My ex husband won custody in a court battle last year. Now I get a phone call that he'd like me to keep her from June till Thanksgiving or Christmas. I do have visitations with my daughter for the whole summer months and then again on holidays but this will be for 6 months straight that she's with me. I find it real funny how he made me look like such an unfit mother and now calls on me to help him out so he can go to school and get on his feet. I'd like to write up something stating he is doing this. I will have to enroll her in school and get insurance for her as well. Part of me wants to wait a couple weeks after having her and go down to the courthouse and file papers but I don't want to risk losing in court again. I need some suggestions on what to write in this paper and how to go about possibly fighting again for full custody.
I now have primary custody of our daughter and he has visitation. He was ordered to move back to Las Vegas after he graduated school IF he wants it to be changed to joint custody. So we shall see what happens.
You need to GET IT IN WRITING!
Maybe he is trying to trick you into breaking the custody order. If you are only supposed to have her for the summer. You need him to go to the court and give you temporary custody for the extended amount of time.
What does the court say about insurance for her? Are you supposed to get it or is he, being that he has her most of the time.
This isn't something to mess around with, if you want any chance with your child again you will get a lawyer ASAP.
my husbands ex is the ulitmate ex from hell. here is my best advice to you. dont talk on the phone anymore to your ex. get everything via email or text and save every single document in a file. if you don't have documents to back you up it's he said/she said and that won't get you anywhere. I am the queen of writing requests for modification. be clear and to the point. the judge is not going to want to read 7 pages. and it must always be what's in the daughters best interest. hope this helps and good luck!
First, I would have a paper drawn up that this agreement has been made between the two of you for whatever time frame you guys are discussing. Both of you should sign it in the presence of a notary and each keep a copy for yourselves and ask the court that did your custody hearing if they would keep a copy in their file for reference. Alternatively, you may wish to hire a mediator to do this for you, and maybe work out some other issues (such as child support and insurance costs) for this time frame.
Don't forget that many states have the "first in line" rule (or whatever it is called nowadays). In otherwords, he HAS to ask you first if he is seeking any kind of arrangement due to a change in his circumstances. So, he may have had other alternatives like another family member, but legally is required to ask you first.
Good luck!
Dear R.,
If he has sole custody, you will need something in writing from him before you can enroll your daughter in school. The school will require it in order to protect themselves, I'm pretty sure. If you share legal custody, then it should be okay for you to enroll your daughter with no problems, but you don't want to get yourself into a situation where you technically don't have the right to sign school permission slips, etc.
It depends on what your court orders specifically say.
Get a calendar and document every conversation, get them in writing or by text if you can) and document every day that your daughter is with you.
If he had you deemed "unfit" this is your chance to prove that you really aren't and he just said what he needed to say to win in court.
The main thing to keep in mind is the best interest of your daughter.
I would contact someone at your legal aide office and get an enexpensive consulation with an attorney about how things should be worded, etc.
At the very least, it seems your ex should be willing to put in writing that you have his permission to seek and obtain medical care for the child while she is in your care. Heck, I write one of those when my kids stay with my mom if I go out of town.
Be glad to have your daughter. Don't fight with him about it. But do find out what you need in writing so that he can't just come back after you have your daughter settled in school and change his mind or something.
Get some legal advice.
Best wishes!
If I was you I would very nicely say: "But of course, I would love to help out!" and ask for something from him in writing, so you can enroll her in school etc.
Then make sure that you document EVERYTHING. This will give you and your lawyer ammunition later own, should you go back to have your custody agreement adjusted.You should consult a lawyer on this before you take any legal steps.
In the meanwhile enjoy the extra time with your daughter and be happy!
R.,
Make sure your former husband gives you the necessary paperwork to enroll your child in school. (School, medical records etc.) Do you have a copy of her birth certificate? If you do not, get a copy as you will need this to enroll her in school.
This is an opportunity for you to regain or receive joint custody of your child. It doesn’t matter what he tried to make you look like in court….that is in the past. Don't think of this as chance to fight him again in court, think of it as a chance for you to prove you are a good and responsible mother.
Hopefully he has offered some financial support and/or medical coverage, but if he hasn’t if you are able to support her and provide medical insurance it will be additional evidence that you are responsible.
No doubt your former husband has discovered being a single parent is not an easy task. Happily take your daughter back and wish him well in getting on his feet. Document carefully and quietly any and of all his activities concerning his daughter while she is with you. Phone calls, visits, support etc. After a few months you may have the evidence to prove that you indeed are a fit parent and should have have the custody issue modified in the best interest of your child.
The less you say to him the better except for communicating what needs to communicated about your daughter.
Blessings…..
If you don't get this in writing like everyone else has commented on, you will lose this chance to get your daughter back...
Keep a journal based on his actions, calls, emails, EVERYTHING. He had to contact you somehow over your daughter staying with you during the 6 months... write it down. Date, time, the conversation... everything in a notebook.
Get with a paralegal or a lawyer ASAP over this.
