Sleep in Your Own Crib!!

I would get a second crib for the baby. my daughter stayed in her crib until she was a little older than 3. Switching kids to big kid beds too early can really mess with their sleep. They dont have the capability of understanding the imaginary boundaries of the bed.

I could never do the CIO thing either - maybe I'm too "soft". Especially when they are sick - they need you. Can you put a twin mattress in his room and sleep there when you need to? At least rock him or snuggle him to bed, then put him in is crib? Good luck I know it's tough.

The reason CIO is taking longer and longer is because you are sending him mixed signals by moving him back and forth between the two beds. Children need consistency. This time I would try a modified version of CIO. I was never one to let my kids just cry, babies need to know that you are there for them, but they also have to learn to self sooth and how to sleep. When my kids would cry I would put 5 minutes on a timer. At the end of that time, if they were still crying, I would go in and comfort. I would not feed them or remove them from the crib, I would simply sing or talk softly and rub their tummy or back until they were calm. Once calm, I would leave, and if they started to fuss I would wait another 5 minutes before going back in. I never had to go in more than once, but I started this from birth, so my boys never learned poor sleep habits. Since your child is older the transition may take longer, but by keeping the time of CIO to 5 minutes you allow him to learn to self sooth and to know that bed time means bed time, while not forcing him to just scream endlessly, or making him think you are not there for him. Best of luck.

He needs to learn there is on other option. His bed... period. If you don't want him in your bed, you are going to have to take the steps to get him in his bed. If he sick, you will just have to deal with it as it comes. But you don't need to put him in your bed just because he is sick. He needs to learn to self soothe in his own bed or he will be sleeping with you for alot longer than you intend. Maybe you should buy a cot for the occasions he does get sick. So you can sleep next to him in HIS room. But I suggest if he does get sick, and you do sleep with him, you need to make sure he is in his bed asleep first before you crawl into your cot to sleep. That way he will not be accustomed to seeing you in his room at night.

When he is ill, you have to do what you do to comfort him, but the results will usually be that because he is older, you have to start all over and it takes longer, because they have more patience to test you.

If he is not climbing out of his crib, keep him in it if possible. You may need to borrow a crib for the new baby, just so your son can stay in the crib as long as he stays in..

We cannot say it enough that children love routine and constancy. in their schedules and discipline. ANY deviation rocks their world.. They are not verbal enough to explain they like knowing what is happening next on their own..

So you set up the routine and make sure that it stays that way every day possible. This is why parents do not go out very often once the have children.. they know it cab cause a disruption in their childrens routine..

Also start giving him more of a heads up. "We are going to eat dinner and then you will have your bath".. While he is in the bath, explain "after bath we will put you in your pj's and then bedtime story", "after 2 stories, you will go to sleep." or whatever your routine is.. .

While he is in the tub, you or your husband, make his room soothing..Turn down the lights, play some soft music. make sure there is not a lot of loud activities going on in the house during bath time and bed time routine.. He will want to be in the middle of it.. TV playing , cell phones going on, loud conversations.. it has to seem like everyone is calming down for bedtime..

Then a quiet bath, as long as you rile him up, it will take double that time to calm him down out of the bath.

Then follow the routine.. Read the story while he is in his crib with his lovey.. if he has a cup a bottle or breast feeds, let that happen, Some people cuddle their children while reading.. We tried to allow our daughter to lay in he bed with her "puppy" ad she would self sooth by curling her hair around her finger.. sometimes, I would rub her back as I read.. My husband used to be so tired, he would read lower and sloer and actually fall asleep and so would our daughter!

Just figure out what will work for your family, get your husband on board and do it the same way as much as possible.

Well, yes, if you put him in a big boy bed you are opening another can of worms!! ;) LOL! I would also advise keeping him in the crib as long as he isn't crawling out. I guess I don't have much more a suggestion besides that and doing CIO again. I know it's hard when they're sick, but I always put my kids to bed in their own bed/crib when they're sick. Sometimes my daughter will come into my room in the middle of the night and that's okay b/c she's sick so I let her stay or I snuggle with her in her bed. If my son gets sick and wakes up in the middle of the night, I go in there or I hold him in a chair for a while, or whatever. My point is you don't necessarily have to let them sleep in your bed just b/c they're sick. You are right about not letting him cry it out when he's sick, that is not okay, but he can still use his own bed, even when he's sick, just be prepared to be flexible. Sometimes they like to stay in their bed and have more room and be more comfortable when they're sick.

