Hi Y.,
Well, I think your son may be going through something like teething or a growth spurt, and he needs comfort at night. Just think of what it must be like, a baby can't rationalize or reason, they just feel, physically and emotionally. So, imagine freaking out for some reason and screaming for help, and none comes. Or imagine freaking out, and someone comes and soothes you. Which do you think is more natural and helps a baby more? for a baby this young it is not good to let them cry. Their needs are too basic. Have compassion for your baby, don't torment him. If a child is crying because they're upset over not getting a toy they want or something, it is totally different. If you were at home, screaming and screaming because you had something wrong with you, and your husband and mother are ignoring you, is that good for you?
If Milo is teething, Motrin helps; you can try it and see, if he doesn't wake up that's the solution to the problem. If he's going through a growth spurt, your night-time milk has the highest fat content, and helps the most for growing and actually for sleeping too (longer to digest). I don't know who told you that you shouldn't feed your baby at night, but that is a baby-to-baby issue, different for different ones. Night wean later. And night weaning is not an instant process, you do it gradually over the course of a week or two. You are helping him learn how to sleep longer.
I think that for the most part, when babies are sleeping better not in the parents room, it is just that the parents are not hearing the baby wake up slightly. Babies sleep very lightly on their backs, and their sleep cycles almost wake them up, they make noises, and sometimes we think they are awake and pick them up, when they would have gone back to sleep on their own. But it sounds like Milo is having a full wake on his own, so I'd go ahead and soothe him back to sleep. If you can do it by stroking him, then he doesn't need to eat. But if he needs to eat, feed him!
I read two books that were very helpful, The No Cry Sleep Solution for sleep issues (all gradual and gentle, but effective methods for sleep training), and Our Babies, Our Selves, for understanding the biology of babies, and why they do what they do. Our Babies Our Selves (Meredith Small), is just a FASCINATING read for a new mother (well, any mother, but especially new). Also, when my son went to a crib, we used a sheepskin mattress pad, so it was cozier for him. We slept on it for a few nights so that it smelled like our bed, it was yummy feeling!
Best wishes, and follow your instincts with Milo! You're doing a great job.