have phusical custody of David and he has visitations.He does get child support taken right out of his check because he was paying 400.00 a month and he opted to cut it back to 90.00 a month.When we went to court about this he ended up paying 400.00 a month.
But i would speak to a lawyer.Most of the time they'll do a consult(sp)for free.Please get something written up not only for your piece of mind but for the children
J.
S.,
Sorry to hear what you are going through. From my understanding if your ex has not had contact with your children for 6 months you can go to the court and they will make him give up his right as a parent. Or (this is whta I did) I had my lawyer draw up custody papers, exactly how I wanted them - I get full leagl and physical custody and he can have supervised visitation. Put whatever you want in those papers - it can go as far as your ex not being able to drink so many hours before he sees the children, if he seems to have been drinking when he comes to see them he must leave, etc, etc. And all you have to do is get him to sign the papers and the lawyer will file them for you and it's done. Custody is set.
I would try to talk to a lawyer though - they will be able to give you the best advise.
Good Luck
-C.
Don't wait. This issue will never go away and you do not want it hanging over your head.
