Corner into Intervention

Do not be angry at her. Embrace her thoughtfulness and worry and remember that what she did was an act of love.

If she was contemplating suicide, would you get her help and intervention? Same type of deal.

She is a good friend to you. It might of shocked you that she did this. She doesn't want you to die. You might not realize how thin you actually are. your family might actually really be terrified of loosing you. Try to see why she did that.

Lots of self-destructive behaviors are coping mechanisms. Some people cope with exercise, some cope with sex, some cope with drugs or alcohol... You cope with your eating disorder--either with food (bulimia) or without (anorexia). When things get stressful or upsetting, you calm down by letting your compulsive behavior control the situation.

Unfortunately, putting you 'on the spot' and embarrassing you with the intervention has probably intensified the urge for you to rely on it... Unless someone has been subject to a compulsive behavior, they probably don't realize how an intervention may intensify the bahavior they're trying to stop.

Sweetheart, you need some help- especially if you feel too overwhelmed to know how to replace the destructive coping mechanism with a healthier one. If she/they did an intervention, then they are scared for you. You can't see the effects on yourself--but they feel desperate to help you. Was treatment/help offered as part of the intervention? Are you not going to accept it? Truly, you have to want to stop. You have to want a different existence for yourself. If you don't want to stop, nothing will motivate you unless you want it for yourself.

You can overcome it, but you have to have an honest discussion with yourself about knowing what things set you off and avoiding those things. And if you find you can't overcome it yourself, accept the help offered.

You might not be able to be around your friend, especially if her presence reminds you of uncomfortable memories which in turn make you anxious (and trigger your coping mechanism). I not suggesting that you alienate yourself, but you need to get in control of your environment and your day to day experiences.

Hug to you, mama. And your friend who loves you.

A long, deep hug.

It has nothing to do with being "right" or "wrong." Your friend is trying to help you, the only way she knows how. Accept her help, and anyone else's help who offers it to you. You might not be able to fix this alone.

Also, I think anger is probably a common and normal reaction from people who have been "intervened" upon. So, move on to the next step.

JUST BY YOUR POST: It is clear you need some help. An intervention is not something that you are supposed to know about, but it is much better then an accident, where you lose your life and/or take some ones life.

God bless you and keep you safe and give you the understanding and ability to forgive the people who love you best.....Even when it doesn't feel that way.

I don't think you should be mad at her, but that's a pretty common reaction. It's hard to take a look at ourselves and see what we are doing wrong, but EVERYONE ELSE can plainly see it. I've been in your shoes, and I know. Believe me, it's not fun, but she's just doing what she thinks is best.

Prayers for you.

Here is what i think, Yes you were seeking help which she might not have known about, SO i would take her intervention combined with you being ready as a sign that your little baby step was the first step and she is providing the second step by showing you how deep her love for you is and now hopefully the third and fourth and fifth down the line will take you where you need to be. so just keep putting one foot in front of another.

And if you can look at it this way, she made you ANGRY, yes? and you can use that Anger to move you forward. I know you are making progress on your own, but now you can see how much she loves you. She loves you enough to make you super mad. And you can control that, You can harness that anger and direct it into hating this horrible disease and finding a new way of coping with things. allow yourself to be angry but keep taking those steps.
best wishes

I think it is very normal for you to feel angry but I don't think you should be angry if that makes sense. You should feel very blessed to have a friend who loves you so much and that would risk your entire friendship to save your life. I think we naturally begin feeling attacked and anxiety about changes and that can cause you to feel angry. I would let her know that you love her for what she has done but you are feeling angry, even tho you don't want to be angry. Fore warn her that if you do or say anything offensive to her that you really don't mean it but your going thru a rough time handleing the anxiety. I once had a friend who had a drinking and drug problem. He was my best friend in high school. We took our senior trip to Mx and things got terribly bad. He actually jumped off our 4th floor balcony but my BF (now husband) caught him by his belt and pulled him up. At the end of the trip he remembered nothing about it. One of the hardest things in my life Ive ever had to do was to face his parents with out him knowing and beg them to get help for him. I couldn't stand to see him just waste away. After talking with his parents I had to confront him and give him a heads up that his parents knew everything and that I loved him and couldn't watch him continue down this path. That was the last day we ever had a real conversation. He was grateful at the time but once he sobered up he was very angry. I knew that it wasn't the true him but he didn't talk to me for years after that inncident. What your friend did took a lot of courage and love. Just tell her exactly how you feel!

