Attitude and Crying All the Time

Could be she is a favorite at daycare and gets held a lot. Then you get home and have to cook and take care of other things and she isn't held like she is at daycare. Maybe you should ask her caregiver if she is being held a lot.

I wonder if it's that she needs more time with you and her dad, and she's trying to get as much of your love and attention as she can. It's natural that if a young child is separated from her parents all day, s/he will do whatever works in getting that love in whatever form possible.

Try just giving her focused attention and love even before the crying and whining starts, whenever you can. Just work on reconnecting after a long day apart and being there for her, keeping TV off, the phone off, etc., and being there for her - and for you! THis will really nourish all of you.

Enjoy!

L.

My son is almost four and has gotten very emotional lately. We are thinking its because his dog had died and his papa is really sick. Has anything big happened to where something has changed? All kids go through different stages. Try doing something different from the usual routine. I know when my son is crying I hold him. That seems to comfort him and he knows that I am there for him. Bedtime is a nightmare for us also. he hates to go to bed. its usually around 11 or midnight before I can get him to bed. I hope you find something that helps. Lots of love and attention are always good. Good luck.

S. T.
www.alway4myfamily.com

I think kids tend to do whatever gets them attention, even if it is negative attention from busy parents. Catch her when she isn't whining (even if it is one minute) and tell her "Mommy loves to play with you when you are using a big girl voice." Then give her a few minutes of focused play time. When she is whining, tell her "I can't understand you when you are whining. Please talk in a 3-year-old voice." Do this OVER and OVER each and every time she whines. Be sure not to give in to her whines if she is whining for a toy or food or whatever. If it is really incessant, tell her whining means you are tired. You need to go rest in your bed for a while. This can also be helpful. If you count how many whines she has a day today and then start this program, I guarantee you that in a month she will be whining FAR LESS! I would be looking at whether she is getting 12 hours of sleep in every 24 hours. I would be also looking at her nutrition to be sure it is sound. Is there any possibility of milk or wheat intolerance? That can be a source of this. However, most of the time it is behavioral. Good luck with your precious angel!

hate to suggest it, but is she in daycare? maybe something is going on thre that shes too afraid to tell you about but is making her act out

This must be a common symptom of three year olds. My three year is doing the same thing and so is her best little friend. My first child, who is now 13, was not a normal child. She was always sweet and well behaved and always eager to please, so this is new for me too. I found it is worse when she is over tired. In a perfect world, I would put her down for a nap when this happens, make sure she gets extra rest, etc. But, life is busy and, with a strong willed child, extra rest time is difficult. I found that putting her in time out until whining and crying stops works. When she stops she can get out of time out. Be consistant, it really works.

She could just be tired. Children don't process tired like we do. They don't know they are tired and they are often difficult to deal with and have temper tantrums very easily. If that is the case, she can't control it. The solution is to make sure that she gets a nap or goes to bed earlier at night. You'll have to make that call depending upon her/your situation.

Hi L.,
My 3 yr old does this and I say to her "I don't speak "whine" I need you to use big girl words and tell me what you need/want". Then when she tells me in a little less whiney voice I say something like "Next time you can say 'Then I suggest a way to say it using her big girl voice', Can you say it like that now?"
Then I look at her until she says it...
It works for a couple of days and we do it again...
:-) I think she will get it eventually-consistancy is key!
Good Luck!

Could just be a learned behaviour. Like a habit. I know it sounds immature- but -when our kids began doing that-we pretended to talk that way so they would hear how rediculous it sounded. Then, when they talked appropriately- we praised them. Whenever we talked whiney again- they reminded us we were acting like a baby again! Worked for us!

Hi L.,
My son did the same thing. It was no fun. But what I did is as soon as it started I just put him in his room and locked the door and told him as soon as he was done crying and screaming just knock on the door and tell me you are done. Well he did that and after a few days he just did not cry as soon as he came thru the door. I wish I would have done that a long time ago. The key is to lock the door and not let them out until they stop and let you know they are done. Then I would shower him with love and attention. You have to be consitent about it or it won't work. And his door did not have a lock on it so I put a latch on the outside of it. Worked perfect.

A.

Just a quick thing that I did when our daughter when through a whiney stage. Practically the second she would start, I would immediatel hold my finger to my lips and do the "sshh" sound and calmly tell her to talk like a big girl, no whining. She would usually stop and look at my when I shhhed and then either talk or begin the whining again. I would sshh again and do the "talk like a big girl - no whining and mommy will listen." She understood and thankgoodness! I hope you get some good suggestions! Remember to talk softly to her, even when scolding her (it's hard sometimes and I definitely raise my voice on occasions!) but it really seems to make them "listen" to what your saying more and they seem to imitate what we do. Neither of our children and yellers, even when they're mad and I think this has helped them to be that way. Good luck!

My first question is what time does she go to bed? Maybe she needs to go to sleep earlier. I know if my daughter (she's 2) didn't take a nap that day at daycare, our evening is awful but I put her to bed earlier than if she had taken a nap. From what I have noticed so far, they are much fussier and hard to please when they are tired. My daughter goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 every night.