Crying It Out - Kingwood, TX

I used the cry-it-out method with my son when he was six months old. It took about a week for him to go down without any crying.
Good luck, and stick with it because it really works.

For me its usually about 15 minutes, and after 3 days it went down to 5 min. Now he goes to sleep with out a fuss 99% of the time!

Dear R.,

Every child and parent are different. My husband and I have 3 kids, we couldn't take the crying and screaming even when our pediatrician suggested it. A friend of mine suggested a book called "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West, you can also look at her website www.sleeplady.com. Her method is a much gentler approach, that involves A LOT less tears and mad screaming. It takes a little bit longer than 3 nights, but the investment return is astounding. I started it at 9 months with my first son and immediately had results. I started the method right away with my newborn and have no problems with sleeping. The book also teaches you about growing developments that affect sleep and how to deal with them as they arise so your not losing sleep along with your child. It is so nice to be able to set my baby in his crib and say good night and walk out, my baby rolls over and goes to sleep.

I give this book to all my friends who are having babies. I think the biggest help you can give is the gift of sleep.

Good luck to you and I hope everything works out soon.

I let my daughter cry it out. She never stopped crying but it is really for a short period of time now. When she does cry for a longer period of time then I know that there is something wrong. Hope this helps.

By the 3rd night he was sleeping through the night! Good luck! It will be so nice to sleep through the night yourself too!

I used that method when my daughter was little, it worked, I do not remember how long it took. I do remember that it took the last nerve in my body to listen to it, like you it hurt. I did this while my husband was out of town and was not having to get up early for work the next day. Good luck been there also.

Hi R.,

We did this with all of our kids (we have 3) and it usually takes a few days. It is difficult the first 2 days but when you realize how quickly they understand what you're trying to have them do, it's amazing!

Good luck to you and your husband. Don't worry, it'll get better! :)

God Bless,
A.

Hey R.! I've found that it always took 3 times of something for it to sink in. (dropping at church nursery, without pacifier, etc...) Then finally... some sort of routine, then out of the blue it might come again later on. Just keep doing the same thing. I loved having a video monitor so I'd at least know my son was not caught in the crib or something. ;)

We did the CIO with all 3 of our kids and it took varying times for each, but the longest it took was a week. We did it with our youngest just a few months ago (he is 11 months now). He would cry for several minutes and I could hear his cry change from "I want you to hold me" to "i'm exhausted and want to sleep". You know your child best, and just listen to this cries. It will pay off in the end to let him cry it out.

We did the crying out method. We did it when our son was 6 months because he had gotten to the point of waking up every 45 minutes and I was losing my mind. But, we got the book by Ferber (whatever the latest edition is) and I read it first and did it exactly as he said. It's a great tool if you like knowing the physiological reasons behind infant/toddler sleep needs. It worked great for us because our son responds really well to structure and routine and he was so much happier once he got enough sleep. It took 3 nights and was fabulous after that. good luck!

I wish it had gone so well with my first baby! At 4 months when our pediatrician said there was no medical reason for her to be waking up, it was just habit, we tried the cry it out method. After 2 hours of both of us crying, I caved and fed her. The next night she fell asleep at 2 hours (she thought she figured out my limit) and then it shortened each night for the next few nights. I think the whole process took about a week for us (she was rather stubborn). Some people think that method is so mean, but she's five now, sleeps great and doesn't seem scarred for life -hee hee! I was a much better wife/mother when I started getting more sleep. Keep up the good work! Consistency is key. If you cave he'll figure that out and the process will take much longer. If you stick to your guns, he'll know you mean business!

Hi R.,

Funny you ask this as I just started this Sunday night with my 7 month old. Last night, he slept through the night for the first time!! Woohoo!!

Oh, I should mention that I did this with my first son around 7 months too, and it took about the same time (3-4 nights).

We got up every 10 minutes or so to pat him on the back for a few secs (just to let him know we're still there), but didn't pick him up. Not sure if you're doing that, but it might make it easier on you. Good luck!

I started the CIO method when our son was one. The doctor said it was fine at that age. He also told us to go in a sooth him. Our son got so mad that I didnt give him a bottle or pick him up and he screamed and cried. The next night when he cried I decided if he cries for more than 15 min then I will go in. He stoped at ten mins. The next few (3 ) nights he did this and after that he sleeps threw. Every once in a while we will hear a wimper but we leave him alone. He has had a dirty diaper perhaps twice and really lets us know that something is wrong. Three nights he should be good.

