Crying 2 Year Old

She sounds miserable and you need to find out why. She could be in pain, or it could be allergies making her miserable. It also could be just general dissatisfaction with the way her family is. Maybe the new baby is still making her feel replaced. rather than discipline her more severely, I would try exta extra love. Telling her to stop crying won't work. Have you ever tried to stop crying when somebody tells you to?Its pretty hard and also says to the child, I don't care why you are crying. I would take her to the doctor and tel him that she seems miserable all the time. If it is physical, he should be able to pin point it. If not, maybe he can point you in the right direction as far as what to do next.

They say that toddlers tend to revert back to the youngest child in the house. She is having a hard time dealing with the attention that the baby has so she feels that to get more attention she needs to be held, she needs to be fed by someone. She will retaliate especially since she gets into trouble with this attitude and the baby doesn't. My dd is starting this because I watch a 12 month old who still eats baby purees and doesn't talk very much. I just tell her that if she gives me 10 minutes(I set the microwave timer) to take care of the baby we will have 1 and 1 time for 20 minutes or so. You set the timer and I usually add a little extra time on her very good days. She still has her whiney moments but she feels better. When the baby goes home and the weather permits we will go to the park for awhile. I wouldn't do much punishing because shes not understanding why the baby gets away with it and shes not allowed. I hope this helps and gl

My doctor told me sometimes children don't react to the baby until later. When they realize that the baby is sticking around. Just give her lots of love and attention when she acts like a big girl and she will grow out of it soon. Good luck!

Time for Peace Couch. When my now 2.5 year old and just 4 year old are in a funk and we don't know why...we simply pick them up and moe them to the living room couch. We say: "You sound sad. sit here until you can calm downa and then you are welcome to join us." then leave. You probably have to repeat yourself several times in a week before it sticks at this age. But if this is the same response each time, they begin to sooth themselves and stop all together (usually a ploy for negative attention). In a store or something, leave if youcan and do the same thing, we will sit in the car until you are calm...I can not drive with you so upset. Otherwise, just strap them in the cart and say: this is so sad; I'm going to continue my shopping; let me know when you are calm and we will (play a shopping game, sing a song, get a big hug, etc) Also, read Love and Logic for the Early years

Hi there,

I am the mother of four boys. My 2 1/2 year old is a big time daddy's boy and my 13 month old is a major mommy's boy. My 2 1/2 year old has always been VERY independent. Suddenly, he's started doing the same thing- he gets jealous of the baby. He does the same thing as your daughter; grabs his blankie and drags it everywhere (and it's a LARGE full sized, heavy comforter). He even tries to take it with us outside or to the stores, and he sucks his thumb, also. He's started wanting me to hold him, also. We were at Elitch's a few days ago and I held the baby throughout the 7 hour day, and my 2 year old kept putting his arms up to me, saying "Mommy, hold it" (hold me). He does this a lot lately and it's usually when I'm already walking with the baby. I have a bad back and recently had surgery on my kidney and my 2 year old is pure muscle and like a rock (VERY heavy). I am not supposed to hold both of them at once and I am not very large, myself, and couldn't do it for long, anyway. He gets very whiney suddenly and is starting to act out and be babyish.

All kids are different. Some never need extra attention when baby comes (even if it happens a year later for some), and some need more attention than ever. Out of all of my boys, this is the first time I have personally experienced it, either. Your daughter will outgrow it; she just needs lots of reassurance and love and attention, and she will feel more secure. You'll soon begin to notice that on the days you are able to spend alone time with her, she will be less whiney. I have recently tried having a "Mommy and Damen day" (My 2 yr old). It's always Mommy and baby day because they require so much attention... but I try to give my older kids a special day for just mommy and them, as well, so that they know that they are just as special as the baby. That way, they get their own one on one time, and they know that you love them. Take her to the park with a picnic or go out for an ice cream or take her to the zoo alone- whatever she likes to do- just enjoy your time alone with her and constantly tell her how much you love her. I bet her attitude changes quickly! :)

All I can suggest to you uis to give your daughter as much one on one time as you can. Every time you put the baby down to let him play or nap, grab your 2 year old and say, "Want to sit in Mommy's lap?". Be sure to call her "Mommy's girl" so that she still feels special. Every time I put the baby down, I tell my two year old, "Come here, Mommy's boy! Come sit in my lap!" and he comes running, with a smile. He even lets out a little giggle. They just need extra assurance right now that you still love them and that the baby isn't the only one in your life. Just be sure to give her lots of Mommy's love and attention and kisses, even though it sometimes gets hard to juggle your attention. I have noticed that my son also goes to bed MUCH easier when I tuck him in. Some days the baby is fussy and I'll have my husband tuck the 2 yr old in, and on these days, he fusses and cries. I've started having my husband deal with the baby while I tuck my 2 yr old in, and it makes all the difference. I go in his room after lying him down and ask him, "Can Mommy lay down with you?", and he'll smile and say, "Yes". I lay beside him and snuggle him and sing to him, while stroking his hair, and assure him of how much I love him. He loves this routine and always goes straight to sleep. He's always such a better kid the next day! :) Good luck with your daughter and with all three of your little ones!

