First- if you are against this method- I understand your position and appreciate it, but would we have tried many other methods and haven't had success.
My little one is 6 months old and we let her cry it out the weekend before thanksgiving. First night was awful but then by night 4 she was out all night long. if anything we would hear her for about 5 minutes and then nothing. She did great for about a week. Then Thursday she went in her for 6 month shots, and as the doctor asked how she had been feeling, and I am telling her she is fine, she started coughing... at the exact same time of course! I was hoping it was just something small but it has lingered and comes out mostly at night. It is really wet and causing her to struggle sometimes.
Also- like a dummy- not realizing how bad the cough was- on Saturday afternoon I tried to give her some yogurt. She has been on Soy formula since month 4 because of what we thought was a milk protein thing, so I was just testing it and didn't think about the cough until it was too late.
Needless to say- Saturday night was on the couch for 2 hours and last night was 1 hour. My problem is this-
She also has a strong attachment to me. I LOVE it- don't get me wrong, but when I go in there once she has cried for a little bit, she will grab my hands and sigh :(
If you are a true proponent of the CIO method, would you go in there and help her since she is probably not feeling good- or is she playing me? We have two weeks off at Christmas so I could always ‘re-train’ her then and just work through it these next two weeks. If the cough lingers through this week, I will get her into a doctor because it will prob make it into her ears soon!
Suggestions? I don’t want to torture her but I don’t want to stop all the good progress she had made!
I did the CIO with all 3 of my boys but when they were sick or not feeling well I would go in and help them out. They might go back to old ways but it doesn't take as long the 2nd time around.
She is not playing you, she's a little too young for true manipulation. She doesn't feel good, do the best you can to make her atmosphere better -- humidifier, vicks on the chest, etc. Soothe her when you feel she really needs it, but since your presence is more agitating in a way, try not to go to her too much. Mine were like that too -- if they saw me they'd be more likely to stand up and cry, while if they didn't they be lying in the crib whimpering. I always felt like I wasn't "soothing" them, so going in didn't help.
I agree that you can retrain her later, there will be lots of illness and teething that disrupt a good schedule, you will be able to go back to it once she feels better. Rest assured!
this is tough. I had to sue the cry it out for my youngest because she definitely play me!! But, when she is sick, I am going to give her all the mamma she needs! Maybe thats not good, but I know my instinct as a mom is to be there. you can re-train her, don't worry about that part. You also don't have to be excessive when helping her or checking on her when she is in bed. If she is ok, let it go. But if she is sick, coughing, fever, and just yucky, sometimes a little love from mommy can go a long way! But, like I said, this may be wrong but it's what I do, and I am all for letting them cry it out any other time! Good Luck!
An infant doesn't have the brain power, social prowess or emotional ability to 'play' or manipulate you. The stop in crying, grabbing your hands and 'sighing' is due to her relief that someone has come to save her from the situation she was forced into. Babies only have ONE WAY to share their needs, feelings and discomfort - it's called crying. When they stop crying from something you've done, it's in relief and happiness... if the crying stopped after a long time, it's due to exhaustion, desolation and fear.
CIO or not, when a kid is sick, all bets are off.
I am a FIRM believer of CIO. So take care of your sick baby and as you mentioned, retrain her when she is feeling better. She is only 6 months, she needs comfort. And I hate to tell you - but when my 5 year old is sick, she wants to be with me. So in my bed she comes for a night or two (I send my hubby to her room).
When they are sick they need mommy. But don't fret, she'll be back to her old self and her newly learned sleeping patterns in no time.
BTW - if she is still coughing, I'd go see the dr. sooner rather than later.
Even Dr Ferber calls for some flexibility and allowances in the event of sickness or major stress or upheaval.
I guess the question is, what are you accomplishing by going in, if you are helping with the cough cold, do that, but then you should probably walk out and not linger because she's using you as a sleep crutch.
You may have to re-train her, but probably won't take as long the second time around.