I don't see anything wrong with co-sleeping/bed sharing. You obviously have a sick little boy and he needs you! Why not get a co-sleeper crib (take off one side and attach to your bed, and when baby #2 comes, the baby can sleep in your actual bed with you - babies especially need skin to skin touch and breast comfort often - it's in their biological design. Keeps them healthier, more contented and safe (bed sharing and breastfeeding).

I'm not sure if this will work or not but it's worth a try. When my two year old got sick a month ago since she wasn't feeling good she'd call for me every 20-30 minutes all night for one thing or another. She wasn't comfortable being sick so she couldn't sleep. After staying up all night with her calling the second night we brought her into our bed which meant non of us got sleep. so the third night I made a bed on her floor right next to hers. After a couple of nights laying next to her she started sleeping better through the night. I then went back to my room the next night.

My thoughts was maybe you could make a bed in his room for a couple of nights till he's used to his new bed and room again. It's worth a try. Hopefully he won't cry since your in the room with him. Good luck.

Can you try moving him to a pack n play or moving the crib in your room, so he has his own space, but is still near you. Then you can work on moving him out of the room. If you decide to have him CIO again (which if it were me, I'd try again), don't go back in there once he settles down to tuck him in. I would eventually go back in after she was asleep for a couple of hours to make sure she wouldn't see me, but not until I was sure she was in a deep sleep.

I hope I don't fall into the "rude" category on this, but you did ask about the next time he's sick, and you actually answered your own question. You admit that it's getting harder and taking longer to get him out of your bed each time (your fault, not his). You also admit that you gave in to make it easier on yourself. He's only learning what you're teaching. When he's sick, maybe you could use a rocker in his room or a comfy chair in the living room to care for him, or even nap in the night. Then, he won't associate your bed with sleep. The closer he can be to his crib when he's sick, the better. Just resign yourself to spending some time out of your bed, instead of taking him into your bed. Maybe Dad can take a turn, too. Do CIO as Jen C. explained, 5 minute intervals. Not really long enough for him to get too worked up. He'll fall asleep waiting for you after a couple of times. Also, I think he's too young for a big boy bed, especially if you're planning on converting his crib instead of using it for the new baby. Give him time to establish good sleeping habits for another year or two. The longer you wait, the easier it is on everyone.

Hey C.,
Have you tried putting an air mattress or aerobed in your son's room? This will help him to learn to sleep in his own bed and allow you to be close to him.

I consulted w/a sleep expert and she recommends babies staying in their cribs until 2 1/2 - 3 years old. As they get older, they will cry more because they are more 'aware' of things as they get older. Get her video, she guarantees that her 3 day method will work or you get your money back. www.3daysleepsolution.com Davis is awesome. I consulted w/her and my babies slept 12hrs/night at 12 weeks (both).
Good luck!

I agree that there's nothing wrong with co-sleeping, but only if everybody involved feels that way. Since you're asking how to get him out of your bed, that must not be the case. That's okay, too. Sleep training (once and for all, lol) is better done sooner, rather than later. I can only imagine it will continue to become harder as he gets older.

Here is a link to the video that helped us figure out our sleep training plan. It's Dr. Sears' method, which is not a CIO technique:
http://www.babycenter.com/2_baby-sleep-the-sears-method_#...

And here's a link to another sleeping resource I've been using with our 4.5 month old:
http://www.babysleepsite.com/

When our 2.5 year old daughter has been really sick, one of us has slept with her in her room. It keeps the majority of the germs centrally located and helps us refrain from building any habits we'll have to break later. Also, we only stay with her at night during the worst parts of any illness. Once she's on the road to recovery, her need for that level of comfort diminishes and we respect that she can sleep on her own. We use a monitor so we can hear if she does end up needing us.

Lastly, I don't know how far along you are, but please don't make any big changes right before/after the new baby comes. Also, I wouldn't say anything to your son about doing this because there's another baby on the way. We got a ton of great tips on easing the older child into life with a baby. Feel free to message me if you want to hear about them.

