Hello!
My sweet little doll baby is now almost 15 months. She used to go to sleep at 7:30 and wake up @ 4:00 to eat, and then go back to sleep until 6-7.
About a month ago, she started getting up THREE TIMES A NIGHT! And she yells and cries until you go get her. At first, I went and got her anyway, nursed her, and put her back to bed. I thought it was a little phase.
She is still doing it, and if I leave her, and dont get her, she will yell and cry for over an hour - wide eyed, wild haired little creature standing in her crib screeching.
My two questions:
1) WHAT IS GOING ON?!
2) What would you do?
Thanks for all of your comments. A couple of things, I think, are going on. One - she is definitely going through a "separation anxiety" phase. She wants to be held most of the time, and when she isnt, she holds on to my leg. If I leave the room, she follows. I think that is part of the problem.
The other part, a day or two after posting this I felt around in her mouth and found another tooth coming through!
She is back now to her regular sleep habits, which include getting up once in the night to nurse and cuddle. I don't have a serious plan to eliminate this comfort feeding. We will see what the next few months bring...
I would rule out teething, ear infection AND over-tiredness. A rested baby always sleeps better at night.
personally i can't stand to see my precious little ones turn into wild little creatures. I have to comfort them. If you need to break the habit of nursing at night have dad go comfort her.
For me, i was willing to be uncomfortable in order to minimize the craziness, sometimes that ment going in and pattign them on the back till they fell asleep again, or it meant sleeping on the floor next to the crib holding my little ones hand. Personally, i was willing to do it, didn't love it all the time, but ignoring them when they were out of their minds with fear or pain just wasn't possible for me.
Teething, illness, separation anxiety,growth spurt, reflux, a messy or wet diaper, being too hot or too cold any thing. sometimes it is just a phase.
She is certainly old enough to be sleeping without nursing in the night.
I would probably nurse her later, maybe around 8:30 or so and put her to bed then. Do the whole bath/story time/song/prayers/cuddle routine. Like others said, teething could be a possibility. Once you rule out if she is uncomfortable or not, I would maybe peek in, rub her softly on the back then walk out of the room. She needs to learn to self-soothe.
Dr. Sears has some great advice for this;
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
Pre-verbal littles can't tell you in words what's going on. They can only yell or cry when they have a strong feeling and need comforting.
At your daughter's age, she is dreaming and possibly having nightmares, and she may very well have separation anxiety. If you, her anchor, her source of sustenance and comfort, are out of sight, she may believe you have ceased to exist. She'll eventually understand that you are just in the next room, but think of how unnerving it would be to awake from a distressing dream or in physical discomfort and sense that you are completely alone in the world.
It's extremely common for children's sleep to be disturbed at various growth stages by all sorts of things – hunger, teething, strong mental stimulation/excitement when they are on the verge of acquiring a new skill, indigestion, even exposure to household chemicals (like fabric softener, laundry scents) that excite the central nervous system.
It's awfully hard to know until you are looking back on this phase a week or a month from now. But your daughter is probably in a temporary phase, and it will probably pass if she's not allowed to work herself into a tizzy (at which point the anxiety she's expressing could become part of her nighttime pattern, and a longer-term problem).
Many parents believe that giving the child the comfort it needs at night will result in a new habit of neediness. I tend to see that the neediness is there and expressing itself loudly, and if the parents can meet the child's need, she will move through it more quickly.
The bath idea is a great one, I would try the relaxing lavender bath. Also feeding her some cereal, fill that tummy :-). Make sure she is comfortable not too warm or cold. Have you tried a glow worm? My grandkids each had one actually my grandson's was a sea horse but the idea is the same. They have a motion and sound detector and a soft light and soothing music plays if they wake up. It's usually enough to settle them back down. I also agree with putting her down while still awake, use the glow worm, hugs and kisses, rub her back --soon the glow worm will be enough to sooth her.
What does her nap schedule look like? Is she still doing two or is she down to one? One early nap might do the trick.
I would rule out the things mentioned, teeth, ear infection, nap schedule, medications she is on (especially allergy ones), etc. and if it continues I recommend "The NO Cry Sleep Solution" which will give you suggestions to try. It worked with my daughter at this age in about two nights........I don't think the CIO method is appropriate for children under the age of two (this is supported by Dr. Sears, Dr. Karp, and Dr. Faye). Follow your gut until you feel good about it and know you are on the right path.