I had a friend who was anorexic. She was 5-6 and 90 pounds. (If that.) The thing is, she never saw it as bad as it was. It was BAD. We did an intervention, because they saw how desperate the situation really was. What I'm saying, is your friend is seeing how desperate the situation really is. You can't. Your right in the thick of it. It's like trying to see your nose, you can't really see it. It's out of focus. Speaking from experience, an intervention only happens when it is VERY very bad. She is scared. She cares. Just understand, that she ONLY did this because she loves you. She doesn't want to see you hurt yourself. You will probably be mad, but you shouldn't. You really, really shouldn't. Yes, you are wrong. And, I'm not saying that to be mean. Not at all. I'm only saying it, because it's the truth.

I hope you will continue to get help. For yourself, but mostly for your children. You deserve to be healthy, and your children deserve a mother who is healthy and giving them an example of stability. You might feel OK, but you aren't stable. Anorexia and stability are oxymoron's. I hope you get better, I truly do.

You are a good person doing the best that you can. You always have the right to feel however you feel. I don't understand whey the intervention is so upsetting but it is. I suggest you write down all the reasons that you're upset and then go through the list and see if you can change the way you feel. Sometimes, we are overwhelmed. sounds like that might be what happened to you and when we put our thoughts on paper we feel more in control.

You are not wrong to feel the way you do! We don't know your history or what was done and said at the intervention and so can't know why you feel the way you do. That's OK. You're the only one who needs to understand it.

Good for you to have told your friend how you feel. And good that you're willing to work on the issue so that you can maintain the relationship.

Libby
I don't know what kind of eating disorder you have, anorexia is life threatening and other types of eating problems are let's just say a symptom of the bigger problem.
You can use methods for eating that work to replace other kinds of food obsessions like macrobiotic diet and vegan diets. These keep you thin. Have you ever seen a fat vegan? You could eat for your blood type. There are support groups all over the country for people who have bi polar problems that will allow them to learn ways of coping.
It's your life. Make it work for you.

I dont think you are wrong persay, I just think that you are overwhelmed with the intervention, because one: It was unexpected and two: You probably didnt feel it was needed because you were already getting help. Which I agree with you there. If you were already seeking and receiving help, then why have an intervention? And intervention is for people unwilling to get help. It was thoughtful, and loving of her to do it because she is your best friend and your soul sister as you said and she really cares about you. She could have gone about this a whole different way and you may not have felt the way you do now.. But there is no reason that you have to feel like you are back at square one, especially after all the hard work you have achieved over the past two weeks. Stay strong and remember she did it out of love and just wants to help. Dont be angry with her for doing it, just tell her that if she wants to help then she needs to support the help that you are already getting. Maybe she could go with you to counseling if that is what you are doing, for support.

Dont feel down, everything is okay, and keep seeking help for this problem. You can do it, and you know you can you just have to keep strong and go for it. Keep your chin up, and do something nice for yourself this weekend to make yourself feel better. Always focus on the positive in things and not on the negative. Commend yourself for what you have achieved and not think of how far you have to go. Keep strong and focused!

Well, the important part of any intervention is immediate help and treatment. Not familiar with your PPs about this but you might want to get into residential treatment.

oh hunny I'm sorry, No one likes to be put on the spot like that. It humiliating -to say the least - All your "dirt" is brought out into the light......
She LOVES YOU! thats why she did what she did!! I bet you would have done the Same Exact thing for her !!? You have the right to be Angry (not necessarily at her) but just in general. Its normal! I LOVE your sentence "I am ready for the process of getting better" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*****Make that your mantra! Be Strong you have a Wonderful support team :-)
and you have US ;-) Keep us posted darlin' ! BE STRONG !!!!!!!!!!!!!