Best wishes,

S. :+)

I think it's too early for a toddler bed. He'll just be wandering all over his room. My advice woudl be to let him cry it out again one last time. You know it works. It's worked twice for you before. And then when he gets sick the next time - you be the one to sleep in his room. Not the other way around. My husband and I have always had luck with that. When he's not sick - you're back to your own bed. Somehow just seeing me on the air mattress on his floor when he has been sick worked to comfort my sick child. Best of luck. I know this is hard.

My suggestion, once you do get him back into his own bed, for when he gets sick again is for you to sleep in HIS room instead of the other way around. Its hard to be up and down all night w/ them when they are sick but it seems like this cycle that you are repeating is much, much worse and you are still ending up w/ sleepless nights when you have to re-train him.

My sons don't get sick a lot, but when they do, I try to keep their routine as normal as possible even if it means I'm up and down all night or even sleeping on the floor of their room. Its better to teach them that they always sleep in their own beds, no matter what.

Oh and fwiw I would NOT put him in a toddler bed at this age, he's too young and it would take out the option of letting him cry it out. It sucks but you'll probably just have to do a graduated method of crying it out. I would check out the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". Good luck!

my daughter (who has your lovely name :) ) goes back and forth between my bed and the crib. I try to make bedtime a quiet but entertaining start to settling and getting ready for sleep, I dont put her to bed, rather put her in crib with toys, her favorite book, let her sit and play until she gets sleepy. I leave the lights on, gradually turning off the big one, a bit later the lamp, and lastly her music box light eventually goes out. it usually works, but when it doesnt (teething etc) i take her in with me, and put her in the crib when shes asleep. My middle daughter slept with me until she was 8 yo, so I try to keep this one familiar and used to sleeping alone as much as possible. her crib is also right beside me, inches from our bed.

I would try doing your bedtime routine and then telling him you will do something (go to the bathroom, do dishes, get coffee - doesn't really matter what) for some short period (5 minutes if you can, 2 minutes if he can't wait) and then you will come back. Do it. Then tell him a longer period and then come back. At some point he will get used to knowing that you will come back and probably just fall asleep.If he wakes up in the middle of the night you do the same thing - just tuck him back in, hug him and tell him you will come back in 5 minutes. And do it. You can do this with him in a toddler bed but then you will need to get up and walk him back to his room and start over if he gets up and comes to your room. We tell our son to come in to our room if he is sick - after all I do want him to wake me up if he is coughing or having trouble breathing.

Good nights, by Jay Gordon really helped us get our daughter to sleep through the night. Personally, it sounds like your son needs to have his bed moved to your room, so you can keep an eye on him. I have also heard that changing the crib to a toddler bed (removing on side) and placing in against your bed makes a great co-sleeper that is safe for either the new baby or the toddler. Put your mattress on the floor and store your frame for a while. they are only this little and cuddly for a while. =)
Good luck!
R.

my daughter gets really sick like that and is asthmatic. i have only let her sleep in my bed a couple times when she is sick. i keep a monitor in her room and i can hear her well with it. i let her cio when she was a baby and it worked after a while. i agree with the other moms DONT GO BACK IN TO TUCK HIM IN! he thrives knowing that you will come back in. another thing i used to do with my daughter was let her fall asleep in my bed then put her in her bed about 1 hour later. i co slept a little with my daughter until she was 4 months and she went in her own room. she would wake around 6 and i would get her a bottle and toss a few toys in her bed and she would entertain herself till i got up later. sometimes she would even go back to sleep. i knew when she was up for good because she would holler maaaaaaaammmaaaaa and shake her crib.. if it was before 8 am she would come into my room and snuggle until daddy got home.

It's so sad many of us are apprehensive about asking questions seeking perspective/guidance because we just don't want to hear judgmental comments that almost never answer the question. Anyway, as for the crib, it only took about a week or so (and no CIO at all) to condition my daughter to her crib after co-sleeping for 12 months!!!!! She would hold my hands until she got tired, I'd sing songs, read a book, etc...now she gets in the crib (I be sure to put her in only when I know she's tired, NOT when I want her to sleep) and she falls asleep much easier. If I put her in too soon, that's when the push back starts...she wants to get out and in the bed with me. NOW, unfortunately she is still not sleeping through the night, separation anxiety, so sometimes I am too tired to wait for her to fall asleep and just let her sleep with me until she dozes off then back to the crib she goes so when she wakes up it will look more familiar.

I hope this helps.