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Congratulations you have a perfectly normal "crazy baby". She is training you well. Since she is only 15 months old it could be part of the teething process. I would say still feed her but don't let her fall sound asleep in your arms. Put her down and rub her little back. Get her some form of soft lovey to hug and cuddle. She needs to learn how to self soothe otherwise you will be the one doing it for some time to come. It's time to teach her that you are there for her and care for her and she can get herself back to sleep. Consistency is the key to success. Be strong and consistent.
Hi L.,
As was suggested, teething might be part of the problem. If that is the case you can apply some gel to her little gums at bed time and perhaps give her some baby tylenol (check with her doc)
At 15 months a healthy baby should be sleeping through the night and not waking at 4 AM to be nursed.
I suggest feeding her (solid food around 7-7:30), then a nice soothing bath, prepare for bed, nurse and put to bed a little later (8:30 - 9 PM). If your child is full, there should be no need for a 4 AM feeding.
Blessings.....
Maybe this started because of teething pain? Whatever the cause, babies schedules change constantly. Just when you think everything is running smoothly, they get sick or have a growth spurt or have teething pain, etc. You will probably get a lot of people who say let her cry. At 15 months, I would go that route as long as you know she is in no pain, isn't sick, and isn't frightened. However, I wouldn't let her cry for too long without checking on her. I, also, believe all children are different. Some you can let cry for a short time and they'll settle down, but some are very stubborn and will just go crazy and cry for hours. Kids are people and we are all different so what works for one may not work for all. We could let my oldest cry for a short time(5-10 minutes) and he would calm down and go to sleep, but my youngest is completely different. He threw himself over the side of his crib, accidently, because he was so hystrerical. We knew that we couldn't leave him to cry for more than 5 minutes because he would just not tolerate it. It sounds like cio isn't the best method for your daughter. Maybe she is hungry. Feed her extra at dinner and see what happens. In my opinion, feedings in the middle of the night should not continue past a certain age and your daughter has certainly reached that age at 15 months. Have you tried comforting her without picking her up and sitting in the room with her until she gets sleepy again? Are you sure she doesn't have any type of pain-teeth, ears?
I just had my third six months ago. Usually she sleeps so well, but she has started waking up more lately. Let me tell you, my first got to cry it out a lot and I hated it. My second cried it out some until I found the Sleep Lady's book and so I tried her methods.
Well, now they're six and four and they both sleep great...but I miss the baby snuggles:(. With this third little girly I go get her. If she wants to nurse a bit I do, if not I rock her and snuggle. They grow up fast and they will all get to a point when they won't want/need to get you anymore:(. Try not to wish it away and just allow it to be the blessing it can be:)!
Whether you choose to comfort or not, I do recommend you stop nursing her in the middle of the night. A 15 month old doesn't need it, and it is bad for her teeth and for her sleep habits. She is nursing at night for comfort, but you can help her learn other ways of comfort. When my 10 month old was doing this, I chose one night when I knew he was healthy, not badly teething, etc. to cut him off (at the urging of my pediatrician). So, when he cried for his nighttime feeding, I went up and comforted him, but didn't offer milk. He screamed the whole night and I stayed with him the whole night. The next night, and most nights thereafter, he slept through the night. Now, if he wakes up crying in the night, I give him a few minutes to see if he's really awake and if he'll calm down by himself. Mostly he does. If he doesn't, I go upstairs, rub his back a little, and leave. And repeat if necessary, but now he can mostly calm himself and fall back to sleep. Going up to his room now is mostly something that just occurs when he's sick.
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes it seems like CIO and comfort are complete opposites, but really I think its a continuum. Tackle one problem at a time (like the nursing at night) and offer some comfort while guiding your child toward more independence. Also, don't be afraid to talk to your child about what you want. Yes, 15 months is young, but she'll understand a little and it may help.
Good luck!
My son went through the same thing at that age. I had him checked for ear problems which he had a lot of at that age but in the end the pediatrician suspected teeth coming in. I tried 3 nights giving him tylenol before bed but it didn't help. I was about at my wits end when the doctor told me to try him on motrin at night and he slept all through the night. They are different meds and one sometimes works better for some people than the other. Give it a try!
