Daycare Concerns- What Should I Expect?

Hi A.! I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this!! Just a few suggestions...do a drop by during the day and check out how your daughter is doing, but don't let her know you are there and don't let the daycare know you are coming in. Also, remember that some of the "best" restaurants are the "wholes in the wall" so to speak. Paying more does not necessarily mean better. If you really think they are treating the kids poorly, you should call social services...alot of parents maynot know what's going on. Alot of children, especially youngers ones, don't say anything about "mean" teachers. Go with your gut and listen to your daughter...you can't go wrong!

Good luck and I'll say some prayers for you all!

T.

A. - absolutely, positively pick up the phone and call the director. Does the center where your daughter goes have the webcam? My son's preschool does have the webcam and I'm able to log in throughout the day and check on him, and I do.

I also agree with another poster regarding the state website. I check that site often on my son's preschool to see what's going on. DS has been at the same preschool since he was 12 weeks old and he just turned 3! He'll stay at this school until August and then he's going to a private Christian preschool thru high school.

I called the director at my preschool one night before closing because my son was saying, 'don't be stupid!' and then he would laugh hysterically. I was like WHAT!?!? The director was very concerned. I never say stupid in front of my child, but I will spell ID-ten-t (idiot). Come to find out my son picked up "don't be stupid" from the movie Ratatouille. I was relieved and we now limit watching Ratatouille.

A.--You need to listen to your gut feeling. I have 3 children who have been in various types of daycare and in-home care. Some were better than others. I also grew up with babysitters, some were better than others. I know that your child will have an adjustment period no matter where you send her, but if you are experiencing some of the things that your daughter is, yes, you should look elsewhwere. My 3 year old daugher is in a church run daycare. I know that all teachers will have good days and bad days, but I have never seen anyone being snappy or raise their voices to the children. It should never be tolerated, but that starts with the director. If you talk to the director and feel and that you are not getting anywhere, you should really leave. Have you looked at the child protective services website? Here is the link. http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/

Good luck.

Honey - stop reading this right now and pick up the phone! Call that director/owner - get a meeting today. Lay it out on the table. I guarantee you the director or owner does not want this going on in their school. Kids have imaginations, of that I know, but they do not make things like this up without some basis of truth. Your job is to find out what that truth is - is it exactly as your daughter describes? Or is there an embellishment of the simple, understandable truth?

What you expect them to do about it is to take your concerns seriously and investigate them. Taken at face value, the situations you described, are against state licensing regulations. You can most certainly call the state up and file a complaint - they'll send someone to investigate - especially the spanking incident. There would have been witnesses - even 3 year olds can be witnesses. I wouldn't take that approach just yet, though - I would sit with the director and just be honest, "This is what my daughter is telling me is going on. Can we look at this together and determine if it is happening? And if it's not happening, can you help me figure out why my daughter would say it is?"

But you do need to do something today. What if it is happening? You need to get to the bottom of it lickety split. I know finding another daycare is hard, but what would be harder is finding a way to justify to yourself why you left your daughter in a bad situation. You are the parent here, you have a responsiblity to figure things out for her and keep her as safe and happy as you can. Let that be what guides you- and make that call now.

I wish you lots of luck with this - I know it's a tough situation (I've actually been in the exact situation before, and my only regret is that I didn't speak up sooner.) You hang in there, and go be an advocate for your daughter!