The constant crying is probably a sign of something wrong. You probably should check with a doctor, but it seems that its probably related to sleep issues. With a baby in the house, its possible that her naptime and sleep routines have been changed in the last few months. After a while of this, she can get all messed up! Try reading a book about sleep habits and see if that helps. (I have nine kids from 15-1 and sleep has been a big issue for us, but I've learned a lot and now things are better!) Good Luck!

Hey there,

I do not personally have experience with this - but my friend's son had a problem similar. He would cry at the drop of a hat, and he is just really sensitive. They finally did some research and found that he has a problem with controlling his emotions. There was an easy "fix" it just required a lot of help and relearning how to "deal" with him. I just thought I would mention this because they did not find out - or even try to find out - what was wrong with him until Kindergarten.....which as you can imagine a little boy crying all the time in school was very hard. I would try to get with your doctor.

I hope this helps a little.

K.

Two things come to mind: terrible twos and hormones.
I would have her hormone levels checked to see if they are normal. She sound like constant PMS.
Good Luck,
C. B Sorry, I couldn't help more!

Your daughter feels a power loss. She has no control over her little life and she’s discover if she cries & whines, she’ll gain power over mom. So there are a couple Love & Logic techniques things you may want to experiment with.

The first technique is choices. Give her 2 choices when things are going well and she is not resistant. Give her 10 seconds to decide or you decide for her. So think, instead of commands, “Put your shoes on, walk on your own, eat your food, take a nap,” Try these:
1. Do you want to walk like a duck or a penguin?
2. Do you want to drink from red cup or blue cup? Eat from the round plate or square plate? Eat with the tiger spoon or bear spoon?
3. Do you want to take a nap after 1 story or 2 stories?

You are still setting the limit – walk, eat, nap, but she gets control over how she does it, thus she feels like she has some power and control in her life. You’ll be surprised at the cooperation you get if you follow the rules.

The next skill is important too because your daughter has learned that if she cries long enough, you’ll give in. You’ll sometimes change your mind/change the limit. 1st, remember your job is not to keep her happy all the time. Your job is to raise a responsible kid who is fun to be around.

So experiment with a "Brain Dead 1 liner" like "I know" or "I love you to much to argue" It's simple - no charts, no tracking. When you ask her to walk on her own and she whines & cries, just repeat to her "I know, I know, I know"

So when she says....
I want the green cup, you say “what are your choices?” If she cries and whines, say “Oh so sad, looks like mommy gets to decide today, and I only read to girls who don’t cry. Maybe tomorrow.” And leave her in her bedroom.

Now she will throw a fit and escalate, and you don’t engage, just lovingly, sing songingly say “I know, I know, I know”

1. But it's not fair " --"I know"
2. You’re mean - "I know"
3. I won’t be your friend anymore - "Nice try"

With this brain dead approach you're teaching them that they'll get no where with whining, arguing. Set your limit and stick to it by going brain dead. (This requires little energy on your part and prevents words from squirting out of your mouth.)

There's a great love & logic tape in library "When kids drain your energy" or take one of my Love & Logic classes or parent coaching sessions. Good luck! www.headandheartparenting.com

Is she just trying to be the 'baby' again? If that's the case, my uncle did something similar and my grandparents, just made him take naps like a baby and when meal time came they gave him a jar of baby food to eat and that cured his desire to be the baby again really fast! :) Hope this helps.

Hi L.,

My son went through the same thing and had been diagnosed with Celiac Disease. It's basically an allergy to Gluten, wheat, rye, barley, etc.

In accordance with your child wanting to be held all the time... I say 1st get a protine level check done on her.
My son had 1/2 the normal level of a regular child when he was diagnosed.

Then, have more blood work done. Before I knew about Celiac
I had my son tested for Lyme disease which can cause muscle weakness. It came back negative. Then after many doctor visits, irregular bowels, whining, protruding belly button, etc. the Doctor ran a 3 panel Celiac blood test.
You'll have to request the full celiac panel test w/ IGA's
Also ask for RAS allergy testing.

I am not trying to say your child has Celiac, but it's a possibility. There is another type of unusual
Autoimune disorder that I found out about a week or two ago when my kids were in for dental surgery. A lady I met had 2 kids which one was at Childrens Aurora for a scope and she named the disorder and wrote it for me and said most doctors don't think of it. I can't find the name right now.. She told me her 18mo old couldn't eat regular food that he had to have a special formula with no protines. She said that another lady friend of hers from Arizona had a child with the same disorder and the doctor thought initially the lady was just seeking attention and so her child was taken, but now they know that child has that disorder too and she'll be getting her kid back. The lady I met also had a 5 year old boy that they brought to Colorado for the Jewish reasearch hospital for allergy testing as well , because his disorder was not confirmed as Celiac.. I'll see if I can contact via email and find out what disorder it was.

Iam sorry to ramble - Just trying to be helpful.
If you suspect something is wrong then trust your gut.
God give's parents a special love and intuition for their kids and I'd say it sounds like there may be something wrong in relation to food / allergies / Auto Immune disorders.

Hope that was helpful!
Sincerely,
K. (Mother of 2 boys) 17months & 3 year old

Take her to the doctor...a pediatrician if you can get one. It sounds like she is sick. She could have any number of illnesses that don't "show"...like a bladder infection, ear infection, etc.

ggod luck!