Copying Friends

This is very, very typical at this age. Please don't make too big a deal of this with her or she may either get worse about it -- stubbornly doing it even more because she knows it pushes your buttons -- or she may have the opposite reaction and be confused and upset with herself because she believes she's done something wrong and upset mom.

It's not necessarily lack of confidence or any inborn tendency to be a "blind follower" as you call it. It's being four, and thinking her little buddies are just the most interesting things in her whole world, and wanting to please the buddies in that instant of time. Nothing more. It doesn't necessarily mean she's surrendering her personality to others. Since she is "creative" and "stubborn" (do you mean, she wants what SHE wants and isn't a follower?) at home, I would not worry about this right now.

The time to worry would be if she has a friend who's pushy and unkind and regularly excluding other kids, and your daughter mimics that behavior. THAT would be cause for concern, and then it would be time for two things -- a talk about how we treat others, and distraction for your daughter as you quietly shift her away from playing with that particular friend.

But what you describe here is nothing like that. It's a copycat phase that is very normal and not worth getting worked up over.

I think it is ages and stages - she wants to try different things, she may be bored with her own thing and want to try someone else's.

My kids were never copiers or followers.
I always taught them to be themselves and think for themselves and to know who they are.
That they are their own person.
Just as my late Dad, taught me.

But I think it is also personality and age stages.

Its real common for them to want to be the same do the same have the same and they get over it soon enough.

I only see this as a prob if she tries something new, doesn't LIKE it and continues to keep ordering it. then she is following, but if it's just trying a new flavor of icecream then no biggy, she'll learn what she likes and doesn't like.

It's probably just a phase. I'm sure this phase of hers will pass...sometimes from what I see at school, the girls have more of a "group think" thing going on than the boys do!

My son never really did this though.

I've always praised the "independent thinker" idea and BOY has this come home to roost now that he's almost 9! LOL