Hey R. -

I have experience with this - my first child did fine with it although it is hard to let them cry the first few nights. By the fourth night things should do well. If it isn't going well by the fifth night i would not try any longer. It is supposed to do fine by the third night - three times is a charm in behavior changes like this.

Now, my third son could not handle this AT ALL. And the reason why is that he has sensory issues and cannot self-soothe. When you have a child that is latent soother/or unable to self-soothe, you must throw in the towel and help them until they can self-soothe. They don't process normally and need a lot of help from their parents. They will let you know clearly if they cannot handle this by not changing their behavior, or changing it once and then going back to lengthy periods of crying and screaming.

Good luck to you!
Alli

I did the cry out method from the time my daughter was born. She slept thru the night at 9 weeks. I followed Babywise.

It usually takes about 4 days for a baby to change their schedule. It might take a little bit longer b/c your son is older but it will work out. Give it about a week and stick to what you are doing. It can be hard some times but you will make it thru. One thing that might help is a video monitor. This way you can check on your little one w/o having to walk in the room.

It worked for us. In my house - both baby and mommy were crying it out. I was still nursing and it was literally painful for me to hear her crying. I ended up sitting in the bathroom with the fan turned on, attempting to read a book to keep myself distracted! In four days - no more tears, and sleeping through the night. Now she's almost ten and waking up several nights a week - but that's a totally different topic! Good luck.

I did it with both my girls, and it worked within three to four days.

But -- I also noticed that it's not really a one time thing. Being sick, teething, vacations can all upset the sleep schedule, and you might have to do it again later. But each time, it took less time to get back onto the schedule.

Congratulations for doing this so young!!!!!! It really will help when they are older.

We did some CIO around that age I think. Maybe around 6 months or so, but it was a short period of time. He was always a great sleeper and suddenly he started to fight sleep. Similar to you we just listened to make sure it wasn't a hungry cry etc. but once he realized that it was time for sleep he learned to just roll over and do just that:) It was a little tough I will tell you because as a mom, hearing my baby cry was the worst! But honestly if I would go in the room to "comfort" him, the minute he saw me he would just go nuts! So we ended up just listening to the baby monitor and he never went for too long thankfully. He got to where he would just fuss for a couple minutes and then sleep and I know by nine months or so I could put him down awake but sleepy and he would go to sleep on his own. Now at 21 months he will tell me he wants "nite, nite" and go sit in the his rocker. It is so cute! So for us, establishing that nightime was for sleep and letting him learn to comfort himself was great and he is a champ sleeper today and a super happy baby boy. Best wishes!!

Oh yes. I am a firm believer now. As longer as our daughter was waking up because she had a need (diaper, bottle), we were fine with that. At some point she shifted and was just waking up to play or chatter at us. It was at that point that we started cry it out. In the beginning, we told ourselves that we would let her cry for 10 minutes and then we would intervene. She never actually made it to the 10 minute mark as she fell back asleep in about 5 minutes. I would say that she was sleeping through the night in about a week. She has hit "sleep regressions" at periods of major mental/physical growth, where we would have to reinforce good sleep habits with a couple of cry it out episodes. But so far things have been pretty smooth. Good luck and hang in there.

We did this as soon as we got to where I could identify his cries- hungry, tired, wanting attention, hurt, sick, etc. It took less than a week, though we did have to go through the process more than once b/c he was very sick the first 4 months of his life. Seems like each time he got really sick, we'd have to go through it again when he was well, but by 1yo he would put himself to sleep with no problem. He plays quietly by himself easily, and at 4, he will tell us when he's ready to go to bed early, or he will play quietly in his room at bedtime until he's ready to sleep. Either way, he still gets up on time every day for school (he's in pre-k, and has been in daycare since just before 1yo).

I think we must have done CIO a bit differently. We used the Ferber method. After 5 min of crying, go in, just to reassure. Leave. This time wait 7 minutes. Go in, leave. Then wait 9 minutes, etc. etc, until you hit a threshold where you don't want to increase the gap, for us, it was 11 minutes. Combined with a solid bedtime routine (which was identical for naptime), it was only 3 days. On day 4, DD was soothing herself to sleep when we put her to bed. Follow the method for nightime wakings, too. We all get close to waking up every 90 minutes or so, between sleep cycles. Hopefully, learning to "self-soothe" will mean that if your little one completely wakes at the end of the cycle, he can roll over and put himself back to sleep! (Like big people do!) Unless, of course, he has a real need for you - wet diaper, etc. But you'll determine that at the 5 minute visit, so it all works out.

