Contemplating Further Education

L.,
There are so many factors to consider, including your priorities in life. First, consider the cost (both time and money) of the PhD. You state that you don't want to work full time because it would give you less time with your children, but yet you consider pursuing a PhD? A PhD is not like other degrees and I hope you have spoken to someone to really understand just what a huge commitment it can be. I don't know the age or number of children you have, but you likely will not be able to carry a full course load. As such, you are probably looking at a 2-3 year course program with additional time for writing of the dissertation. I am a social scientist, so my dissertaion requred lengthy research and writing (5 years part time). Depending upon your major, it may be more or less of a commitment. Does the time out of the work force and money spent for tuition really make up for the pay increase, not to mention the less time you will have for your family while in pursuit of the degree. If you are really focused on the higher salary job (and make sure that a PhD over experience will make a difference - as an employer, I prefer experience) then I encourage you to follow the PhD path. My personal opinion is regret that I spent so much time and money on a stupid piece of paper. I am in the process of a career change that renders all my higher education useless. I came from an education focused family and I felt that I had to get a PhD to prove myself. Even with a full tuition reimbursement and stipend, the amount of money I spent on books alone was astronomical. Along the way, I became very disillusioned with the entire higher education process - another story. I don't want to sound negative, but I wish I could have all that time spent reading and writing back again to experience life rather than books. A dissertation requires an inordinate amount of focus and I just felt like a missed some of what was happening in my family. I guess that I have come to the conclusion that my time is more valuable than money. That is for my life circumstances and for my major, it may be entirely different for you. Life is simply about compromise and you need to decide your own threshold. I balanced school, work, and family, but I was always left feeling guilty that I was not able to give any one item my full effort. I was always left feeling that I could have/should have done more or been better. With the benefit of hindsight, I see that it was not the best choice for me, but that should not stop you. I recommend that you talk to someone at the school(s) you are considering to realistically determine the time and monetary costs associated with acquiring the degree. Then I think you can make a more informed decision for yourself about whether or not the PhD is worth it.
Good luck,
C.

I absolutely LOVE being in school. It's like the perfect blend of being a SAHP and a WP all in the same fell swoop.

I started when my son was 2 months old.. so I don't have a "what it should be" attached to schooling, it's just always been the way it is.

Meaning:

I studied ONLY when my son was sleeping when he was little, and one day a week was a "daddy day" from breakfast to bedtime, so I got a lot of work done on that day as well.

Now that he's older (8) I can actually set him up with his own schoolwork and we work on our studies together in parallel (we homeschool), but I still get the vast majority of my work done while he's sleeping.

I really needed the delineation of the student hat and mom hat when he was young, because I found I couldn't blend the two. Either I was a crappy student, or a crappy mum... and I wasted time while he was awake worried/stressed about school when I needed instead to be giving my attention to HIM, and when he was asleep I was railing over the missed time with him when I should have been studying. So I said screw it, and compartmentalized. My time with him was HIS, and when he was asleep, it was student time.

I should add... I ALSO have never taken a full load. I've tried, for ME it doesn't work (not enough time). So I just don't. 2 classes is fantastic. Chuck the prestige of blah blah blah... who really cares how *long* it takes me? I'm not shooting for teaching Ivy League, so I don't need to be *impressive*, I need to be durn good at what I do, with the grades a recs to back me up.

I should also add... my classmates without kids don't get it. They don't get that I can't just take my books or papers to grade to the bar after class. They don't get that what's important to me is both my family AND my education, and that that means separating out my time differently than they do. They don't get that I can't spend 10 hours a day "working", or I'd never sleep, so I have to be really efficient. They don't get a ton... to they try to tell me what I "need" to do. <laughing> Which is really funny to me. Especially since my grades are higher than *most* of their grades, and I have a lot more interaction/connection with my profs than most of them as well... which means that (politically speaking as I will eventually need a job at a uni), that I'm better set up to do so.

I can speak from the kid's pov, if you are interested. My mother got 2 masters and a PhD when I was a kid. I wasn't little, I think she finished her doctorate when I was in high school, not sure really. She was always reading or working or studying or doing something else for her career or degree. It probably would have been nice to see her once in a while when she wasn't reading or studying but I really don't remember that at all. She still did mom stuff too like cooking, cleaning and picking us up (always late) from stuff and we had vacations, but mostly she was doing her thing, not ours. I'm not resentful about it, though my goals for my family are totally different. We have a fine relationship, I don't begrudge her what she wanted for her life. I think people need to pursue their dreams and that was hers but I always wished I had a different kind of mother, one who was around and had time for my stuff. So I'd say if it is your life's dream to pursue a PhD, then you may find a way to find the balance that will give you what you want from both family and career, but if it's just for the money you should really think about the trade offs.

I know several PhDs, it's tough, even without a family

I went back to school when my first child was 11 months old. I had another child while in school, and a third right after I finished my student teaching. I thought I was all done - had what I needed for my career (Kindergarten teacher) and it's quite a stable job market. Wouldn't change the decision to go back to school then at all (all the child development classes involved made me a much better mom, at least)

Fast forward 7 years (that baby born just after I finished student teaching just turned 7). Turns out that teaching wasn't my thing; I stopped a couple of years ago. And I've gotten this wild hare to totally change my path and go back to school. I'm getting a 2nd bachelor's, in math now, so that I can go on for a Masters and hopefully PhD (I'm also in my early 30s). I will most likely be able to get a well-paying job with that, but I'm not sure where it's going to take me. My husband has been VERY supportive (and it has even prompted him to finish his degree). The kids are in school most of the time I'm in school, and we all have homework time. It hasn't been easy. But I don't regret it. I'm more excited about things than I have been in a long time. And my kids are seeing that lifelong education is important, cool, and fun.
It does take some planning, compromise, and sacrifice. But we still do fun things as a family and the kids don't need my constant attention any more (it was harder when they were little, but I got really good at putting them to bed and then pulling out the books, or even studying and nursing at the same time). And they do just fine without all the "extras" (and they are learning how to save and prioritize with money too).

So if it's something that you really want to do, and your husband supports you (I'm making an assumtion that he's in the picture), I'd say go for it! You'll be giving up some "leisure" time, but you'll be getting so much more in return.

I would advise that you look at the actual market in your area. Find out the job availability and salaries with a PhD. My sil ended up with a lower paying job with her PhD and a huge mountain of debt. Will you be paying for your PhD or will someone else be paying for it? That is a huge factor in the decision. Will you be wanting to work full time or part time? Do you need it, really? What is your motivation? Some people are addicted to degrees. Expensive hobby. LOL

Really, really make sure the PhD will pay off. Do informational interviews with people doing the job you want.

A Ph.D is a lot of time, money and commitment, and it doesn't necessarily guarantee a larger salary. In fact, I had a harder time finding a job when I graduated!