Concerned Single Mom

If there is anything we learn as parents, it is to always go with our gut. If you are uncomfortable in the slightest, that is ok. I agree with you that especially being the first day your child was there - whoever picked him up should have been asked for an ID.

Next, communication between teacher and parent is of the utmost importance. You do not see your child all day and you need to be made aware of his day. Especially in the beginning. He is still in transition and this is very new to him. The way his day is will set the tone for the rest of his evening. If he didn't have a nap - he may need to go to bed early. If he didn't eat lunch (or ate very little) he may need a larger dinner, or need to eat earlier than usual.

I think you have every right to go in there tomorrow and speak with the head of the school and also the teacher to make sure they know up front your expectations as his parent. If you are not upfront in the beginning, they may take advantage of that and feel like you don't expect what they are supposed to be doing in the first place - therefore won't follow through. They have your child's life in their hands and they need to respect you for trusting them with him.

It's ok that you have him in day care - every parent has a right to do with their child what they need. You know what is best for your child. No one can tell you what you're doing is right or wrong - just go with what you need to do.

And, if your Dad goes tomorrow and picks him up and they don't ask for his ID - he should consider telling them he expects to be asked for it every day until he is recognized - and he can ask the teacher for a written report of your sons day. That way they know he is also aware of your expectations.

I hope this helps. While I do not have a child in day care or a MDO program yet, my sister has shared many stories with me on situations they've encountered. I've found through her that the more open and upfront you are, the more serious they take you and know you are paying attention. I know that some of this seems easier said than done - I agree - but setting the standard for your child's care is what really matters.

Good luck,
S.

PS - Be sure to keep communication open with Karson as well. I know he's only 21 months, but he senses your sincerity and love when you talk about his day. When talking with him, stay positive and smile. :-)

As a teacher & former day care worker, I would let them know your concerns. If they don't comply, then I would switch him.

Putting your child in daycare can be the hardest decision ever made. If this is the first time your child has been in daycare, I think no matter where you put him there would be a period of adjustment. I am sure he will come out of his shell and really enjoy himself, it may just take him a little time. However if you get the sense that it is more that just the usual adjustment period, that it is something about the daycare, maybe you could look into other options, there are a multitide of both center and in-home daycares in the area.

However I too would have serious concerns about what occured yesterday. The fact that they did not ID your dad and he was able to just walk right in, is very concerning. Also they should tell you how your son's days was, it is really important for them to communicate with you about what is going on.

I would follow your gut on this, you are paying them to take excellent care of your child, if they are not doing this, it may be time to look elsewhere. I really love my in-home daycare, I feel that my child gets a lot of one on one attention and everything is very consistent.

I would definitely be very concerned about your dad not being IDed. There is no excuse for that. If the director was not there, the other people in charge should know how to follow protocol. I probably wouldn't leave my child there. That is just my opinion. What if a total stranger had come and picked up Karson and no one would have been the wiser? Those kind of mistakes do not happen in well run facilities. Good luck.

If you just started daycare, your son might be uneasy about the separation. I've noticed some new kids are happy inside the daycare but once they see their parents come, they change their attitude, basically to make their family feel guilty (Kids are so smart). Be sure your child knows that you have to work to provide a home, food, and clothes for the family. That way he will see the importance of you working. Give it time, it will all work out. But, the daycare does have to ask for ID. What if your dad would have been a stranger, where would your son be right now? If they had known your dad as a regular, that would have been different story, but not the first time he picked him up. The person that released the child to him was probably under the impression that your dad had already been checked by someone at the entrance. You might want to bring it up to the staff, you could say "My dad picked up my son for the first time the other day, he didn't (or forgot) to show his ID, do you need a copy of it?" They'll get the hint! That way you're not just being careful with your child, but you might be preventing something bad from happening to one of the other kids. Have a good day M..

M.,
As the executive director of a childcare I would advise you to talk to them about all of your concers. Especially the fact that the door was open. If you the parent is told that the door will be locked-the door should be locked. If the policy states that I.D.'s will be checked you have every right to hold them to that. I can guarantee you that if they had any qualms about you or your child and his well-being they would be the first to question you and to even go so far as to call CPS- do not hesitate to talk to them about your concerns. I am not trying to trash anyone or any center BUT, always go with your gut feeling! I also encourage you or your parents to drop in on the center and Karson at different times of the day. YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER and the well being of your child is PRICELESS! God Bless