Hang in there, mom!

hi R....

We tried the cry it out method with our daughter and it does work. The key thing is to be consistent, eventually the crying will subside. It is hard at first, but eventually it gets better. I have also noticed that if you put them on a schedule/routine that makes it alot easier as well.
Good Luck to you!!

Just to let you know, it doesn't work with every child. Seems to be working with yours, though. :) I never found anything that helped my oldest so I just let her scream for an hour or more until she passed out. For the first couple of months I just didn't sleep (she wanted me to hold her a certain way to sleep and if I wasn't holding her like that then she wouldn't sleep.) I became serious ill, was hallucinating ect. I was truly becoming psychotic. So I started letting her CIO and I started getting better. I hated making her CIO because it obviously was not 'working' as she wasn't getting any better.

Anyway, I think sometimes CIO is the only thing that works. I know some people think it's cruel but I know people who are still rocking their 6 YO to sleep everynight. That's great if you enjoy it but she needs to be able to go to sleep on her own and they DON'T enjoy it, they complain about it.

I did, and it took a couple weeks. Good luck!

3 nights is average.

I'm glad you had success last night.

This is not a method I was comfortable using. I liked Dr Sears' advice a lot better. I can't accurately recall Dr Sears' method (my boys are 15, 10 and 7 years old already!). But what I do remember is 1) get your child in bed and turn off the light (not including any night light you might be using)

2) stand at the doorway of the bedroom and wait; what you want to do here is be audible so your child knows you are there (hears you hum quietly or hears the floor boards creak, my best was a quiet tap on the door frame), staying there until your child falls asleep,

3) then repeat each time your child wakes up,

as the number of times of waking up decreases and as he falls asleep faster, you stand further back, not at the doorway, yet make some slight noise so he knows you are there. From this point, you spend less and less time at the bedroom door or outside the bedroom door, and, hopefully, less times during the night. Until it is not needed any more.

However, this method worked for me, and is recommended, for children as they get close to 3-yrs-old, which, for a lot of kids, is the "I want to be independent" stage; not for a 7-mo-old.

I'm a fan of putting a baby's crib at the bed side in the parent's room where it takes just a short time to comfort him back to sleep - or even where he doesn't wake up because he hears that you are there! Then there is the co-sleeping method, which is popular with Attachment Style Parenting groups.

Please remember that a baby crying is not a way to punish you but a real _need_ for the baby, to touch you, to be held, to be spoken to. These needs will decrease as the baby grows and if these needs are met. Needy baby's can seem like a pain, but I kept reminding myself "he won't be this age forever!"

Good luck.

Hi,

I had to do this with my son at 8months old. Night sleeping was fine (as soon as I figured out he needed more food!) but his daytime nap was not fine. I had trained him to go to sleep only with my holding him. He was getting too big, my back was suffering, and he would often wake when I put him in his bed. So we did the cry it out thing.

It took almost a week. A few times he cried/screamed for an hour and a half! It was pure torture and I felt like the world's worst mother. But we all needed sleep.

Just remember, have a good routine, plenty of healthy food, and when he's crying at night its because he's tired and needs sleep. You cannot go to sleep for him, he needs to learn to go to sleep on his own. I know it's so hard, don't beat yourself up over the crying. It should last 3 days to a week. Good luck!

I could not let my child "cry it out". We tried it, but when things didn't go well, I had to ask myself, "Why am I doing something that goes against every fiber in my being?" Babies need to know that they can count on someone to meet their basic needs. You hear about people who resort to shutting themselves in a room and turning on appliances to drown out a baby's cry. Why in the world do people do that when everything in your heart is telling you NOT to? I read tons of different "sleep" books before my child was born and the one author that made the most sense to me was Dr. Sears. He is a big supporter of "Attachment Parenting" and co-sleeping. Our baby has been a great sleeper and sleeping through the night since she was 8 weeks old. I firmly believe it's because she feels safe and secure in knowing that her parents are there and will be there when she needs us. We're benefiting because we get a solid 8 hours, too! Research also suggests that babies who received more attention early on from Mom and Dad tend to be more independent and confident later on in life. I'm sure there are folks here that won't agree with me, but you have to remember that every child is different. Attachment parenting worked for us. If the CIO method doesn't work for you, do some research on attachment parenting. It may make the difference for you.