BTW, my MIL came over and stayed with us this summer when our little one was 7 months old. For the 7 weeks she was here she, over my objection, insisted on "helping" the baby during the night. She would give him a drink, because she thought he was thirsty, then there would be a wet diaper, then he'd be too hot. There were innumerable reasons, in her mind, for her to interfere with his sleeping through the night. No one got any sleep.
Within two days of her leaving, DS was back to sleeping through the night. I think he missed the rest.
Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.
I have done CIO with all of my kids, but have always been flexible according to their legitimate needs. Illnesses call for such flexibility. I keep a cool mist humidifier going in my kids' bedrooms at all times, and am especially diligent about filling it when they are sick. That seems to help significantly with their recovery & sleep.
She might also be teething, so you might want to try a dose of ibuprofen before you put her down for the night. Hope this passes soon & you can all get back to restful nights.
S., you have to take care of her while she is still coughing and sick. And yes, she is playing you. But go ahead and keep at it with the doctor and everything that needs to be done to resolve the cough and accompanying ailments.
Whether she feels bad or not, she has gotten a taste of the way things used to be before CIO. And yes, you will have to re-train her. But get through this sickness before you start. It probably won't take 4 nights this time.
Once you start - no turning back and no wishy-washiness.
Sorry - sick babies make for sleepless nights for you! Helping them sleep will get babies well faster! Hugs and hope you all get sleep by Christmas!!
Dawn
I agree with the other moms, you can adjust things when they are sick. But only if you accomplish something by going in... does she really need you or does she just wake herself up and you don't really aid her in going back to sleep but you feel like you should be doing something... If she is really having a difficult time getting back to sleep due to the coughing, of course you can go in and help her. Not doing so is why some folks give CIO a bad rap, too.
But if she is really coughing a lot, you should probably take additional measures as well. Do you have a cool mist humidifier in her room? That ALWAYS helped my kiddos with coughs or stuffiness.
Blessings!
I let my 2nd do it, but just could not with my first. I held her till about 3 months, then I let her cio. She got a cold around 6 months and I started to hold her when he woke up at night. BIG mistake. So all the work I did was undone. So, around 9 months I had to let her cry it out again. IT was hard, but she did get the idea. I also tur on a baby einstein mobile. She is 2 1/2 and still does not like bed time and will cry maybe, 3 minutes almost everynight, but I stick with it because my first who is 6 1/2 slept with us until she was 5. If she is really coughing hard, I would go check on her. 2 weeks ago, my 2 yr old threw up in the bed from coughing so hard, so you don't wan her to choke. Good luck. It is so hard, bc we hear those cries and want to just go pick them up and cuddle!
CIO it saved my life!!
However, when they are sick..all training is off. Go and cuddle and give her medicine if she needs it. Let her be comforted by you when she is ill.
As soon as she is back to 100%...you will have a one or two night relapse and she will be right back to sleeping through the night.
I dont think that she is playing you - she is 6 months old and not feeling well. If she really seems miserable, I would go to her. I remember, when I was young and sick, my mom rocking me and singing to me. I remember how it felt to be really sick and miserable, and how it made me feel a little better that my mom was there, holding me.
My pediatrician, who is a definite CIO proponent, says never to go in when they are sick - that they will get back into the habit of you coming in and be back to their old bad sleep habits.
I guess - use your judgement as a mom - if it seems like a regular cough (and my kids cough in their sleep all the time) leave her. If she is miserably sick, go to her.
I guess it depends on how bad the cough is. Is she really struggling? Or is it just waking her up and she can get back to sleep.
If you really think she's struggling, I'd be in there rocking her. I've found that once they get back to feeling better again, the old habit of sleeping through picks back up.
If you're running in there with every peep while she's sick like this, she's going to get used to it and you'll have to start over. But if you let her go for a bit, and only go in if you really feel she's having a hard time, I think you're OK.
I would say it depends on if what you are doing is actually helping her...... there have been times when I go to my son if need be that my mere presence makes it less likely for him to sleep and I know what I need to do is offer him some comfort (when he's sick) and then leave. It's sad, but its what he needs to fall back asleep. I will comfort him when he is sick at night, I just won't comfort him to sleep :) Good luck
